In this chapter, there's a part when a song is played. The song is "Hailie's Song," by Eminem. I suggest you turn it on when that part comes up. It could help.

But otherwise, enjoy!

P.S: How long do you think this fic should be?

Chapter 7: The Way I Am

The falsely dubbed headmaster's office was deadly quiet as the SSS watched their leader struggle with herself. Finally, somebody was stupid enough to open his mouth.

"Yuri-"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out," Yuri ground out furiously. She turned and screamed at all of them, "GET OUT! ALL OF YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Otonashi and Kanade hastily exited the room, but Hinata stood resolutely by the door. "Let me help you-"

"GET OUT!"

"Fine," he muttered, leaving.

Once she was alone, Yuri shouted in frustration and crouched there, her head in her hands. She wasn't going to forget Hikachi, and she couldn't move on with him in her head like this. And for every minute she spent here in the afterlife, the more danger everyone else was exposed to. But the problem was, she didn't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

It was a first for her. There had always been an idea, a spark, a plan, some inspiration to do what she thought was right, what needed doing. It had always been that way. But not this time. All she could think about was the sight of the baby held in the doctor's arms as she watched through the window, such a tiny, bright slice of life just laying there, struggling to take in oxygen, just waiting to die. Just watching it went against her morals; she had always been a fighter, always would be. To see such a bundle of hope and potential snuffed out in less than an hour made Yuri want to scream, because it was all her fault. When you heard from other people that someone's cousin's brother's friend had killed a baby, you would think, Why, what a bastard, and naturally form a bad opinion about this man. And rightfully so, but a certain measure of pity must come with this disdain, if one could understand the pain and realization of taking another life without emotion, without remorse, to share this pain with her, perhaps they would understand.

Now realizing this, Yuri stood and stumbled towards the door, clumsily unlocking it and peeping out. Her friends were all leaning against the wall outside. She absently noted the absence of Naoi, but said nothing of it, deciding to ask later.

Noticing her, they turned and looked. "Yes, Yuri?" Kanade asked gently.

Yuri swallowed, a thickness in her throat. "I need to talk to Hinata."

"Are you sure we can't help too?" asked Otonashi kindly.

"No. I want Hinata," Yuri repeated, clutching at the door frame. She hated how she sounded like a little kid, but she needed him and she would do what was necessary to get him. Hinata stood up from the wall and walked over to her, a question in his eyes, and she pulled him into the room.

The moment he stepped across the threshold and the door closed, he felt Yuri wrap her arms around him and hug him tightly. She pressed her face into his chest and stayed like that, and after a moment's hesitation Hinata held her close to him. They stayed like for a while, Hinata stroking her hair and rubbing her upper back, while Yuri tried to convey her feelings to him without worlds, let him feel what she was feeling, trying to help him understand how she felt. How much grief she felt, how much guilt and fault she felt. She wanted him to know that she was sorry, for keeping them here, for condemning them to this ordeal, for dragging them into this conflict. She wanted him to know that she cared for them, all of them truly, despite how she mistreated them sometimes. Yuri wanted Hinata to know that she wanted to be at peace at last.

Hinata didn't exactly receive the full spectrum of emotions that Yuri was sending him, but he felt her emotions and tried to understand them. Yuri was a beautiful person, but like all others she was complicated, and Hinata wanted very badly to figure her out.

He pressed his nose into her hair and inhaled, closing his eyes and loving the scent he detected. All of the shampoos supplied in the showers were the same, but somehow Yuri managed to use the same soap as everyone else and smell absolutely divine. He knew that everyone smelled a little different, and knew the differing scents of his closest friends, but of them all Yuri smelled the best. A mix of peppermint and something warmer, like honey. A strange but exciting chemistry, something sharp yet soft, something completely Yuri. Hinata twirled a lock of her lush, purple hair around his fingers and breathed contentedly against Yuri's neck, completely at peace.

Said peace didn't last so long when the sounds of stabbing resounded from the other side of the wall.

Alarmed, Yuri back up to the desk, pulling Hinata along with her. Fumbling behind her, she grabbed the Glock she had hidden in one of the desk drawers. Aiming at the closed door, the two listened as the sounds of vicious knife stabbing and dying stopped. There was silence for a few moments.

Then, the oak doors of Anti-Tenshi Headquarters blew open as banged against the walls as a small figure entered the room.

It was a boy. A boy looking to be about ten years old, perhaps younger, with sea green hair and a blank, pure face. It was the face of a baby, the face of a soul unmarred by the sins of life. But the boy had one defining characteristic; his emerald green eyes.

The intruder slowly stepped into the room, dragging two people behind him, one in each hand's grip. Yuri gritted her teeth, when she saw the bloodied, limp bodies of Otonashi and Kanade. Perhaps Otonashi had been overwhelmed by this strange boy, but Kanade? The deathly Angel, with her Guard Skills and overdrive? They were dealing with a serious force here.

The boy cocked his head, and dropped the dead bodies onto the floor. Thud. "Greetings," he said, his voice dead and devoid of any emotion. It was worse than Kanade's voice.

Baring her teeth, Yuri released the safety catch on her gun and barked, "Who are you? What do you want?"

Raising a thin eyebrow, the boy replied icily, "Want? I don't want. I was not made to want."

"What are you here for then?"

At last, a spark of emotion crossed the bare face. A small, sadistic smile. "I came for you, of course," he said stonily, then added, "Big sister."

Before Yuri could register the meaning of this statement, the boy flicked his arm, launching a knife at Hinata at lightning speed. The knife flew so fast over such a short distance that it impaled his chest and flew out of the other side, and Hinata fell like a lead weight to the floor. He was dead in seconds.

Three seconds before he died, a knife found its way into Yuri's thigh, making her scream in pain and fall on her back. Wild, she fire shots at the boy, but he seemed to be using a form of Distortion, as the bullets fell away from his form. Kneeling by the maimed girl, looking at her with his torturously innocent eyes, he said,

"I found you at last."

Breathing hard as she tried to keep the pain at bay, Yuri choked out, "Who...are you...?"

Pulling the knife out of Yuri's thigh, inducing a sadistic cry of pain, the boy pondered and replied, "You would do well to recognize the people you killed."

As the knife descended towards her chest, Yuri heard the words, "I am Takashi Nakamura."

...

"You can't expect anything too direct from our Lord, Yuri. Our God works in mysterious ways."

So thought Yuri as she lay in her bed, idly staring at the plain white wall in front of her face. In her hands she held a pencil which she idly tried to sharpen with her short nails.

Rain pattered softly against the window of her large bedroom, drumming out a steady beat to match the one produced by the radio sitting on her nightstand, beating out some Japanese rock song about being brave and taking on the world. Yuri smiled lopsidedly and began scratching at the wall with her pencil. The song reminded her of what the doctors had told her mom, that she was mentally unstable and had to be kept at home for the moment. If conditions worsened, she would be brought to stay at the hospital. Conditions, she thought, amused. Conditions determined the outcome. Not the preparation or the effort.

The rock song faded away, and the radio announced that it would be playing American music for the next half hour. The first song would be by some artist named M&M. M&M? What that a real name? Or perhaps spelled out, like Eminem? Not like it mattered to her.

Yuri listened to the beginning beat of the song as she drew two little girls and a boy on the wall. Her beautiful siblings.

Yo, I can't sing it

I feel like singin'

I wanna fuckin' sing

Cuz I'm happy

Yeah, I'm happy

Ha Ha

I got my baby back

Yo, check it out

Yuri quirked her eyebrows as she continued to draw. The artist was male and couldn't sing at all; he sounded more like he would be rapping or something. Maybe he did. She knew nothing of American culture.

The beat was slow and sad, with the soft strumming of a guitar. The man's voice was straining but sad. Yuri closed her eyes and listened.

Some days I sit, starin' out the window

Watchin' this world pass me by

Sometimes I think theres nothin' to live for

I almost break down and cry

Sometimes I think I'm crazy

I'm crazy, oh so crazy

Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?

Yuri smiled. Exactly. It was a waste of time.

But then I see my baby

Suddenly I'm not crazy

It all makes sense when I look into her eyes

Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders

Everyone's leanin' on me

Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over

But then she comes back to me

She clenched her fist, adding blood around the figures of her dead siblings. No. They were never coming back. She knew that.

My baby girl keeps gettin' older

I watch her grow up with pride

People make jokes, cuz they don't understand me

They just don't see my real side

I act like shit don't phase me,

Inside it drives me crazy

My insecurities could eat me alive

But then I see my baby

Suddenly I'm not crazy

It all makes sense when I look into her eyes...

Baring her teeth, Yuri exerted a little too much pressure on the pencil, breaking the tip. She finished off by snapping the pencil in half, tossing the broken halves away and burying her face into the bed, listening to rain and not the sad man's piercing words.

...

Dink. Dink.

Yuri's left eye opened, the emerald orb dull and lifeless. Her other eye, squashed under her face as she lay against the wall, didn't open, but she didn't care.

Dink. Dink.

She watched, almost absently, a drops of water fell from somewhere in the ceiling and plopped onto the floor right in front of her nose. She heard the steady pat pat pat of sharp rain against the windows. It had never rained before in the Afterlife, but never had there been a more appropriate time for this.

There was a small, weak push inside her to get up, get ready, take stock of the situation. To be aware of her surroundings and to know. But right now Yuri felt like she was in the middle of one of those lazy Sundays, where it was bright outside and everyone was out doing everything, yet she was content to lay in her bed at sleep, purring to the warmth of the sun through the window. At this moment she was content to lay, in complete and utter defeat, and watch water leak through the roof and form a small puddle in front of her.

Dink. Dink.

I am Takashi Nakamura.

Dink.

The wind lashed at the windows, making the panes rattle, irritating her. The world and those after it were so inconsiderate. Such high powers like God should be able to understand small, human needs like hers. All for Christ's sake, she just wanted to fucking lay there, and give up, but the god damn window panes were rattling and she was having a hard time with it.

Or maybe God cannot understand human need.

Perhaps. Yes, perhaps. God was an almighty power. Idolized and considered sacred and ethical by many. Yet in layman's terms, every divine entity could, eventually and essentially, be classified as a celebrity of sorts. Now that was an idea. God, a celebrity. And like all celebrities, God's opportunities would be different and greater and met with better resources than humans, or in this case, the ordinary citizens. Yuri wondered if God ever stopped to consider the needs of the people that lived under him,and she wondered if celebrities and ordinary people were just the same. She closed her eyes half way. Human nature was hideous, but divine nature was just...atrocious.

The rain intensified and the wind rattled the windows harder, as if God Himself were objecting, no, retorting, to her assumptions. But Yuri paid this no heed, focused on the water dripping onto the carpeted floor. She watched them depravedly, though. Watching each individual drops' journey, she imagined that perhaps water drops were like people, in the sense that they all looked and sounded the same, but if you took the time to really look at them, perhaps take a taste of the water, then you could determine between them. Without an effort though, all water drops looked the same.

I am Takashi Nakamura.

You can't be Takashi Nakamura. Takashi Nakamura died from exposure to salt overdose in a Japanese hospital. You aren't even fucking real. You're a fake, a mother fucking quack, an ass, an illusion and a dilution.

After maintaining this mentality for about three seconds, Yuri let her head fall back at the floor. Who was she kidding? This Takashi Nakamura was just as much a Takashi Nakamura as the real Takashi Nakamura. Who knew, he really could have grown up to look like that. Maybe even to be a killer. Maybe even to kill his sister. And eye for an eye.

As the ring of the drops resonated in her ears, Yuri began to cry and begged, Oh Takashi...I'm sorry.

Thanks for reading! Please review!

-Shrrg