Neither Catherine or Gil slept particularly well that night; both were worried about what the doctor might say the next day. Catherine was worried about her babies. While Gil worried about them, he was more worried about her. Somewhere in the night he wondered why he wasn't more concerned about them. Finally he reasoned that the babies were more 'real' to her; after all, she was the one carrying them. She had a physical awareness of them that he had yet to experience. For him they were still a bit abstract, even though their presence was more and more evident as her tummy grew. As he contemplated these notions he snuggled behind her and reached his arm around her, placing his hand over her tummy. He hoped they could feel that their Daddy was there for them. She was semi-concious when he held her bulging stomach. His hand on her gave her a sense of peace, allowing her to fade into a full sleep.
As the morning sun crept through the window, Catherine slowly woke up. She had a feeling of being watched. Turning, she saw Gil behind her, tears in his eyes. Sleepily she whispered, "Gil?"
"You're so beautiful when you sleep. I've been watching you."
"You've watched me sleep before. It didn't bring tears to your eyes. What were you thinking about?"
"Just...how much I love you. How much I want things to be perfect for you. How it will break both of our hearts if things aren't perfect for the dynamic duo there."
She touched her hand to his face, gently stroking his cheek. "I love you too. And we are all going to be fine. I'm worried too, Gil, but I have to believe that everything is going to be okay. But if there is a problem with the babies, we're still going to be okay because we have each other." He gathered her into his arms. There were no words with which to respond; no way to express the deluge of emotions running through him, except to hold her. She was the center of his universe; as long as she was okay, he would be okay.
"Gil...the dynamic duo? You think of our kids as Batman and Robin?"
Before he could answer they heard a loud clatter from the kitchen, so he went to investigate instead. He found Mattie next to the stove. In the middle of the floor was the toaster, two slices of burnt toast spilling out onto the tile.
"Mattie, what happened?"
His lips in full pouty mode, he was close to tears. "I was going to make my own breakfast...be a big boy. But when I was getting the toast out of the toaster, I knocked it off and it fell down. And my toast is all black." Small tears were making their way down his cheek.
"It's okay, son, as long as you are not hurt. Maybe we need to be sure someone else is with you when you make breakfast, though...just in case you need help. For now, let's clean this up."
Mattie looked at his father sadly. "But I wanted to be a big boy and do it myself," he cried.
Gil walked to where Mattie was standing. Easing his way to the floor, he sat and pulled Mattie into his lap. "Mattie, there are so many things to learn about being grown up. There's just no way to do it in four years. I know that seems like a long time to you, but Daddy's more than ten times that old and I'm still learning how to be a big boy. I think it's something we guys keep learning our whole lives. But you've been doing a great job with the things that are right for a four year old to know. You've been helping with the household chores...taking care of the trash for us and helping to fold laundry. You help clean your room you set the table for dinner. That's alot. Plus you've been great about being quiet when Mommy is resting and helping to take care of her. I think you are doing a fantastic job at this big boy stuff. But making your own toast is probably a six year old boy thing, okay?"
Mattie looked at his father through tear laden eyes. "What kind of big boy things are you still learning?"
Gil thought a moment. "Well, I've had to learn to make toast, and the rest of breakfast, for more than just me. And I'm learning that the more love you give away, the more you get back. And always before I married your mother I only had me to take care of. Seems to me like I'm just now understanding how to take care of Mommy and Lindsey and you and now we're going to have twins and I'll have to learn how to take care of them too. Mostly I'm learning that this big boy stuff is really hard sometimes but that it is worth the effort, so I keep trying. So, you see Mattie...it's something you keep doing as long as you live."
Sniffling before he spoke, Mattie looked up at his Dad's face. "So you never get to be all grown up?"
"Well, your body does. But inside, where all the really good stuff happens, there's always a little part of you that hasn't quite grown up yet."
"Oh..."
Gil hugged his son. "Come on, let's get this cleaned up and I'll help you with breakfast, okay?"
The boy smiled as he stood up and began picking up his mess.
After getting Lindsey off to school and dropping Mattie off at his, Gil and Catherine headed to her doctor's office. Catherine went back for the regular exam and then later one of the nurses came to get Gil. They sat in the office, waiting for the doctor to talk to them. After a few nervous minutes, she enterd and sat behind her desk.
"Well, we got the results back from the amnio. Things are looking good. I'll remind you that while this is very reliable it is not 100 per cent. But everything came back negative. There were no signs of any of the chromosonal defects we talked about."
Both parents relaxed at her words. A heavy burden was lifted and they immediatly felt better.
"And Catherine, you seem to be doing a great job of resting and eating right. All the labs so far are showing that you are maitaining your health and that of the babies. Any questions?"
Both nodded and thanked the doctor for the good news.
"Oh, don't thank me, you are the ones doing all the hard stuff. I think next time we'll do another ultrasound and see how they are proggressing. Maybe one will wave at you."
They smiled at her comment and thanked her again before leaving. As they drove home, Gil turned to Catherine and smiled. "Honey, I feel like celebrating. You want to run by Babies R US and pick out the things for their room?" Catherine hadn't wanted to fix their room until they knew things were okay. She had said it would jinx them. But now, things were looking very good. "Yes, let's do that." Her eyes were sparkling. Gil loved seeing that sparkle in her eyes.
They picked out the furniture and then she browsed the bedding section. Gil was looking at car seats, reading every box for safety information. Then he checked out the strollers, estatic to find that they make them for twins. He went to find Catherine to tell her the good news.
She was standing next to the bedding display, tears dropping from her eyes. "Cath?" Gil was alarmed.
"It's real isn't it? We're having twins... It's not just a dream."
Relieved, he chuckled. "No, Honey, it's not a dream. That little basketball you are carrying really is twins. "
Her eyes glistened as she looked into his. "I'm just so...relieved."
"Me too," he smiled as he hugged her. "Come on, I want to show you what I found," he said as he led her to the strollers
-------------------------------------------
So...how am I doing?