Chapter 7

"What would you do, Kurt?"

Kurt stared back at Blaine, speechless at first. Blaine, his one-time mentor, cool, collected, 'been-there-done-that' Blaine, needed his help now. At Blaine's urging, Kurt had run to Dalton, run away from his problems at McKinley, and left behind his unhinged teenage bully because the system simply had failed him. The system wasn't just failing to help with this problem. The system, this corrupt, predatory teacher was the problem, and now Blaine was looking at him with blind trust, as if Kurt had all the answers. Blaine was depending on him. But what was the answer?

"We … could try going to the Dean," he finally mumbled. Kurt knew it was bull the second he said it. Both of them knew how much people in authority … people like Sue or Miles, or even good-natured Will, could be depended on or trusted in a crisis. Sure enough, Blaine's face fell in disappointment. And then panic.

"I - - I made a mistake. I said too much," Blaine cried. "I shouldn't have trusted you. You don't get it." He pulled the guitar strap over his head, leaning the instrument against the wall and wringing his hands.

Kurt reached out and grasped Blaine's wrist, wincing when Blaine jerked away and lurched up off the bed and away from him.

"I get it, Blaine, but Miles, he's a criminal. He's hurting you, and if you don't care about that, just think - - he could do this to other kids after he gets tired of you. It's our responsibility to make sure he's stopped, and that means turning him in. If you won't do it, then I have to!"

Blaine swayed by the closet door. "It's like that, then?" he wavered. "You're going to be like that about it? I never told anybody your secret! You trusted me and I - - I kept your secret about Karofsky kissing you. Why is this different?"

Brimming tears burned in Kurt's eyes and he scrubbed them away. "I know you can't see it, because of all you've been through, but this is different. Outing Dave Karofsky would be totally different than turning in a child molesting teacher! No. This isn't a secret that I can keep, it wouldn't be right. I'm sorry, Blaine, but I can't see any way around it, can you?"

The dark, tousled head jerked up slightly at that. Kurt was puzzled as Blaine stared at him, his eyes round with astonishment and then resignation.

"Okay. I get what you're hinting at." Blaine ran a hand through his hair and his gaze turned sultry, but artificial. "Why didn't you just say so? What do you want, to keep you quiet?" he whispered, his voice going lower.

"What?"

Blaine smirked, but his eyes looked sad and dead. "You want to fuck me, right? Wait, you're a … a virgin," he mocked. "So maybe you'll be satisfied with a blow job … maybe that'll do?" Blaine tilted his head sideways and looked through half-lidded eyes at him, licking his lips. "Whatever it is, Kurt, I'll make you feel so good your conscience won't bother you at all about keeping your big mouth shut about this." Blaine was inching toward him now, step by unsteady step, and Kurt was paralyzed, mouth hanging open in shock. "Say you'll keep quiet, Kurt, and I'll let you do anything you want to me."

Kurt had never been less turned on, or more aghast, in his life, than he was right now. Blaine was getting everything mixed up and - - oh, no - - Blaine was climbing back up on the bed - - "I didn't mean anything like that, Blaine! I'm not like Miles - -"

"You feel a little guilty, hm?" Blaine whispered, settling down next to Kurt. He smelled like alcohol, and close up, his eyes were bloodshot. "Don't. It won't be like Miles, because I - I like you, and I know you like me, and it'll be good for both of us this time." He put a hand on the side of Kurt's face and stroked it with his fingertips, tracing Kurt's lower lip with his thumb. Kurt felt a jolt, a current running from Blaine's fingers, curling his fingers and toes. Blaine was so beautiful ... his very own Teenage Dream come to life. His eyes caught and held Kurt's and Kurt had always had a weakness for those long-lashed topaz eyes.

He caught his breath, and couldn't resist as Blaine drew him close and kissed his open mouth, sliding his tongue into Kurt's slackened mouth. Kurt's eyes dropped shut, and ... he kissed back, his heart pounding wildly.

Kurt had dreamed of a magical first kiss for a long time; he imagined it coming from a magical boy who cared about him, maybe after a romantic first date. But his actual first kiss … didn't count. He was pretending with Brittany that day in the basement, and so was she. And the next one was even worse, an angry burst of near-violence from a boy who hated him and hated himself. He'd decided, to comfort himself, that neither of those kisses counted, though, and the first real kiss was still waiting for him from his romantic prince.

That romantic, vague prince of his dreams had been replaced by Blaine's image from the first moment Blaine had taken his hand, and Blaine's kiss should be the one that finally counted.

But it was wrong … Blaine was trembling, his mouth tasted like whiskey, his hands were shaking. He was doing it because he was drunk and desperate and afraid, and Kurt couldn't bear it. "Stop," Kurt gasped, pulling away. "Not like this - Not when you don't mean it. Not when you're drunk and upset."

Kurt's heart sank when he saw Blaine's eyes turn dull with mingled despair and hurt.

"I'm sorry." Blaine rolled onto his side, facing away from Kurt. "I thought you wanted me that way. I thought you liked me. I guess I was wrong - -"

He put his hand on Blaine's shoulder, stroking it gently. "I do like you, Blaine. So much. You're my best friend, and … you know I like you like you. But I don't want you to kiss me, or do anything else, for the wrong reasons. Please understand why I don't want it that way between us?"

"I don't know any other way!" Blaine sobbed, and Kurt curled around him, holding him tight. "I'm broken, and now you're saying you won't be with me because I'm used, that's what you mean. I knew if you found out that's what would happen. Nobody clean will want me if they know - you don't - - " Blaine wept irrationally.

"You're not understanding what I'm saying," Kurt desperately tried to explain. "I don't want to take advantage. I want to help you, I - -"

"Then don't tell, I'm begging you. You don't understand what my life was before … I know what Miles is doing seems like the worst thing to you, but you don't know what the worst is. If I can survive this and get out of high school, then I have a shot at a normal life. Please, Kurt!" Blaine rolled over and pressed his face against Kurt's neck. Kurt could feel Blaine's tears against his skin, Blaine's entire body shaking with emotion.

Kurt sighed; there was no reasoning with Blaine right now, that was clear. He allowed Blaine to cry it out and cling to him until his one-time mentor finally fell asleep, and then lay watching his troubled face and wondering what he could do to help him.