Disclaimer: Walt Disney Co owns Kim and the gang. I have a truck, a TV and a bed. They own a whole lot more than I do and aren't paying me anything for writing this story.

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Chapter 7 Mom and THE Day

Ron yawned as he walked out the door. He spotted the Swiss Guardsman he now knew as Jorge standing post. "Hey Jorge," Ron said nonchalantly, "is there any vending machines or a kitchen in this building? I'd like somethin to eat before I go to sleep."

Jorge pointed down the hallway. "There's a full kitchen. Just go to the end of this hall and take the elevator to the basement Your Holiness. If you're hungry the kitchen staff is available twenty four hours a day to serve you."

Ron waved a hand indifferently, yawned and took a few steps. "I can handle myself in the kitchen." He stopped a few yards down the hall and turned to the Swiss Guardsman. "Was Shego just in my room?"

"Yes she was Your Holiness," Jorge chimed and slightly bowed. "She's been visiting the Pope's quarters for quite a few years now. We were ordered never to bother them when she was in the room," he smiled slyly, "no matter what we heard." The guard realized his faux pas and quickly added, "I only entered your room because you're new here and you haven't been installed as Pope yet. If you prefer we can see to it Shego doesn't get in."

Ron waved him off and proceeded down the hall. "We be good Jorge and I guess Shego is alright by me at any time of the day or night."

"YES, Your Holiness," Jorge bowed deeply and smirked knowingly.

Ron took the elevator to the basement and found the kitchen lit to a bright, almost daylight glow. "What the..." he wondered and wandered and found the stove occupied.

"Hi Honey," Mrs. Stoppable chimed as she flipped something in a pan. "You always like a snack before you go to bed so I thought I'd fix something for you. Besides, with the time difference it's dinnertime back home in Middleton and you'd be just getting home to eat with the family. It might be late evening here but your stomach is telling you it's time for supper."

"Thanks Mom," Ron sang sweetly as he sat on a barstool near the counter, "can I help you with anything?"

"No Dear," Jan Stoppable said wiping her hands on her apron, "I got everything under control." She stirred whatever was in the pan on the stove and sighed. "Ronnie," she said hesitantly, "are you still worried about what's going to happen tomorrow?"

"No Mom," Ron said and chuckled lightly. "As a matter of fact everything is going great right now. Did you know Shego is Catholic?"

"That green skinned abomination you always complain about?" Jan Stoppable said as she spooned out the food onto a plate. "Why are you thinking about her?" She placed the dish in front of her Son and plated another portion for herself.

Ron dug in and said through mouthfuls, "She just visited me in my room. She called herself the Pope's Sword of Justice and said she's at my beck and call for anything I wanted, including making me a man."

"That hussy!" Janette Stoppable hissed. "If she thinks she can get her hooks into you she's..."

"Mom, Mom," Ron hushed his Mother, "it isn't like that. She offered and I refused. No, she's normally there to help the Pope with Catholic laws and such."

"Can you trust such a woman?" Mother Stoppable asked in disbelief. "Shego's an outlaw."

"Shego might be evil, manipulative, devious and sinful," Ron laughed, "but she's a devout Catholic and dedicated to the Papacy. I think she can help me with a lot of things."

"Well, okay Ron," Mrs. Stoppable said warily, "if you say so. Eat your food and get to bed. You have a big day ahead of you."

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Ronald Dean Stoppable awoke and snuggled in his warm comfy bed. Slowly he uncurled and opened his eyes. He saw the ornate surroundings, slammed his eyes closed and groaned, "Oh God, this isn't a dream." He slung his legs out of bed while donning the bathrobe, stepped into a pair of slippers and proceeded to the bathroom for his morning ablution.

As he was brushing his teeth he heard a knock at the door. Ron leaned out the bathroom door and foamily yelled, "Yeah, come on in!"

Harry Jackman, Head of Vatican Security, walked into the main room and happily chimed, "Good Morning Your Holiness."

Ron rinsed and spat. He exited the bathroom and greeted his guest. "Good Morning Mr. Jackman, it's good to see you but why are you here so early in the morning?"

Mr. Jackman spread a couple of file folders out on the table and sat down. He motioned for Ron to take a seat next to him. "I always brief the Pope on world situations he should be aware of. We also need to go over some of the security measures you'd like at the Papal Inauguration." There was a knock at the door. It immediately opened and a service trolley was wheeled into the room. "Ah, breakfast," Mr. Jackman said hungrily rubbing his hands together.

Both Ron and the Head of Security loaded a plate with vittles. As they noshed, Mr. Jackman told Ron about a few hot spots in the world the Pontiff-to-be already knew about. (Current Events class may have been slow getting off the Papal situation but it covered world events throughly beforehand.) As Mr. Jackman drank his coffee he informed Ron of the security measures he had planned for the upcoming ceremony.

Ron nodded and munched all through Mr. Jackman's briefing. He wiped his mouth when the Head of Security was done and said, "Okay, that's all very interesting. I know I'm new here but am I going to get briefed like this every morning? I mean I knew all about the world situations."

"It's what the other Pontiffs wanted," Mr. Jackman said as he leaned back in his chair.

"Well, do you need to tell me about them when nothing new is happening?" Ron begged.

"If you'd like," Mr. Jackman shrugged, "I can only brief you when something interesting develops."

"I appreciate you telling me about the security measure for the ceremony," Ron smiled his goofy grin, "but I'm sure you have other things to do than waste your time going over old ground about the war in Sri Lanka," Ron picked up a folder and tossed it to the center of the table. "Am I right?"

Mr. Jackman smiled and nodded. "I like you Ronicus. The previous two Popes I served under didn't understand my time is valuable. They thought they needed to go over every little detail and put their two cents in."

"Well, they never saw you at work like I did when Kim and I were here before," Ron said. "I trust you and your judgment of all thing security."

Harry Jackman stood and extended his hand. "Thank You Bishop Stoppable, you've made my job a lot easier. If you ever need a briefing on any world problems let me know."

Ron took the proffered hand of friendship and shook it vigorously. "I don't think you'll like me too much when you find out about the plans Cardinal Funicello and I talked about."

"What," Mr. Jackman said slightly chuckling, "you mean your still going on missions and conducting a Mass after? Thank God I'm out of that loop. You remember Jenkins my assistant." Ron nodded. "He'll be in charge of that. He a good man and is more than capable of handle it."

"Do you think it's a good idea?" Ron asked the Head of Vatican Security.

"I think it's a marvelous idea," Jackman said laughing heartily. "It'll bring the whole Church closer to the people and, like Cardinal Funicello said, it's great PR." Jackman walked to the door but turned before he opened it. "Oh by the way, have your parents make a list of all the sights they'd like to see. I'm in charge of your general schedule and I'll make sure there's a day off every so often so you and your folks can get out to see the city."

"You'd let me leave the Vatican and wander around with Mom and Dad?" Ron begged in astonishment.

"Not un-escorted." Harry Jackman said as he opened the door and paused. "There will always be a plain-clothed Security Officer accompanying you and there are ways for you to go out on the town and not be recognized. With a wig and the proper clothes you'd blend right in with the rest of the tourists."

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Ron spent the rest of the morning in the fitting room making sure the Papal Robes and Miter fit to perfection and his new suits and other fancy clothes draped right on his body. As the tailors flitted around him Ron was also quizzed on his knowledge of Latin and the words he would recite at the noon ceremony. The Middleton contingency would wander in a few at a time and talk for a minute or two before they were ushered out of the room with promises of later audiences with the Pontiff. Only Kim and his Mother stayed through the whole session making, what they thought were, helpful suggestions as to Ron's wardrobe and accessories. The two women decided Ron didn't look good in a dark blue pin striped suit and opted for more earthy tones. There was a major disagreement between the two women when it came to the bling. Jan Stoppable thought the six inch tall gold cross on a heavy gold chain was a bit too ostentatious. Kim thought it went well with the American half dollar sized gold cuff links and matched Ron's golden locks.

Ron presided over a smaller Holy Mass that preceded the Inaugural Mass held outside St. Peter's Basilica in the piazza. Only Kim and a few of the Bishops and Cardinals who were listening, noticed the few mis-spoken Latin words Ron stumbled over during the service. After receiving the pallium, a white stole with red crosses on it, and the Ring of the Fisherman, Ron stood before the assembled Cardinals. They all knelt and swore their obedience to the new Holy Bishop of Rome. The older, traditionalist Cardinals smiled brightly as Ron, in difference to the 1996 Apostolic Constitution Universi Dominici Gregis, knelt before theCardinals and swore the Papal Oath. (The oath having being abandoned by previous Pontiffs.)

Ron bowed to the Cardinals after he arose and, with a flourish of his Holy Robe, marched over to the chair he chose to be his Papal Throne. Behind the stage area thousands of doves and pigeons were release. As they swooped and swirled overhead Ron held out his hands and a pair of snow white doves came down to perch. The new Pontiff slowly brought his hand to his face, cooed to the birds for a few seconds and they appeared to bow to him. Pope Ronicus turned to the Papal chair and the two doves hopped off his hand and roosted on the high back as he sat down. They didn't leave their position until the Pontiff left the stage after his sermon. The new Pope cleared his throat and turned on the battery pack to his wireless microphone before delivering his homily. The next chapter consists solely of this sermon.

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A/N: This Papal Inauguration, while not completely following the actual ceremony, is as accurate as I wish it to be. I found during my research, each new Pope can design their own ceremony under the afore mentioned 1996 Apostolic Constitution. The next chapter, which will be Ron's sermon, might be the hardest thing I'll ever have to write and I'm concentrating on it more than this or any other chapter.