So Sorry i have not updated this in ages! work has actually taken over my life right now. The next chapter wont be up for a while, so i'll keep you happy with this for now :)
Disclaimer: All the words in bold have been taken from Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 12 :) Enjoy!
Memories: Chapter 7
Excerpts used from Chapter 12: The Patronus
After dinner, and a magnificent chocolate feast in the drawing room, they started again.
They appeared in a deserted but well lit classroom, with young Harry the only occupant. Teddy found this curious, especially as it appeared to be dark outside, and Harry seemed to be waiting for something. Suddenly, the door began to open, and Harry hopped off the desk that he had been sat upon.
His dad walked into the room, carrying an incredibly large suitcase, which was placed onto the desk at the front of the classroom.
"What's that?" said Harry.
"Another Boggart," said Lupin, stripping off his cloak. "I've been combing the castle ever since Tuesday, and very luckily, I found this one lurking inside Mr. Filch's filing cabinet. It's the nearest we'll get to a real Dementor. The Boggart will turn into a Dementor when he sees you, so we'll be able to practice on him. I can store him in my office when we're not using him; there's a cupboard under my desk he'll like."
"Okay," said Harry. Teddy noticed that he sounded incredibly nervous. He turned his head back to his father, excited at getting this chance with his father.
"So…" Professor Lupin had taken out his own wand, and indicated that Harry should do the same. "The spell I am going to try and teach you is highly advanced magic, Harry — well beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm."
"How does it work?" said Harry nervously.
"Well, when it works correctly, It conjures up a Patronus," said Lupin, "which is a kind of anti-Dementor — a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the Dementor."
"It is an incredibly useful spell," Harry said. "Your dad saved my life with these lessons."
"The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon — hope, happiness, the desire to survive — but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the Dementors can't hurt it. But I must warn you, Harry, that the charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it."
"Really?" Teddy asked, although he could see how people would.
"Yeh," Harry said. "Even I struggled with it at first. Took me ages."
"What does a Patronus look like?" said Harry curiously.
"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it."
"And how do you conjure it?"
"With an incantation, which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory."
"And that's the bit that people struggle with," Harry explained. "the tricky part is maintaining that memory while sadness and depression is surrounding you."
"Right," he said, trying to recall as exactly as possible the wonderful, soaring sensation of his stomach.
"The incantation is this —" Lupin cleared his throat. "Expecto patronum!"
"Expecto patronum," Harry repeated under his breath, "expecto patronum."
"Concentrating hard on your happy memory?"
"Oh — yeah —" said Harry, quickly forcing his thoughts back to that first broom ride. "Expecto patrono — no, patronum — sorry — expecto patronum, expecto patronum"
They watched as a silvery wisp appeared, but quickly disappeared.
"Did you see that?" said Harry excitedly. "Something happened!"
"Very good," said Lupin, smiling. "Right, then — ready to try it on a Dementor?"
"Yes," Harry said, moving into the middle of the deserted classroom.
Lupin grasped the lid of the suitcase and pulled.
A boggart dementor appeared from the suitcase as the lid opened. While the desired effect was achieved, Teddy noticed it was somewhat dimmed down from a real dementor.
"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto —"
They watched as Harry once again passed out, and was revived by Remus.
Harry winced as he remembered this moment.
"Harry!" They heard Remus shout.
"Sorry," he muttered, sitting up.
"Oh come on," Teddy said. "It's Dad, you don't need to apologise for passing out on him like that. He won't have minded.
"Thanks Ted," Harry smiled.
"Are you all right?" said Lupin.
"Yes…" Harry pulled himself up on one of the desks and leaned against it.
"Here —" Lupin handed him a Chocolate Frog. "Eat this before we try again. I didn't expect you to do it your first time; in fact, I would have been astounded if you had."
"I told you your Dad had a sweet tooth," Harry said to Teddy, laughing. "Never went anywhere without a good bar of chocolate! The fact that it helps after a dementors got to you was irrelevant!"
Teddy laughed along with his godfather, because he had heard about his chocolate habit before.
"It's getting worse," Harry muttered, biting off the Frog's head. "I could hear her louder that time — and him — Voldemort —"
Teddy noticed that his Dad's skin tone was a lot paler. It had to be hard to have your best friends son describe his parents deaths to you.
"Harry, if you don't want to continue, I will more than understand —"
"I do!" said Harry fiercely, stuffing the rest of the Chocolate Frog into his mouth. "I've got to! What if the Dementors turn up at our match against Ravenclaw? I can't afford to fall off again. If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"
"Typical," Teddy said. "All that effort, and you're worried about a quidditch cup?"
"I know," he said, smiling. "It does seem silly now I look back."
"All right then…" said Lupin. "You might want to select another memory, a happy memory, I mean, to concentrate on… That one doesn't seem to have been strong enough…"
"Ready?" said Lupin, gripping the box lid.
"Ready," said Harry.
"Go!" said Lupin, pulling off the lid. The Dementor glided forward, drawing its breath; one rotting hand was extending toward Harry —
"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto Pat —"
The room once more faded and came back into focus, signalling that Harry had passed out and had been revived again.
"Harry! Harry… wake up…"
Lupin was tapping Harry hard on the face. Young Harry looked strangely disorientated.
"I heard my dad," Harry mumbled. "That's the first time I've ever heard him — he tried to take on Voldemort himself, to give my mum time to run for it…"
Young Harry bent down incredibly low, and appeared to be fastening his laces.
"That didn't fool me and I'm sure it didn't fool dad either," Teddy said, looking at his godfather.
"Probably not," Harry agreed.
"You heard James?" said Lupin in a strange voice. It was almost a lost voice, and Teddy realised that he could probably hear and see James in Harry.
"Yeah…" Face dry, Harry looked up. "Why — you didn't know my dad, did you?"
"I — I did, as a matter of fact," said Lupin. "We were friends at Hogwarts. Listen, Harry — perhaps we should leave it here for tonight. This charm is ridiculously advanced… I shouldn't have suggested putting you through this…"
"No!" said Harry. He got up again. "I'll have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's what it is… hang on…"
"Ready?" said Lupin, after giving him a couple of minutes silence to think of something, and who looked as though he were doing this against his better judgment.
"Concentrating hard? All right — go!"
He pulled off the lid of the case for the third time, and the Dementor rose out of it; the room fell cold and dark —
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry bellowed. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
The dementor stopped in its tracks, and then a huge, silver shadow came bursting out of the end of Harry's wand, to hover between him and the Dementor.
Teddys jaw dropped. To get that far in such a small space of time was incredibly impressive. Teddy hadn't managed to do it until at least the 5th time he tried.
"Riddikulus!" roared Lupin, springing forward.
There was a loud crack, and Harry's cloudy Patronus vanished along with the Dementor and he sank into a chair.
"It was exhausting," Harry laughed.
"Excellent!" Lupin said, striding over to where Harry sat. "Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"
"I can tell he's impressed," Harry said. "You are very alike him and you, he would have been incredibly proud of you."
"Thanks," Teddy said quietly.
"Can we have another go? Just one more go?"
"Not now," said Lupin firmly. "You've had enough for one night. Here —"
He handed Harry a large bar of Honeydukes' best chocolate.
"Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Same time next week?"
"Okay," said Harry. He took a bite of the chocolate and watched Lupin extinguishing the lamps that had rekindled with the disappearance of the Dementor. A thought had just occurred to him.
"Professor Lupin?" he said. "If you knew my dad, you must've known Sirius Black as well."
Lupin turned very quickly.
"What gives you that idea?" he said sharply.
"Nothing — I mean, I just knew they were friends at Hogwarts too…"
Lupin's face relaxed.
"Yes, I knew him," he said shortly. "Or I thought I did. You'd better be off, Harry, it's getting late."
The two of them followed young Harry out of the room and down the corridor. They watched as he took a detour behind a suit of armour and sank down on its plinth to finish his chocolate.
"They're dead," he told himself sternly. "They're dead and listening to echoes of them won't bring them back. You'd better get a grip on yourself if you want that Quidditch Cup."
He stood up, crammed the last bit of chocolate into his mouth, and headed back to Gryffindor Tower.
The memory faded away and re-appeared into the same classroom that they had just left, with a young Harry looking incredibly frustrated, and Remus looking very calm.
They watched, and after a couple of more attempts, he still could not get any further than the protective shadow.
"You're expecting too much of yourself," said Professor Lupin, sternly. "For a thirteen-year-old wizard, even an indistinct Patronus is a huge achievement. You aren't passing out anymore, are you?"
"I thought a Patronus would — charge the Dementors down or something," said Harry dispiritedly. "Make them disappear —"
"The true Patronus does do that," said Lupin. "But you've achieved a great deal in a very short space of time. If the Dementors put in an appearance at your next Quidditch match, you will be able to keep them at bay long enough to get back to the ground."
"You said it's harder if there are loads of them," said Harry.
"I have complete confidence in you," said Lupin, smiling.
"And that is why you should always do what your dad says," said Harry nudging Teddy.
"Here — you've earned a drink. Something from the Three Broomsticks. You won't have tried it before —"
"Oh of course you won't have tried it before at all," Teddy said sarcastically. "It's not like you can get into Hogsmeade without permission or anything"
Harry just grinned at him. "Of course not!" he said, smiling. "What kind of person do you take me for?"
"One who would bend the rules," Teddy laughed back. "But don't worry, I think I would have done exactly the same in your position."
He pulled two bottles out of his briefcase.
"Butterbeer!" said Harry, without thinking. "Yeah, I like that stuff!"
Lupin raised an eyebrow.
"Oh — Ron and Hermione brought me some back from Hogsmeade," Harry lied quickly.
"I see," said Lupin.
"He still looks suspicious," Teddy said, laughing.
"Of course he should be," Harry laughed, "I'm James' son, who was notorious for breaking the rules. He must have thought that I would do something like that, because he knew that my Dad would not have stayed in Hogwarts on a hogsmeade weekend either!"
"Well — let's drink to a Gryffindor victory against Ravenclaw! Not that I'm supposed to take sides, as a teacher…" he added hastily.
They drank the butterbeer in silence, until Harry voiced something he'd been wondering for a while.
"What's under a Dementor's hood?"
"Did you really have to ask?" Teddy cringed.
"Sorry, but I didn't realise at the time that there would be an audience," Harry said.
"Hmmm… well, the only people who really know are in no condition to tell us. You see, the Dementor lowers its hood only to use its last and worst weapon."
"What's that?"
"They call it the Dementor's Kiss," said Lupin, with a slightly twisted smile. "It's what Dementors do to those they wish to destroy utterly. I suppose there must be some kind of mouth under there, because they clamp their jaws upon the mouth of the victim and — and suck out his soul."
Harry accidentally spat out a bit of butterbeer.
"What — they kill —?"
"Oh no," said Lupin. "Much worse than that. You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you'll have no sense of self anymore, no memory, no… anything. There's no chance at all of recovery. You'll just exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever… lost."
"That's horrible," Teddy said, with a look of disgust.
Lupin drank a little more butterbeer, then said, "It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black. It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry have given the Dementors permission to perform it if they find him."
"And that's even worse," Harry replied.
"He deserves it," he said suddenly.
Teddy looked around at his Godfather in shock.
"I didn't mean it," he said in his defence.
"You think so?" said Lupin lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"
"Yes," said Harry defiantly. "For… for some things…"
Remus just looked on at him sadly.
He finished his butterbeer, thanked Lupin, and left the History of Magic classroom.
The memory faded out and they came out of the pensieve into the Drawing room.
"You really wished for him to get the dementors kiss?" Teddy asked as soon as they were both back in the room.
"No, I don't think so, not really," Harry said. "I was just very angry, and very upset about the whole Black situation at the time, and when i just got carried away with my thoughts, and voiced them aloud before I could really think and understand."
"Well," Teddy said. "I suppose that's alright then." It was a strange thing to get his head around. To him, harry had always been there as his godfather, his conscience, a voice of steady reason. To see him as a child feeling so unsure, and saying something so harshly without thinking, was simply odd.
"I was young, and slightly foolish, like everyone is at that age," Harry said.
Teddy laughed, "except for Aunt Hermione!"
"Especially her," Harry jokingly said, laughing at Teddy, who didn't know whether he should laugh or not.
"Right, it's getting kind of late, so same time tomorrow morning?" Harry asked.
"Yes, same time." Teddy said, leaving the room to go to bed. Not that he would really be able to sleep after so much information about his parents. He had begun to dream about them at night, which made him wish all the more that they had survived.
If they had, he might have had a completely different life, but then, he reasoned, he was incredibly happy with the life he had. Harry and Ginny were like his parents, James, Al and Lily were his brothers and sister.
A/N: so how was that? still not sure i got the balance between past and present just right, so please let me know in a review?