Nightmare.
,, Gordon, relax." Raven was literally staring down a gun barrel, but she just kept on walking.
,, And what good would that do?"
,, And blowing our brains out is going to help?" she stopped just in front of Gordon, the rifle pointing straight at her chest. Not that she would notice if he shot, her lungs already felt like they were shut down.
,, Yes!" he shouted.
,, And then you die or get arrested. And then everyone are happy."
,, Raven... They know!"
,, So?"
Raven was sitting and glaring down at her "food" as if it would solve her problems and clear a cell in another jail. She was beginning to feel weak every waken moment, something inside the walls of the asylum was breaking her will power. Maybe they doped the food? Put something in the water? The very poor sour air in the halls? No matter what it was, it made her loose her appetite.
She pushed the tray away, sitting with her useless fork in her right hand, before dropping that to the table. Joker had condemned her to sit opposite Crane at every meal, so he was the first to look up from his paste and looked at her, slight hint of a teasing smile playing in the corner of his mouth. But Joker was the first to speak, as always (which also had something to do with the fact that her never shut up.)
,, Ya' know, ya' should really eat yer food."
,, Since when did we become friends? I'm not hungry."
,, That may be what you think, but I can assure you the keepers see it in another light, miss Scarrow." Crane said and scraped the last bits of glue from his plate, eating them with the same enthusiasm as a man on the death row might do with his final meal, knowing that by the end of it he would die.
,, Scarecrow..." a passing guard said, Raven and Crane alike looking up. The keeper looked at Raven.
,, Why are you not eating?"
,, Because I'm not hungry." Raven shrugged.
,, And my name is Scarrow."
,, You not hungry?" the guy asked, as if it would be possible not to be drooling over this feast before her.
,, No."
,, Why?"
,, Because I'm not." Raven said and glared up at the keeper.
,, It's that simple." the guard looked at her for a few more seconds, then turned and walked away. Raven sniffed at him.
,, That wasn't the wisest thing to do, sugar plum." Joker said, leaning close to Raven but watching the keeper intently. The guard was now standing and talking to two other men, pointing back in Raven's direction.
,, What do you care?"
,, Well, it's a real bitch sitting at the same table as a person who gets her meal shoved down her throat."
,, Not to mention greatly annoying." Crane continued. Joker looked perplexed.
,, That's what I said." apparently, Crane wasn't that good with everyday slang. He tried to look unaffected but Raven couldn't help smile when she saw the smallest hint of a twitch of frustration in his blue eyes.
,, Oh, and here they come." Joker commented when the three keepers began walking back to the table where Raven sat. And then, something very weird and frustrating happened.
Four arms reached in over the table, each of them holding a fork. In quick turns, Joker, Riddler, Selina and even Crane scooped up a glob of Raven's "food" an they all ate their respective portion. When the keepers reached the table, they found Raven's plate empty and none of them noticed her baffled look. They glared at her for some time, as if she would spit the food out again, then they walked back to their respective corners of the cafeteria. Raven looked at the persons around the table.
,, What the Hell was that supposed to mean?" she hissed. Selina shrugged.
,, I was hungry." Riddler nodded to show he agreed with the cat lady.
,, Besides, you're far too good for force-feeding, bumblebee." Joker said and wrapped an arm around Raven's shoulders. Raven shoved him away and felt confusion and misery well up inside of her.
She didn't want them to help! She didn't want them to think they were friends! She wanted to be alone, not to think that she could actually make confidantes inside Arkham!
She looked at Crane who had returned to starring at the table, like it was the final chapter in a crime novel.
Why did you help? she wondered, but kept her mouth shut.
Across the table, Crane was pondering over the same thing;
Why did I help?
*
Dear Raven.
Good to know you're still hanging in there, but you have always done so I don't really see why that should change now.
I can't wait till you get out, we got so much catching up to do. Oh, and I've met a guy! And not just any guy; his name is Ennio Felice and he's from Tuscany. He's an absolute angel and I can't wait for you to meet him. We've been dating for a few months, but I could only first tell you now, since you're allowed to send mail now.
Love you forever and can't wait till we see each other again,
Susan.
Raven was lying on her bed and reading the letter from Susan again, trying to read between the lines and detect... something. Sadness, pain, fear... all that.
She should be happy that Susan had found a steady date, but she had never met the guy. From her experience, he could be a jerk.
She folded the letter and tugged it back under her mattress, then turned over on her back and stared at the ceiling. Her droopy eyelids began growing heavy and she fell asleep, curled up in her cold cell on her cold bed with the cold sheets wrapped around her cold body.
The lights of the hospital were painfully sharp and cut their way into Raven's eyes with an almost evil persistence.
When it had happened in real life, Raven had been too weak and drugged to move, but here she sat herself up perfectly fine. She was wearing the ugly kind of clothes she had been forced into that time, long ago, and her right wrist was still chained to the bed, just like last time. Her head felt heavy and her right side ached from the several stitches the surgeons had given her to close up the cut.
She began tugging at the handcuffs, as if she could break free simply by that and her brows furrowed.
Since when did her dreams grow as insanely much like her real life? Where was all the fun stuff?
A soft hand with strong slim fingers closed around Raven's aching wrist and a soft strong voice spoke, the owner of both stroking Raven's wrist soothingly.
,, Well, miss Scarrow, I think you'll live to see another day." Crane said, smiling that stupid smile of his. He was wearing his Arkham uniform, as if he had ran away just to come and see Raven.
,, Crane?" Raven asked, her voice not at all drowsed by drugs like when it had really happened.
,, At your services." he grabbed a key from a pocket Raven never knew existed in the uniforms and held it up; it was the kind of small key to unlock handcuffs.
,, I take it this is what you are searching for?" Raven tried to snatch the key but Crane pulled it away, just like Joker had done with the letter, and he smiled wickedly-softly at her.
,, I am afraid it is not going to be that simple." he sat down on the bed, Raven pulling as far away from him as the cuffs allowed her to. He placed one hand on the other side of her and leaned closer to her face.
,, What do you want?" Raven asked, even though she didn't know if she actually spoke the words or she simply thought it. It was her dream, and now it felt like on of those conscious ones. And she didn't like it. She was locked in one of the worst days of her life, added one crazy from Arkham Asylum and she was chained down in a most uncomfortable position, with Crane's blue eyes penetrating her mind.
,, I think you know." he murmured and closed his eyes, tilting his head slightly. It was a dream, it was Raven's dream, so she knew what to do, her body moved where her mind stopped. Crane's soft lips brushed against hers, the feeling of his skin on Raven's felt almost real. He ran his nose up in a line from her lips to her forehead, sending small warm shivers down Raven's cold spine. He moved back down, his beautiful, slightly feminine, eyelashes butterfly kissing her cheeks.
,, Raven..." he whispered huskily as he moved down and buried his face in the crook of her neck, Raven feeling herself being pushed further down the uncomfortable bed, her right wrist still hurting from that stupid cuff. His hands moved down to her waist, holding her so tight it hurt, as if she could break free if he didn't hold her in place. Raven whimpered when Crane's slim fingers dug into her stitches, making her squirm under the painful touch. Crane's lips were still settled on her neck, giving Raven a clear view down to her right side, where she was bleeding through her hospital dress, Crane's fingers forcing the wound more and more open. And then, it weren't her hospital clothes but the clothed she had been wearing that day; her black shirt with the flowing sleeves gathered at the cuffs and her black pinstriped trousers. There was a clean cut in the shirt where the knife had went through, and Raven saw nothing but red when Crane's fingers wrapped around the suture and pulled in from her flesh, making her eyes sting with tears that shouldn't have been there.
,, ... stop...!" she whimpered, the strange mix of pain from his hands and tenderness from his lips throwing her out of balance. Crane pulled back, his cold eyes burning madly at her, like they had that time in the playroom. Raven tried to strike out with her left hand, but her grabbed her by the wrist, holding it so tight Raven could feel it. He grinned at her, madly and cold, fingers forcing her cut to spilt and grow bigger, tearing through her flesh with only the wish to make her hurt...
Raven shot up in the bed, still feeling the wound ache in her memory. She was breaking cold sweat and her sheets felt clammy, but she wished she would feel just a tad of warmth. Her cell was still cold as a grave. She quickly got out of bed, one of the sheets still wrapped around her shuddering body, pacing back and forth in the room to get her blood flowing and get some warmth. Her heart was pounding in her chest, making it feel like Crane was still trying to strangle her. Her feet were bare and quickly grew numb against the cold concrete floor.
Justadream-justadream-justadream-justadream-justadream-just-a-dream...
Her mind tossed the mantra back and forth, as she had been doing when she was a child and had dreams about the Big Bad Wolf, the Thing Under The Bed or the Monster In The Closet.
She let go of the papery sheet and it fell to the floor, then grabbed the trim of her top and pulled it up, looking down to confirm what her mind was trying to convince her was true; nothing had happened, the scar was still there, no sign of fading or changing. She felt ice penetrate her spine when she realised she could not tell which part of the dream had been worst; the part where Crane had tried to turn her inside out, or the part where he had...
Raven shuddered again at the thought.
... kissed her.
Why had she only told him to stop when he was hurting her? It didn't seem right.
,, Fuck..." she breathed and began walking around her cell again, trying to calm herself. She blew at her fingers and wrung her hands, wondering if she would be able to see her own breath if she stood still for a second? When the floor grew too cold for her feet, she pulled on her socks and paced from corner to corner again, convincing herself that dreams are just images, not something be taken...
,, What do you want?"
,, I think you know."
... seriously. Maybe there really was something in the air? Chemicals from the laboratory? Or was she just being paranoid?
Paranoia is a sign of schizophrenia. Raven stopped dead in her tracks. It had been her thought but it had sounded like something ScareCrane would have said.
Great, now I'm going unhinged!
She sat down in a corner and pulled the sheet from the floor around her again, looking like a small ghost, and bit her lower lip. She hated those kinds of dreams! The ones where you had to convince yourself afterwards that it was only pictures in her head.
Now she really had to keep away from Crane.
She felt the blood rush in her cheeks, a mix of rage and embarrassment.
Could she ever look at him again without blushing? And Mr. Analyze Everything Which Stands Still Long Enough would notice her blushing and make up his own little theories. Or, even worse...
Raven felt the cold sweat again, making her freeze even more.
... he would know exactly why she kept away from him…!
Yes, I know; Arkham is getting pretty boring for me as well. And that is why, in the next chapter, a little breakout is going to occur! ;J