Sheldon Two's story
Two Times the Proposal
If you have not read my Big Reversal: The Vixen in 4B, this chapter might be a little difficult. So a quick recap: In that story, Amy moved in across the hall instead of Penny in 2007. The couple danced around their feelings for each for 20 or so chapters. Finally, they were able to admit their feelings and had a spent the night together at a Science conference. No Coitus, however. This picks up right where it left off.
Sheldon Two's back story...
Here is the recap again:
Sheldon One: He is the Sheldon from the Show. This story takes place minutes after the Skype call ended from the Finale.
Sheldon Two: He is from my Big Reversal Theory: The Vixen in 4B story. You will find out how he did with Amy and how their lives are now, 6 years later in this chapter.
Sheldon Three: Let's just call him happy. He is the Sheldon who had a one night stand with Amy after meeting her in the theater.
Sheldon Four: He broke up with Amy over the Table incident in Season 7 and hasn't been with her since.
Sheldon Five: This is the Sheldon from my Caustic Cohabitation Conundrum. He is the one who met Amy when he was 21 at Harvard. This is 15 years later and a lot of changes have happened.
Sheldon Six: Non-believer. His story will unfold later, but he is unlike them all.
It was the night of the Chancellor's awards dinner and Sheldon was as nervous as a new bride. Not because he wasn't deserving of the over due award to honor his genius, but because the public speaking terrified him, even to a group of blow hard lesser minds. At least he had his little lump of wool by his side to keep him steady. They had inseparable since their return from the science conference.
His mind flashed back over the week since he and Amy had returned from San FranciscoInitially he had intended to refuse due to his fear of speaking in public, but during the week that followed, Amy had talked him through his speech and tried to help him overcome his fears so that now he thought that he might be able to get through his whole speech without too much embarrassment or get trampled by the unruly crowd ready to rush the stage to lift Sheldon on their shoulders to praise him. Amy assured him, this would never happen and he calmed.
However the night before, he had lain awake worrying about it. He had thought that after such an exhausting week, that for one night he might be able to sleep without his secret antidote (Amy's warm body), but it was not to be. As with every other night since they had returned, Sheldon had quietly made his way across the hallway to Amy's bed.
One night Leonard caught him, and Sheldon gave some excuse that he was going to the gas station for some late night snack. It seemed Leonard believed him, and Sheldon was able to continue his trek to his vixen's arms. The only problem was, he never asked her for fear she would say no. His clandestine sleepovers were his dirty little secret for a week unbeknownst to her.
On the first night they had returned home from the conference he had realized that he had missed her cherry scented hair, warm embrace and soft breasts nuzzled into his chest.
So he had tip-toed quietly across the hall having long since sprayed WD40 on her hinges thus making sneaking into her apartment child's play. As soon as he opened her bedroom door and gazed at her curled up in bed, he had instantly felt better. Amy was sleeping soundly on the left side of the bed. It was as if she had known he would eventually come and had made room for him.
In fact, he had felt that empty side of the bed was a virtual invitation. Creeping onto the bed, he had crawled under the quilted covers being careful not to wake her. Amy groaned and turned over just as Sheldon laid his head on the empty pillow. She had not woken, but instead had nuzzled onto his chest and fell back asleep with a smile. Sheldon was out like a light in 30 seconds.
This covert action had happened every night since and he had left each morning without disturbing Amy.
The night before the speech, he needed her more than ever. After he woke, he disappeared from her side and returned to his apartment ready to face the day and the crowd.
Sheldon looked smashing in his suit, and Amy all but swooned seeing him dressed so handsomely. They went over the speech on the drive over and Sheldon assured her that he took out the joke about the Chancellor needed a brain scan since he obviously has a blind spot to genius if some loser from Botany won last year.
Sheldon and Amy found a seat at the round table with their friends. They all ate the rubbery chicken dinner and joked around while Sheldon fiddled with his napkins and eyed the exit the door. Only Amy's warm smile and comforting hand on his made him keep to his seat.
Now, it was show time.
Leonard went to the podium to introduce Sheldon, but Leonard's short introductory speech became longer as he gave a heartfelt speech lamenting his mother's lack of nurturing skills.
Sheldon was now sweating bullets. "Oh Amy, I can't do this. No way."
Sheldon started to see white spots and Penny thinking she had the solution handed him a full glass of white wine., "Drink this one, Sheldon, it will help."
Amy snapped at Penny, "I don't think that is good idea Penny, alcohol is not always the answer." She pulled the glass away, and put it back in front of Penny with a glare. She leaned over and whispered to Penny, "Not for Sheldon, ya know?"
Amy looked back at Sheldon who was almost hyperventilating. "Sheldon, you have your speech memorized. Just focus on me, and deliver it like we practiced, you'll be fine. Don't worry, just try and be calm."
Sheldon was anything but calm. He felt the room starting to spin and his stomach did more flips than an Olympic gymnast. He was one minute away from face diving into his rubbery chicken dinner.
Amy grabbed his hands, and held onto them as she asked him, "What is the Dirac equation?"
Sheldon repeated it, and started to draw it out on the back of her hand. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Amy smiled, "Now, what is the average temperature for Perth Australia for the month of April?"
"Umm… 19 Celsius." Sheldon started to calm down.
"Why do you deserve this award?" Amy ran her thumb over his hands softly.
Sheldon puffed his chest out, "Because…."
Amy cut him off, "No.. Don't tell me yet. One more question, why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip… Don't tell me now."
"But Amy…You know I hate to leave things undone."
"Tell me when you get to the podium. Now go." Amy gave him a short kiss on the cheek and released him as soon as his name was announced.
Sheldon shuffled to the stage, shielding his eyes from the harsh lighting. Though he could only see the first 3 rows of people, he knew it was a huge crowd. Once behind the podium, he closed his eyes for one moment, and took a deep breath.
When he opened his eyes, the room was empty and he could only see Amy. "Good evening." Sheldon took a deep swallow, almost gulping his tongue, but then he saw Amy smiling at him. She put her hands under her chin, as if she was hanging onto his every word.
Sheldon bit his lip and said quickly, "I have to get this out…Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side... Bazinga!" He winked at Amy, who couldn't help but blush. The crowd let out a generous giggle.
Sheldon froze for a moment on hearing the laughter. He seemed to be stuck, so Amy mouthed the words, "Humbled… Thank you.. Honored."
Sheldon blinked a few times but again refocused on her mouth as he said robotically, "Thank you all distinguished colleagues oh…and the Geology Department too. I am humbled by your honor and graciously accept your award since you are finally recognizing my genius. I think I understand why it took ya'all so long. It takes a while to focus on a good thing, even when that good thing practically lives across the hall..."
Sheldon's voice became lower and his gaze intensified as he looked at Amy. He now spoke only to her, "You know, sometimes I get unfocused or lost in my own thoughts. But then someone pulls me out of my haze. I have someone who does that for me. She is a beacon for me, guiding me through the miasma of life. I don't know how I would be without her, but I am not willing to find out. "
He smiled at Amy's blushing face and then remembered what he was supposed to be doing, "It shows great intelligence on your part, Chancellor Morton, that you would finally recognize the brilliance that has been sitting under your nose for years. So here's to you! You finally woke up!" Sheldon smiled and raised his award, but Amy shook her head and rubbed her temples. She had hoped he had edited that last part out, but then his speech had been nothing like the one they had practiced. She was just thrilled he got through it relatively unscathed although Chancellor Morton looked a little miffed and whispered something to President Siebert.
Sheldon got off the stage as quickly as he could, almost running to the table to sit down while sporting a cheery smile, as all his friends rose to congratulate him. He leaned over to Amy, and gave her a short kiss on the cheek, as they had always done to say thank you. Amy held her face, unused to affection from Sheldon in public. Even the table hushed as he pulled away and said with deep admiration, "Thank you so much for helping me Amy."
Blushing like a bowl of cherries, Amy said, "Of course, Sheldon."
He gave Amy a relieved smile, and said, "Well… good practice for my first Nobel."
"I'll be there when you get it. Second Nobel... I might be busy..." She winked at him. She could see his face relax Amy beamed at him. Finally, the anxiety filled week was over, she thought.
Later that night, Sheldon thought he could sleep solo, given that the stress of the speech was over he felt that he should be able to return to his normal routine.
However after tossing and turning for hours, he realized his normal routine was now sleeping next to Amy. He couldn't fight it any more than he could stop washing his hands twice before he ate or using 4 napkins for lunch. Although, he was thinking of adding a fifth napkin for emergencies, but that didn't help his dilemma tonight.
Sheldon snuck across the hall and crept into Amy's bed once again. He was just about to close his eyes, when Amy stirred, and blinked her eyes open.
With a kittenish grin she said with a meow, "You're late tonight, cuddles."
It was almost 4:30 in the morning, far later than he normally came. He now knew he had a major problem on his hands: How to get out of trouble.
"Oh… Amy… I just.. um.. noticed that you were… I mean.. I came over here to get my… I left my… OH fiddle sticks!" Sheldon lay on his back and stared at the ceiling knowing full well that the jig was up.
Amy rolled on her side to face him, leaning on her elbow, her head on her hand. "You seemed to have left your excuses across the hall, cuddles." Her apparent mocking only caused Sheldon to grouse.
"Oh Sheldon, stop pouting. I've known you were there the whole week. Well, not the first night, but after that, and if I had had a problem with it, I would have told you. I am just teasing you…" Amy looked at him leaned over and placed a small kiss on his chin.
Sheldon smiled up at her, "You clever little minx, how long were you going to let keep doing this before you mentioned something?"
"I just wanted to see how long you would try to keep it a secret but I have loved sleeping with you." Sheldon turned and pulled Amy closer to him. Holding her body flush with his Amy could feel his arousal. Placing her head on his chest she hid her face saying, "Things are moving so fast between us. I am surprised you are so comfortable with it. Truth is, Sheldon… I am a little terrified."
"Of me?" Sheldon pulled away but Amy reached out her hand for him.
"No, I trust you, that's why I am talking to you about this. I am afraid of going too far, too soon. I am just not ready for that yet. I mean, we've only been a romantic couple for a little more than a week. I expected it would be years before it got this far!"
Sheldon chaffed at the very idea, "Years?! There is not an alternate universe I can fathom that I would wait years to be intimate with you, Amy! That's crazy!"
Amy narrowed her eyes, "A week alone is what is crazy, Sheldon."
Sheldon let out a sigh, "I know. This is pretty new. I just… I don't know why, but I am very comfortable with you. I think with all the sneaking in and sleeping it has made it easier. I didn't have to worry about fulfilling any expectations."
Amy jumped up, "EXACTLY! I don't want to be pressed to fill any expectations! I want things to go naturally, but at a slower pace. Do you understand?"
"I do Amy. I love you, so much that it almost consumes me but I will go at your pace." Then he looked up at her with his large blue eyes that told her everything was okay. "It will our pace, okay?"
"Okay!" Amy was pleased that Sheldon understood her trepidation.
Sheldon wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back down to lay with him on the bed.
He put a small kiss on the top of her head and held her close, "But this sleeping thing is going to kill me, Amy. Can we work something out?"
"Hmm.." Amy turned over so she was flush with his body again, and placed her hands under her chin, "Perhaps we can have scheduled sleep overs?"
Sheldon furled his brow, "Isn't that too juvenile?"
Amy shook her head and with an eye roll said flatly, "Says the man who wears Spiderman underwear." She reach down and snapped his band.
"Fair point, but not underwear, they are underroos. It's underwear that fun to wear."
Amy just smiled, "Proposal: Sleep overs alternate weeks at each other's apartment. Frequency: once a week?"
Sheldon thought about it for all of 3 seconds before he flipped Amy over, and started to undo the top buttons of her nightdress kissing her neck, "Alternate weeks? Amy! I can't wait weeks! I need to sleep! You don't know how it haunts me! Every night I toss and turn…" Sheldon nibbled down her exposed pale neck across her clavicle. "Unable to get a wink of rest…" His hand moved to her breast feeling her nipple harden beneath the soft cloth that covered her.
Sheldon growled, "It's all I can think about." He leaned in and continued to kiss, nibble and taste her, while Amy was practically bucking under his control. "The sleeping thing I mean…"
"Of course, I knew what you meant." Amy winked at him.
"It's torture! And you want me to wait a week? Do you hear yourself woman?"
"Okay…. You win… twice a week. "
Sheldon needed to hatch a plan to get her to agree to more sleep overs because he couldn't fathom sleeping without her. Though he definitely wanted to explore the treasure that was Amy further, it was her warm body next to him that he craved. He needed her cherry scent almost as aroma therapy to complete the day.
No, he thought... twice a week would never do. Sheldon had the knowledge to change unwanted behaviors to make his life easier. He knew that sexual intercourse was a superior way to modify behavior, it was too bad, that Amy had taken coitus off the table in their relationship. However, Sheldon was an excellent negotiator.
"Amy…" He kissed her neck, nibbling on the one spot that almost got her leg to shake. "Amy.. I think we should discuss this coitus off the table notion you have."
"Mmm… I think we can come to some… oh god… type of… arrangement… Oh you're doing that with your hands again.. Oh my." Amy was near panting as his nimble hands massaged her breasts as he gobbled her neck. But she had to stop him, or she would be agreeing to anything, including having sex in Star Wars costumes by the end of the week.
Amy pushed back, and smiled. "Okay, let's talk about it." She got up and donned her robe as an extra precaution.
As Sheldon followed her like a lost puppy he pointed at the bedroom, annoyed, "We could have discussed it back in bed, Amy!"
Amy started to fix breakfast, "I want to negotiate our sleep overs without your thin beckoning lips attached to my Cervical Plexus."
Sheldon leaned forward on the counter with his jaw in one hand and his other making slow circles on the counter. With husky low tone said seductively, "Play your cards right and we'll see how far I can get down your supraclavicular nerves." Sheldon raised his brows again as his eyes moved up and down her body with an evil grin.
"Sheldon! You sit at the table! Keep your wandering eyes and mind to the task at hand: Our intimacy agreement." Amy placed the fruit salad she had prepared in front of him.
Sheldon became focused knowing this was important. "Okay… Let's do this…"
Sheldon's agreement called for sleepovers 7 nights a week. 3 nights PG-13 rated, 4 nights R rated to be raised to NC-17 when both parties were ready for coitus. Sheldon leaned forward and offered Amy a bite of his strawberry.
She shot him a funny look, took the piece of fruit, and then countered with sleepovers 3 nights a week. 2 nights PG 13 one night R, with NC 17 possible in 3 months with both parties agreeing to birth control method.
Sheldon was pleased she was such a good planner for birth control, but three months seemed like an eternity. The worse part was only 3 nights. No way could he agree to that.
"Okay… I will leave birth control under your discretion. I mean, most methods effect your body, not mine, thank goodness, unless you just want to use condoms, and that seems… so…. I don't know.."
Amy scrunched up her face. The idea of condoms was not appealing to her for some reason, "Like horny college students or water balloon fights. Besides they break, fall off… Yuck."
"Yes. I think yuck is the clinical term. However, the other mess… will be yucky as well." Sheldon blushed as red as the strawberry he was holding.
Amy sat back in her chair, and tapped her chin, "True, we will have to see how things go concerning that. Once we have coitus, I think showers will be required if we do not use condoms. I will get on the pill. Or get shots. It will affect my menstruation cycle."
"Oh dear lord, I forgot about that!" Sheldon dropped his strawberry and his fork.
"Well, No intimacy during…" Amy cut off by Sheldon yelling out in fear.
"We still can sleep together, right? I don't want to be out of my sleep partner just because she is hopped up on girly juice!"
Amy rolled her eyes, "Of Course, Sheldon! Besides, Birth control needs time to be effective. Also, three months is good waiting period for us, agreed?" Sheldon thought this was acceptable and gave him time to do much needed research if he was going to be a sex god.
"Agreed. However, 3 nights only for sleep overs? Unacceptable." Sheldon crossed his arms.
"4 nights. 2 PG 13, 2 R Rated."
"7 nights. 4 PG-13 Sunday-Thursday. 3 nights R Rated." He leaned forward to feed her a blueberry off his plate.
Amy licked it off his fingers, and then smiled. "While I agree that weekends are a preferred time for more intense physical relations, I do not want to be constrained by days of the week. 6 nights. 3 PG 13… 3 R rated."
Amy purposely dropped her napkin off the table, bent down to get it slowly making sure her posterior was within Sheldon's view point. If Sheldon wanted to play the positive reinforcement game, Amy could use her own negotiation methods.
"What..ever… You want.. Amy… Blueberry?" Sheldon smiled.
Amy stood up, and bent leaned over to pluck the blueberry off Sheldon's fingers with her lips. She licked the tips slightly as she pulled back, but she didn't get very far. Sheldon tugged her onto his lap and dove into her mouth retrieving the taste of the fruit that he had tempted her with. He began to nibble again on that tender spot on her neck he loved so much.
Their make out session was ended far too quickly when the phone rang at the ungodly hour of 9 AM. Amy was a lissome mass of nerves and Sheldon wasn't much better. Amy would have ignored the call, but Sheldon's twitching at the unanswered ringing meant that that was not an option. Amy recognized Leonard's number when she picked up her phone.
"Hello Amy? Is Sheldon there?"
"Yes. He um…came over earlier to umm… have breakfast… Oh ..god…" Now that the ringing had stopped, Sheldon could now concentrate on the business in hand and was sucking on Amy's neck near the point her carotid artery disappeared behind her ear.
Leonard cleared his throat, "Okay…I figured he was there since he has been sneaking over to your place every night for the past week."
Amy giggled, "He thought he was so clever."
"Telling me he went over to the Gas station at midnight? Sheldon? Please… Anyway… Tell him his phone rang at 7:30 AM."
"Okay…" Amy hung up as she pushed Sheldon off her with a playful nudge, "Your roommate, who, by the way, knew that you have been over here every night, says you received a phone call at 7:30 this morning. Do you think it's something important?"
Sheldon shook off his arousal, for the moment, "Well, Texas is 2 hours ahead. It could be mom. I better go check." Sheldon was suddenly worried.
"I'm sure it's nothing. Don't fret!" Amy put her hand on his cheek and kissed him on the other before Sheldon quickly went across the hall to retrieve his phone.
"Who was it Sheldon?" Amy asked when he had returned.
"No one important… So… Should we go back to bed?" Sheldon raised his brows suggestively, but Amy knew he was fibbing.
"Sheldon…"
Sheldon slumped his shoulders, "Oh alright.. It was president!"
Amy furled her brow, "Obama?" Amy grabbed his phone to look at the number, it was a local area code.
"NO! Besides, I am blacklisted from working on government projects, remember? It was just President Siebert."
Amy nodded, "Oh, far more important. Boy, it must be urgent for him to call so early. You better call back straight away."
Sheldon wasn't in the mood to call anyone. He wanted to go back to bed and continue his breakfast of Fowler and, if he could persuade her, a side of naked Amy. However, Amy insisted and handed him back his phone.
"Fine!" Sheldon dialed back the number begrudgingly. He thought the president would want to congratulate him again on winning the award, but it was more serious call:
"Hello President Seibert. Yes… I'm glad you enjoyed my speech. Oh the Chancellor did as well? I'm not surprised… Dr. Fowler…. Thank you, yes, she is remarkable. No.. Not yet, sir, but that is in the planning stages as we speak. Yes, it would be wonderful, sir." Sheldon blushed and turned as if trying to hide the phone from Amy.
Amy thought to herself, what was Sheldon planning that would be wonderful?
Sheldon continued to speak with Seibert but his voice changed as the conversation lingered, "Monday? Can't you tell me now? PLEASE! I'll come to your house and ask you later then… What? Oh good. Yes, are you sure your daughter would hate to meet me, I don't know why. I am a delight. Oh the news, yes.. what is it? Okay… Oh that project. Really? Oh… for how long? Really? Okay… I'm… I um… Yes. A great honor. Thank you."
Sheldon hung up the phone but he didn't look pleased. Amy sat by him on the couch concerned and reached out for his hand.
"What is it, Sheldon?"
"Um… Do you remember the grant proposal I submitted to the National Science Foundation to detect slow-moving monopoles at the magnetic North Pole?"
"Yes, I helped you with the grammar …"
Sheldon glowered at Amy remembering her finding the one and only mistake he had made in grammar in 15 years, "That sentence was fine, you were just being nitpicky! Anyway, dangling participles aside, the president was so pleased that I won the Chancellor award that when space opened up on NSF expedition to the Arctic Circle, he wanted to send me. It seems Geology was set to go, but they said they would be happy to wait a year if it meant sending me. How thoughtful of them." Sheldon's voice trailed off. If he wasn't so distraught, his attempt at sarcasm would have pleased him.
Amy's face grew ghostly white at the thought of Sheldon being away, "Um… How long would you be gone?"
Sheldon matched her countenance and hue, "Three months."
Amy stumbled back into her chair. Three months? She had seen him every day for almost a year and half, how could she live for three months without her sweet baboo, just when she was getting used to his warm tempting body? They had just worked out sleep overs and even rated M nights, and now it was taken away with one call.
Amy shook off her own selfish reasons for asking him to say no. The thought standing in the way of Sheldon's career was the quickest way to get on the bad girlfriend list. She had to be strong, and support him, no matter how much it ripped out her gut and buried it.
Amy gave a forced smile, "Well. You would be on the cutting edge of science." Amy got up quickly to fetch another cup of tea. She was shaking from the news, but knew she would not stand in Sheldon's way of his Nobel.
"Amy… I can't sleep one night without you now, how am I going to sleep for three months?" He came up behind her and held her by the waist. "I can't go."
Sheldon had been waiting for this chance to prove his theory, and this was it. But how could he possibly be away from his little lump of wool for three months? He was addicted to her warm body next to him as he was to any drug. There was no way he could go, but his girlfriend seemed to have other ideas.
Amy turned around and held on to his shoulders, "Look, I will not be the cause of you missing this opportunity. You will resent me for it, and when we are old and grey, you will be like, "…and you never let me go to the North Pole, or I would have that Nobel Prize…. Blah blah blah." Amy's impression of Sheldon's whining was spot on, forcing a small smile from him.
"You see us old and grey together?" Sheldon held onto her hips and pulled back, trying to visualize a grey haired old Amy Farrah Fowler fixing tea and correcting his grammar. The image gave him comfort beyond what he expected, and if he had believed in coincidences, he would have felt it strange that Amy had expressed that thought just after President Siebert had asked him on the phone if he was married to Amy.
Amy smirked and nuzzled into this chest, "Only if you stop reciting pi to our waiters."
Sheldon pulled back to defend his completely reasonable actions, "It was pi day… There was pie… what was supposed to do?" "
"Oh Sheldon. I'm going to miss you so much." Amy dove back into his chest and held onto him with a grip so tight he could barely speak. He only wished it was tighter.
Three Months Later….
Knock knock knock, "Amy"
Knock knock knock, "Amy"
Knock knock knock, "Amy"
Amy quickly opened the door and saw standing before her, a bearded Sheldon Cooper. She wanted to hug him the instant she saw him, to bring his body to hers and not let him go, but before she could bring him into her arms, the three other men reached to top of the stairs with all their equipment to ruin the moment. Amy was distracted by the bearded crew and knowing that Sheldon didn't like maudlin displays of emotions in public, she stepped back silently inviting him into her apartment, but Sheldon never took his eyes off Amy.
"Sheldon I am so glad you are back… I… I just…"
Sheldon didn't wait for her to finish, or say another word. He stepped toward her and in one motion, wrapped his arms around her body and nuzzled in her neck. Once Sheldon smelt the intoxicating aroma of cherries, he felt he was home. The only thing that would make it better would be if he could hold her in his spot. It was then he realized, she was his spot, his center of contentment and he never wanted to leave it again.
Amy had waited 3 months to feel his arms around her, though they had Skyped and talked about the experiment and lack of results, they had not spoken of anything personal due to the lack of privacy, and now that he was here, she was suddenly shy. She pulled away and walked towards the kitchen "You must be thirsty after your long journey, would you like a hot beverage?"
Sheldon looked at her puzzled as she walked to the kitchen not understanding why she had not returned his embrace, but answered, "Yes that would be nice"
As Amy busied herself with the kettle she asked, "How did your experiments go, it's been a while since we spoke, have you had any better results"
Sheldon though confused about Amy's apparently cold manner, continued to answer her questions. "Unfortunately no, though those three degenerates did try to pull the wool over my eyes by trying to falsify some results. Just because I tried to destroy Howard's Neil Diamond CD collection – boy he was driving me crazy playing them over and over again" Sheldon didn't want to tell Amy that one particular song 'Hello Again' reminded him too much of her.
They both sat down, and could only seem to exchange the idle chit chat of friends. For the first time in his life Sheldon had not achieved what he had wanted to, but what was worst, Amy knew of his failure – he was embarrassed and did not want to talk about it. Yet Amy was so proud of him. He had gone to the North Pole, lived in the wild, tested his theories, and had survived without killing his three tedious roommates. Yet he refused to open up further about his experiences, she was hurt and confused that he was guarded.
Eventually Sheldon stated that he should be getting back to his apartment to unpack and get cleaned up. Amy nodded as she took his cup from him and watched him go out her door.
The following few days saw them get back to some form of normalcy as Amy slowly overcame her initial shyness to the stage where they were back to sleeping together, though neither had yet had the courage to initiate the make out sessions that they had enjoyed before Sheldon had gone to the North Pole.
Amy's apparent reticence to move forward in their relationship was starting to worry Sheldon. He was concerned that his absence had lessened Amy's feeling for him, and Amy was now starting to worry if he loved her at all. Neither one dared to speak about it, fearing the truth would be aired. Once again, their lack of communication was the barrier between them, that only they could crack.
By the end of the week, the guys had made the decision to take Sheldon to the comic book to get him out of his funk. Sheldon begrudgingly agreed, after all, who turns down a trip to the comic book store? Also they had told him that Wil Wheaton would be there as he was signing up for Mystic Lords of Ka'ah tournament being arranged by Stuart for the following week.
Sheldon had met Wil when he was 11 and he signed his mint in box action figure. He now hoped that Wil Wheaton would recognize him. Unfortunately Wil didn't remember him, but Sheldon was a fan, and Wil loved his fans.
Wil put a smile on his face and worked the crowd. He sat next to Leonard, who was keen to chat about his relationship with Penny, an aspiring actress who had just auditioned for a new movie. Leonard finding an apparently sympathetic ear then opened his heart and confessed that he had strong feelings for Penny, but she seemed reluctant to commit to him, though he knew she cared for him.
Wil Wheaton was a little embarrassed by Leonard's almost tearful story, but related an experience of his own "Look, I am not saying this is how it is with you guys, but I dated this one girl, and I told her that I loved her, and she said she wasn't sure. And she strung me along for almost two years saying she wasn't ready for a commitment. It was brutal. We broke up, and two weeks later, she was engaged to some dentist."
Leonard sniffed into his hankie, "A Dentist?"
"Yep… from Encino…Just be prepared if she drops the boom, pal. You never know…" Wil gave Leonard a sympathetic pat on the arm and walked away leaving Leonard to question his relationship with Penny.
Sheldon had overheard everything Wil had said, and his face grew pale as he thought over the week's events. Could it be that he loved Amy more she loved him? Why had she been so cold when he got back? Yes they were sleeping together, but the intimacy they had previously shared seemed to be missing.
He wondered if perhaps he was more committed to the relationship than she was. He needed to get out, go somewhere quiet to think this fabricated dilemma through.
As he blindly walked up the cold Pasadena streets, unwelcome thoughts rushed through his mind. He had a flash of doubt that Amy didn't love him. How could it be, he pondered…He just couldn't understand how anyone could not love him. He was a joy to be around! He thought to himself, "I am Brilliant! Fun! A little needy perhaps. Occasionally, I might be caught up in my own thoughts, sure… Once and while, a slight bit condescending. Egoistical. Dismissive. Thoughtless. A Failure. Not even able to prove my theory,. Oh drats, he thought, she MIGHT break up with me…
Finally he ended up at the bar of the Cheesecake factory. He had never thought he'd end up here. Not in a million years. Not because it was a bar, although that was out of character, but because he had been aiming for Los Robles.
Penny was shocked when she saw Sheldon shuffle through the tables to mosey up to the bar where she was serving, "WOW, Sheldon… What brings you here? "
"I got troubles Penny…" Sheldon slumped on the bar and put his hands in his lap and pouted.
Penny couldn't get a read on Sheldon, but she knew things were on edge from Amy's description. Amy had told her how excited she had been for Sheldon's return. In fact, it was the ONLY thing Amy talked about for three months.
During his absence Amy showed up one day at Penny's apartment with a collection of books as tall as she was. Amy was convinced she needed to be a sexpert for Sheldon's sake. Not only had she asked Penny to tell her everything she knew about sex, but she also had a list of questions, some of which Amy showed her from the books, that made even experienced Penny blush. They had watched far too many soft porn movies and ate far too many bananas for Penny's taste.
Once Sheldon came home, Penny had expected Amy to be walking funny for a week. The failed experiment seemed to have put a damper on things, however it now appeared to be more of a cold shower. Seeing Sheldon so despondent was a puzzle, and just like the boxes Amy hid all those bananas in, Penny was bound and determined to figure this one out.
"What's the problem, slim?"
Sheldon snorted and turned up his nose, "I can't talk to you! You're one of them."
"One of who?"
"It's WHOM."
"I don't know, who is it?" Penny was getting nowhere fast.
"Women! All the troubles of the world stem from your kind, that's what daddy said. That and don't gamble on a terminally ill horse. That's what I am doing, Penny. Putting all my eggs in a poorly constructed basket. Should have been the hat I made with Amy at the Folk art Museum."
Sheldon was lost in a sea of analogies and Penny was trying to send up a life preserver. "I'm sure you and Amy can work it all out… Here, have an orange juice. It will make you feel better." Penny had put a little bit of Vodka in the OJ to help Sheldon loosen his tongue.
"One glass of fruit juice squeezed from your burly hands won't cure my ill's Penny!"
"Sure it will! It will keep me from using my burly hands on your neck. Drink!"
Sheldon backed off a little but was still in no mood for Penny's brand of humor, that is if she was joking … "Really?! Never go into the medical profession selling your false tonics." He looked at his sad orange drink and looked up at her with big blue eyes, "Um… you got any maraschino cherries?"
Penny threw about three cherries in his drink, "Don't worry about that, who would hire me to sell drugs?" Sheldon threw back the drink like it was in shot glass, "Woah… slow down, Sheldon."
"I drink OJ all the time, I think I know what I am doing… Hit me with another. More cherries this time…"
Penny poured another glass with a double shot, "So, ready to tell me now?" She handed him the glass with a smirk.
"NO! I'm not…" Sheldon downed the drink in one gulp. "Okay, I'm ready… get this… I am going to break up with Amy before she breaks up with me. SHHH! Give me another."
Penny was so shocked by the news that she didn't watch her pouring arm. She handed him the drink and asked, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
"Really? Have you heard some of the things you say?"
"YES!... But Sheldon, Amy is the best girlfriend you will ever have. Give me one good reason why you would break up with her?"
"She doesn't love me as much as I love her." He calmly said as he handed back his empty glass, "Another OJ please."
"Horse Hockey!" Penny poured him another, not as strong but the damage was done, "Here's your drink."
Sheldon guzzled down his drink like a sailor on shore leave, then with glossy eyes and slurring words, "Penny… Penny… Penny… You don't understand, cause you and Little Leonard are fine… Just…F…I …N... Something like that. More OJ!"
Penny shook her head, "Oh boy, Amy was right, you are a lightweight." She ignored his request and picked up her phone to text Amy.
"Why would she do that, Sheldon? She is crazy about you. You can't get her to shut up about you. Believe me, I tried… For three months… I tried…" Penny stuffed her phone in her pocket. Amy was on her way, but not soon enough.
Sheldon looked away, despondent, "I'm a callous egomaniac I'm gonna lose her…"
"No, you're not… well not callous anyway… Hey where are you going?" Sheldon grabbed the first bottle he could reach, which was a bottle of Southern Comfort, and took a big swig.
"Oh, that is not a comfort to a Southern, let me tell ya!" He stumbled over to the keyboard and microphone with his bottle in hand.
He tapped on the microphone "Hello Folks…. Sheldon Cooper here. Yes.. thank you… Thank you… Tip your waitresses. Now..for your dining pleasure, here is a little diddy I've been singing all summer… "HELLLO AGAIN….HELLO! JUST CALLED TO SAY… HELLLO!"
Penny thought to herself as she checked her phone again, "Holy crap on a cracker… Amy better get here quick!"
About 10 minutes later, Amy rushed into the restaurant to find Sheldon and a table of Japanese business men belting out the lyrics Love on the Rocks…
First, they say they want you
How they really need you
Suddenly you find you're out there
Walking in a storm
The Japanese business men added the next part in a chorus.
When they know they have you
Then they really have you
Nothing you can do or say
You've got to leave, just get away
We all know the song.."
Amy went over to Penny, "What the heck happened?"
"Well… I thought he needed to loosen up. I didn't realize he was already half there. But the crowd loves him!" Penny had been enjoying Sheldon's singing, which given his inebriated state, wasn't half bad. She had been recording the whole evening to show Leonard. Little did she know, the best was still to come.
Amy was about to take Penny's phone away, but felt that Sheldon's caterwauling was a bigger priority.
She slowly walked over to him as if approaching a deer in the wood and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. Sheldon looked up with reddened eyes, "Hello again… HELLO!"
Amy smiled and brushed his hair off his forehead, "Sheldon what is going on?"
"You're gonna leave me… cause I'm not provable. I don't have tangible results! Like monopoles!… cause Wil Wheaton says so…"
"Wil Wheaton, what are you talking about?" Amy whispered in his ear, "Sheldon, the only proof I need is how I feel when I think of you. My love for you isn't a theory…It's a law proven time and time again. Now come on… let's go home…We'll talk about what upset you so much tomorrow."
Sheldon swayed with a sleepy smile, "Okay…smart Amy." He tapped her head.
Sheldon twirled around and bent his head to microphone, "Sorry, folks I gotta go, here's my ride! But I will come back next week and we discuss higher dimensional thinking in so far as it relates to pants. Maybe I can show you now!" Sheldon tried to take off his pants, but he just twisted around.
Amy knew this would lead somewhere bad, or naked, "NO! Sheldon, leave your pants out of it. Come home with me." She snuggled up to him to get him moving and his hand off the pants, "Sing to me at home."
Sheldon took his hand off his belt, "Okay…Amy…" He got on the microphone again before he left, "Folks…Thisss here is Dr. Amy.. Farrah.. Fowler. She's a peach, folks. Ain't she great?"
The group of drunk business men all raised their glasses and yelled, "To Amy!"
Amy was mortified, "Sheldon... Please..."
Before Amy could say another word she felt a swift twinging pain on her backside as Sheldon swatted her behind with enough force that the crowd heard the impact like a canon blast along with a squeal from Amy.
"Sheldon!"
Sheldon's biggest mistake came next and it would be quite a while before he recovered. He grabbed three things: The microphone, an onion ring off the Japanese businessman's plate and Amy's back side.
Amy let out another squeal which made Sheldon giggle. "God I love that sound. I love every sound from you, little lady." Sheldon got on one knee, and held up the onion ring.
"Amy…You're the best thing that ever… I saw… I think.. Yes.. So let's put on this ring, go down to the court house?" He blinked a few times and swayed while on his knee.
"Are you asking me to marry you? WITH AN ONION RING?" Amy's face was now burning red with embarrassment and fury. Sheldon didn't notice.
"Well, the curly fries had ketchup on them!" Sheldon rose up off his knees, and smiled as he swayed.
"Sheldon, we will discuss this tomorrow!" Amy took off the onion ring, but Sheldon shoved it in his coat pocket.
"Sounds like a yes to me, right folks!?" Sheldon looked around the room, but the only ones cheering were the Japanese business men. Penny almost dropped the phone she was holding.
Sheldon believing himself to be the romantic god he was, continued, "Now, how's about you grab that bottle and we high tail it outta here, Future MRS. Dr. Cooper!" Sheldon grabbed Amy by the waist and dipped her down to kiss her in front of the whole crowd, some of which were now clapping or gasping. Sheldon brought Amy back up for air, held onto her hand with a tight grip as he stumbled toward the door with Amy in tow.
Though Amy was furious, she knew she would have to hold in her rage till he sobered up, then he would get a full dose of Amy's wrath. She hid a smile that he even wanted to marry her, but the onion ring ruined the joy.
As they exited the Cheesecake factory, Sheldon saw a liquor store realized that he no longer had his bottle of Southern Comfort.
"Amy… what would it take for you to go into that liquor store, buy a bottle of hooch, take me across the street to that motel, and have your way with me?"
Amy pulled him toward the car roughly, "Sheldon! I'm begging you, Please! Let's go home!"
"Fine! But you are not very good at comforting Southerns, little lady!" Sheldon snorted and slumped in the car.
After navigating Sheldon's seat belt, Amy had a hard time keeping his hands off her while she drove home. However, walking him up the stairs was a different manner. Sheldon wanted Amy to walk ahead so he could watch her hips move. Amy finally got him to his room, and tucked into bed, fighting his wandering hands the whole time.
Around 7:30 AM, Amy woke up in her own bed with Sheldon wrapped around like a ribbon. He was only wearing his briefs and sleepy smile. At least, she thought, the Cheesecake Factory didn't get the floor show he had planned.
She tried to pull herself away from Sheldon, but he pulled her back, and nestled into her chest, "Mmm, cherries…"
"Oh boy." Amy wasn't able to pull away from sleepy Sheldon for another hour. Finally she was able to get up, and start a kettle. About 10 minutes later, Sheldon came out of the bedroom wearing Amy's grandmother's robe that Howard had worn with Cousin Irene. It fit him like a mini skirt.
Amy let out a giggle, "I thought I burned that after Howard's dalliance."
"Shhh… Yes… It's an abomination." Sheldon looked a fright, with his hands on his ears and a face of shear pain, "Why are you hammering things in here Amy?" He let out a pained groan.
Amy looked around the kitchen. The only sound was from the kettle and Sheldon's moaning, "I'm not hammering. Do you mean the kettle percolating?"
"Yes, make it stop, for sake of all humanity. Make it stop!"
Amy had to laugh. Sheldon was such a lightweight, but it was good thing he didn't drink that often or he'd be naked and married to god who knows, "Sheldon, drink this water, and take these. Now go sit on the bar stool. We have to talk."
Sheldon downed the water and pills, "Talk? Right? Not yell… Like you're doing now?"
"Sheldon, I am not yelling, but what were you thinking? Why did you get so drunk? Singing Love on the Rocks? That song is only for the most dire emergencies!"
Sheldon mumbled in his tea, "I was going to break up with you."
Amy sucked her top teeth and crossed her arms. She raised her voice slightly, "OH REALLY NOW? DO TELL!"
"Amy! Please! No Yelling! And your shirt is too bright, again." Sheldon held his head so the jack hammers would stop.
He continued, with a soft pained voice, "Now that the alcohol has worked its way through my addle mind, I can see that was an erroneous decision."
"Damn right buddy." Amy was still cross, but the sight of sullen Sheldon was too much to resist. "You would have regretted it ya know."
"I already do. BELIEVE ME!"
He looked at the counter and saw a very smushy onion ring. He was confused why Amy would have trash on the counter, since she was as clean as he was. "Amy… why do you have… what appears to be an onion ring on the counter?"
Amy bent her head down an inspected the item like a jeweler, "Oh, that's my engagement ring! The girls will be so jealous."
Sheldon swallowed any moisture in his mouth and looked up at Amy with reddened eyes, "Excuse me?"
"Don't tell me you don't remember? Here… Penny recorded it…" Amy had her laptop out and connected to Youtube.
"Oh god no…" Sheldon held his breath as she started the video.
"Oh yes…" Amy tilted the computer toward him and he watched in horror as he belted out Neil Diamond and swatted Amy's backside with a large thud.
"Oh dear lord, Amy I am so sorry!" He moaned again, this time from embarrassment, "This cannot get anymore humiliating…"
Amy pulled in her lips to stop her laugh, "It can…Just watch…"
Sheldon viewed the big finish as he proposed to the love of his life with a deep fried vegetable. He looked at Amy in horror and stammered, "I didn't!"
"You did!" Amy smirked, "Don't feel bad. The video only had 50,000 views. Oh, and because you said my name, I've received over 150 emails. 75 said to say yes. 65 of them think I should break up with you. 10 offered their hands in marriage instead. I even got picture of various men's body parts as proof of their sexual virility!"
Sheldon shrieked, "You didn't answer them did you?" Amy dead pan expression told him he better not ask again, "I guess not…"
"Oh Amy!" Sheldon threw his head in his hands and let out a long shrill sigh. "How can you ever forgive me?"
Amy thought she had teased him enough. She ran her hand over his head, combing his hair with her fingers, "Oh my sweet baboo, I already have. I know you didn't mean it…"
Sheldon put his head up and said with all the confidence in the world, "Oh, I meant it. Just not like that!"
Amy stopped breathing for a moment and dropped her jaw. Sheldon was confused by her reaction. "Amy? Are you breathing?"
Now it was Amy's turn to stammer, "You… um… wwwant to mmmarry me?"
"Of course! It's a natural progression of our relationship. We have a five year time line, but I think we should move it up. Do you want to wait for coitus till our wedding night?"
"Our…time line? What?"
Sheldon forced the eye roll back, but it was difficult. "Amy. We are compatible, given our new sleeping and intimacy arrangement, we are practically living together."
Amy found her voice, "Sheldon! We've only been dating for three months, for most of which you were in the North pole! Wait…are you asking me just so we will have sex?"
Sheldon sucked in his bottom lip and then said quietly, "NO…no… not per say…"
Amy's eyes narrowed to slits. Sheldon instinctively backed away from her but there was no escaping her glare. She drew in a long breath, then another. Then with a low husky voice, she spoke slowly so Sheldon would understand every word," Sheldon Cooper, I am going to say this as calmly as I can. This is not how you propose. AT ALL. No drunken after thoughts, no time lines, although… that's not half bad idea… But certainly NO ONION RINGS. UGH!"
The volume on her voice was raised to ear deafening decibels. "The next time you think you want to propose, you better think long and hard on it! Do you get it!?" Amy stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door.
Sheldon winced at the sound echoing through the apartment and looked down at the onion ring again.
"Okay… that I got…"
Six months later…
Amy and Sheldon were back stage waiting in the green room for the guest of honor to make an appearance. Getting Sheldon through the crowd had been difficult, but he was trooper. He had a goal in mind, and the stage was set. He felt his pocket for the 100th time that night. He still had the ring he obtained 5 months and 25 days ago and this time, it didn't smell like onions.
Amy's face hurt from smiling. Not only had Sheldon, of his own accord, asked her to a Neil Diamond concert, he even got back stage passes. Amy had to remind herself not to lock her knees. She was a level beyond giddy, beyond elated. She was nearly at the same level of happiness she had felt after she and Sheldon had made love the first time four months ago. Nearly, but not quite.
Sheldon slumped down where he was standing, and started to whine, "How long does it take to get off stage? Does he have to pick up ALL that used underwear? I'll tell ya Amy, there is no way I am shaking his hand. Not without evidence of a thorough hand washing and a blood test confirming he doesn't have Hep C. "
"SHELDON! Neil Diamond doesn't have Hep C! And those panties are not used. Well… Mine was, but I don't think the other ladies have my forethought or frugality. Now be nice, you promised!"
"I can't believe you threw your underwear at another man! That was a gross violation of the relationship agreement!"
"Hey I didn't touch him! Just my unmentionables. Besides, there is nothing in the relationship agreement about throwing undergarments to the opposite sex!"
"One minute with my Ipad, and there will be little lady. Just you wait and see!"
"Just be nice, and I won't give him my bra, okay?"
"WHAT?!" Just as Amy said that, Neil Diamond and his entourage entered the room. He was much older than the pictures Amy had as her screen saver, but Sheldon did agree, he did look like the the physicist Feymann.
Mr. Diamond had to shake a few VIP's hands before he got to the couple. Finally, he walked over to Amy and Sheldon and offered his hand. Sheldon hid his under his arms, but Amy took it in both of hers.
"Hello you two! Nice to finally meet the man you can belt out Hello Again as well I can!" Neil smiled. It seemed that Sheldon's little failed marriage proposal had turned him into an internet celebrity. The video had more hits than the kid who drugged after the dentist. Neil Diamond had heard and seen the drunken serenade and had written to Sheldon to offer him tickets. Sheldon took a step further and asked for a favor.
Neil smiled at Amy, "Well, there she is. Tell me, has he offered any more appetizers to you?"
"No… Neil.. Mr. Diamond… I just…" Amy almost fainted, but Sheldon caught her.
"We better speed this up, or she will throw her brazier at you."
"Oh damn… Okay…" Neil gave Sheldon and wink and stepped back leaving Sheldon stood by her side. Confused, Amy looked to Sheldon for an explanation, but he grasped Amy's hands, and licked his lips.
"This is what I should have said to you six months ago." Sheldon smiled nodded to Neil who started to sing
Say that you'll marry me
Sometimes carry me
And I will be there forever more
For you
Sheldon took out the ring he had asked his mother for over five months earlier. He slipped it on her finger while she was still finding words. Neil Diamond kept singing.
Promise you'll stay with me
We'll make some memories
And maybe a dream or two will come true
Who knows?
Amy gasped and threw her arms around the man whose words just pierced her heart. Neil Diamond nearly choked against Amy tight grip. Then she got some composure, and remembered, it was Sheldon whom had asked her. Without a second to spare she grabbed Sheldon face and peppered him with kisses saying yes with each one.
Finally Amy hugged Sheldon with the strength of wrestler, and he put his arms around her while he spoke to Neil Diamond standing behind him, "I think the song was too much…"
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into the life of Sheldon Two. Next up, the Sheldon's react to Sheldon's Two's tale.
Again, thank you for your support and reviews. I love to hear what you think about the story, or anything! Thanks again!