Chapter 7 is here! Sorry for the wait! (I feel like that's all I ever say in this space)

Things get bad from here D:

"Have you told her yet?" Kurt asked eagerly as he met Blaine by his locker at lunch on Monday morning. Blaine frowned and shifted his eyes from side to side.

"Told who what?" He asked confused. Kurt sighed in frustration.

"Brittany!" He exclaimed and Blaine immediately understood.

"Oh…no not yet," he said sheepishly, bringing a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. The gel he was forced to wear to keep his hair tamed was beginning to itch. Kurt looked at him disapprovingly.

"Blaine!" he scolded.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to her all day!" Blaine defended himself, "I don't think she recognizes me," he said as an afterthought. "Principle Figgins even thought I was a new transfer student this morning! Do I really look that different?"

"Blaine, you have to tell her," Kurt urged, ignoring Blaine's attempt at changing the subject.

"I know! And I will, I just need to think of a way to break it to her gently," he said as they started walking towards the cafeteria.

"She's sitting over there with Quinn and Santana," Kurt said, nodding towards the table with the three cheerleaders. He'd learned the girls' names from Blaine who'd been spending far too many stolen moments beside his locker with them. "Go and break it to her now," Kurt demanded, giving Blaine a small push towards them.

"I can't do it with them there, they'll skin me alive! Do you know how protective Santana is over Brittany?" Blaine whined.

"It'll be much worse if she finds out you're leading her on," Kurt sighed, grimacing at the thought of what Santana would do. From the few occasions he had spoken to her, it had become obvious that she was brutal and ruthless. "Just get it over with." Kurt knew he was being overly pushy in getting Blaine to break things off with Brittany. He couldn't deny that the sooner Blaine did it, the better he would feel but also because Blaine had said himself that he wasn't interested in her, so why should he continue to date her? He pushed Blaine in the direction of the girls, "come meet me when you're done," he said as he went to pick up some food for the both of them and find an empty table.

He sat down and watched out of the corner of his eye the exchange. Blaine was clearly nervous, he could see that much. He gestured with his hands a lot which was something he knew Blaine did whenever he wanted to avoid talking about something.

He forked a piece of pasta into his mouth and chewed slowly as he watched. Santana was very obviously glaring at him furiously and he took that to mean he'd told her. Smiling to himself a little, he managed to eat a little more at ease. Blaine was his again. He knew it was selfish and probably more than a little unfair to Blaine but he couldn't help it. His friendship with Blaine meant the world to him, they were closer than most boys were with their girlfriends and the thought made Kurt's stomach squirm though he wasn't sure if it was with pleasure or unease. It was clear that he had feelings for Blaine and it hurt to think of him being affectionate with anyone else but what could he do? Blaine might be his again but it wouldn't be for much longer. Sooner or later Blaine would find a girl more suited to his tastes and then what?

Kurt wasn't sure how it happened but he went from being overly satisfied to incredibly depressed in the space of two minutes. This was exactly why he tried to avoid being alone with his thoughts.

Eventually Blaine returned, though he looked more nervous than when Kurt had pushed him to speak to Brittany.

"What?" Kurt asked with uncertainty when Blaine slumped in the chair opposite him. "What did you say?"

"I agreed to go to that party next Saturday…"

"Blaine!" Kurt scolded, giving him a fierce glare but Blaine refused to meet his eyes.

"I know!" He groaned as his head came down onto the table. "I'm bad at this sort of thing, okay?" Kurt crossed his arms disapprovingly feeling his heart sitting in his stomach.

"So what happened?" he asked, a little more sympathetically.

"Well…I wanted to ease it into the conversation but the longer we sat talking the harder it got to bring it up. Then Santana kept giving me this weird look when I told her I wasn't going to the party and I panicked okay! Santana scares me!" Blaine said, still not meeting Kurt's gaze. Kurt sighed because Blaine was just utterly hopeless.

Blaine started sulkily eating the pasta that Kurt had picked up for him in silence.

"Are you okay?" Kurt eventually asked when they'd nearly finished eating without another word spoken between them. The only time Blaine was ever silent was when something was wrong and he had a feeling it was something more than what had just happened with Brittany. Blaine briefly glanced up before stabbing the last of his pasta.

"'M fine," he mumbled but this just confirmed Kurt's thoughts.

"You know, what you said to me yesterday goes both ways right? You can tell me anything, Blaine," Kurt said softly as he leaned forward, eyebrows creasing with worry. Blaine glanced up at him in what looked like scowl.

"Why should I when you won't even tell me what's wrong with you?" Blaine snapped suddenly, Kurt's eyes widened in hurt and disbelief as he sank back into his chair. Blaine floundered as he opened and closed his mouth, wishing that he could just take it back. "Kurt, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he said. Kurt folded his arms and looked down at the floor. When did they start keeping secrets from each other? "Kurt…?" Blaine said uneasily.

"It's fine." Kurt replied, shaking his head slightly. "I get it." He could feel Blaine scrutinizing him but couldn't tear his gaze away from the ground. Kurt hadn't even come out yet and already it was putting a strain on their friendship. "I'm sorry," Kurt whispered so quietly he wasn't even sure if Blaine heard.

"Dude! I heard about you and Brittany!" Puck praised, giving Blaine a congratulatory clap on the back as he pulled his shirt off, changing for football practice on Thursday afternoon. Blaine just smiled nervously and nodded. "Can't say I'm surprised though," he continued "She's made out with at least every guy on the team; it's a rite of passage if you will." Puck said, placing his arm over Blaine's shoulders.

"W-what?" Blaine asked, taken aback by Puck.

"Yeah, everyone's had a slice of the Brittany pie, she's hot, right? But God have you seen Quinn? The Puckzilla definitely wants a piece of that!" Puck whistled as he shook his head. Finn punched him on the arm with a disapproving look.

"Dude!" Finn cried but Puck just shook him off.

"Oh," Blaine replied slowly, unsure of how else to respond.

"Hey, what's with the long face? Aw, dude, you didn't think she was actually into you did ya?" Puck asked, almost sympathetically but mostly he just sounded amused.

"U-Um…" Blaine stuttered, trying to process the information. He actually felt somewhat relieved; If Puck was to be believed then at least Brittany wasn't attached to him because he was just using her and Kurt was right, leading her on would just be unfair. He wriggled himself from Puck's hold and sat down on the bench to change his shoes. The knot in his stomach had refused to calm since the weekend and whenever he so much as thought about being with Brittany it tugged and twisted angrily.

Blaine ignored the aching sensation and placed his muddy boots back into his sports bag, trying to calm the thoughts that had been swimming around in his head for longer than he'd first thought. He tried to ignore the real reason why he still hadn't broken up with Brittany and why he'd lied to Kurt about it. He tried to convince himself that the lies were the truth as he left the locker room undetected.

"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed as he opened the door to find his friend standing on his porch looking downcast. Kurt had arrived home not ten minutes ago, thinking Blaine had football practice. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at practice?"

"I skipped today," he said in a monotone, moving into the living room. "I really…I need to…" He choked and that was when Kurt noticed his eyes were red rimmed his heart sank; he couldn't remember the last time he had seen Blaine cry. Blaine started pacing the room, his hand pressed against his forehead in frustration that he couldn't get his words out.

"Have you been crying? Are you okay?" Kurt asked with concern as he took Blaine by the elbow and led him to sit on the sofa. Blaine shook his head from side to side; no. He was breathing deeply but shakily as Kurt rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"Can you not?" He asked quietly and Kurt retracted his hand as though he had just been burned. He held both of his hands together, uncertain what to do with them. Blaine leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hung his head. "Sorry I just….can't…"

"Do you want some coffee?" Kurt offered, unsure of what else to say. He rose to his feet, "My dad got some more of that stuff you love at the weekend…" He watched Blaine tentatively waiting for a reply until he finally received a shaky nod and hurried off to the kitchen. "I'll be right back."

Kurt fumbled around trying to collect his thoughts as he made Blaine's coffee. His heart was pounding in fear for what could possibly be wrong. Why didn't he want Kurt to touch him? Kurt froze as an unwanted thought crossed his mind…what if Blaine found out that he was gay?

No, he forced himself to think as he tried to remember how to breathe. If he felt that way then he wouldn't have come over at all.

But the way Blaine had looked, as though his entire world had just crumbled away, sent a painful jolt through his heart. He stirred some sugar into the coffee, not quite decided whether he wanted to take his time or hurry out to find out what was wrong but eventually carried the steaming cup out to Blaine for lack of anything else to do.

"Here," he said gently, offering the coffee. Blaine slowly turned his head and stared wearily at the cup before raising his still very red eyes to meet Kurt's.

"I think…I think I might be gay," he breathed in a gentle whisper as more tears gathered and slipped down his already damp face. Kurt's eyes widened in disbelief as the cup handle slipped through his fingers and the brown liquid spilled all over the carpet. The crash sent a jolt through him as he tried to gather himself.

He dove for the floor to pick up the shards as he searched for something to say yet nothing came out as more than a choked syllable. However his heart soared at the realization that every doubt he'd ever had about himself was irrelevant because Blaine was the same as him! Suddenly Blaine was on his knees in front of the stain on the carpet and the shards of ceramic that Kurt was still hastily trying to gather.

"Kurt…I-I'm sorry, I just…I really just needed to tell someone…" Blaine stumbled, his breathing still not quite steady. Kurt raised his gaze to meet Blaine's, a smile playing at his lips.

"No, Blaine it's oka-"

"No, it's not okay, Kurt!" Blaine said, rising his voice. "I'm disgusting," he whimpered and Kurt's face fell as he sank back onto his knees, every doubt and every fear not only returning but being realized in full. So that was what Blaine thought on the matter. "I can't just be this way, it's unnatural." Kurt said nothing and stared helplessly at the floor, he could feel his own tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. "Kurt, please don't hate me…" Blaine begged, "I don't know for certain yet but I'm trying to fix myself, that's why I haven't broken up with Brittany, she can help make me better!" Kurt forced himself to breathe, Blaine's words eating away at him as they replayed themselves over and over again through his mind.

Disgusting, unnatural, fix.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said again.

"You don't even know what you're sorry for, do you?" Kurt said in whisper, his tone even but laced with hurt. Blaine furrowed his brows as he looked to his friend in confusion.

"W-what? I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable…and-and I'm sorry that I had to burden you with this but-"

"I can't believe how blind you are!" Kurt cried, rising to his feet as the tears spilled over the edge. The coffee and the shards of the shattered mug lay abandoned. Blaine stood once Kurt did, his features traced with concern.

"The kids at school can figure it out after taking just one look at me and you can't even work it out after knowing me for ten years!"

"Kurt-"

"I want you to leave," Kurt demanded, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Kurt please! I don't know why you're so angry at me, I'm trying to make myself better, I swear I can fix this!" Blaine begged. Kurt didn't even try to stop himself from crying as the salty tracks lined his cheeks. He didn't care that he looked a mess because the one thing that he'd always feared was that Blaine might not accept him and he just could take hearing him talk about gays the way he was.

"Blaine, just go." Kurt sobbed.

"No, please! I don't want you to hate me because of this; I never wanted to be this way…" Blaine tried reaching over to Kurt but he just pulled away, staring blankly at the floor as he tightened his arms around himself. Everything Blaine said was like a fresh punch to his already aching gut, he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Blaine, I think you should leave kid," came a sudden, much deeper voice and Kurt instinctively spun around to find his father standing sternly in the kitchen doorway. Blaine visibly blanched at the sight of Burt Hummel who had clearly heard the entire conversation. Burt loved Blaine and vice versa; they'd always gotten along as though they were actually father and son, they watched football together when Kurt was clearly disinterested and he'd told Blaine on many occasions that he was always welcome in the Hummel home. Never had they ever been on bad terms and never had Burt forced him to leave. Blaine had never realized just how terrifyingly intimidating Kurt's father could be until that moment, standing there firm and unmoving, the look in his eyes had all of Blaine's instincts screaming at him to get out as fast as he could.

So he did. He took one last sorrowful look at Kurt, his best friend, who he never thought would judge him, who he thought might be able to understand him and help him get over this phase of his but instead he was met with cold eyes. He picked up his coat that he had draped over the arm of the sofa and left, slamming the door in his wake but cringing when he heard the racket it made.

Kurt shakily looked towards his father who still stood, arms crossed and scowling in the doorway. Slowly, his features softened and he took three long strides towards his son before engulfing him in a tight embrace. Kurt stiffened in his father's arms; the last time he'd just held him like that was when his mother had died, he'd forgotten how comforting it was as he eventually relaxed. The sobs that had started to settle were brought back to life as he let himself cry into his father's flannel shirt. His dad simply stood there and allowed him to dampen his shirt, rubbing soothing circles into his son's shaking back.

"You wanna talk, Kurt?" He asked eventually when Kurt seemed to calm down slightly and his breathing was more even. He felt movement against his chest which he guessed was Kurt's answer but couldn't quite work out if he was nodding or shaking his head. "Blaine should never have said those things. Not to you," he said softly.

Kurt pulled away slightly to look up at his father's warm, loving eyes, unsure of what he meant. He bit his lips as he tore his gaze away, debating in his mind, should he? Shouldn't he? His dad wasn't pushing him to say anything, there was no malice, only concern and something…knowing. He didn't realize that his whole frame was shaking until he tried to speak and found the vibrations making it impossible.

"D-dad…" he finally stuttered, eyes watering with a fresh batch of tears. He'd already lost Blaine and his mind was filled with doubts and what-ifs but he still searched within him for just a small ounce of courage. Someone had to know, he couldn't hold it in anymore. "D-dad, I'm…I-"

"I know," his dad said firmly as he squeezed Kurt even tighter.

"No…Dad I need to tell you-"

"I know, Kurt," Burt said, smiling at the look of confusion in his son's face; he could almost hear the cogs turning in his brain.

"You…know?" he said breathlessly, unsure if they were talking about the same subject.

"That you're gay." Kurt's eyes widened at hearing the word coming from his dad as his breath hitched in his throat. He pulled away from the embrace to get a better look at his father's face, it wasn't enough to just hear the words; he needed to see it on his face, to make sure that he wasn't going to lose him as well. "I've known since you were three." Kurt wasn't quite sure if it was possible to crack a rib from excessive heart beating yet it seemed very likely as his chest began to ache from the pounding. He could even feel it in his throat as he tried to form a coherent response.

"Oh," was all he could come up with as Burt pulled him back in, resting his head on top of his sons comfortingly.

"That was what you were gonna tell me, right?" his dad asked, a hint if uncertainty in his voice. Kurt nodded against his chest.

"Yeah," he replied in a whisper, "yeah I'm…gay," he said, testing the word. It was strange hearing it said by his dad but saying it himself, feeling it on his tongue and as it lingered in the air around them just felt downright surreal. Kurt sniffled against the warm firmness of his dad's chest, feeling utterly safe surrounded in his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you…until now."

"Don't be, I wanted you to come to me, I never wanted you to tell me until you felt one hundred percent ready. I didn't want it to happen like this though, and for him of all people to come into this house and say those sorts of things…" Kurt wanted to defend Blaine, to say he didn't know any better; that he just doesn't understand what's happening to him but he couldn't find it in himself to do so. The sting of what he had said was still so very fresh and why should he defend somebody who thinks that he's disgusting anyway?

Blaine ignored his mother's greeting as he arrived home, and he ignored his dad's scolding for slamming the front door as he did so. Instead he made a beeline straight for his room. He couldn't look at his parents, couldn't stand the burning shame he felt whenever he thought about what he was and how ashamed they would be.

He could change it though, he could fix himself. He had told himself this over and over again. Brittany was good for him, she was pretty and blonde and the type of girl all the guys wanted; she was the girl that all the guys had had at one point or another and the fact that she had no romantic interest in him would make things hopefully easier.

Blaine angrily threw his jacket onto the chair in the corner of his room before crawling onto his bed and curling into himself. Why did he have to be like this? Why was it now that he began to feel different, when he had finally started dating and being noticed by girls…

Because now you know that girls aren't really what you want, a voice inside his head tried to reason but Blaine just pushed it away and forbade it from ever making a return, grabbing one of his pillows and covering his head with it as if to block any other similar thoughts from invading.

He was sure that Kurt would have helped him. His heart tugged at the thought of his friend. He had debated with himself the day before whether he should confide in him or not, but he was stupid and impulsive and unpracticed at hiding his emotions. He had been depending on Kurt to save him; he was the one person he trusted the most and who he thought would always be there for him, but if even Kurt couldn't accept this about him then what hope was there for anyone else?

But people wouldn't have to accept him because he was going to change. He wasn't going to be this person.

He should never have told Kurt, he could have fixed it on his own without having to lose his best friend over it. Even Kurt's dad hated him now. Just because of a stupid phase that he couldn't seem to shake himself out of.

Deciding that reliving the recent events was not helping, Blaine raised himself off his bed to try and find something else to distract himself with. He passed the mirror hung up on his wall and paused at the sight of himself. His eyes were red and his face was tear-stained but he was already aware of how atrocious he looked. His gaze however lingered on his hair; it was scruffy from where he'd been laying on the bed, the gel holding his curls up at odd angles. He scrunched it up with his hand, mussing up the strands that were still neatly placed until it somewhat resembled what his hair looked like before he got it cut, only shorter. He scowled at his reflection. He wasn't even sure why he'd gotten it cut but all of his problems and doubts seem to have started when he did. Brittany had loved playing with his hair as she would say something about hobbits or whatever nonsense he wasn't listening to…but she had appreciated the shaggy curls and then he had gotten rid of them.

Or was it an attempt to get rid if her…

No, no, no.

If not then it was certainly to please Kurt…

No, I definitely do not have feelings for Kurt.

Blaine screwed up his eyes, pressing his palms against the lids. He was crazy; he was definitely losing his mind. He didn't even think it was possible to have such an intense argument with his own conscience.

"No…" he mumbled to himself as he took a seat on the corner of his bed, hands still pressed against his eyes as he slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "This can't be happening."

He had to play it straight, literally, it was the only way to fix himself, to make sure his parents would never be ashamed, to make sure the guys at school wouldn't taunt him, but most importantly, to get Kurt to not hate him.

He leaned back onto his bed. Him and Kurt; it had always been him and Kurt and he didn't want that to suddenly end; for all those years of friendship to just suddenly stop. He was going to fix it.

I have the next two chapters already written, I just need to check through them and edit stuff :D
Reviews are my motivation, I love you all!