The Legacy of the Prophets Chapter 7: Holy Shit! Magic!, a Mass Effect + Cthulhu Mythos Crossover fanfic

Sorry about the delay. Excrement recently made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device, and I've been working my ass off to try and repair all the damage done by my various fuckups. I really, really, really shouldn't even be writing this, in fact. But I am, 'cause I'm a dumbass. So whatever. For future reference, I make it a point to leave regular status updates on my profile page. That includes the status of each story and my current state of being.

I'd like to give a shoutout to Emily, at fantasynamegenerators .com- I use her website for all of my stories, and highly recommend it if you have as much trouble coming up with names as I do. And I think I should reiterate how awesome GeneratedName has been, with his continued advice on the story. Go give The Human War a look- my discussions with GeneratedName about it were a large part of what led to my writing this story.

Lastly, a big thanks to that guy who went through and read and reviewed on every single one of my stories. That was pretty awesome. You should sign in/up, so that I can tell you how awesome you are personally, and respond to your reviews.

Oh, one more thing- I hope nobody objected to my use of their usernames. If you did, please let me know, and I'll take it out. If yours isn't in there, don't feel bad. I had to pick and choose (there wasn't a whelk's chance in a supernova I could use all of them), and I decided to mostly use the ones I could make puns out of.

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Council Chambers, The Citadel

~10:00, 1 Irstop 2032 Galactic Standard

16 Months After First Contact

"When the Human Escape Fleet first came out of uncharted space near Epyrus, they told us what seemed to be an impossible tale," Tevos began as she looked out at the gathered Ambassadors, VIPs, and reporters. "They claimed that, over two thousand galactic years ago, their species had been attacked. Not by other Humans, not by a species of aliens, but by a single being, a literal god, which had been spoken of in Human legends and stories. This being, called Azhorra-Tha, slaughtered thirty-five billion Humans before the survivors, in an act of desperation, detonated their star and fled their home galaxy entirely. They had, they claimed, been fleeing from this god for two-thousand years now, almost all of that time spent in transit between the two galaxies. The tale spun by the surviving Humans got stranger, as they spoke of magic, of demons, and of scientific principles which drove their researchers insane, but allowed impossible feats. We, the Council, did not believe any of this tale. We supposed that they had had some civil war, or been invaded by an alien race, and the losing side of this war had fled after using weapons of mass destruction to buy themselves time. We supposed that these events had been, at most, a few centuries ago. More importantly, we supposed that the tales of Azhorra-Tha had been lies spread by the leadership, and the tales of magic and insanity had been spread by greedy scientists seeking to hoard the knowledge gained from a Prothean Beacon. Officially, we acknowledged the Humans' tale, and put their history in the Galactic Standard Information Codex. Unofficially, we spread our version of the story, which we supposed to be the truth."

Tevos's face took on a look of immense sadness as she continued speaking. "A few months ago, a research station working on new energy technology was attacked and taken over by a large force of terrorists. For various reasons, we requested a token force of aid from the Gellix Republic. To our surprise, and derision, we were provided with, in addition to conventional soldiers, a number of Human mages. The officer commanding this operation, who shall remain unnamed for security reasons, decided that this was the best way to learn what trickery the Humans passed off as magic, and they were sent into the field. To the commander's amazement, the Humans surpassed expectations, and performed feats which were patently impossible, such as creating monsters out of thin air, or launching lightning bolts from their bare hands." The crowd began muttering at this. Was it possible that these poor, misguided Humans were actually in the right all along? It seemed that the Council was saying as much, at the very least. "After the engagement, tests and experiments were performed. Firstly, the history provided by the Humans was, to our and their knowledge, completely accurate. Examinations have revealed that the ships in their fleet truly are over two thousand years old. Humans who had advanced their strange powers such that they have lifespans beyond even those of the Asari or the Krogan gave eyewitness accounts of the destruction of their homeworld. And, under strict and rigorous testing, they demonstrated impossible acts."

"I am here today to say that we, the Council, were wrong. Humans can perform magic. It seems that the galaxy they come from is, or was, inhabited by many such creatures. Research suggests that this is due to an abundance of Dark Energy in their home galaxy, which wrought unseen changes upon Human biology. The principle is somewhat similar to that of biotics, but allows a far greater range of abilities. Unfortunately, like biotics, it is an ability which one is born with, and impossible to gain otherwise. The details of the ability are rather complex, and beyond my comprehension, but the summary is that the abilities displayed by Human sorcerers defy all conventional scientific knowledge, and…"

Sergeant Harald Parson shut off the vid with a scowl.

"Four soldiers dead, and we don't even get credit for the op. A 'token force' my ass. They sent us in alone 'cause they knew damned well anybody else would've only gotten in the way."

"At least they're admitting they were wrong. Sort of," replied Rokelle Burns from behind her book.

There was a snort from the corner of the bunker. "'Sort of' is right," commented Digsi Dais, one of the squad's mages. "Do you have any fuckin' clue how hard it is to get to be proficient enough to even be considered an Initiate?"

"Yeah, cause you whine about it all the time," somebody else jabbed.

"Ah, shuddup. You know what I mean. It takes years of practice to be able to do shit with magic, and here they tell everybody that you're born with the fuckin' powers. I understand why they're sayin' it- hell, I don't like the idea of the idiots they call citizens using magic either- but it still cheapens the whole thing. Humans understand what bein' a mage means. Any dumbass knows that it's the toughest job in the 'verse, and by far th' most dang'rous. Now, with the shit that blue slut was tellin' everybody, people are gonna think it's just a matter of waving your hands and sayin' a few funny words."

"And, you know, slitting your wrists," pointed out Gerja Grint.

"Nah, that's only necessary for the big stuff. Most of yer everyday magic'll work with just a prick. Why do you think we wear those gloves all th' time?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rokelle asked. "What've the gloves got to do with a sacrifice?"

"There's a needle in th' cloth, dumbass. Move yer fingers just right, and it'll shoot out an' prick yer hand. Draws a few drops of blood. Quicker than using th' dagger, and it only draws a little, which is all ya need for most of the day-to-day stuff. It's really only enchanting or combat, or anything that needs to be done in a hurry, that takes a lot of blood, and that's when you cut yer palms. That's why the gloves leave th palms uncovered, see?"

She held up her hand, displaying the palmless gloves that most mages wore, then made a gesture with her fingers.

"When I do this, only a little farther out with th' pinky an' th' ring finger, it shoots out a needle that pricks the back of my hand. The needle's charmed to only come out on command, so it's not a problem when I don't need it, and it's always there if I do."

"Huh. We've been in the same squad for seven years now, and you've never mentioned any of that, you know that?"

"Ya never asked, dumbass."

The Extranet

CitadelNews. cbo/recentnews/humans/discussion/403129/page-3

[AsariFunGirl] Holy shit, is this for real? Humans can actually do magic? Like, fireballs and lightning bolts, magic?

[OmegaScribe] No shit, Sherlock. What the hell do you think I do for a living?

[IstuHero18] Bullshit. That's not a job. There's no such thing as a professional biotic user. Why would humans have professional witches?

[mofo42] You guys are idiots. Have you not seen how much pull the Humans have in politics these days? They've been around for like a year and a half, and they're getting away with stuff even the Batarians get in trouble for. They've clearly got some sort of pull on the Council, and they're trying to make themselves look special. They've got a con going, and don't want to let it up.

[OmegaScribe] Istu- We generally prefer "Sorcerer" or, if you wanna be casual about it, "mage." And not all humans are able or willing to do magic. Remember the whole insanity business that you dumbasses thought was just a scam? That's real, too. Most people aren't willing to go nuts just so they can fling a few fireballs around.

[AsariFunGirl] Wait, seriously? I heard about that, but I thought it was just a joke about how crazy humans are in general. Well, how crazy we thought you were.

[ElcorOnCrack] Trust me Fungirl, they're fuckin' lunatics. I saw a Human casting a spell once. You know how they do it? They cut themselves. Nutjob slashed his damned wrists. They cut themselves to do their magic shit. If that's not crazy, I don't know what is.

[Ms. Tevos] Maybe that's why only humans can cast magic! I bet there's something special about their blood, and that shedding it helps them cast spells!

[FlyingHanar1991] That… that could be true, I suppose. We've effectively just been told that everything scientists know is wrong. Scribe, that make sense to you?

[ClownIslandTerror] I can't believe you dumbasses are actually taking this bullshit seriously. At the very, very most, the humans have some kind of advanced technology that lets them fool people into thinking they're using magic. I believe an ancient human author once said "Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

[Uncertainty in E Minor] Clownie boy, you have no idea what you're talking about. My roommate is a member of the Society. I've seen some of the shit he does, and it gives me goosebumps just thinkin about it. More to the point, how could he make a monster out of thin air with technology of any kind?

[ClownIslandTerror] Uncertainty, if I could answer that question, the technology wouldn't be so alien, now would it?

[How99200399491…] So we're taking it as read that Tevos was telling the truth? Not really even counting the possibility that the Humans might be blackmailing the Council, or that this might be a bribe to get the Humans to stop making waves, or something like that?

[FlyingHanar1991] How99… Nah, this was too well done. There were already videos of Humans doing weird shit, and the Humans provided a public demonstration, which can be viewed here. You could say the videos are faked, but the VIPs at the demonstration swear that it was real, including Primarch Bromcus, and we all know how much he hates Humans. If he's speaking out for them, I'm willing to believe it.

[How99200399491…] Fair enough. I just wanted to make sure we weren't jumping the gun on this. That said, magic! Holy shit!

Eneen stared at Councilor Tevos through her roommate's TV. Was she serious? Humans could actually perform magic?

"I told you," Alvred said smugly from his chair. "I'm not sure about that stuff about the dark energy, and all that. Seems like they're just trying to make it into something they can understand, if you ask me, but whatever. But yeah, magic is real."

"Why can't you do it then?" Eneen challenged.

Alvred scowled. "I told you, I'm learning. It's tough as hell. It's not like those biotics you do. I have to actually act as a… a sort of door, to the Void. It's almost as hard as it is dangerous, and it's dangerous as fuck. It's not something that people use casually. The Void is a scary place, you know. Most of the Outer Gods live there, somewhere. Azhorra-Tha was unusual in that he was present in this universe."

"I thought the Void was where your ships travel? Why would you go there if it's so dangerous?"

"There's a couple of factors there, as I understand it." Alvred said, as he began to explain what he'd been taught as a Human and as a Student of the Society. "Firstly, the alternative was worse. It was either go to a place where there might be an Outer God, and it might be awake, and it might notice us, or stay in a place where there was definitely an Outer God, and it already knew we were there. We were reasonably certain that blowing up Sol had bought us some time, but we weren't willing to spend too much time anywhere near Earth, or even Gaia. Second, we were insanely careful. Theoretically, we could've gotten here in a few hundred years, I think, but we had to go slowly, and make all kinds of detours any time there was the slightest sign of anything that might have been... alive isn't quite the right word for some of these beings, but you know what I mean. Lastly, and I don't really understand this part very well, our ships somehow had a bubble of Real Space around them. That provides a little bit of protection against some of the things that live there. Like I said, I'm not really sure how that works."

"So why is magic so dangerous? Can't you be careful with that, too?"

"Yes and no. A decent portion of the structure of any spell is composed of safeguards, to make sure that the portion of the Void you're interacting with is relatively safe. Beyond that, it's just a matter of luck. You can set up extra safeguards if you're actually summoning something, but in a normal casting, any extras can throw off the whole balance of the spell. And while just channeling the Void does have a good bit of danger, if you do it right, that's significantly diminished. The hard part is that you've gotta force the substance of the Void to do what you want it to, rather than just exploding, or dissipating into the surrounding area, or doing any one of a million other things, most of them bad. Oh, and you have to have the mental fortitude to stay sane after interacting with the Void. And the willingness to do it, despite the fact that you'll go bonkers eventually, unless you manage to get turned into an Other. Which isn't always all that different, mind you."

Eneen stared at her roommate. "Why on Thessia would you want to do this? If it's that dangerous, and it drives you insane anyway, why the hell would you even try?"

Alvred's face changed, and Eneen almost shrank back away from him as he spoke with a slightly mad look in his eyes.

"Do you have any idea the kind of power a Sorcerer has? Even just an Initiate has more power than any mortal can truly comprehend without experiencing it. You look up to your Matriarchs, but they can't do shit compared to a Sorcerer. And me, I'm not gonna go nuts." His eyes took on an eager glint, and his face was almost terrifying as it seemed to channel a sort of dark desire. "I'm going to go through the Rite of Sacred Union. I'm going to become a Tager. Tagers are gods among men, Eneen, and nobody but another Tager or a stupidly powerful mage can touch them." He seemed to remember suddenly that he was speaking out loud, and returned to the somewhat surly, but mostly normal, roommate Eneen was familiar with. "Besides, with great power comes great responsibility, and all that. Not many people have the ability and mental strength to become a mage, but Humanity, or the Republic now, desperately needs them for all kinds of things. It was the Eldritch Society that managed to distract Azhorrah-Tha for long enough that we could escape and blow up Sol behind us. It was the Society that helped the Terran scientists repurpose our surviving warships into the Escape Fleet, and it was the Society that managed to gather two thousand years' worth of resources and supplies in only a couple of centuries."

"What about the University? I thought they were important, too."

"Well, they are now. They've been the ones responsible for all of our technology and innovation for the past seventeen hundred years or so" Alvred really did seem to enjoy teaching Human history. "But before the War, there wasn't any kind of unification like we have today. There were dozens of organizations, schools, companies, and governments, all competing against each other. It wasn't until Azhorrah-Tha was awakened that they all pooled their resources and started working together, and by then it was too late. It was about 150, during the Preparations, that the University was formed to guard and study Lovecraftian knowledge. Between the Escape and the creation of the University, research was still relatively unregulated. There were still private copies of grimoires and books floating around, and a few competing groups were continuing research into Lovecraftian fields. Eventually, the government decided that access to those kinds of materials should be both shared and restricted, and created a single organization to serve both those purposes. They also decided that if the LSA was going to be spying on and assassinating Sorcerers and scientists, then somebody should be responsible for the poor bastards' mental health to make sure the assassinations weren't necessary. That's when they formed the Psychiatric Institute. Originally, they did exactly what the name said, and what the Bailey plan called for- they monitored and cared for the mental health of University and Society members. Eventually, they started to absorb the LSA's function, using claims that they were euthanizing dangerously insane individuals, until they became the soulless bastards they are today."

"Don't they still do their job, though? Isn't that what the Therapists are for?"

"That's a bit of a mixed bag, to be honest. Some of them, yeah. They do actual therapy. Mostly, though, the Therapists just monitor us and decide how crazy we are, and whether they can justify killing us. Evaluations, diagnoses, stuff like that. And even the ones that do actually counsel their patients are reporting every word of it to their bosses. Fortunately, your people seem to have decided it's their collective job to guide us poor, primitive barbarians out of our delusions. We've probably got more Asari psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, and psychologists here on Gellix than you do on Thessia, and the mages and Professors are thrilled. We've finally got somebody bothering to keep us sane, rather than just shooting us. And now that Tevos is coming clean, they might even start taking us seriously. Eneen, my friend, the Institute is history. It just doesn't know it yet."

The Extranet

Galaxytoday. oxt/justnow/humans/talk-about-it/28hg094k/holy_shit/page-7

[TheAnsweredOne] Does it really matter the reason, Guardian? Humans have made it painfully clear what they think of Asari. There's a Human café on the Citadel that openly won't serve us. I doubt it'll be able to stay open very long if they don't change that rule, but the fact remains that that's an incredibly offensive and primitive viewpoint.

[Guardian of Knowledge] It kind of does. From what I've read of their religion, it basically states that Asari, or something very like you, are evil, demon-worshipping monsters that want to kill them all. Since Tevos just admitted that at least parts of their religion are true, can you really blame them for wanting nothing to do with a species they view as being scarier than a Thresher Maw?

[Xx_VoidCowboy_xX] I'm telling you, that press release was bullshit. The Humans have been contacting the Krogan, and the Council decided to throw the Republic a bone so they wouldn't try to cure the Genophage!

[ArdatYakshi79] Piss off, Cowboy. Nobody wants to hear you conspiracy theories. Now what's this about the Human religion saying Asari are evil?

[Guardian of Knowledge] Read The Shadow Over Innsmouth, one of the Human religious texts. Then read The Reality of Lovecraft's Prophecies, a historical analysis of their religion, and On Asari and the Deep Ones. Tell me it doesn't make sense that Humans are scared shitless.

[GrinningKid98] Dude, that's fuckin' terrifying. Now I'm scared of Asari.

[TheAnsweredOne] Fuck you very much, Grinning. I concede that there may be some truth to some parts of the human religion, but does that story not seem just a little farfetched to you? There is no possible justification for the kind of treatment we receive from those pink hairy bastards.

[Six Justicars of Thresher Maw Order] Be fair now, Answered. This is their religion. People tend to be just a little bit irrational when it gets to issues concerning their gods. And when their religion is, apparently, backed up by historical evidence and eyewitness accounts (does anybody have any info on that, btw?), then they'll take it even more seriously. To be honest, I'm surprised they haven't started a Yakshi-hunt yet. I'm no more happy about their speciesism than the next girl, but I can understand the reason for it.

[Pervy John] To be fair, not all of us agree with the idea that the Asari have anything to do with the Deep Ones. The Society has stated that they'll look into it, but they aren't particularly concerned. If there were any real risk, the Society would be taking Asari much more seriously. Plus, Tagers despise the Deep Ones, and, supposedly, can recognize them on sight. I can honestly say that if the two species had any similarities, then Tevos wouldn't have survived the initial discussions.

[PaintingJelly] Gee, that's a relief. So we're relying on the judgement of a group who even the Humans view as dangerously unstable to stave off that Yakshi-hunt?

[ArdatYakshi79] Sorry, but am I missing something here? What's a Tager, and why is it bad that we're relying on their judgement?

[Pervy John] Tagers are the top agents of the Society. They're a specific type of Other, which means that every one of them is immortal, and the youngest of them is over a thousand years old. I can't say anything more than that without approaching treason. The reason Jelly is afraid is because Tagers are predatory and extremely violent. Most Humans (and that's spreading to other citizens of the Republic) are scared shitless of them. I met one once, and it was terrifying. The way he stared at me like I was just a mouse to be played with, then eaten still gives me nightmares. That said, they're extremely loyal to the Society, and there are surprisingly few reports of them going off the rail.

[Xx_VoidCowboy_xX] That's because the Society hushes up anybody who talks about what Tagers get up to!

[PaintingJelly] Shut up, Cowboy.

[TheAnsweredOne] VoidCowboy's idiocy aside, your description fills me with a distinct lack of confidence. If these Tagers truly the only thing keeping Humans from going on a full scale Yakshi-Hunt, I want nothing to do with Gellix.

[Pervy John] 'Kay, I think you guys are taking what I said the wrong way. I said that their failure to kill every Asari they see is proof that you have nothing to do with the Deep Ones. I didn't say that it was the only thing keeping us from going on a witch-hunt. As I said, the Society is researching the similarities, and is fairly sure that they're purely coincidental.

[Abandoned139] Can I just ask why nobody is asking about the word "immortal" in that sentence? How exactly does that work?

[Guardian of Knowledge] The Humans are insanely quiet on that topic, Abandoned, but the basic understanding is that there are various magical ways to become immortal. We don't have any more solid information on the subject, and you won't get anywhere bothering the Humans about it, but by picking through the clues, you can figure out that almost all of these processes drive the user partially insane. And I'm gonna throw a preemptive "Shut up, Cowboy" in here.

There it is, peeps. A little short, but I thought you guys would prefer I just get it out there and move on, rather than try to come up with another reaction scene. Almost all of the usernames in this chapter are a pun based off of the usernames of my reviewers, so see if you can find yours!