My Little Ballerina
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly or the Song "Your Secrets Keep you Sick" by the Fold
OOO
Sam's POV
I looked at her, fairly confused. 'It's you you're running from'. What is this chiz? I'm not running from myself-just my problems.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
She looks back down at her computer, but speaks. "Why do you live two lives?"
"I don't know," I confessed. It's the most truthful answer I can think of. I paused, thinking.
Was it reputation? Was it to escape? It had just always been that way. Some of Samantha's friends knew about Sam, but none of Sam's friends (unless you count Freddie) knew about Samantha. And that's how my life went.
Teri smirked. "Have you ever thought of living just one?"
I pushed on the door. I was leaving, the woman was crazy. She slammed her fist on the desk. "Samantha! Stop running! Running from you problems will do you no good! You need to face them." I scoffed.
"Facing your problems? That's just something moms tell their kids to get them to do what they want."
Teri buried her face in her hands. "You just don't get it. Being stubborn and defiant gets you nowhere."
What is her problem?
"Bye."
I walked out the door and onto the brightly lit nighttime streets. I loved nighttime in the city. The lights flooded the streets with so many colors; it was like a completely different place than it was in the daytime. I fished around in my pocket for my Pearpod and pulled it out. I unwrapped the earphones from around it, found my music, and put it on shuffle. I didn't know most of the music on it, when I saved up to buy it I didn't have any extra money for music, so I plugged it into Carly's computer and got all her songs. I update it every once in a while, and she knows. I think.
I pressed shuffle and looked at the screen. "Your Secrets Keep You Sick" was the name of the song. It was a fast song with lots of guitar riffs and drums. Then they started to sing.
And we had talked for hours in the corridor. Things you said they took my breath away. If all that you can offer me is seven years of unsettled memories, we've got a lot to talk about tonight, and I know now, what I've found out that…
That's creepy. The first thing I thought of was Freddie singing this to me. Maybe because we walked down the hallway, chatting about the most random subjects. Or, maybe, because I'd call him Freddork and punch him in the stomach and knock his breath out. Or that I've known him since we were nine, that's seven years, right? Or maybe it's because he found out about Samantha.
This is poison, this is poison and your secrets keep you sick. This is poison, this is poison and your secrets keep you sick
Dear Chorus: Why do you have to tell me I'm keeping secrets? I know that. So now you're telling me I'm hurting myself? Okay, I get it. But you know what? I LIKE PAIN! It's super awesome! Love, Samantha Puckett.
And we had talked for hours in the corridor, tears we shed they washed our pasts away. This wretched heart has haunted me through far too many foregone memories. We've got a lot to talk about tonight. And I know now, just what I've found out
Seriously, I'm skipping this song. This verse made me think of the night on the fire escape, when I apologized and admitted to lying. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and I really wish I had had a second chance at it. Besides the night in the iCarly studio, (when we kissed, then I conveniently slapped him twice) but that was Samantha, well the kissing back part, the slap was all Sam. So, therefore, it doesn't count. But at the same time it was one of the most changing nights of my life, when I realized Fredlumps wasn't as much of a nub as I thought, and he had emotions, like Samantha (and Sam, sometimes), and that he was really my best friend. (Second to Carly, of course)
This is poison, this is poison and your secrets keep you sick. This is poison, this is poison secrets keep you sick
and when she cries she screams inside, her secrets can't be told. And when she lies she screams at night, and her secrets keep her sick. And I know now, what I've found out.
What the hell? How did these songwriters know? And it's only happened like, four, maybe five times! Those horrible nights when I woke up screaming of the terrible nightmares that invaded my dreams. But no one knew that, not even Carly. I didn't want to seem like Gibby, having weird dreams and nightmares. Then everyone would sing, "My screaming little angel, don't you cry. . ."
Could that be happening because of the secret I'm keeping? I ripped the earphones out of my ears and refused to listen to the rest of the song. Then something dawned on me.
What it keeping this secret was making me unstable? Messed up; off balance in the world. Why can't I be Sam and Samantha? And let everyone know? I don't think I could do that.
And then there's Freddie. I really did like him, love him even. But was it love, or was it brother love? Like Harry and Hermione, Spongebob and Sandy, Alice and the Hatter?
I need to make things right with Fredderly, I messed up our friendship. I messed up my friendship with Carly, too. I set off for Bushwell Plaza, with earphones in my ears and a determined feeling in my heart.
Caroline's POV
Caroline's POV
Nevel stared blankly at me. "How does that explain it?"
"It doesn't," I replied. "That's how I met Samantha." The boy rolled his eyes.
"This is pointless. Let's do something worthwhile. Would you like to see a picture of my brain?"
What? His brain? Was this creepy kid flirting with me? Ew.
"Um, no thanks. Would you like me to finish my story?"
"Of course."
FLASHBACK
From the moment Samantha joined the dance class; she was always the best, making me second best. I didn't like that-it meant I wasn't perfect, not the best. I had to be the best. But I wasn't. Samantha was a better dancer, more people liked her, she was prettier than me; she was everything I was, but better.
And I hated it.
And I started to hate her when I was thirteen. It was a simple sentence, but it sparked something inside me.
"Hey, Caroline, you're doing it wrong, try it like-"
I scoffed and interrupted her. "No, you're doing it wrong." I don't even remember what it was that we were doing.
"Ms. Teri," I asked the teacher, "Am I doing it right or is Samantha doing it right? Because I'm sure I'm doing it perfectly." We both did whatever it was, and Teri looked over us.
"Samantha, you're doing it perfectly, Caroline, have Samantha help you with that, you need it." Samantha gave me a snide smirk. "Do you ever do anything right? Why do you even take dance lessons, you'd be much better off doing something else. I don't know, soccer, theater, maybe art?"
"I'm already doing it right, you're doing it wrong!" I was fuming.
"Seriously, Cryandwhine, come on, I need to teach this to you."
Yeah, hear that? She called me cryandwhine. Cry. And. Whine. She just had to make me more pissed off, didn't she?
It continued after that day, with little remarks and rude nicknames. They were crazy names too! Carolame, Caroloopy, Carrication, Charles, , and even Cariguana.
After that, I wasn't as good. Not close to best or being perfect.
That's what I hated most about Samantha Puckett.
She was perfect and I was not.
END FLASHBACK
Freddie's POV
I was sitting in my room, looking at the iCarly site when Sam tumbled into my room. Yes, tumbled. She came in through the window, which was now open letting the heavy rain pour inside.
"Sam? What are you doing?" She closed the window and started to ring out her hair, which got more water on my floor.
"What do you think? I need to talk to you."
"But you just came up the fire escape! Why didn't you use the elevator?"
She shrugged. "Avoiding Carly. Can I have a towel?"
I closed my laptop and got up from my chair. "Sure." I went into the bathroom and dug around for a towel, and found the biggest, fluffiest one. I tossed it to her and she started to dry her hair out.
"So, why did you climb up eight flights of fire escape stairs to my room?"
"Because, Benson, I need to talk to you!" Sam was now sitting on my floor with her knees tucked up to her chest.
This is going to be awkward.
"About?"
She mumbled something incoherent.
"What?"
She looked up at me, her eyes full of sorrow. "I'm sorry. You're my best friend, Frednub, and I don't want to hurt that friendship."
"How do I even know who I'm being friends with?" I was a little angry. We kiss, and she slaps me? Now she's saying friendship sappiness?
She looked me straight in the eyes, her blue piercing into my brown. "Not Sam, not Samantha. Me, Freddie."
OOO
So I got a beta! Her pen name is randomness101-seddie fan, but I just call her Squirrel. Cause squirrels are cool.
Anyway, I'm worried about this story, It feels like it's coming to a close, and I haven't even gotten them together yet! Maybe I'll do a sequel...
Did y'all what's iGot a Hot Room? I was a little dissapointed, it seemed too short and rushed and I don't think 82 thousand dollars can get you that bedroom, by that I mean the awesomesauce closet. I am happy Gibby's a main character now, though. Gib's cool.
I'll try to update soon! Any ideas, or constructive criticism, or what you'd like to happen, review about it! If you loved it, review about it! If you think this is the stupidest thing you've ever read, review about it!
-Lyra