Talking by the Black Lake

After that afternoon Hermione ignored him completely. Whenever she saw him looking at her, her eyes narrowed and she looked away from him. This caused his mood to descend rapidly. Draco had never been good at expressing his feelings, and he didn't feel like talking to his so-called friends about what was wrong. Instead he turned to something that had helped him in the past. He picked up bullying and mocking everyone he saw. It continued like that for a couple of days.

They were sitting in the Great Hall when Hermione suddenly caught his eyes. She stared bluntly at him before moving her head in the direction of the Black Lake. It was a clear motion for him to follow her, and he did so a few minutes after she had gotten up.

He wasn't really sure if he had liked the look she had sent him, but he decided not to let it bother him. He was going to be alone with her for the first time in 3 days. All he really wanted to do was to enjoy the moment.

Once he was outside the castle he stopped to look for her. He finally found her, sitting under his tree near the Black Lake. When he reached her, he slowly sat down besides her. She didn't move, didn't even look at her, she just kept looking out over the lake. But the sudden tension in her shoulders told him that she was aware of his presence.

"Did you want something?" he slowly asked, trying to keep the desire from his voice.

"I don't know," she answered after a little time, still not looking away from the Lake.

"Then why did you want me to follow you?" he tried hard not to sound too eager, even though he was more than eager to have a real conversation with her.

"I thought I knew," she answered and finally looked him in the eyes. All Draco wanted to do was look into those chocolate brown depths for an eternity. But now was not the time for being sappy, he told himself. She wasn't his yet.

"I'm so sorry," he had no idea what he was apologizing for he just felt a need to say the words.

"I don't get you," she said after a moment, her eyes still locked on his. "I really thought you wanted to change. Sitting here with you, you seem changed."

Her words made his body feel warm and flushed. She saw his change! But something was not the way it should be. She was still mad at him.

"But even though you seem changed to me, you are still the same arrogant bastard you always have been."

The words stung like the glare from a Basilisk.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I've been noticing you the last couple of weeks," she said, this time she sounded very curious and she watched him like she would watch an experiment for school. "You have been a complete and otter arse to everyone… except for me."

Even though she didn't ask him why that was, he sensed the question in her delicate features.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this," he whispered more to himself than to her. He didn't know where to look. He wanted to look her in the eyes, but he felt too vulnerable like that. Instead he settled on her long, slim fingers. Then he took a deep breath and started talking.

"I have been wanting to change for a long time now," he started. "For more than a month. I want to be a better person, not so much for myself, but also for someone else. Someone who sees me as an arrogant brat. But you don't know what it's like to be me," at these words he finally found the courage and strength to look her in the eyes. There he saw a kind of comprehension that the person he had been talking about was her. "You don't know what being me means. I was raised to be mean and condescending towards others. I'm not saying this to make excuses for myself; I'm just trying to get you to understand."

He held his breath for a little while until Hermione nodded.

"Well, I tried to be a better person over all," he continued "but my friends found me weird. They don't want to be better, Hermione. They are content with being who and what they are. But I want to change. Unfortunately that can't be done with friends like mine. So I decided to pretend to be the same evil me towards everyone… besides from you. I just really wanted you to see the other side of me."

He ran dry of words, not knowing how to explain himself to her when she was looking at him like that; lips pursed out and with a slight frown. She was beautiful and it took him all his will power to not lean over and touch her from frown to chin.

"Why?" she finally asked the question she had been dying to ask. "Why only me?"

"Because I'm in love with you," came the blunt answer.

Draco saw Hermione's frown give away to surprise. Slowly his words dawned on her and the surprise turned to wonder and it didn't look like it was going to change from that any time soon.

Sighing deeply, he reached over and traced her soft cheek with his thumb. Then he got up, gave her a weak smile and left her sitting alone.

He had no idea if she had believed him. All he could do was hope that she was thinking about him, and hopefully thinking good thoughts. Draco couldn't help being glad that it was Friday, 'cause that meant weekend, and weekend meant that he wouldn't be seeing much of Hermione. And for once that was fine with him. He had an idea that seeing her would be very awkward. At least until she figured out if she wanted him or not.