Artemis Fowl: The Last Moon is the Last Sun
Chapter Seven: O, Woe is me.
Before you begin reading, the characters in Azkaban I introduced last chapter with die before the last chapter . Mitch and Xander will not live to see the Last chapter . I repeat, Xander and Mitch have tea with the reaper. Along with scones and that weird little side dish of cheese crackers. I'm not so sure about Igneous illusions though. I need her to serve the dark lord for a while.
Okay I haven't updated for so long that I guess most of you hate me. Yeah, I bet you do. Well anyway, if you can't guess already the lines signify the time changes or place changes. Like I'll go from day to night or Harry Potter to Artemis Fowl.
. Thank you.
Underground
"The House was empty." Holly murmured. "It looks like no one's lived there for about eight years." She was back in Foaly's new office. After Foaly had created the Coda Storm wings, add ons to the newest design of AK847 wings, Sool had attempted to fire him which resulted in a fairly large amount of distress from the council. The funds from the Coda Storm wings were still raking in quite the kill which enabled him to triple his office space and make another tech lab.
Birch and Foaly were up against the main computer system analyzing some dust and dirt Holly found in the Fowl Household in unusual places like the middle of the hall. Artemis was known to keep everything neat and nothing dirty. .
"Which we know is a lie." Foaly said with a snort. Artemis Fowl had lived in that house for a good duration of his entire life. Foaly twisted around to the console, giving the computer an instruction to date how old the dust was and examine its contents. The Dirt was another matter and was being sifted through a paper thin strainer that analyzed all 78 grain types and compared it to dirt found in every country on every continent.
"Oh, Come on Foaly, think bout it. Maybe Fowl don't want ta be found." Archer said leaning back in his chair. He had never met the brat but by the way Sool talked about him, he had to be stuck up, obnoxious, and 100 prat.
"Doubt it" Holly and Foaly answered at the same time.
"Artemis Fowl isn't one for hiding out. Secrecy on his information is another matter but Fowl enjoys being noticed and examined." Holly said, her fingers curling around her chin as she sat down. "The only problem is where he went. I know he contacted me this morning from this location."
"What did he contact you on?"
"Telephone, closed connection." Holly answered. "No one was listening, if so then my operator would have notified me if there was an opening." She'd paid quite a bit for that line and personal operator too. Foaly snorted.
"I bet."
"Let's concentrate on the matter at hand, not talk to Holly Short about her phone bill."
Azkaban
Artemis awoke with a painful throb emanating from the top of his head to his neck and down his back. It felt as though someone had hit him with a sledgehammer after trying to drown him. Colorful visage but dreadfully unsatisfying. Artemis shook his suit free of dirt and blinked a few times to get past the fuzz clouding his vision. What had happened to him?
After scanning the nearby area and being bombarded with a million questions from his own mind, he remembered where he was. Azkaban. Pain. Screaming. Sobbing. Grandmother. Artemis winced at that last one. It was known in his family that his grandmother hated him. Especially since he was the spitting image of his father, the one who was blamed for driving her husband into the ground by using a corporate business move. His grandmother despised the boy and made up for it by slandering his mother, Angelina.
"The Fowl Name is a Heavy Burden, Boy. One of your lineage would never be called true Fowl and although that wretched mother of yours has married my youngest, you will never lay hand to the Fowl Fortune."
And indeed he did. He was marked completely out of his grandparents' lives and was revoked from ever gaining anything from the will or Fowl name except by means of his father's or his own hand. Artemis never spoke again to that horrid witch and her oldest son, His father's own brother, never once spoke to him.
Leaving the dark thoughts where they belonged, Artemis stood up and wobbled to the cell door, leaning against the bars, staring through the darkness that seemed to drape across the hall.
"Xander. Mitch. Are either of you awake?" He whispered.
"Ay, Awake but barely Alive." Xander said, muttering a curse. "We should have warned you before they came in."
"What were those. . . . things?" He asked, his breath coming out in a wispy cloud. Artemis inwardly shuddered. They touched something deep inside him. Something buried away beneath a heavy cloak of meditation and ill gotten nightmares. Something that should have stayed forgotten.
"Dementors." Mitch replied, clutching his side as he attempted and failed to stand up. "Keepers of Azkaban and wanderers of the ministry."
"Dementors." Artemis said, tasting the word on his tongue with unfavored venom. "What did they do to me?"
"They suck the happiness and joy of life strait from your soul," Xander said, pulling himself against the bars of his cell.
"What is it? An Abomination?" Artemis was stuck on the thought that that thing couldn't well be a human being. Perhaps magic was at work. If not, then some sort of machine, sedative or hallucination causing drug be the cause.
Xander stared at him.
"Abomination." He whispered. "That's exactly what it is."
"What is it, where did it come from?" Artemis asked him, inching forward. The Gears in Artemis's mind were grinding together at last, a plan surfacing. Know the enemy. Know the facts. Find the weakness. One Step at a time.
Xander just looked at him like he sprouted an extra head.
"What would a muggle boy like you want to know about Dementors? All you need to know is that they have Shadowed figures, skeletal body, black cape. A reaper of joy is the oxymoron to use. The less you know about them, the better." Xander snapped.
Mitch groaned.
"Come on Xander, he's a kid. Nothing more, nothing less." Mitch gave a crooked grin. "That's why he's in here. Xander wrote the wrong story at the perfect time. The Dementors were patrolling Hogwarts, a school, and some of the children were attacked. The Dementors were returned and many of them were 'locked away', same thing as killing' em. So Xander here was sent to investigate what set the Dementors off. Albus Dumbledore told him why he refused the Dementors and what had happened."
"So what had happened?" Artemis asked, ignoring Xander's earlier outburst and Mitch's uncomfortable pause.
Mitch nudged Xander who, rather reluctantly, leaned forward.
"Listen Kid, and listen well 'cause I'm only gonna say this once." Xander glanced around. "What I am about to tell you must remain a secret. No one outside of these two cells should hear what I am about to say, understand?"
Artemis Nodded.
"Dementors are Wizards and Witches that went over the Edge. That's the secret. Everyday when Fudge sends out an Auror or sometin to fight, a Dementor can be made with just a matter of words. There's a dark and light to everything Artemis but this . . . . This is different." Xander clasped his hands together, and rubbed them, trying to warm his numb fingers, "When a Wizard cast a forbidden spell or an unforgivable, a little bit of their soul goes into the spell. When you've cast the spell more times than your body's able," Xander cut off. "Most of the time, you die. If not, then you are transformed into a soulless being without a heart or even barely a mind." He gave Artemis a dark look, "A Dementor."
"You can't be serious. Spells? Witches? Hogwarts? Those things were couldn't have possibly have been people?" Artemis said incredulously.
"It's true I tell you!"
"Most of the Children attacked had some dark background or relationship to the person. That's why the Dementors are in Azkaban. That's why Fudge can't afford anyone who knows the secret to get out. The so called Soldiers of the wizarding world. It would ruin him!" Mitch exclaimed.
"Dumbledore found out. And then, he raised the biggest ruckus I ever heard. What's worse is the Golden boy wants to be an Auror. Dumbledore ain't got nutten against Aurors but The Golden boy could be easily swayed. Those are the types most likely to be become a Dementor."
"You see? Those things wasn't na good as humans and now they ain't na good at all. Their happiness and life were taken away by their own hands so now they want ter do the same to us."
Artemis was about to raise another question when a scream ran out through the cells.
"She's at it again." Mitch muttered with a look similar to disgust.
"Yep."
"Who?" Artemis asked, curious of the horrible sound reverberating off the walls.
"Igneous Illusions." Mitch and Xander answered.
"She was once a proud supporter of the Dark Lord but when he went down, so did she. She was a follower directly from Hogwarts. She had lots of degrees in spell casting and potions but most importantly, she cast the Imperius curse almost as many times as the Dark Lord himself."
"The Dark Lord?" Artemis whispered, a strange chill leaping up his spine. The same thing had happen when he heard of Jon Spiro. "Who is-"
"SHH!" Xander warned. "Don't. Here in the wizarding world, some questions are best left un answered."
Privet Drive
Harry Potter was bored.
It was one of the hottest days in June but for the life of him, there wasn't anything to do. He had finished all of his summer homework and even managed to reread all of his old text books. Divination homework was worked up to the psych level of delirium, history of magic was well defined and categorized ,Snape's essays had been edited to perfection and the list of transfiguration charms had been labeled, cross referenced and even identified by alphabetical order. Chores remained overdone and the Dursley's remained missing as they had claimed the living room a sanctuary from freaks. Harry had been forced to go outside to find something to do as Hedwig was out hunting and the air conditioner in the house made it hotter in there than out here.
He sighed; leaning back against the vinyl siding that was Uncle Vernon's new Tool shed. Dudley had gone on a rampage with a dirt bike he had gotten for Christmas last year. It wasn't pretty. Harry had spent the first week of summer finishing up the frame then actually putting on the siding. Dudley got a Motorcycle to replace the dirt bike. That shut him up for about three days.
Some summer this was. He needed to find something to do and keep his mind occupied. Something to distract him from thinking about school or the heat. Or Sirius.
Upon returning to Privet Drive, he had discovered something horrible. It wasn't that the Dursley's had moved him back to the broom closet. It wasn't Voldemort Sitting the front porch. It was Dudley, and his new girlfriend.
That's right.
G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D
Girlfriend with capitals.
A Pig faced blond girl with just as much flesh and flab as Dudley. Her Name was Gretchen. Apparently she had just moved here from Canada and planned to stay with a friend until her parents came down. Harry almost threw up when he saw Dudley place one sloppy kiss on her fleshy cheek.
That one display of disgusting affection would be enough to turn Snape green for weeks.
Gretchen was currently sitting on the living room couch with Dudders asking her every five minutes if he could get her something. Harry was also forced the house leave because the Dursley's thought he would put a spell or something on her. Or worse, one of his friends might send him an owl and the thing would fly into the Living Room.
He was still stuck outside in the heat with nothing to do.
Harry pulled himself up and stretched.
"Hed should be coming home soon." He said with yawn. "Maybe I can put some more into that potions essay."
Harry went up to the back door and let himself in, slipping into the kitchen and creeping up the stairs.
Glancing down, he spied The Dursleys on the couch, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon watching some daytime Soap Opera.
Where are Dudley and Gretchen?
A sound of high pitch giggling reached his ears. Dude's room isn't that close. . . Harry's eyes widened at the sound of broken glass.
His Wand and school supplies!!
Harry ran up the stairs and threw open the door.
"DUDLEY!"
Dudley and Gretchen were standing above his trunk, a ruined Dreamers book, a snapped wand and various Hogwarts candies lain out on his dresser. Dudley was eating a Flaming Cough drop and fire was erupting from his fat lips. Gretchen was laughing hysterically as her nose bleed, a Weasley candy wrapper imbedded in her fat hand. Harry's coldest glare landed on the pair of blondes.
"Dudley," He hissed. "Get out of my room." The Window abruptly opened letting in a blast of cold air. Dudley stared at him a moment with his beady eyes, a pill shaped candy in his meaty fist. Harry stepped forward as another blast of air raced the room. "Get Out Now." Without knowing, the Parseltongue language dripped fro his mouth, hisses filling the air with a deep and heavy hum.
It only took a second before Dudley scrambled past Gretchen, His fat fist reaching for the door as he stumbled into the hall. Gretchen gave one last terrified look at Harry before running into the hall and tripping down the stairs, screaming.
Harry slammed the door shut and stomped across the room to close the window. Ruined supplies, most likely ruined text books and he had no idea what else they had destroyed. Harry fumed, spouting verses of Parseltongue across his room.
He sat down on his bed after his rage had lowered a bit. He could still hear Gretchen sobbing downstairs.
"He's a Freak. He was hissing and he wouldn't share any of his cool candy!" She wailed.
Harry felt his insides boil but instead chose to lie back against his headboard. His green eyes drifted up to the ceiling and he couldn't help but wonder . . .
How am I going to get a new wand? He already had his new text books, a case in which the Dursley's had been forced to take him to Diagon Alley against their will. Perhaps He could go with Ron's dad or Remus.
Harry shuddered. Remus had recently been cold to him. He refused to reply to his letters and chose not to visit him when the rest of the order chose to do so. He knew exactly what kind of pain he was in but that seemed more of a reason to be together at this time. They both needed each other. They were each other's life lines.
Yet to Harry in those few weeks, it felt as though that line had been snapped.
Azkaban
Artemis was thinking. A Hobby if the young protégé could say otherwise, but in the current situation, it wasn't necessarily called thinking. It was called Plotting.
Mitch and Xander had long ago gone to sleep, their forms huddled against the side of their cell. The continuous wail of Igneous was giving him a migraine. A vein pulsed in his head as he tried to block out the sound. Silence. Peace. Mother. Father.
Such a big migraine that he was forced to do something he never thought possible.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He Shouted, slamming his fist against the wall, "I am sick and tired of your wailing. If you want to damage someone's eardrums do it in your own God forsaken time!" Artemis froze, his fist bleeding against the cold surface of the cell wall. The sobbing stopped then turned to horrid sniffling. Where did that come from? Artemis slumped down, a feeling of dread filling up his entire body. This Place was getting to him. This situation. This mistake. Artemis inhaled and exhaled in a repeated fashion, calming his nerves.
"I will get out of here even if it's the last thing I, Artemis Fowl, will ever do." He said with a vampiric smile.
Plans were made. Allies aligned. Cell bodies constructed and analyzed. Artemis worked for 72 hours strait, mending the perfect plan. He knew the schedules by heart and the thrill of a plan made to succeed gave him something to feed to the Dementors. Xander and Mitch didn't know yet that the Artemis Fowl wasn't a . . . as they said, "muggle boy" to mess around with. They helped him in his scheming until the day finally came for the execution of the plan. A plan that would require a little help from outside the two cells.
"She won't do it." Mitch argued. "Igneous Illusions speaks in riddles! You'll never get her help."
That's where your wrong my puppet.
"I'll guess I'll have to speak in rhymes then won't I?" Artemis said with a dark look in his eyes and a smile on his face.
For the last three days, he had slowly been working on a hole above his pallet slab. What had once been a small hole of about 3 centimeters wide was now a good 8 inches high and 6 inches across. This is how the plan would work. The Cells had no ceiling and the wall was only so high. If he were able to get someone to help him to get on top of the cell wall, he could slipped down the wall and down the floor, go strait through the hallways and on his way to freedom after fetching the keys from the Guard's office. Of course there was Mitch and Xander to worry about to so it would be harder. But as Xander said, the trick was talking Igneous into it.
Igneous Illusions slept on the floor at all times, never once getting off the floor of her cell. Food had been scarce these last few days and ,as Mitch and Xander had warned, it only got worse. Igneous Illusions was going to be sentenced to death after 15 years of Azkaban two days from now. That was her sentence. She had been caught for fifteen counts of the imperious curse so she had to endure fifteen years of punishment. After these years were carried out, she was to be kissed, and her body disposed of. Mitch and Xander said they would turn her or transfigure her into a dog and bury her at the foot of a Hellshire Monument in the front of Azkaban. Artemis wouldn't have known what exactly a Hellshire monument was; he was unconscious coming in here.
And know he was attempting to speak to something he couldn't see by talking through bars to a person in the cell next to him. Brilliant.
"Igneous. Igneous Illusions?" Xander cooed, like talking to a bird. Artemis listened assiduously, his mind working fast to unlock anything the strange woman might give away. "We got a friend that wants to talk to you." Artemis held his breath.
"Friend? By which an animal calls a meal." A raspy voice said with a cruel hiss. Artemis thought she might be old but not a hag. This would slow them down. "A friend bought a cage and shackled my foot. How do you think a friend by another name be a lie?"
Xander gave Artemis a Desperate look. Mitch gave him a smirk.
"See I told you." Mitch said, his chest puffing out. Artemis was not fooled by this form of dialect. She was switching the words around and replacing a choice few for other meanings.
"She saying she doesn't trust me. By which an animal calls a meal means she doesn't fear me. A friend bought a cage and shackled her foot means she knows betrayal when she sees it. How do you think a friend by any other name a lie is the same as in Romeo and Juliet. A Friend is still a friend even if by a different name." Artemis said plainly. Xander and Mitch stared at him, bewilderment on their faces. A cold cackle echoed out across the halls.
"Know your tales and you learn the woes. Tell me, Cub, What's your word?"
Artemis was bit disturbed at that Cub comment but answered.
"Artemis Fowl the Second, Ma'am."
"A Man of ease." Igneous chimed. "A boy or thwart? How till you age?"
"I am fourteen turning fifteen." Artemis replied. He paused. Should he ask now? "Ms. Illusions?"
"Tell?"
"I must ask you something. We need your help."
"A Toadstool for a kitten's tail? Why be an alligator in the tall grass ready to prey on unsuspecting children? If not the child, be a killer in baked skins."
"You are Going to die, Ms. Illusions." Artemis hissed, tired of the word games, "Unless your demise lays a kiss so sweet on your lips that love lingers like death's hand, I would advise you listen to me and stop speaking like you are from the Middle Ages." Artemis paused. "Or perchance, your death is warrant for something you repent for? Perhaps you feel so much guilt over serving the Dark Lord that you only wish to die to be free. Perhaps this is some crooked form of repentance for your mistake—-."
"I'LL NEVER DENY MY MASTER! HE IS THE VERY BLOOD THAT MAKES ME ABLE, THE LIFE THAT IS SO LONG DRAINED FROM FRAIL LIMB! I NEVER DENY THOSE THAT HAVE NOT FORSAKEN ME!" Igneous screeched in a high pitch wail.
Artemis smirked.
"Then get out. Get out with me, Xander, and Mitch. Introduce me to this 'Dark Lord' and show me this power that has you quivering so." Artemis said in a legato voice that seemed to be sung by angels with devil wings. Mitch and Xander were hanging onto the pale youth's every word. It was then that they realized that this was no muggle boy.
This was a demon with Blue eyes.
10 miles from Azkaban
Remus, Dumbledore, and Snape were taking the train to Azkaban. Albus Dumbledore was sitting in the seat by the window, staring out with baby blue eyes so sad it was like watching a sun die. Severus had a pair of thin rim glasses which kept sliding down to the very tip of his nose as he read a very big book on potions of the Mystical myth. During which, Remus was asleep, a dark brown coat pulled across the werewolf's thin frame. The Trolley had passed five times already and due to a large amount of paperwork, they had been unable to act sooner without facing moral danger at the hands of professional Aurors and Dementors at Azkaban's gates. Severus sighed.
What he wouldn't do for a whiskey right now.
The train trudged along.
That night the plan was to be done.
Artemis was on his slab, the hole directly in front of him. Igneous's pallet was equal to his on the other side of the cell wall. By theory and very unlikely measurements, the plant should work. Igneous was crawling up to her slab, a shuffling of what sounded like a dress behind her. Artemis looked into the hole and gasped.
"You're young!" He exclaimed. What he expected her to be was an old and crinkled woman but in fact she looked the same age as. . . .
His mother.
She could pass as Angelina. Her face was beautiful and her eyes and lips so full. Artemis was struck suddenly by his hormones. God he felt worthless.
"Well, Cub. Ready to forward this battle plan of ere?" She said in that dry scratchy throat voice. Image of beauty shattered.
"When was the last time you drank something?" Artemis asked. There was no way that was her real voice.
"Hydration Spells." She replied. "I don't need water to survive but the other effects other than dying are still placed. Part of my sentence. What better way to die than to be dying?" She indicated his foot. "Ready?"
"By my calculations, the wall is a good eight or so feet above me. If I can reach up along with you pushing me up, I should be able to reach the top."
"And if not?"
"I fall to my death."
"Fine by me."
Igneous put her hand through the hole and then her arm, slipping her other in with it.
"Ready boy?" She asked.
Artemis nodded and put one foot in her hand, hoisting himself upward. There wasn't much to latch on but he managed to grab on to the wall by the edge of his fingertips. He gritted his teeth as he tried to pull his body higher. Lifting his head, he looked up at how far he had to go. A good foot or two to go.
"Can you lift higher?"
"I can break an arm."
"That's nice." Artemis slid one of his arms up and grabbed for the edge. Almost!
Artemis felt his fingers loose grip and felt his body falling. He urgently tried to reach back for something and gave one desperate jump up, hanging on to the side of the cell wall. He inwardly smirked. This was good. Artemis pulled himself onto the cell wall that was a good few inches wide. Moving slowly, bit by bit, he made his way to the edge and looked down, securing his path of fall. Clear. Artemis twisted his head left and right securing the adjoining hallways. Clear. Artemis gulped. This was it. He had to do the perfect fall or else he would break something. Pulling his body around, he grabbed on to both cell doors and pulled his body down. After reaching the bottom, he let out a shaky breath. Mission accomplished. Now the Keys. Mitch and Xander were watching him with wide eyes, their bodies frozen in a trance. Other than that boy, only one person ever had enough sense to climb above the cell walls. Sirius Black.
"I'm going to go get the keys. It's the first office right Xander?" Artemis asked his tone low as to not awaken the other occupants of the room.
"Very first office." Xander confirmed. Just as Artemis turned to leave, Mitch called out to him.
"Artie."
"What?" Artemis asked as he turned.
"Don't die."
Artemis smirked and crept down the corridor, his feet making not a sound as Butler had taught him to do.
The Hallways were lined with more cells. Some were being patrolled by Dementors as was this section's schedule but others by wizard guards. Artemis scanned the area. In total, there were a pack of seven Dementors and sixteen guards. Heading into a closed off direction, away from the guards, Artemis headed to the first door he could find and gave a gentle twist to the knob, opening the door then closing it oh so gently. After rummaging around for a good 25 minutes, he managed to locate a set of keys that were all similar and numerous in numbers. Pocketing the keys, he crept back to the cells to open the gates.
Artemis seems so mean but he gets worse. . . Better! I mean better!
ANGELOFTHEO!