[I don't own Death note or any of it's characters or... something like that.]
****Authors note: Thank you for those that have reviewed. I hope there are to be more on this chapter the last only had one. Thank you for the person that reviewed. Please review or I'll slow the updates and go update Across an Ocean which seems to suddenly be in demand. Anyway please enjoy the chapter.

Before the time to flee

The blond had been sitting across the room typing on his computer for a while now without looking at the red head that had contended his time not with playing video games but straightening the house. He wondered if the blond noticed he had been acting strangely all day, if he had the other surely wasn't showing it going about his business as usual. He had decided to leave the apartment in the best condition that he could before running off with Matsuda. It felt so odd to be thinking about leaving the blond after all the years they had been together.

"Matt." He heard Mello called from the other side of the room as he instantly found himself turning to observe what the man wanted. The grip Mello held him in was so firm he was frightened what might happen if he left the blond. "Come here for a second." He watched as the blond man moved the computer off his lap setting it gently down on the coffee table. "Please."

Matt gently stepped forward but he found his feet moving before he wanted to positioning his body beside the arm couch the blond was sitting on. A strong arm snaked around his waist pulling him onto the others lap where he stiffened a bit unsure what he should do but he found an blond head on his shoulder and his body rocking gently with the other. Mello wasn't going to attack him, the man wanted comfort. He sighed gently leaning back relaxing slightly allowing the other to move him, "What's wrong Mell?"

The man remained quiet for a long while continuing to rock him before finding a voice, "What happened to my Matt?" He asked softly reaching up running his fingers though the others silky red locks, "What happened to the snappy comments. The triumphant smirk. The video game playing hacker that I fell in love with at Wammy house. The one that never cried and took every thing in stride. The one that didn't give a damn about the rest of the world as he had his smokes and game systems?" The blond seemed to be on the verge of tears when his breath caught at the end of the sentence. "The one that I could hold for hours without having him worry what I was going to do. The one that could offer me comfort silently. He didn't have to say a word and I understood everything. My Matty."

The red head frowned unsure what the other was talking about. He was frightened to respond that he was sitting on his lap be apparently the blond didn't believe that. He had asked where he was. Like he had changed over the past few months, he did feel something was wrong with him but he had never thought of himself as a different person. He was Matt. Mail Jeevas, the red head gamer from Wammy house ranked third behind Near and Mello. That was just the thing he wasn't Mail Jeevas or Matt, he was someone else. Someone that didn't have a name in Mello's world or his own, he had changed and now that he realized it, the thought frightened him greatly.

Mello shifted the red head in his arms so that the boy was looking into his blue eyes. "I miss how we used to be before the incident. Why did you do it Matt? why would you take yourself from me? What would I do without you Matty. I couldn't live." He kissed the other gently on the lips his fingers threading though his hair again. He was losing control of the red head and it hurt. Before he had such a firm grip on him, he knew exactly who Matt was, what type of person he was but now the ropes that had bound them together so tightly were only mere threads and it was frightening to him. He would do anything in the world to tighten those strands again and make Matt, Matt. Anything. "I don't want to hurt you again but-" He looked away, he had to keep the red head with him somehow and fear seemed to be the only way but it wasn't working anymore. He had ran into the arms of that other man and it had made Matt even more foreign.

Matt nodded slowly feeling the fingers petting through his hair as he whined softly, "I-I don't know Mello." He breathed gently feeling the other kiss over his neck. "Maybe I need a break."

Mello frowned, "A break? Or a break from me?" The other didn't respond before looking away slowly. He understood Matt wanted to leave him for a while but if that's what it would take. "Where are you going?" He asked gently as Matt shrugged and Mello understood instantly. "You've been planning this." He hissed his voice dropping greatly as Matt stood up before the other could get to him. "You've been planning on leaving me after you promised!"

"What the fuck do you want from me Mello? I'm an emotional wreak! I can't think straight! I'm black and fucking blue and I think you fractured a rib last night and all you can think about is yourself. I'm sorry I'm not your Matt but you made me this way! All you did was make me this way! All those words, the curses, the mental slaps and mind games. I was already fucked over from Wammy house and all you did was become another Roger probing deeper and deeper and now you bitch about me not being myself. If you think I'm broken it's you damn fault!" He was nearly screaming at the other before he stepped back realizing he hadn't had a cigarette since the day before. He needed one and he needed one bad.

Mello didn't respond watching him head down the hallway. He slipped the cigarette out of his pocket lighting up before opening a window. He whined gently staring out the window as he blew his smoke out feel arms around his waist again.

The blond leaned forward, "You can go out and have your fun but if I find out there's something you didn't tell me I'm going to break you Matty. I'm going to make sure that you can't leave me...I'll make you permanently mine so that you'll never need anyone but me again. " He stepped back leaving Matt alone in the room.

Matt sighed picking up his cellphone texting Matsuda, 'Change of plans. I'll meet you somewhere and we'll go.' He sighed leaning against the wall.

[So yeah, when Matt goes out to play Mello shall follow. Nothing is going to be easy for either of them, it's about to get interesting. Maybe a fight or something, I don't know. Also, there will be a few tag alongs during the beach trip. You'll see, if you review. Please do.]