Author: Veefa
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, and all associated characters from the Harry Potter universe are the property of J.K. Rowling and publishers. No profit is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
This story contains slash, meaning same sex relationships. If you do not like, do not read. Consider yourself forewarned.
Summary: An answer to Artemis Luna Diana's "The Accidental Marriage" Challenge.
"No one can dictate whether two people truly belong to each other." But something has and now Harry Potter has been married without his consent. Is everything he believes about love going to be tested or reaffirmed? (Slash, HP/SS)
Chapter 6
"Have a seat, Lupin. Would you like some tea?"
Far be it from him to be so accommodating, but Severus would just as sooner not have the upcoming conversation.
"Tea would be lovely, Severus. Thank you."
Severus gave one short nod and busied himself with the tea. What he wouldn't give to not have this dreaded conversation. Or a few more doses of Calming Draught. But he would rather subject himself to Longbottom's potion-making prowess than show any sign of weakness.
"Are they not keeping you busy enough at the Ministry that you can come all the way to Hogwarts to harass me?" asked Severus.
"I'm plenty busy," replied Remus. "But when you are head of your own department, you get to make your own rules."
"You are an established Gryffindor," scoffed Severus. "Don't you mean break' the rules?"
"That too," said Remus with a lopsided grin.
Remus watched as Severus went through the familiar motions of making tea. Usually, the ritual would take place after he had picked up his Wolfsbane potion, but the unexpected news of Severus's marriage pre-empted their regular monthly chats. And while they had settled into a comfortable rapport years before, Remus noticed the tension in Severus's shoulders.
As soon as Severus proffered a cup of tea for Remus, Severus made his way to the seat across from him. Remus took a polite sip and waited for Severus to situate himself before he repeated his earlier sentiment.
"I know that this must be hard for you."
Severus lifted his head from the industrious study of his own tea and patronizingly said, "Is that so? I did not realize that you were privy to that kind of knowledge."
"Although we may not have been the best of friends" Remus ignored Severus's undignified snort and continued, "I have known you all my life."
What went unsaid was that Remus was a consummate master of observation. In the years passing Sirius's untimely fall through the veil, Remus had developed a habit of keeping a protective eye on those he considered as part of his pack. Not that Remus ever made Severus aware of his inclusion. Remus preferred not to endure any resulting ridicule about lupine social structures.
In any case, Remus felt he had a good understanding of the inner musings of Severus Snape. And after turning a blind eye from the cruelty of his childhood friends namely James and Sirius and letting that aggression go unchecked, he could no longer abide passively standing by.
It is this understanding that led him to being in Severus's chamber sipping tea and contemplating the best way to broach a sensitive subject without getting a severe tongue lashing.
Remus tried a different opening gambit, "Did I ever tell you that I found myself attracted to you?"
Severus was glad that he didn't take a sip of his tea yet. Otherwise, it would have been spewed across the table in a re-enactment of Albus's coughing and sputtering in his office earlier that morning. Severus prided himself on the fact that he had recovered quickly enough to answer with "I never knew."
"That is because I never let on the depth of my feelings. I didn't think that such a pursuit would have been welcomed."
Remus privately thought that not only would it not have been welcomed, it would not have been received seriously. Severus would not have believed that someone was attracted to him, let alone could love him which Remus gathered was still the crux of the problem.
"Are you still attracted to me?" Severus asked, half afraid of the answer (whether it was a yes or no).
"While I still find you *attractive*, I am no longer attracted to you. In any case, I had sensed your reluctance to enter into a relationship with anyone let alone me."
Remus paused to let Severus gauge the truth of his words. Severus could not refute Remus's last statement, so he said nothing.
"Severus, why won't you let anyone in?"
Many years ago, when Severus was a young boy attending Hogwarts, he fell in love with his closest friend.
Lily Evans.
As Severus lacked the confidence and charisma to gain attention and make friends, Lily was essentially the only one to defend him against the constant bullying he was subjected to. In Severus's eyes, that earned her the distinguished role of being his closest friend.' Even if she wasn't aware of it.
Lily seemed to embody boundless compassion. Having seen the casual cruelty inflicted upon others by her sister and her boyfriend, she always made a point to be exceedingly nice to others and treat people as she would like to be treated.
Severus never had anyone defend him so fiercely. He admired her courage to go against the grain and the whim of popularity to come to his aid. Quite frankly, it was a mystery to him. He just couldn't imagine someone being so selfless; they certainly had no place among his ambitious Slytherin housemates. So he watched in wariness and wonder and came to see her inner beauty as well as outer beauty.
But even as he admired her, Severus resented her just as strongly. Her defense of him emphasized his weakness and he abhorred that. It made him feel inadequate and unworthy of his name, his house, her defense, her friendship. So he lashed out at her to salvage his pride, yet she continued to defend him against James Potter and his cronies. While he was confused by her actions and motivations, he admired her tenacity and integrity.
Then one fateful day, Lily lashed back.
The events preceding it were all variations on a theme. It was a well-rehearsed play where the roles of antagonist and protagonist were frequently reversed. This time Severus was intercepted by Potter and Black for yet another bout of bullying.
It started when Potter said, "How'd the exam go Snivelly?"
From there, it degenerated to what amounted to an exercise in abject humiliation. And once again, Lily came to his aid.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" she shouted.
Severus will never forget how he responded to her defense. Needless to say, he did not accept it graciously.
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"
Then she punished him for his ingratitude with her next words.
"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future." [1]
It was one of Severus's worst memories. Not only because of the pain and humiliation inflicted upon him, but mostly because of the pain he had inflicted upon someone else. Someone who did not deserve such treatment. And Lily did not deserve to be insulted in such a way, especially when she did not stand to benefit from his rescue.
It made Severus question his own character and sense of righteousness. He did not even subscribe to the much-touted belief in the superiority of Purebloods. It was just a convenient slur. In hindsight, his use of that foul epithet depicted the onset of his approach to the cusp of a slippery slope. A slope he would spend decades trying to claw his way back up.
Severus believed that a backlash of cruelty was inevitable, and he was certain that Lily would never come to his aid again. But she surprised him later that day, when she sought him out and apologized. He didn't answer just swallowed through the lump in his throat and gave a short nod of acceptance and a large piece of his heart at that point. Not that he ever acted on it; he knew it to be unrequited. Because Severus was the kind of person that would never ask for anything unless he was assured to receive it.
Even still, he was wholly unprepared for the betrayal to his heart.
Severus found them in a clench in a darkened hallway his schoolboy crush and his undisputed rival. Lily Evans and James Potter. Clearly, they were singularly engrossed with one another and, thus, were not alerted to his approaching footsteps. He almost wished that they were more circumspect of their surroundings. It would have saved him from having to witness their passionate embrace.
At the sight of them, Severus felt something in his chest tighten and was engulfed by an overwhelming sense of disappointment and betrayal. His hands curled into fists at his sides. His nails dug into his palms. He suspected that the queasiness building in the pit of his stomach would not have been as pronounced if it was anyone else besides James Potter.
Anyone else besides this boy who constantly tortured him.
Granted, ever since the Shrieking Shack incident, Potter never instigated anything anymore. And considering that they were all sworn to secrecy, Severus suspected that Lily did not know about the malicious prank that he had been subjected to.
He was no stranger to wretched disappointment. But this was sharper, and it cut deeperit seemed to pain his heart physically. He was dimly aghast at how much.
It convinced him of the foolishness of emotions if it could lead a pure, selfless girl like Lily to love an undeserving bloke like James Potter.
Not to say that he never entered into a relationship from that point on, but as first loves do, it prefaced every relationship he ever considered or committed to thereafter. And for each relationship that failed, he hardened his heart and steeled his resolve to never risk or trust it again.
However, it seemed like his heart was at risk yet again.
Thinking back on his past, it occurred to Severus that Remus was accurate in his assessment in that he found it difficult to open up emotionally and let anyone in. And although he could admit that to himself, he couldn't verbalize the answer to Remus's question.
However, Remus did not expect an answer. He just contradicted Severus's thoughts and said, "You are a great man, Severus worthy of anybody's affections. The Goblet has chosen someone who will complement you in every way. You should give them a chance and grasp at this chance at happiness."
Such a declaration of optimism and positive encouragement was met with "Shouldn't you be delivering this little pep talk to Potter?"
Remus shot him a look of outright confusion. "What about Harry?"
He doesn't know!' Severus was taken aback because, although it was true that the marriage was not a matter of public record until the bond was complete, Harry was a celebrity. Therefore, it wouldn't have surprised him in the least if it was leaked to the press, possibly from the Weasely camp or, more likely, from the slighted party whom Miss Weasley was *supposed* to petition the Goblet with.
Relief was at the forefront of his mind.
Such a revelation eased Severus's mind as it meant that word most likely had not yet gotten out about his unexpected pairing with Potter. He was not looking forward to all the Howlers he would surely receive for contaminating the Savior of the Wizarding World. In fact, he thought Lupin was the first in line for a nasty confrontation. Instead, the werewolf was encouraging him to embrace this marriage.
"Never mind," dismissed Severus. "I will think about what you said."
Remus gave a pleased smile in response.
"If you will excuse me, Lupin, I have to deliver these Calming Draughts to Madam Pomfrey," said Severus, looking for an excuse to escape and think.
"Of course," acquiesced Remus as Severus's offhand comment prompted him to search for Harry straightaway.
After ushering Lupin to the door, Severus levitated the crate of Calming Draughts and spelled it follow him to the infirmary. Despite his assurance to Lupin, he assiduously avoided contemplating his love life or lack thereof in the short walk through the school.
When he arrived at the doorway to the infirmary, he was greeted by the voice of Madam Pomfrey berating a student.
"What were you thinking flying in your condition? Do you think that I patch you up, just to send you off to injure yourself again? I expect you to have better sense."
He smirked in amusement as an exasperated Madam Pomfrey treated the student to a rant filled with frustration and disappointment. As he stepped into the infirmary fully, he noticed that it was not a student but Professor Potter. Potter was sitting on one of the beds with his head hanging down in shame, while Poppy chastised him.
"I expected you to be taking better care of yourself. Especially since it hasn't even been a week since you were here for injuries from your foray into Romania," admonished Poppy. "What did I tell you then?"
"You said"
Before Harry had a chance to finish, Poppy cut him off and said, "I told you that you have to take it a little easy since you lost a lot of blood and that you have to replenish your nutrients with a proper diet. Take it easy does *not* mean overexert yourself flying in the hottest hour of the day. And I don't even want to know what you've been considering as sustenance."
Harry winced at the thought of what Poppy would do if she found out what he had for lunch. He didn't think that chocolate cake was included in a proper diet.'
"It's a good thing that the Quidditch pitch has a constant buffer spell on it to prevent serious injury to freefalling players and *reckless idiots* like you. Otherwise, you would have undone all the work I did this past weekend. You ended up only spraining your wrist *this* time. You better take care of yourself or, Merlin help me, I will see to it that your broom is taken away and that you are monitored around the clock," reprimanded Poppy.
When it looked like Poppy wasn't going to continue her scolding, Harry said apologetically, "I'm sorry, Poppy. I promise I'll take it easy."
Poppy scoffed in disbelief. Not that he wouldn't try, just that he had a knack for getting into trouble foray in Romania doing Merlin knows what for the Ministry, case in point.
Apparently, someone else came to the same conclusion as she heard a snort of amusement that echoed her sentiments.
"Ahh, SeverusWhat brings you to the infirmary? No injury I hope." Poppy said as she gave Severus's body a cursory inspection for injuries.
Severus indicated to the crate of Calming Draughts floating behind him. "I just came to deliver my latest batch of potions." He released the levitation charm and set the crate down next to her desk.
"Thank you, Severus."
Poppy bent down to pluck a few vials from the crate. She peered at a few of the labels and asked, "Are *all* of these Calming Draughts? Uh, wow, Severus. You've certainly been busy umthat is a lot of Calming Draughts. Do you happen to know of some future nefarious plan that will cause an inordinate amount of distress that I should know about?"
"I'll be sure to endeavor," Severus deadpanned.
While Poppy gave an uneasy smile, Professor Potter chuckled outright and drew her attention.
"Well, Harry. I think you are in good enough condition to return to your rooms. Remember what I said." Then Poppy thought better of it and said, "Severus, can you please escort him to his quarters to see that he does just that?" While she leaves the room taking the Calming Draughts along to store them in the infirmary's potion cabinet, she continued over her shoulder, "Take care of him."
Both parties stilled at Madam Pomfrey's last statement, which inevitably triggered thoughts of their last encounter.
"Going to take care of me, Professor?"
"What would possess me to do that, Potter?"
"Well, there is the fact that," Harry leaned over, so that they were eye-level as Severus had done in the Headmaster's office and reiterated, "We. Are. Married."
Not wanting to acknowledge what came after and make an already awkward moment even more awkward, Severus and Harry stared at each other unblinkingly. Only the sound of Madam Pomfrey closing the potion cabinet in the next room prompted them into action. Studiously avoiding each other's eyes (and lips), they both shuffled to the exit to comply with Madam Pomfrey's directive.
After searching for Harry at his quarters and classroom, seeking clarification on Severus's vague comment, Remus hastily made his way to the infirmary having heard from a student that Harry had fallen off his broom. When he got there, he was greeted by the sight of Severus and Harry exiting the infirmary.
The tension in the air was palpable, even without his heightened senses. It was then that Remus understood. He beamed with happiness for his two pack mates.
Remus silently hoped that Severus would heed his words from this afternoon and ensure himself a smooth consummation. Already out of earshot, he whispered, "Many happy returns to you both." With that, Remus made his way off the Hogwarts premises already planning a private celebration.
The walk back to Harry's chambers was rife with anxiety, each remembering the incident in the kitchen and at a loss on how to recover their former comfort level with each other.
"You don't have to follow me back," Harry said.
"I feel duty bound by Poppy's request to accompany you and ensure you are . . . taking care of yourself," Severus replied.
They reached Harry's door in silence and halted before entering. Harry turned and looked up at Severus's face. "Duty bound, huh? I don't want you to feel obligated," Harry said disappointedly.
Severus hesitated before answering, "I want to."
Which seemed to be the right words because the wards were dropped and both promptly entered Harry's rooms.
* I have to apologize profusely to everyone that thought I was abandoning this. Honestly, it never crossed my mind to do so as I have already invested a lot of time and effort. (Case in point: This has grown to about 50 pages in MS Word as future chapters have been planned and partially/fully written.) I know it's been a long time since I posted. In my last note, I mentioned that my writing was interrupted by packing, moving, unpacking, and settling. Well, I actually went through that process again funnily enough, back to the state that I formally resided. Throw in a marriage as well and there you go. But the main reason I haven't been timely was because.
I haven't read HBP or DH.
I heard a few rumors (spoilers, perhaps?), and it put me off as some of the characters that I've included in my story may or may not be on the side of good' and some may (or may not) bewell, dead. Needless to say, not reading these last two books played a large part as to why I haven't posted anything for awhile. By the way, I *still* have not read them, so this is just my extrapolation and interpretation of certain events that took place in canon previously (such as Snape's Worst Memory [1]). Therefore, this piece of work may not be compliant. So please don't spoil it for me.
Like the previous chapter, this gave me trouble because I originally wrote this with Lucius Malfoy in mind. I couldn't bear to delete all of it though, so here's a drabble for anyone who cares to read it.
Severus paused to size the man up. He tried to discern the man's intentions, but decided he didn't want to play anymore games. With a put-on sigh, he said wearily, "Lucius, you are most unwelcome here. Get out."
"That isn't any way to speak to an old friend."
"We are hardly friends."
"But you wish we were and more" said Lucius with a smirk.
"Wished, Lucius, wished. As in past tense. A mistake that I refuse to make again. I do not harbor any feelings for you except utter disdain."
"And what of your husband?"
Severus doesn't deign to give him an answer.
"Remember, Severus. Your heart belongs to me."
"Correction it belongs to no one. Least of all you."
I want to thank everyone that reviewed as it serves as a constant reminder that there are people out there that are hoping that I am not going to abandon this story. Personal thanks to starangel2106, HecateDeMort, Chrissie, alliekatgal, hazel-3017, risi, Felinity, Cydah, Sky, harrypottermove over, CannonFodder, Amanda Saitou, Your Huckleberry, jenonymous, Heather, dmweasley, Lasitar, robindragon, iamtherealmaverick, Deritine, mea, Vyxagallanxchi, x Red Rose x, black blade, Anne Phoenix, walker-of-the-shadow-path, Eagle-Eyes, Lurk, Luceid, zafaran, MPS, Goldensong, animeangel088, insanechildfanfic, pegasus writing-dragon, TanyaPotter , Sable Gloom, syn-cop-e, Ore no Naruto, Morgana-White, sammijo, Smm91, Solaria, byarenfan, softmouse, Bom hasamaki, Strawberry Danger, and Lumcer. My gratitude and apologies to you all!
While I may know how it is going to end, I definitely want to share it with you all. Hopefully, it won't take long to update again.