A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! Seriously, my mind has been a blank lately… so please bear with me if this chapter isn't that funny…

Anyway, again, THANK YOU ALL SO, SO, SOO MUCH for your reviews! I'm so happy so many people like this story!! And also a big thanks and a bear hug to those who suggested stuff for me to use!! MWAH!

Okay, readers have asked me how I'm writing this, as in do I have the actual game board right in front of me, or am I making all of this up... well, to answer for their sakes and for the sakes of all those who also want to know, I do have the actual game, but to save me the trouble of opening the board, making reference here and there (it's a HUGE board...), I copied everything by hand, into a little notebook I always use for story notes... so everything I need is in there... there was actually a moment after I moved houses when I thought I lost it... I was HYSTERICAL with panic... haha! So, yeah, that's it, any more questions feel free to ask away...

Alright then, so here's:

Chapter Seven- Movie Premieres and Mistresses

11:03 p.m.

"That wasn't funny, Jasper," I retorted, my cheeks still hot. "That was so embarrassing!"

He only let out another laugh, much to my annoyance. "I'm sorry, Bella. But come on, don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

My blush reached critical mass. "W-well... yeah..." I mumbled, glancing at Edward, whose glare softened into a warm smile as he shifted focus from Jasper to me.

"I am so taking the beach house now," declared Emmett laughingly, throwing the other House card in my direction, along with a hundred and forty thousand dollars. "And away we go!" he exclaimed, sending the game wheel into a fast spin, which stopped on '4'. He peered at the game board. "What? I have to pay five thousand bucks just to furnish a baby room?" He sat up, his jaw dropping in apparent disbelief. "I don't even have a baby!"

"But you're expecting one," remarked Rosalie offhandedly.

"No, I'm–" Emmett suddenly broke off, seeing Rosalie's fine eyebrows rise dangerously high into her forehead. "Um, yes, I am, thank you! Silly me… here Bella!" He handed me a five-thousand-dollar note, a too-large grin pasted on his pale face. "Jasper, your turn."

"With pleasure…" Jasper twisted the wheel, which stopped on '3', but not before Alice inhaled a piercing gasp that rattled my ears. "What, what's wrong?" he demanded wildly.

"Alice?" said Edward, his entire body stiff with alertness. I regarded her horrified expression with one of my own. What did she just see?

She looked around at each of us with glassy eyes, in utter silence. That is, until Rosalie leaned forward, gave the game board a curious glance, and said, in a grim voice:

"Twins."

Before any one of us could reply, Alice released a scream: "TWINS! WE HAVE TWINS!"

"Oh my God, I have three children…" whispered Jasper, clutching the collar of his shirt uncertainly.

"Don't scare us like that, Alice!" barked Edward in annoyance, slumping against his chair and folding his arms. "Your mind was in complete turmoil!"

Alice didn't bother to hear him. "Twins, twins, twins, I have twins!" she sang merrily, grabbing two blue pegs and plunging them into Jasper's car, which had somehow moved.

"Jasper has twins, not you," murmured Emmett, rolling his eyes.

Alice stuck out her tongue at him. "You're just jealous you don't have any–"

"You don't have any either," muttered Emmett, and I giggled.

"–Jasper, sweetie," continued Alice, "what should we name them?"

Jasper looked sideways at her. "Uh…"

"Well," she interrupted, pointing a manicured finger at the pink peg, "I decided to name the girl Zara Milan –isn't that pretty?– and as for the boys, this is Ted Cole and Marc Klein… AUREA!" she suddenly cried out, making me jump again.

"Excuse me?" asked Emmett. "And Marc Klein what?"

Alice shook her head. "No, no, his name is just Marc Klein… I meant 'Aurea' is the name of the TV with the colors coming off the screen! I just remembered! It's by Philips… ooh, that's a good name…"

"Is it just me, or are those names all brands?" I asked curiously.

"They're combinations of brands," corrected Alice with a grin.

"I'm not naming my children after retail stores!" exclaimed Jasper.

Alice gasped. "They're not retail stores! How dare you call them that?"

"Okay, moving along, MOVING ALONG," I declared, trying to avoid yet another spat between the couple. "It's our turn!" I leaned forward and flicked the game wheel into an awkward spin.

"Can you be any more graceful?" commented Rosalie in a cool voice. I narrowed my eyes at her, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, looks like we're finally buying a house of our own, Bella my love," said Edward, straightening. In a manner that was definitely graceful –beyond comparison– he picked up the remaining House cards and spread them out facedown into a perfect fan before me. "Choose wisely."

"I'll try," I told him playfully, and I shut my eyes and drew two cards. "Okay, what are they?" I asked, opening my eyes and holding the cards up towards him.

He cocked his head to one side, letting silken strands of his bronze hair fall across his smooth forehead. Impulsively I reached out and brushed them aside. He grinned.

"Well," he said in a sensuously slow voice, "we have two drastically contrasting houses to choose from. One is a Victorian, a little above our current budget…"

"Ooh, what's the description?" asked Alice eagerly; I noticed she was fondly fingering the three people pegs in Jasper's car.

"It's a 'blithering heights realty'… I know that pleases you," he added, winking at me. "With a 'library, servants' quarters, marble fireplaces' and a 'wraparound porch'."

"Hmm, what to do with all that space…" I said in mock thoughtfulness.

"Entertain us?" suggested Rosalie nonchalantly.

"Oh, that reminds me," spoke up Carlisle, "Esme, guess who decided to call to say they might be dropping by for a visit."

Esme's face lit up. "Oh, are they? That'll be fun!"

"They're coming?" gasped Alice. "All of them?"

I inclined my head. "Um, who's coming, if you don't mind me asking?"

Carlisle smiled. "Of course we don't mind, Bella, and to answer your question, the Denali clan."

I frowned as the familiar name buzzed around my head. And then it hit me. "The one with… Tanya?"

"Yup," affirmed Alice. "So when are they coming? I… oh…" She trailed off into silence, her golden eyes flicking over to settle on Edward, who then gave the slightest of nods.

I ignored this silent exchange, however, for an uncomfortable wave of anxiety was flowing through my system. "Carlisle, um," –I cleared my throat– "how long are they planning to stay?" I realized that the question was uncalled for, since it was, after all, none of my business to ask about their family matters, but I was too worried about the idea of Tanya visiting.

Carlisle looked at me intently, as if understanding my dilemma. "Well, they are still deciding whether they should come or not, but they mentioned maybe a few weeks or so."

I nodded, my anxiety slightly, and just slightly, abating.

And then Edward spoke my actual feelings.

"You're not… jealous, are you, Bella?"

I glanced at him. "No," I said a little too quickly.

His angelic face broke out into a deeply amused grin, which only made me scowl. "You know how much I love you, Bella," he murmured.

"Then why are you smiling?" I demanded. "You should be serious when you say you love me."

"I'm smiling because you look so cute when you're flustered."

I blushed at once. "Don't think that makes me feel any better," I squeaked.

He laughed. "I love you, and only you. Besides, I told you I prefer brunettes."

"But she's pretty," I scoffed. "She's a vampire for crying out loud! And she might still harbor feelings for you, so she might use her prettiness to get your attention!"

"Wow," breathed Emmett, grinning widely, "we finally get to witness Bella being jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" I insisted.

"No use denying it," chirped Alice.

Annoyance replaced my anxiety. "I'm not! And to prove it you, I'm going to ask you to describe the different ways Tanya hit on Edward."

"Oh Bella…" sighed Edward, but I raised a hand to shush him.

"I don't think you can handle it, Bella," commented Rosalie in a superior tone.

"If I couldn't handle it, I wouldn't have asked! Now tell me how she hit on Edward!"

The four younger Cullens exchanged amused looks.

"Wait, wait…" spoke up Edward, and he gathered some of our money and placed them in the bank. "Let's finish our turn first. Bella, I chose the log cabin. Eighty thousand dollars only. Now spin, please."

"Fine," I said coolly, twisting the game wheel, which halted at '1'. "Pay day. OH, PAY DAY!" In a moment of glee I grabbed a hundred thousand dollars from the bank.

"And pay up," said Jasper, holding out a hand. "You bought my art."

"No difference!" I told him cheerfully, giving him a ten-thousand-dollar note.

Emmett let out a loud humph. "Now I'm depressed again, so I will tell you one of the most extravagant ways Tanya hit on Edward."

I made the gesture of rolling up my sleeves. "Bring it on, big guy."

He smirked. "She went up to him," he whispered in a dramatically slow voice, "wearing nothing but a towel."

Everything –my insides, the world around me– shattered into a million pieces. "WHAT?" I shrieked.

"Fresh from the shower," added Rosalie smugly.

My jaw couldn't have dropped any lower. "THAT SLU-!" I clamped my mouth shut, suddenly wary of Carlisle's presence. "Sorry…" I muttered. "I'm calm. Continue."

"It was a very small towel…" remarked Alice.

"And very thin," said Emmett. Rosalie threw him a frown, and he shrugged. "Not that I noticed…"

I took a deep breath. "Then what did she do?"

"She didn't interest me, that's what," said Edward. "Bella, you're being ridiculous… I love you–"

"Shhh!" I hissed. "What did she say, did she say anything?"

Edward pursed his lips together, obviously miffed.

"Well," said Alice thoughtfully, "she was actually very subtle, making small talk about this and that, but you should know she's a natural charmer."

"She was in that towel for most of the afternoon," said Rosalie casually. "She only changed when she was completely dry."

"If only vampires can get frost-bite…" I muttered under my breath.

Emmett let out an audible snicker. "She was all over Edward, Bella," he said brightly.

I scowled at him. "Like how?"

He grinned, and then turned to Jasper, who regarded him with a suspicious frown. "Oh, Edward," cooed Emmett in an exaggeratedly high-pitched voice, "are you alright? You're looking a bit paler than usual. Is there anything I can do?" Then, much to my horror and disgust, he arched his back in a manner that blatantly revealed the contours of his chest. "Just tell me," he murmured, pressing his arms tightly against his body, "and I'll do it."

"You are so degrading her, Emmett," remarked Alice with a laugh, as Jasper dragged his chair nearer to hers. "She was nothing like that!"

Emmett frowned. "You're right. She was a lot worse… her legs were all, like this…" He shifted on his chair as he attempted to cross his legs.

"Shame on you, Emmett," commented Carlisle in a disapproving tone. "Tanya's a lovely girl with good morals."

"Except when it comes to monkey-scared Edward," said Rosalie with a tight smile.

"I'm not going to comment on that remark," hissed Edward through clenched teeth.

I rubbed my hands together. "Okay, fine, what else did she do?"

"Bella, you don't have to prove to me anything," said Edward firmly.

"Shut up, Ed, this is fun," declared Emmett, waving a dismissive hand. "So, alright, that was one thing she did. Another thing she did was… eh…"

"Play with her hair every waking moment," said Alice. "Twirling and twirling it like there was no tomorrow. Really, I felt like telling her to get a curling iron."

"Oh, I remember that…" moaned Jasper, raking a hand through his own hair.

"What's the color of her hair again?" I asked curiously. "Oh yeah, you said you prefer brunettes, so she's–"

"Strawberry blonde," muttered Edward.

I whipped around to gape at him, suddenly feeling something bite my heart. I hardly noticed the sudden silence that met the air. "You do like her!" I exclaimed.

"He shouldn't have answered…" muttered Jasper.

Emmett nodded in mock seriousness. "Rule number one, Edward: never recall a feature of an ex-girlfriend when in the presence of the current girlfriend. I should know."

Edward exhaled slowly. "Bella," he said calmly, taking my hands in his, "I don't like her, and I never did. I love you, and only you, and I always will."

"How can I be so sure that you won't be tempted by her?" I snapped.

All of a sudden I was no longer in my chair; a blur of colors swept past my eyes, and then, before I knew it, I was standing in Edward's room on the first floor.

"Bella," he said again, and I blinked to orient myself, "you're being ridiculous. She will never tempt me. Besides, we're not even sure she's coming."

I pouted. "Was it that necessary to bring me all the way up here?" I muttered irritably. "And she's still pretty…"

"You've never even met her!" he said with a slight laugh. "Come on, stop being so childish, my love."

"Your love?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "Prove it."

He sighed. "You're just trying to get me to kiss you, aren't you?"

I shrugged in an indifferent manner. "Well, if you really love me…"

Something cold yet soft pressed against my lips then, silencing me. After a second, however, the sensation was gone.

"That's it?" I exclaimed at the grinning Edward. "That's how much you love me?"

"No, how much I love you is suggested by the herculean control I have over myself to resist taking you right now."

Before I could register his words –despite the minuteness of the kiss, it had still left me slightly giddy in the head– I was swept off my feet once again, and suddenly I found myself in my seat around the dining table on the ground floor.

"Really, Edward," remarked Emmett, "if you were going to do just that to her, you didn't have to go all the way upstairs and block out our thoughts."

"I needed her to see reason," replied Edward calmly. "Without your interference."

"So you're okay now, Bella?" asked Alice smilingly.

I stared at her in momentary shock. "Y-yeah, I am."

"Good, my turn!" she cried, leaning forward and twisting the game wheel. I watched it spin lazily for a brief moment, until something occurred to me that made me pause.

"Wait… isn't it Rosalie's turn?" I asked, scratching my head, which was beginning to hurt just a bit – so many things were happening at the same time: as was always the case with this family.

"We finished our turns while you were gone, dear," said Esme kindly.

"You did?" I gasped incredulously. Weren't we upstairs for like a second? I wondered in confusion. It was so… fleeting… maybe we didn't go upstairs…?

"If we played this game at our normal speed, we would've finished by now," said Rosalie matter-of-factly.

I gaped at her. "So… all this time you were playing slowly for my sake?"

"Nah, just to kill the night more," remarked Emmett with a toothy grin. I automatically glanced at the clock.

11:16 p.m.

I frowned. "Well… if that's the case… so what did we miss?'

"Nothing big," answered Alice. "Rosalie got her salary, Carlisle and Esme bought a luxury cruise online via my help, thus earning myself a hefty twenty-five thousand dollars… and now…" She picked up her yellow car and made it hop along the path (the wheel had stopped on '4'), but then her hand paused in midair, and her face fell dramatically. "Now I have to attend a Hollywood movie premiere!"

"Isn't that exciting?" I asked curiously.

"Not if you have to pay five thousand dollars!" she whined.

"And to the entertainer," said Edward smugly, glancing at the game board. "See how our career is rising, my love?" He held out a hand, and Alice slammed a five-thousand-dollar note onto his palm with a loud humph.

I smirked at him. "I'm pretty sure it's all by your doing. Dazzling our way to greatness. You know, I bet the media don't even know me! I bet this movie is all you, probably called something like, 'Inhuman Beauty', starring you as the main protagonist, and me as an unimportant character who appears for like five seconds!"

"Now I would never star in a movie like that," he remarked, looking a bit hurt. "I want you to be at my side constantly. It's a movie where you're very important, more than anything." He stroked my chin, making me giggle.

"Hey," spoke up Emmett, "what if this movie premiere thing coincides with the Denali clan's visit? Who gets to go? I CALL SHOTGUN!"

"I CALL IT!" shrieked Alice. "I HAVE to attend this ritzy event!"

"Why don't we just bring them along?" suggested Esme, her eyes wide with innocence that was genuine or not, I couldn't tell.

"Then for sure the media will notice me then," I grumbled, "as the ugly girl who tails the magnificent Edward Cullen who could choose to be with gorgeous Tanya. Wow, that would be a hot movie…"

"Stop demeaning yourself, Bella," said Carlisle sternly. "Beauty is only skin-deep, even for us. You are beautiful inside and out."

I smiled at him. "Thanks…"

"Sure sounded like you were jealous to me, Bella," remarked Emmett in amusement, twisting the game wheel.

"Fine, I am," I retorted, folding my arms defensively. "But you know what? I'm not worried, because I trust Edward."

The exquisite god that was my boyfriend shot me a warm smile.

"Still," said Emmett thoughtfully, moving his green car, "I can't help but wonder how it will be like if Tanya was his mistress. Oh, baby girl… HA!" He pointed a triumphant finger at Alice, who rolled her eyes, and grabbed a pink peg.

Despite myself, I found myself wondering, too. "Hmm… for sure I'd never find out. I mean, vampires are so discreet… I think I'd be more okay with it if I were a vampire, too."

"Ooh, that would be an interesting showdown," commented Alice excitedly.

"Girl on girl?" exclaimed Emmett. "AWESOME!"

"Edward might end up in pieces," spoke up Jasper with a grin.

"I refuse to entertain the thought," said Edward firmly, glaring at Jasper. "I will be forever loyal to Bella."

"What if they were cheating each other and they didn't know it?" suggested Rosalie, ignoring Edward. "Edward's seeing Tanya, and Bella's seeing that Mike."

"No way!" I gasped. "Why Mike?"

"Or would you prefer Jacob Black?" said Rosalie, lifting a single eyebrow.

I opened my mouth, then shut it again. This was touching dangerous territory. I glanced at Edward, who was looking rather livid.

"I refuse to entertain the thought, too," I said hastily, waving a hand in Jasper's direction. "Your turn."

A/N: Now I must beg you for suggestions, since my head is so going through a drought right now (which is why this chapter is shorter than usual)! So please give me any ideas, ANY, if you want this story to go on with actual humor! (Sniffs) Wouldn't it be nice to have a comedian whenever you need one… or a vending machine that chokes out random lines!! Ooh…

By the way, if you want to see the Aurea, I posted a link to a picture of it on my profile page, so check it out! It shows how the colors fly off the screen…