This is the second part of the update - go back one chapter if you haven't read the first one, yet.
If you want to listen to a song while reading: "Bad Ideas" by Alle Farben.
Her body is still recovering from all the adrenalin, her brain not able to process everything, yet.
She can't believe how quickly the past four weeks went by. It's like someone pressed play on an extremely good music video and all she wants is to go back to the start and watch it over and over again because it was way too short. They've only just celebrated an extremely successful premiere and now they can look back at an eventful, crazy and emotional four weeks. It included pretty much everything. A background dancer breaking her leg, Tom having a nervous breakdown, a night with basically no audience because of an unexpected thunderstorm or the one time where the male lead didn't show up until ten minutes before the show began because he was stuck in traffic.
They are all standing on the stage, drinking in the last few seconds of pure happiness while taking a bow. This is it, the last show. The audience applauds energetically and she can see happy faces everywhere. This is what she loves with great passion. In moments like these, she can see that it was all worth it. Well... almost all of it.
She's still scanning the crowd frantically for dark eyes but she can't seem to find them anywhere. This morning she got a mysterious text from Santana, saying that she might have bought tickets to a show she wouldn't want to miss.
At first Brittany thought that Santana just wanted to tease her. They hadn't heard from each other since the morning after their night at the hotel and she couldn't imagine that Santana would make the way to L.A. just to see Brittany's show. But when she didn't get an answer to her seven question marks in return, she started to believe that Santana was serious.
Now that she's standing on stage about to leave it, she can still not find the brunette's face in the audience. Maybe she wasn't even talking about Brittany's show? Maybe she accidentally sent the message to Brittany and it was meant for someone else?
Her questions remain unanswered because she gets pulled from the stage once the applause subsides. She gets hugged from all sides, receives kisses to her cheeks and someone puts a huge bouquet of flowers into her arms. Her co-dancers celebrate her like a star and she can't help but laugh when they start singing her current favorite song which she's been playing all the time between rehearsals.
Once they've set a date to celebrate their success all together, Brittany hugs everyone goodbye before making her way out of the building. The last few guests are still standing outside, waiting for a cab or discussing about where to get some drinks before going home.
"Brittany!" She turns around but her happy grin fades quickly. It's not Santana coming out of the building. It's Alana.
"Told you I was coming to see the show. You were... incredible." She says with reddened cheeks while making a few steps towards Brittany.
"Alana" Brittany breathes weakly. "Wow I... didn't expect you to be honest."
Alana smiles at her.
"I decided to come spontaneously. But I definitely don't regret it. Congrats, Brittany. I'm really proud of you."
Brittany lets her free hand run through her hair. She's still holding the bouquet of flowers in the other.
"Thank you" She replies while staring at the brunette, still not sure what to think.
"I was wondering if you'd like to... get a drink or something? I mean only if you've got time. But I saw you leaving alone so..."
Brittany has no idea what to do. They have only exchanged a few text messages over the past few weeks and they saw each other once when Brittany returned to the apartment to get her things.
"Al... I don't really understand" Brittany tries carefully. "I thought we were on the same page about breaking up." Alana's happy expression quickly fades. But she makes another step towards her. She takes Brittany's free hand into her own.
"Brittany, I... I keep wondering if maybe we didn't try hard enough?" Brittany looks down at their entwined hands. "I just don't want to look back in a few years and regret not having tried everything to make you happy."
Brittany closes her eyes for a moment.
"But that's not how it's supposed to be," she tries. She really wants Alana to understand. Once and for all. "You're not meant to make me happy, Alana. No one is responsible for someone else's happiness, ok? We need to be happy on our own and then a partner can enhance that happiness. But no matter how hard we would have tried - I know that it wasn't going to work."
Alana looks deep and desperate into her eyes, like she's trying to find something positive about Brittany's words. But there is nothing Brittany can give to her, so she pulls her hand free.
"I need to go. I'm so sorry", she mumbles before turning around.
And there she is.
Santana is standing next to the entrance of the building. Just like she was with a cigarette in her hand, that night they went to the restaurant with their friends and Brittany needed some fresh air. The bitterness is written all over her face.
She wants to call Santana's name but she can only watch how her one true love starts walking away with fleeing steps.
Her hands are shaking so badly when she tries to dial Santana's number for the third time in a row. She feels like someone punched her in the guts. Why does everything have to be so complicated all the time? Just an hour ago she thought that nothing could ever bring her down. Now she can feel the tears brim in her eyes until they silently roll down her cheeks.
She hates the taste of blood in her throat but she won't stop running. Santana had gotten into a cab right in front of her eyes but of course now there's not a single one in sight so she runs. But when Santana doesn't pick up the phone, she panics. What if tonight would have been the only chance to make things right? To thank Santana for coming and to tell her that she's been on Brittany's mind constantly? Why did Alana have to show up on the very same night?
When she can hardly feel her legs anymore, she decides to come to a halt. This way she can type a message.
Please tell me where you are.
She accidentally sends it too soon. She wants to say so much more but she could never write it all down anyway so instead she squats down to catch her breath for a minute.
She puts the flowers on the ground to finally hold her phone with two hands. Santana definitely won't reply. Brittany puts her head into her hand, eagerly trying to find out what to do.
"Please" She mumbles. She can't believe this is happening. Santana is here. She came here even though they said they'd wait until Christmas. She's here although she indicated a divorce last time they spoke.
She's here. And Brittany once again ruined the tiniest chance she maybe had.
But when she looks up to the sky, which is already dark, her heart starts racing once more. Not because she's still exhausted but because she suddenly remembers the hotel Santana was staying at last time.
She jumps up when she spots a cab on the other side of the street coming her way. She doesn't care that a car almost hits her for the second time in two months when she crosses the street to stop the taxi.
There is one thing on her mind and she won't go to bed tonight before she hasn't tried everything.
She doesn't know how she made it through the hotel lobby without getting noticed by any of the hotel staff. Maybe it's because she walked closely behind two other women just entering the hotel and everyone thought she belonged with them.
But the euphoria doesn't last long. When she enters the elevator she can see that it's a twelve-story building. There must be about three hundred rooms and it's not even guaranteed that Santana is in one of them. Maybe she's already on her way to the airport.
Brittany slaps her palm against her forehead. She should have gone to the airport!
The elevator makes a dinging noise before opening its doors. It's the first floor. Brittany wants to shoot herself. But she's here and she's going to try. She owes it to herself and mostly to Santana.
"Room service!" Brittany yells annoyed after knocking on the seventeenth door. She's about to lose her nerve. Most doors stay closed which is understandable as it's already close to midnight.
This one gets opened and a confused elder man looks at her.
"Yes?" He asks while putting his glasses on.
"I'm sorry..." Brittany mumbles crestfallenly. "You're definitely not a hot Latina, either." She didn't mean to say the last part out loud but she can't find the strength to apologize again. She makes a few steps to the right, wondering if it's even worth it to knock on the next door.
"Uh... try that one"
Brittany turns around so fast that she can hear her spine crack. The man points across the floor. Brittany makes her way back.
"That one?" She reaches her hand out, ready to knock again. The man nods, still confused.
"Long dark hair with pretty eyes?" Brittany asks incredulously.
"Very" He mutters with a wink before disappearing back into his room.
Brittany drops her hand once again, trying to collect herself. She's still sweating. Maybe because she ran like an idiot before. Or maybe because she doesn't know what's going to happen once the door gets opened.
Before she can think too much, Brittany knocks with a trembling fist and exhales a shaky breath.
Then she can hear footsteps from inside the room.
She's hiding behind the door, her cheek resting against it. Her eyes roam over Brittany's face. She looks defeated. And so endlessly beautiful. There is only a hint of a surprise in Santana's eyes.
"I had no idea that she was going to be there. Alana and I split up. She wanted to know if there is still a chance but there isn't," Brittany begins but she feels like she's about to fail miserably. Santana is still standing behind the shielding door.
"Please... I was looking for you but when I couldn't find you I thought that maybe you had changed your mind." Her voice dies because her heart aches terribly. She hasn't felt it this intensively in two years. Everything she says seems to bore right into Santana's chest by the way her eyes become sadder and sadder.
She stays silent which makes Brittany a hundred times more insecure than Santana's snarky comments used to do whenever they went through a rough patch in their relationship. But she was always able to make Santana smile again. At the end of the day, they went to bed lying in each other's arms. Always.
There was nothing they couldn't talk about. And now it seems like there is an ocean between them.
"Do you want me to... go?" Brittany asks eventually. Santana blinks at her. Then she finally opens her mouth.
"You were amazing. Tonight..."
Brittany swallows. Was that a goodbye? As in - you did a great job and now goodnight? She tries to decode Santana's words while looking down at the floor. She can't take those dark eyes. They break Brittany's heart into millions of pieces.
"Ok uh thanks... I guess I'll just... you know" She mutters when making a step backwards. She clumsily points to the right with her thumb.
She's beyond embarrassed. She wants to disappear behind the next corner but the hallways looks endlessly long. All she can do is start walking and hope that Santana will close the door soon. But she never hears the sound.
Instead she can hear footsteps. Light but quick. Then a hand grabs her shirt, holding her back. She turns around and expects Santana to say something. She expects her to give Brittany a confused look or something. Anything but a kiss.
But Santana throws her arms around Brittany's neck to pull her in. She crashes their mouths together for a kiss that robs all the oxygen in Brittany's lungs. Her hands grab Santana's waist. She's scared she won't be able to stand for much longer.
Their lips adjust so easily as if their last kiss had been yesterday. Santana's still taste the same and yet so different. Better.
She can sense Santana's hands at the back of her head, on her neck and shoulders. Almost as if they can't believe what is happening, either. Brittany wishes she could open her eyes and see Santana's face. But she can't. Everything is so intense, so she has to find out through her other senses.
Santana's lips feel so hot against her own, almost burning. Her scent clouds Brittany's mind. She can hear heavy breathing when their kiss gets interrupted for two seconds. She tastes desire on her tongue. Santana's and her own. So she doesn't waste another minute but raises her hands up to the brunette's face to make sure she won't go away before Santana parts her lips and grants Brittany's tongue access.
A small moan fills Brittany's ears but it's enough to drive her insane. Something inside her awoke and there is no way she can still it. She pushes Santana back. So far until they reach the nearest wall. With a thud they crash against it and Brittany finds herself pressing against the smaller body while their lips battle and crave each other at the same time.
Everything is so sensual and wonderful about it. That slim waist and the curves of Santana's hips. Her arms that still rest on Brittany's shoulders and her chest heaving between them. There is no way Brittany can stop herself from wanting more.
Only when she tastes the salt of a tear squeezing in between their lips, she carefully opens her eyes. One more kiss to those marvelous lips and she's back like an addict. Santana cries. Tears roll down her cheeks, one after the other. She lets her head rest back against the wall and gazes at Brittany through clouded eyes.
She sucks in her lips as if she's trying to capture the lingering tingle of their kiss.
"I've never felt so powerless" She rasps like she hasn't used her voice in years. Brittany feels like the complete opposite. She feels life pumping through her veins.
"Tell me what you want," she whispers against Santana's lips. She can't seem to stay away from them. "No matter what. Just tell me."
Brittany closes her eyes because she hopes so much that Santana won't tell her to leave. She'll accept anything. But she wishes to stay. Santana's finger ghost over Brittany's chest. Then they wander down where they find Brittany's hand. Their fingers entwine when Santana whispers a "stay" into her ear.
One look, the courageous fingers and the lip biting say everything. And so Brittany lets Santana guide her back to the room and closes the door once they're both inside.
Let me know what you thought about this one! :)