Chapter 7

(sorry it's so slow plotwise…this is going to be long and detailed)

By the time Faith returned to her bed, she was worn out to the point that she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep that lasted much longer than any other of the past few months. When she awakened it was nearly nine am; she was accustomed from sleeping outdoors to awakening as soon as the sun rose. Getting out of bed quickly and throwing the blankets half heartedly back up to her pillow, she made her way out of the room and towards the kitchen. Something told her that Professor Dormer was not one to sleep the day away. Faith wasn't sure why she cared, but she didn't want her to think that she was lazy.

She didn't want to think about what had happened the night before, when Professor Dormer had come into her room while she had been dreaming. Just the thought of how loudly she must have been calling out for the woman to have heard and been concerned enough to go to her made Faith grit her teeth in mortification. She must have looked so pathetic, so stupid, and it was a wonder that Professor Dormer hadn't changed her mind about having her around, decided to go back on her "duty" to her after all. Some damn Slayer Faith was going to be, some superhero- she wouldn't be surprised if Professor Dormer told her today that she'd made a mistake, that Faith wasn't really a potential Slayer after all.

The thought of it made Faith's chest feel tight with dread and anxiety in spite of herself. What if she did? No matter what she had tried to tell herself yesterday, Faith knew that she had already become too attached to the idea of everything that Professor Dormer was promising her. If it got taken away now, what would she have left?

She could smell the kitchen before she entered it, the scent of bacon and eggs immediately enjoyable to Faith so that she stopped for a moment, breathing it in slowly before continuing into the kitchen. Professor Dormer was seated fully dressed at the breakfast table with an old looking book and a cup of coffee, but when Faith entered the room she looked up and greeted her with a smile. Faith looked away, mumbling a reply, too embarrassed upon seeing her again to look her in the face, but unable to resist the smells of the food lingering in the air.

Professor Dormer gestured towards the stove, where a covered pan rested. "I kept eggs and bacon warm for you, Faith. There is milk, orange juice, and protein shakes in the refrigerator, toast and bagesl in the pantry, cereal in the cabinet. You may take what you wish."

As Faith began to make a plate for herself, Professor Dormer wordlessly placed a bottle of multi vitamins beside her place. Faith waited, even as she sat down and began to eat, avoiding the woman's eyes; she expected her to say something about the night before. But she did not, simply finishing her coffee and continuing to read in silence. She must have been watching Faith more carefully than Faith had thought, however, for only a few moments after she had finished Professor Dormer looked up at her.

"If you are finished, Faith, please take care of your plate and come with me into the living room."

Faith frowned, not sure what to make of this instruction, but nevertheless did as she was asked, albeit keeping a distance from her as she followed. As Professor Dormer gestured for her to sit, then sat near her in an armchair and turned her body fully to face her, she gave Faith a smile before beginning.

"As I said yesterday, I will make certain you understand what will be expected of you, Faith, both as my Slayer and as my ward. We are still a bit off the usual schedule of events for today, as I allowed you to sleep considerably later than you will most days in the future. But I suspected that the longer amount of sleep today took precedence over immediately beginning a schedule, and I of course wanted to first go over it with you before beginning."

Faith shrugged, but her mind was already clicking ahead of what was being said, wary in several directions. What was this about the schedule that she was talking about….they were going to have a schedule? What was this, school? She was a professor…

When Faith sneezed into her elbow, Professor Dormer gestured coolly to a box of tissues on the table beside her and continued to speak as if she had not been interrupted by the noise.

"Any person, Faith, should have a life of structure, schedule oriented, particularly when young, and especially one who has as much to learn as a potential Slayer does. You have been lacking order, regiment, and discipline, along with general care, which is also vitally important. I believe when you have the structure you have been lacking that you will find that you are much happier for it."

"You believe in Santa Claus too?" Faith muttered, thinking to herself that what Professor Dormer thought of as "structure" she thought of most likely as "suffocation" and "torture." Professor Dormer ignored her comment, continuing evenly.

"Today, Faith, you will undergo a full physical. As soon as possible you will also begin regular trips to the dentist, and today we will also see about selecting more suitable clothing for you. As for your usual daily routine, we will also begin a modified version of it today. After your physical today, if the doctor finds you to be well enough, you will run a mile for me on the track outside, which is in the backyard, and also swim laps in the pool. In time you will work up to two miles, and the goal is eventually as much as five. This of course depends on your rate of progress. Now, normally you would begin your run at 6:30 am-"

"Six thirty in the MORNING?" Faith cut her off incredulously, her eyes widening. "Are you serious? What the hell is this, boot camp?"

"Faith, another thing I expect from you, and I do believe I told you as much last night, is that you will not use profane language in my presence and particularly when speaking to me," Professor Dormer said in a voice neither loud nor angry, but nevertheless quite steely enough that Faith looked over at her quickly, nervous in spite of herself. "As for the early morning hours, you will soon find them to be normal and routine. This is not a punishment, Faith, but rather to benefit you. It is training."

"So, what, Slayers often go chase down vampires at the crack of dawn? Didn't you say they're allergic to sunlight?" Faith countered, balling the tissue she had taken earlier into her fist. "Why does a Slayer need to run anyway if she got super powers, all she has to do is turn around and fight and dust and kill."

"A Slayer needs stamina and endurance and discipline, Faith, all of which are obtained by running at an early hour, against one's desires to rest," Professor Dormer said calmly, but her eyes rested on Faith with some intent as she went on. "And you will learn, Faith, that sometimes running from danger is the wisest choice one can make as long as one knows where she is running to, even as a Slayer."

Faith's jaw tensed; she knew there was more meaning to what the woman was saying than the surface words, and she jerked her face to the side as Professor Dormer spoke again.

"After your morning run, you will eat, and then you will have a few hours of academic study. You will not be attending a school, as I am more than qualified to teach you myself at home. I suspect that such an arrangement will be more beneficial to you as it is, as you will receive one on one instruction at your own pace of learning," Professor Dormer's eyes narrowed slightly, and she turned her head at an angle as she eyed Faith carefully. "How long has it been since you attended class on a regular basis?"

Faith shrugged; the answer to that, pretty much, was never. She hadn't gone to school at all in the past three months, and before that she had skipped and cut class on a frequent basis. Even when she was a little kid her mother hadn't been reliable about getting her to school every day and on time.

Thinking about her mother made her mind start drifting into an area Faith didn't want to travel down mentally, and she quickly spoke up in a continued slightly defiant tone to distract herself more than because she actually wanted to rebel.

"If I'm just supposed to be this fighting superhero that will probably die before I'm outta my teens, then why do I even need any kind of school crap at all? It's not like I need to know algebra if my life is supposed to be all about blood, gore, and killing."

"First of all, Faith," Professor Dormer began, and there was a serious look in her eyes as she reached her hand for a moment to touch Faith's cheek, turning her face towards her in a manner that made Faith freeze, wary, stiff, "one does not, in battle or elsewhere, allow oneself to even entertain the thought that she might die. There can be no doubts or negativity. Fear is natural and can in fact provide the drive for strength and focus one needs to overcome her foes, but if a Slayer- or just a woman- allows herself to believe that she may not emerge triumphant, she backs down from giving out all the effort she could have exerted otherwise, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Secondly, a Slayer's life is not about violence and the glory of death-making, but rather about honor and protection and sacrifice. Thirdly, there is no guarantee that you will ever become a Slayer-" and was it Faith's imagination, or did she see the woman's eyes flicker in a way that suggested she hoped that Faith wouldn't be?

"But I will prepare you to the best of both of our abilities, for the event that that day may come. And lastly, Faith, in response to your actual question, a Slayer must have knowledge and understanding beyond her calling. If you are never called as a Slayer, you will of course need an education to further you in life, and even if you are, you will need as a Slayer to be able to use your mind to think logically and with greater agility, as academics will help you develop. I am sure we will have little trouble in that, Faith, even if you are behind your peers currently in knowledge. You are a bright girl, as I'm sure you realize, or you would not have made it as far in life as you have."

In fact, Faith hadn't realized this was and rather stunned to hear Professor Dormer say it. No one had said anything like that to her in her life, and she was so incredulous to hear it now that it took her a couple of seconds to start listening as the woman continued.

"After your studies, you will train for a few hours, eat, and then study again, although this time, on the aspects of mystical life such as vampires and demons. Although the majority of such knowledge is the responsibility of the Watcher, you have not been raised with the knowledge and training of most potential Slayers, and there is much you need to know if you are to be a Slayer yourself. Then you will train again, and end the day with a period of time to unwind, easy any troubles or stresses you may have before sleep. The time each of these activities takes will vary from day to day, of course, and there will also be times of rest and relaxation worked in. Of course, they are also subject to change depending upon need. But this is the general run of events you will be looking at on a typical day."

Apparently finished at last, Professor Dormer leaned back a little in her seat, watching Faith's reaction. For her part, Faith found this spiel of expectations entirely mind boggling. From the sounds of it, she had simply traded one prison in for another.

"So…I'm, what, I'm supposed to just be here, every day, just with you, working my ass off every freaking day?" she said incredulously, her tone and expression making it rather clear what she thought of this plan. "What, was that part of the jail's conditions for bail, that someone tracks my every move?"

"If you ever are a Slayer, Faith, it will be necessary for you to have had all that I will provide for you for your own survival," Professor Dormer said calmly. "It will also be necessary for you to be somewhat removed from others; that goes with the territory of being the Slayer. As for what seems to be your main concern- the limitations to your freedom and time- you will have Saturdays and Sundays off from your studies, and Sundays off from training. When I feel that we know each other well enough that I trust you to do so, you may go out on Friday and Saturday nights if I am aware of what you are doing, where you are going, and when you will return. I don't find this to be an unreasonable arrangement given that you are only fourteen; in fact, had other Watchers I know of realized I had initiated such a thing, I am sure they would find me terribly lax."

Terribly lax? Those were hardly the words that had come to Faith's mind upon hearing Professor Dormer's plans. So this was the catch…Faith knew there had to be serious drawbacks to having a mansion with an open buffet.

A part of her felt like she shouldn't care, that she should be happy to have whatever since she really had nothing. But a larger part of her bristled at the very thought of what Professor Dormer's description implied to her.

"Look, I appreciate you doing all this and everything," she said abruptly, her muscles tensing, hardening her eyes as she looked the woman directly in the face. "But I never asked you to, and if you're gonna…I don't want any debt to pay off here-"

"You owe no debt to me, Faith, if you are to become a Slayer," Professor Dormer interrupted, leaning forward once again, her voice so intent that Faith did not even think to cut her off. "And though you owe nothing to the world, you do have a duty towards it. Do you want to be a Slayer, to be the best and strongest you can be? Do you want to have power and respect, rightness and admiration, for who you are, as well as what you can do?"

She paused, her eyes still on Faith, giving her time to sink in, and Faith unconsciously bit her lower lip. She did want it… everything she had said, she wanted. It must have shown in her expression baldly, for the Professor Dormer's eyes softened.

"If you want it as badly as I think you do, Faith, then you will work for it, and grow to enjoy the work as well."

Faith knew that there was little room for argument in that. If she truly wanted to be this Slayer…then maybe she should try all this crap, at least for a while. She could always take off if it didn't work out.

She said nothing, and Professor Dormer continued to watch her; Faith had the uncomfortable feeling that she could see into her head, that she knew exactly what she was thinking, and she averted her eyes, clinching her jaw in spite of herself. Sure enough, the woman spoke again a few moments later, her words again, to Faith's unease, resonating despite her efforts to remain unmoved.

"Whether or not you think so now, Faith, I believe you will discover in time that all of this is not only what you need, but also what you want. Right now, in comparison to the freedom you had on the streets, and even in your…former home…to roam about unchecked, restrictions of any sort may seem no better than a punishment or prison of sorts to you. But here, unlike in your former circumstances, although you have these expectations, you will also have shelter and warmth, food and safety, access to medical care, and opportunity to grow and become everything you are capable of. Moreover, Faith, you have someone to look out for your well-being. Although I realize you have looked out for yourself successfully to an extent in the past-"

"I don't need anyone 'looking out for me,' " Faith spoke up hurriedly, her eyes raising to Professor Dormer's, her voice louder and harsher than she had intended. She had been accepting the woman's words, though with difficulty, up to this point, but this she could not let go of. "I don't need anyone watching my back but me."

Professor Dormer said nothing to counter her words, but the way she eyed her, as if Faith was something she pitied, with a knowing glint to her gaze, made Faith want to snap back at her, to rail against her and aggressively prove her wrong. But how do you prove someone wrong and still save face when they just look at you, especially like THAT?

"Other than that general schedule, I expect, as I have said to you a few times already, that you will not use profane language in my presence or when speaking to me," Professor Dormer began again almost a full minute of silence later. "I expect you to show respect to me, as I will show respect to you. There will be no stealing, either from myself or from any other, nor unnecessary violence and aggression. I also expect obedience-"

"Like a puppy?" Faith couldn't stop herself from commenting, and despite herself, she felt a twinge of regret at the level look Professor Dormer gave her in return.

"Obedience, if one wishes to be a Slayer, is very important, Faith, particularly to one's Watcher. It may save your life or that of others, and it is wise to get into the habit of doing so quickly."

She tilted her head, her voice lowering, her hands entwining themselves onto her lap as she exhaled; all this time she had rarely shifted her eyes from Faith's, to Faith's discomfort. She could not remember anyone ever giving her such undivided attention in her life. Was that a British thing, or just a Diana thing?

Shit…had she just called her Diana in her head?

"I do not expect you to like me, Faith. In fact, I am quite certain that you will resent me, if not despise me, at times, but I assure you…your life will be better by having my hand involved in guiding its course."

She was quiet then, watching Faith, obviously waiting for her response, but Faith could not pull her thoughts into enough unity to come up with one. When she finally spoke, her words were abrupt, almost jerky in tone.

"What else do I have to do?"

"You will not drink or take drugs," Professor Dormer said after measuring her without words for a few moments, and there seemed to be a smile in her eyes, if not on her lips. "If you smoke, which I might add is a bad idea for anyone, Slayer or not, it had better not be in my home or presence. You cannot tell anyone about your role as a potential Slayer, as much as can be avoided- not that many would believe you," she added, and this time there was a wry smile. "No boys are allowed in your room or bed- or men," she added hastily when she saw the smirk on Faith's face, " and you will keep a diary, not for me, but for yourself, to work through the stresses of your life. Slayers have traditionally done so for centuries," she added again when Faith scrunched up her nose, "and I believe it to be beneficial. Other than that, Faith, I suppose that is all I expect of you."

"Oh, that's all, huh," Faith muttered, rolling her eyes. She shifted in her seat, moving to stand, but froze when Professor Dormer lay a firm hand on her arm, once more catching and holding her gaze as she spoke softly.

"None of this is to say that I do not expect mistakes, Faith. All of us are very human and flawed, and you are still very young yet. You have more than enough time to continue to make mistakes. What I am asking is that I know you are trying and striving to grow."

She smiled at her, and Faith's heart squeezed unexpectedly; she was very aware and angry with herself because of her awareness of Professor Dormer's hand on her arm, her proximity to her, and the fact that not all of her was made uncomfortable by it. She pulled away suddenly, sniffing and wiping at her nose with the nearly forgotten tissue in her fist, and cleared her throat. Professor Dormer watched her for a moment before speaking in a more normal tone of voice.

"Well, that's that, then. Your physical begins in less than an hour, so after its conclusion I suppose we can get a late start of the day, see if those running shoes will be of use to you. Shall we go to the car? Perhaps we will have time to buy you a few items of clothing first."

As she stood, then extended a hand to Faith to pull her to her feet, Faith hesitated for several moments, torn between pushing her hand away and standing on her own, and simply letting her take it. When she finally let Professor Dormer take her hand, the woman's brief smile nevertheless revealed her surprise- and happiness. Faith pulled it away quickly and looked away.

What was she getting herself into…what was she letting happen here?