Chapter 12—The Ferris Wheel

I am walking with Eric and other Dauntless leaders to the initiate's dorm. In my head, I'm replaying Tris's fight.

She took my advice, which was good. She went right at the girl—Myra?—and she did great. It felt good to circle her name.

We go into the dormitory and Eric begins shouting at them. My eyes, immediately, find Tris's sleeping body.

She meets my gaze.

And we stay that way.

My heart pounds so hard I can hear it ringing in my ears, I can feel it in my fingers, my toes, my stomach, everywhere. I wonder if her body is doing the same thing mine is. She keeps her eyes on me, though, spreading warmth with every thundering beat of my heart.

"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" Eric roars the words at her, and she peels her eyes off mine, scrambling out of bed.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks. We're going on another field trip," Eric announces the words somewhat pleasantly, and I take another long look at Tris before we leave.

"I'm going to squash you like a bug," Eric tells me.

I glance at him, "In your dreams."

"Come on Four." Eric raises an eyebrow, which pulls roughly at his piercing. "You know you can't beat me."

I just roll my eyes and stop walking, where we wait for the initiates.

"Everyone grab a gun," Eric growls once they get here. I watch Tris. She seems excited, which is good. She needs to be uplifted.

"Time estimate?" Eric looks at me.

"Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" He shoves my shoulder, and I grind my teeth.

I feel Tris's eyes on my face as the train pulls into view. I take off, and lift myself into the train, showing off a bit. I turn and see Tris right behind me. Unable to resist, I hold my hand on.

I expect her to ignore me, to try and get in without me. But she surprises me. Her hands wrap around my forearm, and I lift her right up, into the train. She releases me immediately, going to go sit as far away from me as she can. And this confuses me more than anything else. My arm still tingles from her touch. Why doesn't she want to talk to me? She has to feel this connection to, right?

I clear my head by waiting for everyone to get in, and then speaking up.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." I have to grab the doorway to stay upright when the car sways. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?"

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," I raise an eyebrow. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be your team captains," Eric says. "Let's divide up the transfers, shall we?"

"You go first," I suggest, my eyes peeking at Tris. Her face is a mask of dread.

"Edward," Eric shrugged.

I lean back against the doorframe and nod. It didn't matter. I knew exactly who he wouldn't pick, exactly who I wanted.

My eyes run over them, but I'm not seeing them. "I want the Stiff."

I let myself look at Tris. She's blushing, probably because of their laughter, of my use of the word.

"Got something to prove?" Eric smirks. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"

I shrug. He wouldn't understand. "Something like that," I go, "Your turn."

"Peter."

I think quickly. Christina is Tris's friend, and she's already had a bad run-in with Eric. "Christina."

"Molly."

I bit my thumbnail. I decide on one of Tris's other friends. "Will."

"Al."

There goes her last friend. I have to pick someone outside her small circle. "Drew."

"The last one left is Myra, so she's with me. Dauntless-born initiates next."

I don't care too much about these. I let my eyes wander over them, and I pick out the skinny, fast-looking ones.

Tris suddenly breaks into a smile so bright it makes my chest ache. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth. Her eyes are on me in between choices, and she follows my gaze. She must have realized my strategy.

"Your team can get off second," Eric tells us, his eyebrows arched, his lips pulled into a hideous smirk.

"Don't do me any favors." I think of my team, of our speed, and I smile. "You know I don't need them to win."

"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off." He bit down on his piercings and I knew that had to hurt. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

They begin getting to their feet. I watch Tris the whole time. She exchanges a look with Al, and she smiles, making me run my tongue over my teeth in anger. Why does he look so concerned? Does he really think I'll hurt her? She's Tris.

I jump out of the train and pause, turning and watching Tris almost get shoved out of it. Maybe that's why Al's concerned, I realize—not of what I'd do to Tris, what her peers would. That thought fills me with hate. How can they do this to her? What did she do to them? I turn and begin walking.

Fingers touch my shoulder. I know they aren't Tris's because nothing in me responds to their touch. My skin doesn't tingle, my heart doesn't race, my stomach stays in place. No, the only reaction I'm having is caused my Tris's eyes on my arm that the girl is touching. She's watching me.

Good.

"When your team won, where did you put the flag?" Marlene says, still touching me.

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene." I try to make my voice kind and cold. I don't want to hurt the poor girl. I just want her to stop touching me.

"Oh, come on, Four," She bats her eyelashes and whines at me in a voice I recognize. It was the voice Lauren uses when she mocks me for liking Tris.

I brush her hand off me.

"Navy Pier," says a Dauntless-born who's name I don't bother trying to remember. I glance over my shoulder, meaning to look at him, and instead find my eyes on Tris. She's smiling, ever so slightly, and I remember feeling her eyes on me during my whole exchange with Marlene. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel."

I realize this must be Zeke's brother, Uriah. I look at him for a long time. He looks like Zeke.

"Let's go there, then."

I ignore the rest of their chatter as we walk. I don't have an interest. I keep my ears ready for my name or Tris's voice, but the only thing she says is about a Ferris wheel.

I pull the flag out of my pocket. "In ten minutes, the next team will pick their location. I suggest you take this time to formulate strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."

The initiates begin going at it, and I sit down on the carousel. I feel Tris's eyes follow me as I do this, and I pull my own eyes up to the sky so she doesn't feel like I've been staring at her—which I have.

Her eyes stay on me, though. I feel the warmth of them travel down my arms, to my neck, to my gun. The warmth cuts off, and I guess she realized she was staring. I don't mind. For the first time in my life, I don't care about eyes being on me, as long as they're Tris's.

I can always feel Tris's presence, so I can feel it when she wanders off from the group. I stand, my eyes immediately moving around, looking for her. She's got her foot on a rung of the Ferris wheel, her hands stretched out above her, clinging to another one. I briefly worry about her sanity, and I push my gun across my back and go over to her.

"Tris," I try to make my voice slow, calming. I don't want her to do something stupid.

She turns and glances at me over her shoulder. "Yes?"

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

Her eyes go cold. "I'm seeking higher ground," she says. "I don't think I'm doing anything."

That's my girl. She does whatever she wants. I smile, "Alright. I'm coming."

"I'll be fine," She replies. For a moment I wonder why she says this. Does she not want me to be near her, or does she think I'm doubting her ability.

"Undoubtedly," I say, because there isn't a doubt in my mind.

I wait until she's high enough that we won't be overlapping, and then I begin climbing. I catch up to her quickly, and I grab the next rungs as soon as her feet leave them.

Soon enough, though, I feel dizzy. I take a deep breath and decide to distract myself. "So tell me..." My voice is low, and I wonder if she hears how breathless I am. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."

"Learning about strategy," She says confidently, not even slightly out of breath. The girl is good with heights, "Teamwork, maybe."

"Teamwork," I say, and a nervous laugh gets caught in my throat, which appears to be closing up.

"Maybe not," she amends. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."

I watch the wind grab at her, and she pulls herself closer to the bars. She's making me sick. She's so small. The wind could take her so easily.

"It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be."

Her hand almost misses a rung. She seems to be slowly losing her cool. I, on the other hand, am ready to be taken safely down to ground level.

"Now tell me what you think learning strategy has to do with bravery." I can hardly get the words out of my swollen throat.

She talks, answering my question, but I can't hear her over the insane roaring in my ears. Her voice shifts, becomes concerned. "Are you all right, Four?"

I glance down and feel my heart threaten to climb up my throat. Yet Tris seems to be unaffected.

"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high ..." I try desperately to swallow to pull air into my lungs. "It doesn't scare you at all?"

She casually looks down. She doesn't even sway. Then the wind howls, catching her side, and yanking her, making her lose her grip. She gasps and begins clinging to the rungs.

My fear leaves my mind. I don't care that I'm up so high what I'm about to do could lead to my dead. I undo my grip on a rung and grab Tris's hip, pushing her back in place with all the strength left in my fear-stricken body. As if I wasn't already falling to pieces, my fingers find a trip of bare skin under the hem of her T-shirt and my heart lurches frantically, my hands begin shaking, burning where our bare skin meets.

I squeeze her him once she's settled in place, and I lower my hand back down to my run, which I cling to for dear life. "You okay?" I ask her carefully, quietly.

"Yes," she says, her voice strained and shaky. I can't hear fear in it though, and I wonder for a split second if that was her reacting to my touch the way I did to her.

After a bit longer of climbing, we finally reach a plat form. Tris immediately moves to the very edge, giving me room. I press my back to the support, panting, trying not to throw up.

Tris shifts, dangling her legs off the edge.

"You're afraid of heights," She says quietly. There's no harsh judgment in her voice. She's just stating a fact. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"

"I ignore my fear," I tell her. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

She stares at me, and I feel my overwhelming fear slowly leave me, her gaze replacing it with pleasant warmth. She doesn't take her eyes off me, and soon I wonder if there is a reason behind her staring.

"What?" I keep my voice soft, because speaking loud would ruin the moment.

"Nothing," She drags her eyes away from me, towards the city. I keep my eyes on her, though, as she does this.

"We're not high enough," she announces suddenly. "I'm going to climb." She gets to her feet, and I feel sick again.

"For God's sake, Stiff," I say though she has clearly proved she is anything but a Stiff.

"You don't have to follow me." Her eyes are calculating, looking up at the bars above us.

I pull myself to my feet carefully. "Yes, I do."

We begin climbing again, and then suddenly, Tris stops. She lets go of her rung and she points.

Now I'm extremely nervous, so I climb up until my feet are on the same rungs as her feet, my legs on either side of her, so if she falls back, at least she'll be falling against me, and not against the ground, plummeting to her death.

Since I'm so close to her, I can feel her shaking slightly. I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Yeah," I say, smiling. "It's coming from the park at the end of the pier. Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough," I keep smiling. The height means nothing now. The only thing I'm aware of is how close I am to Tris, and that her brilliance means we are going to beat Eric this year.

She turns her head to face me, and I stop breathing. We're so close that I'd barely have to move to kiss her. Her eyes are taking in my face, pausing on my lips, and staying there. Lauren's voice screams in my head. Kiss Tris!

"Um," Her voice cracks. She clears her throat. "Start climbing down."

I nod and begin moving before I have time to something stupid.

As I'm climbing, I hear a screech, and I look up just in time to duck out of the way of the run that would have hit me in the head just moments ago.

Tris is dangling by her hands. "Four!"

My heart drops into my stomach, which is unfortunate, because my stomach seems to have sunk to my feet.

"Hold on!" I shout the words at her. "Just hold on, I have an idea!"

I climb down quickly, no longer caring about anything other than my Tris, dangling over her death. "Four," she cries out, absolutely breaking my heart.

Once I reach the ground, I race to the controls, pressing and pulling at random things, my hands shaking.

I hear the Ferris wheel groan in protest, and then it begins moving.

Tris is laughing as she is rapidly lowered to the ground.

And then she lets go at the perfect time, landing and rolling, just out of the way of a car.

She presses her hands to her face, and I move toward her quickly, crouching by her shoulder. I need to make sure she's okay. She needs to be okay.

I let myself touch her. I take hold of her wrists and pull her hands away from her face. I press her small, cold hand between both of mine, wanting to warm her up. "Are you alright?" I murmur, feeling how sore her fingers must be.

"Yeah," She says, and I can't help it. I'm giddy with relief. My Tris is leading us to the win, and she's okay. I start laughing.

She pushes herself up with the hand I'm not cradling. This movement closes up most of the distance between us. I want to kiss her more than anything. But if today's events proved anything, it's that Tris knows next to nothing about me. And she should know what she's getting into before I make any move on her.

So I end out moment, pulling her up to her feet, taking her back to the group. I pull her by her elbow, just happy that she's letting me touch her. Her face is flushed, a small smile on her lips, and she keeps glancing at my hand on her. But she's not pulling away, so I'm not letting her go.

Tris comes up with the plan. It works. Our team meets up, and Christina is waving their flag powerfully in the air.

Tris isn't a part of the chanting or celebration, and I go over and touch her shoulder. "Well done," I tell her softly. She smiles into my eyes.

I know this was really long, thanks for staying with me! I love you! Keep reviewing!