Surviving the Aftermath
Summary: Physically and emotionally scarred from a harrowing ordeal, six Wildcats face their greatest hurdle yet. Together, they try to move on. But how do you forget when your internal and external wounds may never heal? See trailer.
Pairings: Chaylor and Troyella. Mentions of Zekepay. Ryan will also feature but with no pairing.
Disclaimer: I think you can guess; if you know it, I don't own it.
Warnings: Dark emotions. Possible character death(s). Rated T for some language and injuries. Probable spelling and grammar mistakes due to my lack of beta.
6. Wake-Up Call
The days that followed were uncomfortable and sombre. Chad and Taylor weren't talking to each other. Nor were Sharpay and Ryan. Troy tended not to talk to anyone apart from the daily message he left on Gabriella's answer-phone. Gabriella contacted no-one. However, in the midst of the dismal quiet, not all was grey and lonely. In actual fact, some colour was returning to a few aspects of their dull lives.
"'Risky Red'" Taylor decided, eyebrows-raised in an excited grin.
Sharpay laughed lightly. "You sure?" She asked before taking one of Taylor's hands in her own.
Over the days, Taylor and Sharpay's uneasy beginnings of a bond had shaped into a full-blown friendship. In short, they needed each other. Because they had no-one else. But it didn't take them long to realise that they had quite a lot in common; their craving for independence, their ambition to go far, the deeply hidden vulnerability. And so their need for each other became something more. Something real. A connection. A union.
"Go for it." Taylor prompted.
Every day, Sharpay would sit on Taylor's bed and they would talk about nothing in particular; music, hobbies, stuff like that. They never touched on the sensitive subjects, neither of them sure whether the friendship was strong enough yet. Today, Sharpay had decided to paint Taylor's nails, 'Risky Red' being Taylor's daring choice of colour.
Sharpay opened the bottle and began to carefully apply the scarlet varnish to Taylor's nails. Both girls were smiling at the normalness of the situation, as if they weren't in a hospital. As if all that had happened, had never happened. They were just two friends hanging out, painting nails.
"Oh, it's fabulous!" Sharpay gasped suddenly, making Taylor's smile widen. "The colour really suits you."
Sharpay looked up to see Taylor frown. The smile on her face faded until there was no longer any trace of happiness about her lips. Sharpay's mood too dropped, if only because she no longer had anyone to share her glee with. This often happened. Things would be going fine and then one of them would suddenly remember the situation. Reality had a habit of creeping up on them when they were at their happiest. It was often triggered by something someone had said and, once it had happened, there was no going back. The atmosphere had changed. There was no reversing that. At least not for a few hours of silence.
Usually, upon seeing Taylor sadden, Sharpay would get the hint and travel back to her bed to leave the other girl with her thoughts. She would also retreat to be alone if she herself ever had a moment such as this one. But not today. Today she decided it was time for things to change. Because just leaving a friend to their thoughts was not the right thing to do.
She screwed the bottle of nail-polish shut. "What's up?" She asked as she lifted Taylor's unfinished right hand an inch from her face and began to softly blow on the glistening fingertips.
A whisper of Taylor's smile returned at the soothing sensation Sharpay was causing. It was personal and intimate. With each second that passed she felt more and more comfortable with the other girl. "I was just thinking…" She said slowly, her frown easing slightly.
Sharpay waited for Taylor to continue. When she didn't, she decided to prompt her further. "About…?"
Taylor shrugged and tilted her head back slightly. "D'you think I'll forget what colours look like?" As the words left her mouth she realised how stupid she sounded. She was certain that Sharpay would laugh at her and shrug the question off but, to her surprise, the answer she received was truthful and genuine.
"Maybe." She said, not wanting to lie. She wasn't sure but to her it seemed probable. "But there are some things you'll never forget." She added to reassure Taylor.
"And you." Taylor added with a new wave of worry as something else occurred to her. "What if I forget what you look like?"
Sharpay chuckled sadly. Subconsciously, she raised a hand to tentatively trace the damaged side of her face. "You don't wanna know what I look like." She uttered solemnly.
Taylor began to shake her head almost frantically. "You're beautiful, Sharpay." She suddenly remarked.
"Maybe I was." Sharpay corrected. "Maybe once. But now-…."
Taylor was still shaking her head. She squeezed Sharpay's hand which was still held in her own. "The way I see you," she spoke gently. "You're still beautiful. You always will be."
Taylor didn't see the wobbly smile she received in return for her kindness. Nor was she witness to the single tear that rolled down Sharpay's cheek.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sharpay wondered aloud. She didn't deserve it. Not with her history.
Taylor shrugged, pulled her hand from Sharpay's and lay backwards on her pillow. "I mean it." She said. "And besides, we're friends aren't we?"
Sharpay lifted her legs onto the bed and leant her back on the white metal rails of the footboard. "Friends…" She mulled over the word in her mouth, liking the taste of it. "I guess so." She smiled. "So… as my good friend, is there any goss' you'd like to dish? Like what's going on with you and Chad?" She jumped right in there, knowing now that there were no boundaries. Their status had been confirmed. Friends. She could share anything.
Taylor sighed. She knew Sharpay could be full-on but she had not been ready for that. She didn't even have a chance to answer before Sharpay had hit her with another question.
"I heard him apologise the other day." She said. "Why didn't you forgive him? I mean, I know he was out of line but even I could tell that he meant it." She barely paused for air before continuing. "And did you manage to find out what was wrong with him? He seems fine now. Well, temperamental, but fine."
Taylor was at a loss as to what the other girl had just said. The words had come out at hyper-speed. She must have lost track around 'apologise'. "What do you want me to answer first?" She asked in an attempt to not reveal that she hadn't really been listening.
Sharpay took in a deep breath to relay what she had just said at a more understandable speed. "Why didn't you accept his apology?" She asked simply.
Taylor crossed her arms over her stomach. "It's for the best in the long run." She explained. "He might think he wants to support me but in a few weeks time he'll realise he can't handle having a blind girlfriend. That's what he's like. He can't deal with commitment."
Sharpay rolled her eyes. "You can't assume all those things." She told Taylor. "Give him a chance at least."
"And what happens when he crushes me again?" She blurted out without warning. She pursed her lips to prevent any further unwanted outbursts of frankness.
Sharpay laid a hand on Taylors folded arms. "He won't." She assured with certainty. "And, if he does, I'll be here to beat him up for you."
Taylor chuckled. "That so?" she asked, appreciative of Sharpay's methods of making her smile.
"Listen to me," Sharpay's tone sharpened and it was clear she was no longer joking. "You've got something good with him. Don't throw it away. Don't do what I did."
For a moment, Taylor was unsure of what Sharpay was talking about.
"They've postponed the funeral." Sharpay continued, making it make sense. "They can't bury him until they know for sure exactly what happened in the forest." She couldn't quite bring herself to say his name. It was the first time he had been mentioned since his death.
"I just want him in the ground." She admitted, despising the harsh honesty of her words. "I think that, once he's in that coffin, six feet under, I'll stop seeing his face every time I shut my eyes. Stop hearing his screams."
She shuddered, finally letting her true feelings surface. She'd told no-one of this. But with Taylor, she felt she could share. "Maybe the regret will go away." She pondered orally. "Maybe one day I'll forgive myself for missing the chance of a lifetime. I think we could have been good together…."
She took in a sharp, shallow breath and shook the sombre thoughts away with a toss of her hair. She was, all of a sudden, carefree again. "So just-… don't waste the chance you have, okay?" She finished, leaving Taylor in a pensive silence. All the other girl could do was nod.
"It's good," Sharpay spoke again after a lengthy and thoughtful silence. "Sharing."
Taylor agreed. "But we've barely even scratched the surface." She mentioned. There was so much more she felt she had to speak about. So much that she had kept bottled up, convinced that no-one else would care to hear.
"Oh," Sharpay breathed, having the same opinion. "Don't even get me started." She joked. "I mean, just wait 'til I start on Ryan. 'Cos that boy… I swear he-."
"I what?" Came Ryan's irate voice.
During her excitement, Sharpay had failed to remember that Ryan was only a couple of beds away. All the curtains in the room were open so she couldn't even hide from him. She turned her head around so her eyes briefly met his but seeing his anger was more than she could take and she returned her gaze to Taylor's fingernails. She began to fumble with the small bottle of nail-polish in an attempt to ignore Ryan's burning gaze.
He was fuming. She could tell. And she wasn't sure why. She'd barely said anything about him. But she did not want a confrontation with him. Not now. It would spoil the progress she'd been making today on the road of positivity.
"Uh-oh…." She muttered so only Taylor could hear.
Amused by the situation and how affectively Ryan could silence his sister, Taylor let out a quiet chuckle only to realise that, in doing so, she had made matters a hundred times worse.
"What are you laughing at?" Ryan bellowed. By now he had caught the attention of both Troy and Chad who had set aside their individual activities of staring into space and were now fully engrossed in the drama.
"What did she say to you, huh?!" Ryan continued.
Taylor bit down on her lip, regretful for having made any noise at all. Luckily, Sharpay was there to back her up and wasn't having any of Ryan's paranoid ranting.
"Chill out, Ry." She scoffed, unimpressed by her brothers childish behaviour.
But he couldn't 'chill out'. He felt like a fool. A clown. Everyone laughed at him. And why? Because he had a bit of hope? Because he was a useless cripple? They found him funny. A laughing stock. His sister, his 'friends' and even his parents. They all shrugged off anything he had to say; any opinion he had or any idea he might want to share, and dismissed every word that came out of his mouth. Like he was a joke. Well, no more. He'd had enough. They were the jokes. Miserable, hopeless, incurable. He was the one with a future. They failed.
"Chill out?" He spoke through gritted teeth. His nostrils flared like that of a bull ready to charge. Unfortunately, Sharpay didn't notice his impending rage and continued to antagonise him.
"Yeah," She said in a 'duh' tone. "I'm sick of your moping." And it was true. She'd had enough. Since she was still in the sharing mood, she decided now was the time to get that feeling out in the open.
Ryan cocked his head to the side. He was starting to exhibit the signs of a madman; twitchy with ragged breaths and manic eyes. "Moping." He repeated slowly.
"Do you have to copy everything I say?" She asked, the irritation beginning to boil inside her.
Taylor reached out a timid hand and made contact with Sharpay's knee. She attempted to sooth her friend with a calm and gentle touch. "Maybe you should just leave him." She advised, knowing where the argument would go if it continued to heat up.
Sharpay pulled away from Taylor's hand and threw her legs off the side of the bed. "No." She said simply as she got to her feet. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" She told Taylor before standing and crossing the room to the space between hers and her brother's bed.
"Yes, Ryan." She picked up where she left off, standing next to him where he lay. "Moping. You did it when our parents visited. You did it when you found out about your leg. It's all you ever do."
"Maybe if you were in my situation you'd understand." He bit back. How could she judge him? She had no idea what he was going through.
"No, maybe if you stopped being such a damn wimp and got your leg cut off like you're meant to, you wouldn't be in so much pain." She replied. "And maybe then we wouldn't have to listen to you whinge every day." Her annoyance lessened a bit as she adopted a more sensitive tone. "I know you're afraid, okay-."
Ryan sneered. "That's rich coming from you." He interrupted. "You can't even pluck up the courage to look in a mirror."
"Ryan!" Taylor warned in little more than an animal-like hiss.
Things were going too far. Even Chad and Troy had sat up in their beds at that comment. No-one mentioned mirrors around Sharpay. It was an unspoken rule of theirs. They all knew how tough it was for her to even think about seeing her reflection. She was slowly working her way up to it. For now though, she still wasn't quite ready. And they weren't about to push her.
"Ooh." Ryan raised his hands to his mouth with mock guilt. "Did I say the 'M' word?" He asked sarcastically. He directed his gaze at Sharpay who stood in a stunned and hurt silence. "What kind of weak, pathetic person is afraid of their own reflection?" He added bitterly.
"At least I can walk." She whispered harshly. It was a dismal attempt at a comeback; probably her worst ever. But it was the best she could do under the circumstances. Ryan had just about broken her heart. They'd argued before but he'd never gotten so personal. That's not the kind of thing a brother would do. As far as she was concerned, he was no brother of hers. "What have you got without your dancing, eh? Nothing. You're nothing, Ryan. You're-."
He grabbed her by the wrist, stopping her mid-sentence. She tried to pull free of his painfully strong grip but couldn't get out of his grasp even with her frantic wriggling. The fury in his eyes told her that, despite them being family, he was capable of hurting her. She was scared of him. She was scared for her safety. And, judging from the reactions around her, so was everyone else.
Troy clambered out of his bed as if to rush forward and free her, only to hover with uncertainty where he stood. Chad adjusted his seated position so his legs hung of the bed and he was facing Ryan. His fingers dug into his thin mattress and his eyes said that he was ready to pounce if needs be.
"Let go of her." Troy warned, shocked at how quickly things had escalated. How quickly Ryan had snapped and lost it completely. Something told him that the petite, blonde boy was capable of anything. Sharpay was in danger being around him.
Ryan seemed not to notice Troy's warning or even Sharpay's whimpers and grunts as she tried to get away from him. With his free hand he reached into an open drawer on his bed side table. His hand resurfaced seconds later after a bout of rustling, wielding a shiny silver object. It glinted as he pushed it upwards to Sharpay's face while simultaneously tugging her downwards toward it.
Then everything stopped. No-one even breathed. Sharpay's eyes locked with a strikingly familiar, brown pair. It didn't take her long to realise she was staring into her own mirror image. As horrified as she was, she found it impossible to look away. Curiosity got the better of her and, before she knew it, her gaze began to wander. She couldn't help it. She was inspecting every millimetre of her face. Each and every detail. She couldn't stop herself. As each second passed she felt more and more repulsed. She never imaged it would look this bad. She never thought she could have become such a hideous monster. Her skin was so raw and red. It was peeling off in places to reveal bloody patches underneath. There were white-yellow areas of puss and sickly charred spots of pure, uncovered flesh. It was like something from a poorly rated horror movie. Except it was real. It was her.
She finally looked away as tears flooded from her eyes. She was going to be sick. She knew it. She could feel it rising in her throat. Her breathing came out in whimpering sobs. Ryan finally released her and she didn't hesitate. She sprinted from the room. Desperate to get away. She couldn't let them look at her. They couldn't see her like this. She was a beast.
"What have you done?!" Taylor shrieked, crawling forward savagely in her bed so she was as close to Ryan as she could get without standing. She hadn't seen it but knew well enough. Sharpay was gone. She'd fled in tears. And Ryan, her brother, was to blame.
Troy sank back down to a seated position on the edge of his bed. "It's over, Taylor." He hushed her. The action was over. Things were messed up still, but as far as he was concerned, the feud between Ryan and Sharpay was at a standstill while Sharpay was out of the room. There was no need for it to continue in her absence. Maybe a little less shouting would allow him some much needed time to think. He was already stressed out about Gabriella and his arm. He didn't need to hear about all of this as well. So there was no need for Taylor to get herself involved.
Taylor was having none of that. "No it's not. Not until he." she pointed a finger in Ryan's direction. "Explains what possessed him to… attack her like that!"
Attack? He hadn't. Had he? Ryan thought hard about what had just happened. It started to dawn on him the he may have taken things a little too far. But he was still furious. And, no matter what was said, she deserved it. He had helped her anyway. In the long run. "It was her own fault." He said simply, tossing the mirror aside and settling in his bed as if ready to doze off.
"Wh-wha-…" Taylor breathed, lost for words. In her growing anger and anguish, her mind could no longer properly function. He wasn't really trying to say that what he did was right? Was he? "What kind of brother are you?!" She spat with unrestricted hatred.
Troy tried to block it out by covering his ears with his hands but only managed to muffle the loud sounds. He'd had enough with the shouting. It was over. Could they not just drop it? "Would you stop getting yourself involved Taylor?" He asked. He was aiming for polite but couldn't mask the harsh tone of his voice. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Chad tensing up and realised he probably should have kept his mouth shut. All they needed now was for another person to add themselves to the mix.
"Maybe if you had gotten yourself involved," Taylor directed her anger at Troy now. "Things wouldn't have gone as far as they did."
Troy wasn't standing for that. "Yeah, well you know what?" He snapped back. "I know when to butt out and leave people to their own problems, okay?!" He threw his arms up with a frustrated sigh. "Ugh! And could you please stop with your goddamn shrieking? You're giving me a headache." He tossed his legs onto his bed and sat back, considering smothering himself with his pillow when another voice entered the equation.
"Don't you dare talk to her like that." Chad growled. It was quiet but he certainly got the message across. Troy had been warned.
Troy let out a short puff of air as a breathless chuckle. "He speaks!" He said sarcastically with feigned surprise.
"I'm serious…" Chad warned.
"And to what do we owe this honour, eh?" Troy continued, ignoring Chad's comment. "'Cos you weren't up for talking when I needed you. When Gabriella had gone and I had no-one else." His anger had crossed the border into resentful and livid wretchedness. "You didn't care about me," he sniffed. "But, Taylor…. You'll speak up for her, wont you. I- I thought we were brothers, man."
Things were beginning to get personal. Bitterness filled the air. Today truly was a day of sharing, as all the hidden feelings were uprooted. The bad sides of people were being revealed. The dark truth behind their twisted feelings was finally coming to light.
"I had my own prob-."
Troy cut him off by getting to his feet so suddenly that if you blinked you'd have missed it. "Well, that's the thing. What exactly is your problem?" He asked without sincerity. It was clear he didn't care to know the answer. "You seem fine to me. I think you're putting it on for attention."
That hurt. It was one thing to have something wrong with you. It was another to have your best friend accuse you of faking it. Putting it on? Troy really had a way of making Chad feel small.
"He's got a point." Ryan felt the need to add.
Chad felt overwhelmed. He turned to Taylor, expecting back-up, but she remained silent. Angered by this, his gaze returned to Troy who was now standing at the foot of his bed.
"You wanna know why I haven't told you guys what's wrong with me?" He asked heatedly. He didn't wait for the answer. "This is why." He pointed downwards to signify the situation. "What's happening here. The fighting." He explained. "I don't trust you any more." He took a second to look at Taylor and, although she couldn't see him, she could tell she was the subject of his gaze. "I don't know you."
"That's the most ridiculous excuse-." Ryan began, only to be interrupted by an equally as unconvinced Troy.
"You talk a lot of crap, d'you know that?" He said rhetorically.
Chad leaned forward from his seated position. "Fuck you!" He yelled.
Troy ignored this and went on. "We're meant to be friends." He spat. "But all you do is take, take, take."
"You can't blame me for Gabriella leaving." Chad knew it was the root of Troy's rage. "That was your own fault. From the way you treated her, I'd be surprised if she ever came back."
"Don't talk to me about-!"
"Is that your plan, Troy?" He continued. The anger in his eyes mixed with the calm in his voice to create an unbearably hard-to-ignore aura around him.
"Shut up!" Troy took another step closer to tower threateningly over his friend.
"Do you wanna make everyone hate you? Is that it?" Chad continued undeterred. "Because that's what you're doing, you know."
Troy's fist clenched. If he and Chad hadn't had so much history he would have knocked the other boy out by now. However, Chad was coming dangerously close to overruling that notion.
"You lost, Gabi." Chad stated. "You're losing me. It's like you enjoy being detested. Making yourself look like a prick."
Troy's fist rose from where it had hung at his side. He may have even hit Chad if it wasn't for the unnerving serenity in the other boy's eyes.
It was as if all the anger in Chad had been washed away. Any emotion in him was gone. He was a blank canvas. His mouth hung open slightly. His eyes stared into Troy's but there was no expression in them. They were blank. He seemed dead.
"What…?" Troy tried to keep the hardness in his voice but could help but tremble slightly. Something weird was going on.
Chad failed to reply. He didn't move a muscle. His body was tense. Troy took a few steps away to see if Chad's empty eyes would follow him. They didn't.
"Stop messing around, Chad." His voice cracked.
Ryan leaned forward in his bed to get a closer look at the sculpture-still boy. "What's he doing?" He whispered timidly.
Taylor tried to listen closely, completely confused as to what was taking place.
Troy waved a hand in front of Chad's face. There was no reaction. Not even a blink. "He's frozen." He said slowly, not believing his own words.
"What do you mean?" Taylor asked, scolding herself for exhibiting such worry for the boy she was no longer supposed to care for.
Ryan shook his head. "Don't fall for it. He's just playing with us." He assured the others and himself.
Troy didn't agree. "I don't even think he's breathing." He pressed a finger under Chad's nose to feel for air.
All of a sudden, Chad pulled back, blinking furiously. He jumped at the sight of Troy so close to him as if just awaking from a dream. He looked around to find all eyes on him and felt lost and confused. "What are you doing?" He asked.
Troy backed away slightly, equally as confused. "What are you doing?" He asked back. "What was that?"
Chad's mouth opened and closed as he battled within himself whether to answer or not and what to say if he did answer. "Forget it." He said finally. "I'm 'putting it on', remember?"
A few hours later…
She didn't usually listen to the messages he left. Today, however, she was feeling exceptionally lonely and craved the sound of his voice. She held the phone to her ear and pressed the centre button.
"Gabi, it's Troy."
She hadn't heard him speak in so long. It brought back feelings she had hidden away. She considered hanging up right then and ignoring him for another week or so. But as she continued to listen, she realised she couldn't tear herself away from him.
"I-I-…I don't know if you got my other messages. Maybe you didn't want to hear them. I understand that."
She instantly regretted deleting his other voicemails. Now she was curious about what they had said.
"I get it if you're still mad at me. I would be too… if I were you. I just wanna-… I just-…"
She heard him sniff and from his voice, could tell that he was crying. He cleared his throat and continued.
"I'm in the room where we had our date. I had to get away from the others. Things got a bit crazy today and I… I think I lost a friend or two. Maybe three."
She wondered what could have happened to cause him such upset. She began to get worried.
"I need you, Gabi. Please talk to me. I need to hear your voice. I need to know you're okay. Just pick up the phone."
Maybe, if the message hadn't been left over an hour ago, she would have. Maybe.
Another time, she may have cried at listening to him open his heart like this, but not now. Not any more. She was numb from feelings like that. All she could feel now was exhaustion.
"I'm leaving the hospital soon."
The joy he may have intended at that statement was met with dread from her.
"I'm gonna come and see you."
No. That wasn't what she wanted. It was hard enough to listen to him. She couldn't see him too.
"Then we can get things back the way they were, okay? You and me, Gabriella. Against the world. We won't need anyone else…. I guess I'll see you soon then… Bye, Gabi. I-… I still love you."
A/N: I'm suffering from awful writers block so apologies if this is the last chapter you see for a while. Hope you enjoyed it although it was very angsty!
xX M Xx