Slowly I come back to consciousness, my eyes opening slowly. I couldn't remember much at all about what happened. I try to move and find myself in restraints. I lift my head up glancing around me to find I'm in the torture room. I was pretty sure I was in a different room just before I blacked out, but there was no proof.
I look at Annie, Johanna, and Enobaria. Annie was the only one who looked like herself, Johanna look almost utterly unrecognizable. Head shaven, blood and cuts and bruises covering every inch of her body. My mouth opens and Peeta's name leaves my lips without my permission.
"He's not here brainless." Johanna says to me almost harshly. Brainless. That's almost exactly how I felt about it. My mind wasn't my own anymore. There was still parts of the old Katniss left in me, but I wasn't sure how much. The old Katniss just had to keep fighting against the capitol's Katniss. The peacekeeper walks in and utters the words
"Finally awake, now are we?" I instantly start shaking again this was going to be painful. I already hurt every place possible, and he was here to make the pain worse.
"Well, since you wouldn't talk and we had narrowed down who had told you about the bombing, we had Portia and Peeta's prep team executed." My mouth drops open as I gasp.
"No." I whisper almost inaudibly, and he chuckles. I felt the tears coming - I was falling apart. How could they do that to Portia, and Peeta's prep team? If I had spoken up I could've saved the prep team, but then Portia's death would be my fault. But, wasn't all of their death's my fault now? Because I didn't talk? I feel myself ready to give up, and stop fighting again, but remind myself I had to keep fighting - for Peeta and Prim.
These two were the only one's who kept me fighting to stay myself, and not just roll over and let the capitol do with me what they wanted. The peacekeeper takes off my restraints and pulls my to the floor. I land on my hands and knees. I knew he was just waiting for orders to come from Snow, before taking me to be hijacked again. At least I was almost positive that I was being hijacked, I had no proof in my clouded memory.
Parts of me were telling me Peeta wanted me dead, and other parts of me were telling me I love him, and I needed to fight against myself for him. I had an internal fight inside myself, against myself. I was almost positive the part of me that loves him was the real me - the old Katniss. Opposed to the other part of me telling me he wanted me dead, and I should want him dead for that. That was all the capitol's Katniss.
Just then Snow opens the door and walks in. He walks to Annie first. I raise my head looking at the open door, and slowly start crawling towards it. I could hear Snow talking to the peacekeeper about Annie, something about using her against Finnick. I wasn't really paying attention though. My goal was to get out of here. Once I reach the open door I get to my feet. The peacekeepers eyes land on me just as I do.
"Stop!" He yells at me, but I take off running down the hall stumbling slightly as I do. I could hear his footsteps behind me, he wasn't beat up and weak like I was, he could run a lot better then I could. I lose my breathe quickly, I wasn't in any condition to be running but I had to get out of here. Another peacekeeper spots me as I turn a corner
"Shit." I mutter under my breath when he looks at me. I turn in the other direction running down the opposite hall. Now I had two peacekeepers running after me, I wasn't going to lie I was surprised they hadn't caught me yet. I reach a glass door, and see the outside. I try to open it to find that it's locked. The peacekeepers were getting closer and I was panicking.
I grab a fire hydrant from the wall and through it at the glass causing it to smash to the ground, setting off sirens as it does. I run through to broken glass getting a few cuts. I trip over a rock falling to the ground. I try to get back up, but I don't do it in time. The peacekeepers grab me and drag me back to the torture room.
"Let me go! Please!" I start yelling, my voice almost sounding like a sob. They throw me on the ground of the torture room. Snow walks over to me.
"You're not going to see Peeta again, dear Katniss." I glare at him his words hurting me. If that meant he was going to kill me, I would accept it. Death would be peaceful over this. The peacekeepers chuckle behind me. Snow looks up to the peacekeepers
"Take her to complete the hijacking, no more stages." I lose my glare, instantly taken over by fear.
"I hear they're planning back in thirteen to break her out, once she's hijacked, we'll just make it easy for them to break her out." Snow's voice comes out snake like. So, Peeta did want to save me, I knew the part of me that loves him was the real me. He didn't want me dead, I knew that. The peacekeeper grabs my arm pulling from the ground and dragging me down the hall.
I try to fight against him, to find that it's no use. He puts me in the chair putting on my restraints. This was it. I had done all that I could do, to fight against it. I was powerless. After today I would no longer be me. I wouldn't be Katniss. I just hope Peeta knew that. The lights turn off and the doctor puts the venom into my system. This repeats over and over, until I wake up in the torture room again. The first words to leave my lips are
"He wants me dead. He's a mutt. He's the reason I'm here."
Johanna looks at me and whispers the word, "Who?"
I raise my head uttering one name, "Peeta."