C.B's Note:
Froggie's note: I don't really have much to say. Sorry it took so long, but the only person who seems to be bothered has been grounded, and so can't read it at the moment anyway. Any errors are almost certainly my fault, sorry about the large amount of author comments in this, but we needed to get the plot up to speed. Oh, and the first bit o conversation's real. The rest... Is a little bit more than reality.
C.B's Disclaimer: TORCHWOOD TORCHWOOD TORCHWOOD WATCH IT!
Froggie's Disclaimer: If you haven't got the idea yet, you're not going to.
"Legally it's their house. But we want it," Bethany giggled.
"So we're stealing it... Deidara's so tired he can't get up..."
Silence.
"Is it weird if I kiss this book right now? It's so cute; he just fell on his but! It's like a baby panda..." silence, "It's like a baby panda..." silence, "He fell on his butt..." silence, "It's like a baby panda." silence, "He fell on his butt, " silence, "It's like a baby panda," silence, "Aren't you tired of that typing yet?" silence, "Aren't you listening..." silence, "Why are you ignoring me? Oh my gosh! It's not Bethany! It's a robot sent by Oochimari to kill me! Oh wait, Oochimari. It really is Bethany typing."
"Yep!" she finally spoke, then laughed, "I think we've finished kicking the people out their house!"
She flipped to Sims3.
"Now Sasuke's tired too. They should rest for a bit, then go back to killing each other."
Almost everyone sat in silence for a while.
"Wait a minute," Deidara broke the silence, "Wasn't Sasori-no-dana here a moment ago?"
"What of it?" Black Zetsu raised an eyebrow.
"And wasn't he dead, un?"
"Oh yeah...!"
"And where's Xion gone?" Roxas shouted.
Everyone shrugged, except for Nizoxe and Ni, who rolled their eyes.
"Now that the plot holes have been filled... I'm expecting the next piece of filler right about... Now!" Ni smiled.
A set of keys fell in everyone's lap.
Nizoxe sighed, "Speak of the Devil and he shall appear," she mumbled.
Erin frowned slightly, looking at the keys in her lap. Slowly, she stood up and summoned a dark portal. With one look and the words – 'My friends – they need me.' – She entered the portal.
"Where's she off to?" Ni pulled a face.
Nizoxe sighed, "1, 2, 3..."
"Oh, right! Yeah!" Ni grinned. "Ten dollars that she's gone to see her boyfriend!"
"WOW! What's that?" Demyx shouted portalling out of the room. Everyone followed him out...
Charley and Kabuto unexpectedly found themselves hiding in a closet and Charley frowned.
"Is he gone yet?"
"Oh Kabuto-kun..."
"I don't think so."
"When do you think he'll leave?"
"I think in about... 5 hours..."
"What do we do til then?"
They both gazed at each other for five minutes then heard a creak as the door opened.
"OH GOD!"
Fortunately it was only the wind...
"Wait, what wind?"
Uh oh...
Xion and co, as they are known to our most strange of authors (Bethany is typing right now) were still sitting on the clock tower.
"Well, this is entertaining?" It was a question, not a statement, curtsey of Xion.
"No it's not."
Their skateboards lacked wheels, and so they continued to sit.
"I spy with my little eye..."
"Sky."
"You win. Again..."
"What are we going to do?"
"Sit here..."
(The authors are thinking...)
"And sit here..."
(Still thinking)
"And..."
A sudden gust of wind blew Namine from the clock tower.
"Help!" she screamed, clinging onto the edge.
Before anyone else could react, Sai grabbed her arm and pulled her up. Smiling all the time, before pulling her into a hug.
Bethany threw her Maths revision guide somewhere in her room. It was even messier than previously, with various revision books and sheets littered all over the floor. Once her notebooks (all 13 of them), and six books on the universe, all containing numerous photos from various telescopes around the world (and even a few dedicated to the Hubble Space Telescope). Not to mention the soft toys scattered all over the place, as she had just changed the sheets, and not yet returned them.
Slamming her head into her bedside table, she screamed, "I HATE STUDY LEAVE!"
"You ok, Bethany?" her mum shouted up the stairs.
"Yeah. Just... Yeah." She called back.
Rolling towards the wall, she began to mutter to herself, "Nitrobacter, Nitrosommes, Rhizobacter, Azobacter..."
The step at the top of the stairs creaked "Yes?" she halted her stream of bacteria. Her room was at the top of the stairs.
Nothing happened, so she shrugged, and went downstairs to prepare for the next exam - Biology .
A very large selection of vehicles sat before the Organisation/Akatsuki mix. Notably, a bright red VW campervan, with white flowers on it, and some push bikes.
"Well..."
Itachi raised his eyebrow, but remained as silent as ever.
"So... I'm assuming this is the filler?" Ni questioned, before shrugging, "Alright guys! Test your keys in the locks!"
After a long time, the cars and other vehicles were revealed as follows:
Xemnas, being Superior of the Inbetween, had a minibus. Pein also had one, and both were identical. With one exception – Xemnas' had 'Organisation XIII' typed on the sides, and Pein's had 'The Akatsuki – S-rank missing nin!'
"A little conspicuous for evil villains," Xigbar laughed, before being shown to his car – a VW campervan. But not the red one, mind you, a bright pink one with Hello Kitty stickers on it. Let us say that he looked suitably ashamed.
Xaldin ignored his whining skilfully, as he inspected his state-of-the-art bat mobile.
Hidan took to skilfully using his turbo-charged lawnmower to sacrifice dusks to Jashin (or so he claimed), whilst also chasing Tobi's Barbie pink VW Beetle all around Marluxia's garden.
Marluxia was suitably horrified by this, and had abandoned his equally pink smart car in the hopes of rescuing his prized Tulips. Unfortunately for him, they were destroyed anyway. Fortunately for him, 11's power is over plants. So he resurrected them, before treating them like small children.
Saix was ignoring him, as he attempted to fix the sun-shield on his red Peugeot 205.
Axel, being Axel, was thrilled to discover that the bright red campervan was for him. He swiftly set about installing seatbelts in the back ("Remember children: always wear your seatbelt!" He beams to an imaginary camera, "Even villains like us find time to plug them in!")
Konan, on the other hand, was washing her rally Subaru – complete with race markings and golden alloys. Many men looked on enviously.
Not Zetsu, however, who was occupied with his white aptera (look it up – it's an eco-car, that wouldn't do normal people, but looks like it and Zetsu would get on swimmingly).
Kakuzu was graced with a Tata-nano. He would be pleased to discover that it is one of the cheapest cars on the planet (according to whatever site I was on at that moment), but no so pleased with the bills.
Demyx, being the epically lazy, water-wielding, far-too-emotional, believing-in-hearts Nobody that we all either love or hate (I'm category 1, although he is rather annoying when he's on your team) had the perfect car! A Bubble car!
However, Kisame's car was not a car. He stared at the shark-shaped submarine in the Lake That Never Was, Itachi standing beside him. Itachi's car was a black Ferrari tunero 450. But, being almost blind, he couldn't find it. Despite the size.
Luxord was looking at a mini cooper, with a Union Jack painted on the top, "They do realise that this isn't a British accent, right?" He asked, to no-one in particular. (The author would like to mention that she is British, and his voice sounds like no accent that she has ever heard in her own country.)
Lexeaus had a giant Land Rover parked up by the castle gates. He simply stared at it.
Deidara was having an immense amount of fun driving around on a motorbike, which make pleasing 'putting' noises from the exhaust. Normally a sign of breakage, but the blonde ninja likened it to a 'mini-explosion'... (You should be able to see where this is going).
Zexion and Roxas, both being underage, had been supplied with push-bikes. Orange pushbikes. Zexion looked at his distastefully (possibly more so because it was sized for his real form than anything else), but Roxas seemed quite pleased with his filler-gift.
Ni was busy polishing her police car, complete with authentic lights, whilst Nizoxe was busy changing the tyres on her lime green VW lupo (I, Bethany, want one of these for my first car!)
Left ignored by the remainder of the group were a pair of skiis, a white Ford Galaxy and a red Peugeot 306.
Transmissions shall be resumed from here later.
Transmissions are being resumed...
"But, what is the purpose of these items?" Pein asked.
Everyone shrugged.
"How are they making theirs go?" Demyx cocked his head to one side.
Right on queue, everyone realised that they couldn't drive. Hidan crashed into Tobi, who got thrown into Luxord, who skidded into Kakuzu, who got vaulted into the Lake that Never Was, which threw up Kisame's submarine, which landed on top of Xigbar, Xaldin, Xemnas, Lexeaus and Konan. This threw rubble all over Pein and Saix. Just to top matters off, Deidara drove straight into the mess, and his motorbike blew up.
Following these recent events, the following canon characters, in this part of the plot, remain ALIVE – Deidara (who knows how), Zexion, Demyx, Axel, Roxas, Zetsu (because man eating plants are EPIC!) and Marluxia. Itachi also survived the incident, and was staring out over the newly dried lake, not seeing any of it... Kisame was standing next to him. Hidan, although not technically dead, had been blasted into tiny little pieces, and Kakuzu wasn't around to sew him back together. Therefore, he is counted as dead.
"Hey assholes!" said a red haired girl opening the door wider and grinning.
Kabuto sighed in relief, "Oh, it's just you guys."
Charley blinked for two seconds then smiled wide.
"Hey wait a minute... Aren't you Tayuya?"
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
"Tayuya, mind your language." retorted an orange haired man from behind her.
"Jirobo...?" Charley squeaked. "How many of you guys are there?"
"There are just us and Sakon, Ukon and Kidomaru."
"Why are you all in my house?"
"We're crashing here seeing as we were dragged here by this weird portal thing..."
"Ok..."
There was a crash from the other room and muted arguing before Sakon and Ukon walked in.
"Hey."
"Hey."
Charley was beginning to freak out.
"But if you guys are here... Then where's Orochimaru?"
DOOM... THIS WAY COMES... .
*time skip*
Once everyone, minus Orochimaru, was assembled in the living room Charley moved on to question them. Tayuya was channel surfing, Sakon and Ukon were arguing with her over which channel to watch despite Ukon not being able to see as he was behind Sakon. Kidomaru was hunting spiders behind the couch and Jirobo was eating a stack of crisps. Kabuto sat between them all sighing and resting his head on one hand.
"So you guys got stuck here and you're crashing in my house?"
"Yeah, kinda."
Raizo finally stopped walking, smiling at a tree.
"What is that idiot doing now?" Zabuza muttered.
"I don't know, master Zabuza, but he's been doing it for a long time now..."
It was then that a dark portal appeared and Erin, of all people, stepped out.
"Oh. Hi, Jiminy..." she smiled.
"S...Sakura?" Raizo replied. (vol. 28)
"Okay... What the hell?"
"Why not explain the situation to that boy, Riku?" Erin twisted her hair around a finger.
"Do you know why...?" (vol. 34)
"Are you going to tell us what you're doing, or not?"
Erin turned to Haku and Zabuza, as did Raizo.
"I am under no obligation to tell you." (vol. 44)
"Okay, you know there are many other worlds out there besides your castle and this town, right?"
"And your point is?" Zabuza raised an eyebrow. Haku kept his silence.
"They've been secret because they've never been connected. Until now. When the Heartless came, everything changed." Erin smiled, flicking her wrist. Darkness swirled around it, and a shadow Heartless appeared before her.
"First off, what the hell is that? Second off, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Master Zabuza, calm down. I'm sure there's a meaning behind all this."
"Gosh, is that all that's left of the worlds taken by the Heartless?" Erin blinked at them, "They gather in darkness, master less and free...until they weave together to make Kingdom Hearts. And when that time comes, we can truly, finally exist." (KH 2)
"That doesn't make any sense..." Zabuza growled.
"In other words, it's like how addin' mint flavour to a swirled chocolate n' vanilla soft serve makes it even more delicious." (vol. 44)
"I guess that makes sense – not entirely plausible, but..."
Haku simply nodded.
"So, now what?" Zabuza asked.
Raizo looked quickly at Erin, who nodded. Reaching out her arm, she created another dark co-oridoor, "The worlds gave us this doorway. They want us to be the guardians of their destiny!" (KH 2)
She stepped inside, and smiled behind herself, "Shh, quiet. We've gotta be careful."
Raizo followed, grinning.
"Darn you, curiosity," Zabuza quietly cursed, following them. Haku ran beside him...
Returning from her exam, she could sense something wrong in her room. Frowning, she paced up the stairs. She was about to say 'hello', before deciding against it. It would only lead to trouble.
She squeaked open the door. Eyes narrowed, she looked around the room. Nothi- Wait.
Her chair was on her bed. She walked over to her bed, before flipping around to face her desk, and ducking down.
"Up," she muttered, rubbing her head. Three male figures scrambled out from under her desk. Two brunettes, one silver haired...
"Sorry," the silver haired one ducked his head.
Bethany shook her head tiredly, "Fine. You can hide in here."
"Wha-?"
"Look. I'm writing the story, and know that you are the data forms of Riku, Sora and Tidus. I also know that you're running away from a crazy red-head, who happens to be called Kairi, but I'm lacking the inspiration to find out slowly. So, you can hide here. Well... It might be a squash, so you can sleep in the conservatory. Or the garden shed." She smiled. "And D. Is short for data."
"Say again?" D. Sora frowned.
Bethany grabbed their hands, and dragged them downstairs, through the living room, and into the conservatory. A wooden table was on one side, covered in coloured paper and arts/crafts materials. Shelves lined the brick wall, which were covered in toys. A broken keyboard was on a make-shift stand near the door, and dolls clothes covered the floor, "You three can sleep in here, and hide from Kairi. If you need something, you found my room, and you can spend the days up there. Don't let my parents find you, or my evil siblings. Keep the noise down. Don't do anything illegal, incriminating, swear, make inflammatory comments, talk-down religions or use electronics after dinner. Good day."
Sora ran up to the door, Sasuke, Karin, Jugo and Suigetsu close behind, "Let us in!"
And electronic voice beeped out, "To enter, you must pass the assigned tests. Please nominate a female player."
"I vote Sasuke!" Suigetsu shouted.
Sasuke glared in response, before nodding to Karin, "What? Fine..."
"Please step up to the touch-board."
Karin did so, rolling her eyes.
"Please begin the game. To enter, you must win."
The screen turned on, as did one above it, to reveal that it was, truly, a giant DSi. Karin won with ease.
"Congratulations, girl. You pass the test. Please now return to the station plinth..."
Karin was pushed backwards by a strong gust of wind, "See, Sasuke?" she flirted.
Sora pouted successfully.
(And so, for the second time recently... I had wanted to get on with something else, but... *sigh*)
"Completed."
Suigetsu appeared on the plinth previously occupied by Karin. With a gag on.
"You must now win against me, the door, water-man!" the door screamed.
"What the hell?"
"Welcome to my world!" Sora laughed, "You should meet the GM clones!"
(The battle will be written in simple format, as I have edited it twice, and lost it both times.)
The Door sent out Quilava level 45
Intruder sent out Manaphy level 49
Manaphy used Bubble beam
The Door's Quilava was knocked out!
The Door sent out Gyrados level 36.
Manaphy, get back! Go Riolu (level 50)!
The door's Gyrados used bite
Intruder's Riolu used aura sphere.
The door's Gyrados used dragon rage.
Intruder's Riolu used shadow claw.
The Door's Gyrados used surf.
Riolu, get back (12 HP)! Go Mudkip (level 35).
The Door's Gyrados used bite.
The Door's Gyrados used dragon rage.
Intruder's Mudkip used surf (3 HP).
It was a Critical Hit!
Mudkip, get back! Go shellos (level 21)
The Door's Gyrados used Aqua Tail.
Shellos was knocked out! Go manaphy!
Intruder's Manaphy used waterfall! It was not very effective...
The Door's Gyrados was knocked out.
The Door sent out Drowzee, level 15.
Manaphy, get back! Go, Squirtle! (Level 24)
The Door's Drowzee used hypnosis.
Squirtle fell asleep!
The Door withdrew Drowzee.
Tentacruel level 24 was sent out.
Squirtle is asleep
Squirtle get back! Go, Horsea!
The Door's Tentacruel used acid.
Horsea was knocked out... Go Manaphy!
The Door withdrew Tentacruel.
The Door sent out Gloom level 24.
Intruder's Manaphy used surf.
The Door's Gloom was knocked out. Misdrevious level 20 was sent in.
Manaphy, get back! Go Squirtle!
The Door's Misdrevious used astonish.
Misdrevious was withdrawn from battle.
The Door sent out Tentacruel.
Squirtle woke up and used bite!
Squirtle, get back! Go get 'em, Manaphy!
The Door's Tentacruel used wrap.
Intruder's Manaphy was wrapped.
The Door withdrew Tentacruel, and sent out Misdrevious
Intruder's Manaphy used hyper beam to no effect.
Intruder's Manaphy used surf.
The Door's Misdrevious was knocked out!
Tentacruel was sent in.
Intruder's Manaphy used hyper beam.
The Door's Tentacruel was knocked out. Drowzee was sent out.
Intruder's Manaphy must recharge.
The Door's Drowzee missed with Hypnosis.
Manaphy, get back! Go get 'em, Squirtle!
The Door's Drowzee used confusion.
Intruder's Squirtle used bite.
The Door's Drowzee flinched
Intruder's Squirtle used rapid spin!
...
Intruder wins!
Suigetsu was teleported back to his team, still gagged. The computer went into overload.
"Cannot... Cannot... Loose."
"We won!" Sora grinned.
"Yes we did," Sasuke patted the hyper boy on the head.
The door unlocked, as the four ninja and the Keyblade wielder entered that which never was...
A while later, and Bethany had finished her exams. She was earning some well earnt rest, relaxing on her bed; soon to be tipped (it was only 19 years old – older than the author herself). D. Riku was sitting on her chair; D. Sora on her suitcase, ready for the wedding at the weekend, and D. Tidus was sitting on top of the pile of books on her desk.
Tidus picked up a blue sheet of paper, with official looking writing on, "Hey, what's this?"
Bethany glanced over, "Oh, just my visa requests for interfictional travel..."
"Untimed and unlimited visas to Kingdom Hearts (all worlds), Pokemon (all regions) and Naruto (all states). 12 year visa to Harvest Moon (all islands) and Harvest Fishing)."
"Uh – huh." She replied, thinking about how best to fix some plot holes...
Tidus flipped the paper over, "Banned in Sims for actions of genocide..."
"Hey!" Bethany shouted, "Ghosts are cool! And it wasn't genocide... Quite."
"...The realm of little brother's bedroom, for theft..."
"I was rescuing his books..."
"...And the 'real' world."
"That one's complicated." She grinned, "Still here, though."
The three of them looked at her.
"Hey – it's not as bad as Charley!"
They didn't seem convinced.
"Fine! We'll go meet her, then!"
Anime Heaven was suddenly very full. In the time it took Vexen to blink, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Lexeaus, Saix, Luxord, Pein, Konan, Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi had all materialised. The pre-recorded welcome message bleeped away happily, as various items appeared. It was starting to get very crowded...
"Where the fuck is this?" Hidan shouted.
Nobody graced the question with an answer.
A long while later...
"Hum... Intriguing... It seems as though we are being killed off at an ever increasing rate, for no obvious reason..." Vexen observed, "More study is required." He made his way over to the brand new lab, situated in the middle of the room.
The television turned itself on...
The remainder of the Organisation and Akatsuki had returned to the meeting room. Zexion was reading, Demyx was playing his Sitar, Axel and Roxas were doing... things... behind one of the chairs (take that to be as dirty as you like – but I'm thinking Origami), Itachi seemed to now be completely blind, as Kisame was having to lead him everywhere. Marluxia was lamenting the loss of his garden. Deidara was sculpting – we are uncertain whether it were exploding clay or not – whist wrapped in a large number of bandages. Zetsu, being Zetsu, was finishing off 'disposing' of the bodies of the fallen comrades. Ni and Niz were sitting, as though waiting for something.
There was a knock at the door...
Erin, Raizo, Zabuza and Haku entered.
"Hey, what's up?" Erin grinned.
"And, to whom do we have the pleasure of addressing."
"It's the guy who's *not* Ansem!" Erin said in a deadly serious tone.
Zabuza growled.
The television flickered off again.
"Well... At least we know what's going on, now..."
Bethany jumped out of the back seat of the car, grinning.
"And text me to say if you want tea!"
"Yes, Mum!" she shouted back, running up to the house before her, and pressing the doorbell. She didn't release it until a girl with her hair tied in a towel answered it – none other than the infamous Charley.
"Hey."
"Hi." Bethany turned around, "These are the Data Riku, Data Sora and Data Tidus."
"Where are you banned from?" D. Sora immediately asked.
Charley grinned, "Oh, just Pokemon for crimes against gaming, Mario for trashing Peach's castle (we had a party, ok?) And some stuff I can't remember which universes... But I think I was probably high. I've got the papers. Somewhere."
She waved it off.
"And she's your partner in time?"
"Oh, yes!" Bethany seemed thrilled by the idea.
Two hours later...
Bethany and Charlotte sat on the latter's bed. The Sound ninja were sitting on her sister's bed, facing in the opposite direction. Well, with the exception of Ukon. Data Riku and Kabuto were sitting on the floor in front of the crazy authors, leaning against the bed and gazing at the books. Data Tidus and Data Sora were sparing in between the bookshelves and beds – a space barely wide enough to walk between. Everyone had a bag of crisps next to them – some open, some not, and all in various stages of completion.
"Sora. Tidus... You're going to break something."
The doorbell rang.
"Tayuya, can you get that?" Charley shouted.
The ninja blanked her.
"You do realise that you're the only person supposed to be here? So maybe you should get the door..." Bethany suggested.
"Fine," Charley stood up, "And don't eat my crisps, Sora!"
"Why would I-?" the Data Sora turned to face her.
D. Tidus hit him square in the back, "I win!"
"No fair!"D. Sora laughed.
Charley re-appeared. A man with a clipboard was following her.
"So, where is the damp?" he asked.
Charley pointed to the back corner. The man made his way over, dodging the legs of various fictional beings. Bethany pretended to ignore him as he worked.
Her Dad not being in, and her mother out with her sister, Charley had to show the man around the small house.
A little while later, the damp man left, telling them to open the windows. They heard the man drive off, and Bethany, feeling immature this morning, went over to the window to wave goodbye to him. She did so, but returned looking confused, "There's a lorry outside, that doesn't belong to the damp man..."
"Why's there a lorry?" Charley asked.
"What is a lorry?" D. Sora asked.
"Um... You don't need to know."
Bethany thought for a moment, "Wait... We were giving out vehicles, so..."
"You mean...?" They resorted to whispering, just loud enough for all in the room to hear.
"I think Orozooshe's here..."
"Who's that?" Tayuya frowned.
"Orozumari..."
"Who?"
"Ozumarokee."
"Sorry?"
"Oo – Zee – Mark – EEEEE!"
"What the hell?"
"She means Orochimaru," Charley sighed.
"Of course I mean the snake freak!" Bethany shouted.
The doorbell rang.
*1 this is an inside joke.