7

Blissful is the ignorant heart,

But never shall it know true bliss,

Without a counterpart

HENRICO MARKS

"Jade! Where are you, girl?"

"Here I am, Otosan."

"I want you to make sure you and Jasmine are dressed in your best clothes tonight."

"Why?"

My father's eyes darted around nervously, looking everywhere but at me. Why was he acting this way? Did something happen? Was he in trouble again?

"Just do as I say and don't ask silly questions!"

"Hai. Gomen nasai."

I watched him storm off to his room, slamming the door shut and bellowing out that he didn't want to be disturbed.

I had a bad feeling in my stomach, but went to find Jasmine nonetheless.

We spent the afternoon preparing ourselves. Both my sister and I took a bath before changing into our best kimonos. When we had done that, I made Jasmine sit still while I did her hair.

"What's going on, Jade?"

I shook my head and sighed.

"I don't know, Jasmine. Perhaps Father is having guests over and he wants us to look pretty."

"In that case," Jasmine paused and jumped up, rushing out of the room before I could say anything. She came back moments later carrying something in her arms. She knelt down before me and placed the object on the ground so I could see what it was.

It was a deep blue hair ribbon.

The one that used to belong to my mother.

"Jasmine what – "

"You said he wants us to look pretty. You should wear Mother's ribbon."

"But I can't."

"Why not? You're the eldest daughter, and you work so hard. You take care of everything, including me. You deserve this more than anyone."

Smiling, I lifted the ribbon, running my fingers over its smooth texture. To think that the same ribbon that used to adorn my mother's hair would now adorn mine. Jasmine took the ribbon and moved to sit behind me. I allowed her to do my hair up, tying it securely in place with the silky piece of cloth. When she was finished, I turned to her.

"I'm sure that if Mother were here, she would be very proud of you."

Our happy moment was shattered when I heard our father calling us. Quickly Jasmine and I got to our feet and hurried to the receiving room. I slid the door open and we both entered before dropping to our knees and bowing respectfully. Two men and a woman were seated across from my father, but they turned their heads to look at us.

"Come closer," our father ordered. We obeyed quickly, moving closer. I was surprised when he beckoned us to sit at his side. He never showed us such honor.

Something wasn't right here.

"Well, here you see them. Jade is my oldest, and her sister Jasmine is the younger one."

I was confused by my father's words. Why would he wish to present us to his friends? And who were these people anyway?

I took a moment to study them. The woman was older than the rest, at least in her mid 40's. She had a hard, stern face, and she sat with her hands folded in her lap, scrutinizing us.

The man next to her was younger, somewhere in his late 20's. He too had a hard face, and there was an air of authority about him. He sat upright with his chin raised slightly, showing everyone that he thought he was better. He looked strong, but surprisingly he carried no weapons on him.

Finally the last man, and the only one who had a sword with him. He had narrow eyes and long dark hair which he wore tied back in a high ponytail. He wore a white headband as well as a white and blue cloak. From this, I could easily tell he was a member of the Shinsengumi, the proud group of swordsmen who worked for the Shogun government. They believe in one principle only:

Aku Soku Zan

Slay Evil Immediately

"How old are they?" the woman asked.

"13," my father answered.

"Hm, that's older than I thought. Oh well, they're pretty enough. It's up to you to pick, Narita-sama. Which one will be your bride?"

Bride? Had they come here with marriage in mind? But we were still far too young to marry. Father wouldn't allow it!

I glanced over at my father, but he was staring blankly at the ground. I was wrong. He had every intention of allowing this.

"You there. The older one."

I looked up and saw the man in the middle beckoning to me. My father nudged me and I shifted closer, kneeling in front of the man.

He sat back to admire me, then reached out with his hand and grabbed my chin, turning my face from side to side. I watched as his smirk widened.

"I like this one. She has a serious look in her eyes. She will make a good wife."

I felt my stomach churning with fear.

Oh please, please let this be a bad dream. Why was this happening?

"Alright. I'll take this one with me, and the younger sister will go with you, Yui-san."

I pulled back, moving over to my father.

"Otosan, what is going on?"

"Ah, so you haven't told them yet? Too ashamed to admit to your daughters that you're selling them off?"

"Papa, is that true?" Jasmine asked, turning to face him.


I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. Our father was harsh, but I never suspected he'd go this far.

He said nothing in reply, avoiding our eyes at all costs. His shame made me want to scream. If he was so ashamed of selling us, then why was he doing it?

"You cannot do this! Please! You cannot send me away from Jasmine," I pleaded, prostrating myself before him. I know our father didn't exactly take good care of us, but we weren't that troublesome. Jasmine and I were able to take care of ourselves.

He had no reason to separate and send us away!

"I have no choice, now get up!" my father hissed. I slowly raised my head to look at him, but it was no use. He still would not look at me.

Tears of anger and frustration burned in my eyes. I glanced at Jasmine and saw she was confused and upset.

I boldly turned to the others.

"You have no right to take us away."

"Jade!"

I heard the alarm in my father's voice, but chose to ignore it. Instead I locked eyes with the man in the middle, daring him to try anything. The man's arrogant smirk widened and he turned his head to the man from the Shinsengumi.

The swordsman picked up his weapon and drew the blade from its sheath. He moved so swiftly, that before I could realize he had moved, he was standing behind my father and Jasmine, his sword raised as if to strike them.

I gasped, but my body refused to move.

"Let's get one thing straight, Jade-chan. People who stand in my way are swiftly dealt with. Your father owes me a lot of money, but I am willing to forget that debt in exchange for his pretty little daughters. Of course, I only need one woman, which is why I am selling your younger sister to Yui-san where she will become one of her Geishas."

"Please don't hurt them," I begged, my voice coming out as a mere whisper.

"Saito, it's alright."

The Shinsengumi swordsman lowered his sword and moved back to his place, sitting down and sheathing his sword. I turned to Narita-sama.


"Now, do I have your word that you'll obey and come quietly?" he asked me.

I lowered my eyes, realizing I had no choice if I wanted to protect Jasmine.

"Hai."

I could feel him smiling smugly, and my hatred for him grew in intensity. His hand came up and stroked my hair gently. He paused a moment before grabbing hold of the ribbon in my hair and yanking it loose.

"You have no more use for this. It makes you look childish, and you are no longer a child. From today onward," he paused and tilted my chin up so that I was looking him in the eye, "you are my wife. . ."

I woke with a start, sitting bolt upright and gasping for air. I glanced around me and realized I was in my room. Breathing out a sigh of relief, I loosened my grip on the sheets and covered my face with my hand.

Nightmares. . .

When would they end?

Almost immediately I began laughing at my own ridiculous question. They would never end. I would never be completely free of Hideki.

He would always haunt me in my dreams.

The hot afternoon sun burned down upon the earth, causing waves of heat to rise up from the ground.

Kenshin didn't let it bother him too much, focusing instead on putting one foot ahead of the other while listening to the sound of insects buzzing around his head.

He walked with his eyes half closed in thought, allowing his memory to guide him. Back when he had lived here, he had frequently wandered the different roads around Otsu and he knew them all like the back of his hand

Today was their birthday. Jasmine had told him during his last visit. He had spent a whole two weeks searching for the perfect gift. For Jasmine he had bought a box of her favorite sweets, which she had casually mentioned while telling him it was their birthday.

But buying a gift for Jade had proved to be difficult. He wanted to give her something nice without going too overboard. He didn't want to put her off. He had eventually found something simple but nice – enough to show that he cared.

He paused when he came to the small hill where he and Tomoe had stayed, the same hill he and Jade had visited the last time he was in Otsu.

Jade had surprised him. He had expected her to push him for answers, but she hadn't. Tomoe had always pushed, questioning his way of life at every turn and expecting him to explain his motives.

Jade wasn't like that. The faith she had in him; it was more than anyone had ever had in him. Tomoe had trusted him, yes, but it had been a shallow trust. They had never had that deep understanding – that unbreakable connection between two people who had suffered the same fate, who had tasted the bitterness of betrayal.

Maybe if he'd met Jade earlier, things would have been different. But their timing was all off. He couldn't do this anymore. It was busy destroying him.

He had to say goodbye.

For good.

I sat on the large boulder that stood next to the stream, dangling my feet over the side and dipping my toes into the cool water. Kenshin stood with his back to me, leaning against the same boulder I sat on. He had been strangely quiet during his whole visit, but then I hadn't been much more talkative.

It seems we were both troubled by something.

"Jade, I got you something for your birthday."

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

He turned to face me, rummaging through his clothes for something. He finally found what he was looking for and withdrew his hand.

I felt my stomach drop when I saw what he was holding.

It was a ribbon – a blue, satin ribbon.

A lump formed in my throat and I fought against the flood of memories. Kenshin noticed the distraught look on my face and quickly pulled his hand back.

"You don't like it. I'm sorry, I should have known."

"No, I love it. It's just. . ."

Leaving my sentence hanging, I reached out and took the ribbon from his grasp. I lowered my face and clutched the piece of cloth close to my chest, remembering that fateful day my father sold us off.

"My mother used to have a ribbon just like this."

Even without looking at him, I could sense his eyes widening. I didn't blame him for being surprised. This was the first time I'd mentioned my mother in front of him.

"What happened to it?"

"Hideki got rid of it. He said that it made me look childish, and he didn't want a child as a wife."

Without looking at him, I lifted my hands and proceeded to tie up my hair with the ribbon. When I was done, I gave him a faint smile.

"What do you think?"

He returned my smile with one of his own and gently brushed a strand of hair from my eyes.

"Beautiful. There is nothing childish about you."

Before I could get caught up by his words, I noticed a certain look in his eyes that made me stop. He was staring at me, his eyes taking in every detail of my face. The realization hit me.

"You're not planning on coming back, are you?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but ended up looking away. I felt my anger towards him building, but it was the disappointment that broke my heart. I should have known he would grow tired of coming all this way to visit us. What did I have to offer a man of his caliber? He had come to visit the first few times because he was too nice to just abandon us. But now he wanted to go back to his life, and there was nothing I could do to stop him from leaving.

"I see," I whispered, turning my face away from him so he wouldn't see the tears that threatened to spill. I heard him sigh before he climbed up onto the rock and sat down next to me.

"Do you think I'm leaving because of you?"

I couldn't lie to him, so I simply nodded my head.

"Well you're right, in a way, though I'm not leaving because I don't want to be with you."

I looked up at him in surprise, and he turned his head to meet my gaze.

"It's because I do."

I drew in a sharp breath, surprised by his confession. What was he saying? That he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him? Could it be true?

He sighed again and turned his gaze to the front.

"A little more than a year ago, I was given an assignment to kill a certain man. When I found the man, he had two bodyguards with him. I wasn't surprised by this, nor was I worried since I knew I could handle it. I easily took out the first bodyguard, but when the second one tried to come for me, the man I was assigned to kill pushed him out of the way and charged instead. Again, he was no threat and he died swiftly. I turned to the second bodyguard, the only one left alive now, and told him I had no business with him, and that he could lower his weapon and walk away unscathed. He didn't listen, and flew at me in rage. I rushed at him and managed to cut him down, but not before his sword left its mark on me."

He paused and reached up with his fingers to touch the scar on his cheek.

"He did this to you?" I asked.

"Not all of it. Just one slice that ran down to my chin. Even after some time had passed, the wound would still bleed from time to time. Not long after that, I met a woman named Tomoe. She had come across me in the streets one night after she had spent some time drinking in a nearby tavern, and passed out on the spot. I took her with me to the Inn where I was staying, and the woman who ran the place was kind enough to give her a job. Tomoe spent a lot of time talking to me, and I found myself telling her more than I had ever told anyone. Then one night the Shinsengumi attacked, killing off many of our men. No one knew how they'd found us, but I was certain someone had sold us out. My boss, Katsura, escaped and found me. He told me to take Tomoe and run away to Otsu. He arranged a place for us to stay and told us we had to pretend to be married. He said that the Shinsengumi would be looking for an assassin, not a happily married man."

"So that burned down house we visited, that was where you two lived?"

"Hai. We lived there for nearly a year, and during that time I married Tomoe for real."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. What a fool I was. Of course he had fallen in love before. How could any woman not love Kenshin? Despite what he was, his heart was purer than any man I'd ever met.

In my heart, I knew I had to let him go. But first, I wanted to hear the rest of his story.

"What happened then?"

"One morning, I woke to find Tomoe was gone. I waited for her to come back, but instead one of my comrades showed up. He told me they'd discovered who the spy was."

"Who was it?"

"Tomoe."

I gasped but Kenshin held up his hand, indicating I should wait.

"The news destroyed me. I couldn't handle the fact that she had used me. I found out then that the man who had given me half of this scar had been engaged to Tomoe, so in a way, she was repaying me for taking away her happiness. I went looking for her, but I was attacked by members of the Shogun. It had all been part of their plan. Tomoe had sought me out and made me fall in love with her so that when she betrayed me, I would be too devastated to fight. Their plan was quite effective, however I managed to stay alive long enough to face the mastermind behind the whole scheme."

He fell silent for a moment, lowering his face so I wouldn't see the pain the memories brought. I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue on his own time. I was starting to understand why it was so difficult for him to trust people.

"The man I fought was strong, and in my injured state I would have lost had it not been for her. At the last second, she jumped in and stopped the man's attack against me, saving my life but forfeiting hers. The attack that had been meant for him ended up cutting through them both. I caught her in my arms, and during her last few moments, she raised her dagger and gave me the other cut that makes up the cross-shaped scar. I carried her body all the way back to our house where I said my goodbyes and promised her I would never kill again once the Revolution had ended."

I hung my head, staring blankly at my hands. It all made sense now. I had been selfish and naive, thinking he would never understand the pain I had endured. Now I knew, his experiences were far worse than mine.

"Kenshin, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. . . "

"I'm sorry too. Sorry I hadn't met you before Tomoe. I loved her, yes, but I've come to love you more."

I looked at him, my heart palpitating in my chest while the butterflies in my stomach fluttered erratically.

"Kenshin – "

He cut me off by bringing his hands up to cup my face.

"Can you understand now why I must leave you? Until this bloody Revolution ends, I cannot be the man you deserve. Both Hideki and I are swordsmen, and our hands are covered in blood. What you deserve is not a man who is always leaving you to fight for his country, but a husband who will always be at your side until you have both lived out your lives."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as he said this and I grasped one of his hands, turning my face so that my lips were pressed to his palm.

"My mother died during childbirth, so my sister and I grew up around men, but you are the only one who has treated me with love and respect. All my life I've been expected to submit to their wishes."

"Who's wish was it for you to marry Hideki?"

"It doesn't matter really. I did it to protect Jasmine and my father, even though it was all his fault."

"Your father's?"

"Hai. He was an incessant gambler, and he ended up owing Hideki a lot of money. He agreed to forget all my father's debts if he would give us up. So he did. At first I refused, but Hideki had Saito threaten to kill my sister and father if I didn't obey. I had no choice, so Hideki took me as his wife and Jasmine he sold to the woman who ran the Geisha house. That's how I ended up with him."

Kenshin pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against his body.

"Even more reason why you deserve to be happy."

"You make me happy, Kenshin."

"Jade – "

"Don't leave. Stay with me, please."

"If only I could, but I owe it to both you and Tomoe to bring peace to this country. I want you to be truly free."

He pulled away from me, despite my efforts to cling to him, and rose to his feet.

"Jade, I wish you and Jasmine all the best. Take care of her, and I hope that one day I can see you happily married to a good and kind man."

"Kenshin please!"

He turned away and walked off, leaving me to watch his retreating figure.

In my chest, my heart broke into a million pieces.

Pieces that would never again be whole.