Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks

Chapter 7 (Skye's POV)

I liked numbers. Maybe even loved them. To a lot of people they were terrifying, but to me they were more of a comfort than anything else. They were consistent and steady. Which was more than could be said for me lately. It had been about a week since the whole movie night ordeal, but to say I was still thinking about it was an understatement.

I usually liked Sunday afternoon because it was perfect for getting lost in a research paper, or even a math textbook. But I admit the time and quiet was just making it harder to keep my thoughts off of Jeffrey. Squinting I tried to picture the equation in my head. Math always had to obey certain laws, and as long as you understood those laws, you never had to be uncertain of anything.

I felt myself smile slowly as the correct answer appeared in my head like always. When it came to math, I knew the rules. I even understood how each piece fit together to form the larger whole. I realized I really liked understanding, I mean as opposed to not. Maybe some people would have preferred the uncertainty. The process, as Jane had put it. But...well I think I'd rather just know the end result. I wished I could condense my future into a neat little number that was either correct or wasn't.

I wasn't scared of the numbers, I was scared of the process.

Leaning back on my bed I shut my eyes. And the process was as quick or slow as life dictated. But usually it wasn't up to me to decide which I'd rather. The other day everything was moving too fast, but right now everything felt like it wasn't moving at all. Like life had told me that something big was coming, but didn't tell me when, or how things would end up. Was I waiting on a happy ending or a tragedy? Or nothing at all…?

So here I was… Stuck in the process, with no clear end result to be seen.

Downstairs the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, so when I heard the faint piano my eyes almost startled open.

Batty.

I thought to myself. She always practiced on Sunday afternoons. And any other chance she got for that matter. I just laid there listening for a few minutes, and might have fallen asleep if Iantha's words from the camping trip hadn't been ringing in my ears. All that about art and science being the same, about Jeffrey and me being the same. If that was true, then music must have been his math, his stars, his certainty…

I felt myself frown. Art was never certain. It was too much like life, driven by crazy emotions. And frankly you never knew where it all might end up. I'd seen that first hand when Jeffrey played the piano. He seemed to enjoy playing at random more than following sheet music. He'd close his eyes and to hear him tell it, "let his heart lead him."

Jeffrey enjoyed the process.

But I didn't. Did I?

Before I knew what I was doing I found myself slinking quietly down the stairs, and leaning in the doorway of the living room. Batty was facing the other way, and she seemed too preoccupied by the music to notice me anyway. She was my youngest sister, yet I got the feeling there was a lot she knew that I didn't. A lot she understood, that I was still guessing at.

She understood the same language Jeffrey did, she even spoke it. Were Jeffrey and me just too different? Could it really ever work?

I was about to go back upstairs when the music suddenly stopped and Batty turned to face me with a smile. "I didn't disturb your reading did I?"

Shaking my head I took a few steps into the room. "Uh no...I was just... listening I guess." Batty raised a curious eyebrow at the thought of me being interested in her music, and suddenly I was feeling more self-conscious than ever. So I said the first thing that came to my mind. "W-What were you playing anyway?"

Batty leaned back toward the piano a little and smiled again. "Oh nothing in particular, I was just playing."

"Oh" I mumbled with a nod. The awkward silence was only getting worse, so I was just about to see myself out, when she spoke up again.

Patting the spot next to her on the stool, she grinned up at me a little wider. "Do you want to listen Skye?"

I just stared at her for a second or two before I nodded and hesitantly went to sit next to her. Sitting behind a piano never felt comfortable. It was like the first time you ever sat in the driver's seat, except this was one car I doubted I'd ever learn to drive.

"Do you remember that math exam you helped me study for a few months back?" Batty asked out of the blue as she tapped a few keys softly.

"Uh yeah, you passed didn't you?" I asked suddenly feeling a little guilty that I hadn't thought to ask her how she did.

She grinned and nodded, seeming excited at the memory. "Yep, I sure did, thanks to you anyway."

"Well you were a pretty quick study," I said with a slight smile. "I mean trust me… when you're used to tutoring Jane…"

Batty laughed. It was that same bubbling laugh she'd had since she was just a baby. It was a little deeper now of course, but it still brought back so many memories.

Chewing her lip slightly she pecked a few more keys. "I'm not much better than Jane at math, but something you told me really helped."

"What's that?"

She turned her head to look at me, and her eyes, just like her voice, still held the same childish wonder to them. Like she was about to tell me an important secret.

"You taught me that math has a pattern to it. That I just needed to learn that pattern, and then I could figure out anything."

I smirked a little at the irony. That pattern was the same as the certainty I had just been thinking about.

"Yeah it made sense to me though," she continued. "Because it's a lot like music."

I frowned suddenly. "How is music like math?"

"Because it follows patterns too. Watch…"

Reaching she played a few simple notes and then followed with a few more. "Music has rhythm and harmony. Pattern. It's a way that helps us predict what notes might come next." I watched her hands moving over the keys, as I listened for what she meant. After a minute or so I did seem to see some kinda pattern. The notes were repeating in a certain sequence.

"But…" I added as I kept watching her hands. "What if the notes don't always fit into a pattern. How do you predict it then?"

She smiled a little softer. "Then you're surprised. No one can ever completely predict where a melody is going to go, not unless you're already learned it. But the first notes that you hear can give you a clue about everything that's going to come later… If you listen closely you can guess the basic tone or tempo, even if you don't know the exact notes."

"So…" I began as I tried to get it all straight in my head. "What you hear to begin with can basically tell you what kind of song it's gonna turn into?"

Batty nodded. "Yes that's right. Each note is like moment that builds on and influences the next note, and the same with the one after that. But some songs can change tone very quickly. Like maybe it starts with a happy sound, then gloomy in middle, and finally happy again in the end."

I frowned as I bit on my lip in thought. "Then how can you ever be sure what's gonna happen? I mean if it can all start so great and turn out horrible?"

Batty gave me sideways glance before she focused on the keys below her fingers again. "I said gloomy Skye, not horrible. No song is horrible to me. It's just different. Afterall I like gloomy songs sometimes. Especially if they turn out happy again in the end."

I wanted to take in everything she was saying, because I got the feeling that somehow...we weren't just talking about music.

"Notes are moments Skye, some are happy, some are sad, but it's the stringing them together that counts. Otherwise you'd never have any kind of song. I mean if you were too afraid to play."

I let out a slow breath. "But what if you make a mistake? Or if you play the whole thing and then you realize it's just a sad song?"

The words felt funny coming out of my mouth. She was my youngest sister, and I'd never expected her to give me advice. But..

Batty looked a little confused at first, like she was trying to understand what I meant. She stopped playing and turned to look me in the eyes. Her eyes were earnest, and innocent, hopeful...simple… I couldn't help but wonder when my own became so cynical.

"I don't know…" She finally whispered. "That really would be sad… But, if I never even learned how to play the piano in the first place, well I think that would be worse."

I just sat there quietly as I let her words sink into me.

"You know…" she whispered slowly. "People have patterns too. And all the moments we spend with them are like the notes that tell us where their melody is going next. If we listen close we could probably tell if our notes could ever harmonize with theirs."

If notes really were like moments than I could only imagine how the song of my life would sound like. I pictured ramming into Jeffrey way back at that hedge as one sharp note, followed by a bunch of gruff ones. It wasn't like I really liked him from the start. Our song got off to a rough start that was for sure. But the more I thought back...the more I listened… The more I realized that those weren't the only notes I heard.

We were on very different ends of the scale yeah, but… But we always seemed to find a way to turn all that difference into...into something that made us both better for it in the end. My life was already different because of meeting Jeffrey. But not just different, it was, I was...better for being his friend.

Was that a song? Was that a pattern...?

I didn't know…

But even as afraid as I was of not knowing what was going to happen next, I was more afraid of never having the chance to find out.

"Did Jeffrey teach you all that with the piano lessons?" I asked in a mumble.

She smiled with a chuckle. "No silly. You both taught me that."

"W-What how?"

Slipping from the piano bench she walked toward the open doorway while my confused gaze followed. Then just before leaving she glanced back over her shoulder. Brown curls fell into her eyes, and for just a second I remembered that rain soaked little kid. That little kid that asked me if she was odd.

She grinned. "I just listened Skye…"

With that she left me sitting alone behind the baby grand. Behind it I felt like I had drifted from my own orbit and crashed into his. Maybe I didn't really belong here, but something was holding me in place anyway…

Reaching out I tapped a single key and listened as it resounded around the empty living room.

It was just a note…

And this...this was just a moment…

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