Only two chapter left after this...just thought you might want to know. Enjoy!
Lunch flew by and before I knew it my design team was performing their magic. I needed to look perfect for tonight so I knew it wasn't worth complaining. Instead I kept the whining to a minimum and thought about the conversation I'd just had with Gale.
There really was a lot to think about because in that simple conversation I figured out everything. I had accepted the fact that Gale liked Delly and I finally understood why. Gale had accepted that there would be nothing between us other than friendship, which made my decision so much easier.
I knew what I needed to do and that was to tell Peeta how I really felt. I just needed to forget about everything that had happened that night and just move on. Move on with Peeta. I would tell him how I feel tonight after the celebration and then we would take it from there.
"What do you think?" Cinna asked, bringing me back to the present. I looked into the full-length mirror he was gesturing to and saw a girl I'd never seen before. She looked like me, but I'd never seen this side of her before. Staring back at me was the new me, the District 12 me. I was no longer the girl on fire. I had transformed into the version the Capitol would now see.
I was wearing the knee length dress with vines and leaves woven in. The dress I had chosen. The little makeup that I had on complimented the new look and drew out my best features. My hair was twisted up into the style that my mother had taught Cinna how to do, the style that my hair was in when this whole treacherous and unpredictable journey had begun.
I loved my new look and I really looked amazing. "I love it," I finally answered Cinna's question.
"Great," he smiled. "We need you to look great for the Capitol which you do, but it's always better if you're comfortable in what you are wearing."
"You don't have to worry about that. For once I feel like me, not the fake façade I had to put on the last time," I admitted.
"You can be yourself now Katniss, all of the acting is over. The acting like someone you're not and the star crossed lovers act. It's all over. You can finally be you," Cinna assured.
"What if I don't want it to be over?" I asked before I realized what I was saying.
"What do you mean?" Cinna softly asked.
"Can I tell you something that I can't really tell anyone else?" I asked already knowing I could trust Cinna.
"Of course you can," Cinna assured.
"I sometimes wish the act never ended. Well, the star crossed lovers act that is," I admitted.
"Why is that?" Cinna wondered.
"Everyone thought I was acting and Peeta wasn't, right?" I asked.
"Yes, that's what Haymitch and Effie seemed to believe," Cinna answered.
"But you didn't?" I wondered.
"No, I really don't think you were acting," Cinna smiled.
"That's because I wasn't. At the beginning maybe I was, but it came as a total shock to me. Somewhere in the middle it changed, probably when I found Peeta dying in the Games. I wasn't acting anymore after that. I'm in love with him too," I admitted. This was the first time I'd said any of this out loud, but it felt right. It was true.
"I know," Cinna smiled. "There was something different in how you acted around Peeta when the Games were over. I knew you weren't faking it, especially after seeing you after it all ended. You were a wreck," he smiled sympathetically.
"Yeah I was, but I want to make things right again and I will tonight after the celebration," I smiled, playing my scenario over in my head.
"It will all work out Katniss," Cinna assured and I knew he was right.
I was about to reply when there was a knock on the door and to my surprise Peeta walked in looking amazing as ever. "You about ready?" he asked.
"What? Did Effie send you?" I teased.
"Of course," Peeta laughed a laugh that sent shivers down my spine.
"I figured," I smiled. "We'll be right out," I said.
"Okay. See you in a minute," Peeta smiled again and left.
"It's obvious," Cinna smiled.
"Really?" I asked, blushing.
"Yes. Ready to get out there?" Cinna asked.
"Actually I am. The sooner this celebration is over the sooner I can tell Peeta how I really feel," I smiled. Honestly I couldn't wait for once.
"Then let's go," Cinna led the way.
Standing by the elevator was everyone who was attending. I joined them. "Tonight we are all to be on our best behavior. We will socialize, have a good time, and be out of there at one. Got it?" Effie asked.
"Got it," we all murmured. I was already ready for the celebration to be over.
"Great. Let's go," Effie said as the elevator doors opened and we piled in.
A quarter of an hour later we were getting ready to enter the celebration. From outside the doors I could hear all of the commotion of people mingling and music playing. It was really a whole lot better outside under the stars, but I knew that couldn't last.
"Ready?" Gale asked, extending his hand.
"Ready as I'll ever be," I sighed, taking his hand.
We walked into the celebration itself and it reminded me of every other Capitol celebration I'd been to. All of the action was located in one huge room and powder rooms could be accessed from the wall left of the entrance. Also to the left was the food. There were hundreds upon hundreds of different dishes. To the right of the door a huge bar was set up with refreshments and in the middle of the room there were hundreds of tables set up. To the far back of the room was a dance floor and a stage was set up. There were crowds of people everywhere. If I had never been to one of these celebrations before I would have been very overwhelmed.
As we walked in the doors there were blinding flashes of cameras going off. In the Capitol we were almost the most famous celebrities only beaten out by the new president, Plutarch.
"Wow…," was all Gale could say when we entered.
"I warned you," I laughed at his reaction.
"I know you did, but I didn't think it would be this bad," Gale replied.
"I wish I could say it gets better, but it really doesn't," I laughed.
"That's great to know," Gale sarcastically said.
The next few hours were spent getting introduced to countless numbers of people who I'd never remember. They were all Capitol citizens who I'd never see again, but they didn't care. All they wanted was the ability to say they knew Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire and they'd prove that by showing the pictures they insisted on taking with me.
"Miss Everdeen?" a man to my left asked.
"Yes," I said turning in search of the mystery man. It was none other than Plutarch, the president himself.
"I just wanted to say I'm glad you could make it," Plutarch smiled and shook my hand.
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thanks for having all of us," I lied.
"You are very welcome," Plutarch replied, but before he could say anything else he was pulled off to talk to someone else.
"Let's get away from all these people," Gale suggested.
"Okay, head towards the dance floor," I directed.
We weaved through the throngs of people and made it to the tables closest to the dance floor. There were barely any people past the tables. They were all hoping to talk to their celebrities.
"This has definitely been an experience," Gale laughed.
"Oh, yes it has," I smiled. "Thanks for coming with me."
"Thanks for asking me," Gale agreed.
"Of course because then you never would have met Delly and all," I teased.
"Yeah, well that's true," Gale agreed.
Silence fell between us as we took in our surroundings one more time. I scanned the room and my eyes instantly fell on Peeta and Delly across the room. They were holding hands and talking to a guy who had introduced himself as Finnick, a victor from District 4.
Staring at Peeta from across the room I couldn't help but think about everything that had happened and everything I had finally realized.
I stood there and watched Peeta having a great time joking and laughing and just having fun. He appeared as if he had totally forgotten everything that had happened between us.
I keep trying to have a good time, but it is so hard with everything on my mind. How does Peeta make it look so easy? It seemed to come so effortlessly to him.
I felt Gale's hand in mine, but suddenly wished it was Peeta's. Anyone watching from around the room would probably think I was as happy as ever, but I definitely wasn't. It was all just one more big act to make me look like I was doing fine with the end of the star crossed lovers bit, but I wasn't.
It was just easier to handle if I stood back and acted like I was having the time of my life without Peeta. It was what the Capitol wanted, but now what I wanted. I want to stop hiding how I feel and I will tonight.
Suddenly I was staring into deep blue orbs as Peeta's eyes met mine from across the room. For a second I thought I saw a hurt and longing look flash across his features, but then it was gone again and he was smiling at me.
I smiled back as the past flooded my mind. For once that night didn't come rushing back. Instead it was all the good memories. The cave and the Games. The times on the roof and the hours spent together. The nightmares and Peeta's strong arms wrapped around me. The bread and the hope. The fireworks and the earth shattering kisses. Everything flooded my mind making me miss Peeta that much more.
I am tired of hiding how I feel. He needs to know everything and he will as soon as this night is over.
I held Peeta's gaze for another long second and then finally turned away. It hurt too much to think about what used to be, but soon hopefully it would be back to what will be and what is.
I shook my head, clearing it of everything Peeta related. I needed to stop thinking about it and hide my feelings because all it is doing is killing me inside.
"Where were you just now?" Gale asked me, knowing I'd been preoccupied.
"I was just thinking. Nothing to worry about," I brushed it off.
"If you say so," Gale smiled and when I didn't respond he said, "It's almost one. We get to go soon."
Almost as if on command Effie swooped out of nowhere saying, "Time to go!"
We didn't hesitate. We all were ready for this to be over and it finally was. Only one more day and an interview and we'd all be back home in District 12.
The ride back flew by and we all departed the elevator saying good night. Little did anyone know my night was far from over. I still had things to do.
I rushed back to my room and changed and then made my way to the steps that led to the roof. I just knew that's where Peeta would be tonight.
I went up the steps to face everything that had been on my mind. I would finally tell Peeta how I felt.
With butterflies taking flight in my stomach I opened the door and stepped out onto the roof, finally ready to tell Peeta just how much I love him in hopes that he still feels the same way.