Hey guys long time no see… I know I know… It has been forever since I have updated.
But, after the mid-season finale I hope you can understand why I had to post-pone writing for this story. My head wasn't in the right place. I actually had half of this chapter written before the msf but I just now finished it.
I am going to continue this story though, if you guys would like.
Bethyl forever am I right? (:
Here ya go.
Beth started to wake but kept her eyes closed, all her senses coming alive. It was moments like this that Beth cherished; just for a split second the world didn't seem so messed up you sort of forgot about everything. She felt the suns warm glow on her skin, but that wasn't the only warmth she felt. Her eyes slowly fluttered open to find a very tired, still asleep Daryl at her side. They laid in the same exact position they had fallen asleep in. He must have been exhausted if he was still asleep. Well of course he was exhausted, after everything last night, and Beth knew he probably didn't sleep earlier that night like she had. At least she had caught a few hours of sleep, before those men attacked them. Those men… Beth's throat went dry at the thought of the events that had occurred a couple of hours ago. She didn't want to think about that right now though. That man could have raped her…he was going to. Daryl kept her safe though, like always. They were alive, because of Daryl. They were alive and that's all that mattered. She put the thoughts away for now; there was nothing she could do to change what happened. She just had to try and put it past her, it was all she could really do. She took the time instead to focus on sleeping Daryl.
Beth didn't move, this was a rare opportunity to just watch him. When he was sleeping, the hard lines that this gruesome world had cast on him faded away…it left a younger, more innocent and vulnerable man. He stayed with her last night, and he even made comforting gestures on his own, like touching her shoulder. Beth didn't even have to ask, he just did it. Maybe he just did it, because of what had happened, but Beth couldn't help but feel like something had changed in him. She didn't know what, but something had shifted between them last night. Maybe she was just over thinking all of it, Beth was good at that. Over assessing a situation, she knew that, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that she and Daryl's relationship had grown more intimate. Not romantically necessarily, just closer.
Daryl was awake he could feel Beth next to him; he knew she was awake by her breathing. He kept his eyes closed and decided to pretend like he was still asleep, he felt like it would be the best way to keep the situation from being awkward. Daryl had realized that he liked being around Beth, but it was all very foreign to him. He didn't even know where to start. I mean he had read Beth's journal, which he still sort of felt like an ass about…but he knew that she 'liked' him. God, what was he in 3rd grade….Why was he making such a big deal over something so small. She was a teenager…of course she liked him, girls did shit like that all the time their little schoolgirl crushes an what not. Just because Beth said that, didn't mean she meant it. Daryl was at constant war with himself. It didn't matter Daryl didn't have time for 'relationships' anyway at least that's what he had to keep telling himself. Daryl waited awhile longer waiting until Beth got up, but she didn't. Maybe she was asleep? Daryl opened his eyes to find Beth watching him. Her blue-green eyes got even wider if that was even possible. She adverted her gaze, and rolled away from him, lying flat on her back staring at the ceiling. Daryl could see the blush that crept up her neck and into her cheeks. He sat up and swung his legs off the edge of the bed running his hand through his shaggy mop of hair. He was a mess in all honesty, more so than usual. He was used to having blood and guts on him, and being dirty, but he had even extra blood from last night. He cringed at the thought of those men. He stood up looking out one of the windows, before turning back to Beth who was sitting on the bed playing with a strand of her hair.
"Ya sleep okay?" Daryl voice was thick and gravely, it always was in the morning. He wanted to see how Beth was feeling after what had happened. Even though that sick fuck hadn't raped her he still assaulted and violated her in the worse way possible. Daryl knew that could really mess someone up.
Beth looked up to him and nodded. Daryl read her face and didn't find anything to alarming, she seemed to be doing okay for now.
"You?" She asked. They both set aside the fact Beth had been watching him, and that he caught her. It was easier to just ignore it for now.
"Bout as good as I can…" Daryl said while picking some dried blood out from underneath his fingernails. He really needed to clean himself up. I mean he could handle being filthy, but this was bad even for him.
"I could wash those for you…" Beth offered kindly looking at Daryl as he inspected his shirt.
"Thanks but, Beth ya need ta just relax, get yer ankle better."
She nodded slowly then looked into her lap. That was one thing Daryl admired about Beth, she was always worried about taking care of everyone else, and in all honesty probably the most selfless person he's ever met. He figured it had a lot to do with being raised by a man like Hershel. Hershel was a good man. Daryl felt a pang of sadness thinking of him…but he didn't have time for that right now they needed to get going. He wanted out of this town as soon as possible. It wasn't safe.
"I'll go see if I can find somethin to wrap yer ankle up with. Here." Daryl said while tossing her, her pack.
"Ya stay here, and eat something, I'll just check around the house." Daryl said grabbing his crossbow and exiting the room.
Beth didn't really have an appetite. She felt drained, even though she had slept. Beth got up and hobbled to the bathroom just outside of the bedroom. She did her best to keep the weight off of her foot, like Daryl had said. She looked into the mirror; she could feel her eyes burning, the tears threatening to escape. She saw the girl in the mirror but it didn't look like her. Beth examined her busted lip, and some bruising along her jawline where Tommy had back handed her. There were dark circles around her eyes, and her hair was loose and tangled; she had lost her hair tie sometimes throughout the night. She grabbed a washcloth that was lying in the bathroom, and licked the cut on her lip. She tried removing the crusted blood around it. It wasn't the most effective, or sanitary method but she was use to using what she could find. Beth looked into the mirror and let the tears fall. She felt broken, and useless. She let them fall for what had happened to her and Daryl last night, she let them fall for her Daddy, and she let them fall for her sister and Judith. Beth silently let the tears fall for everything. Beth had faith, she did. But sometimes she couldn't understand how she was supposed to keep having faith, when things like last night happen. Whenever it felt like they were doing the right thing; like they were making it somewhere in this impossible world, they just fell back into the dirt…face first. Beth had to suck it up though; she couldn't let this break her. She had made it this far, right? Beth wiped the remaining tears from her face and ran her fingers through her hair trying to smooth some of the knots out. She still looked like wreck, more so now that she had been crying, but nothing to worse for wear. That's what Beth had to keep telling herself or else she didn't know if she could keep it together. Beth opened the door and started to hop out of the bathroom before she clashed into what felt like a brick wall. She waited for the impact of falling on the hard ground but, instead she felt large hands behind her on her back; holding her up.
"Girl I thought I told you too stay put and eat something!?" Daryl barked at her in frustration, as he tried to steady Beth.
Beth slightly jumped at his gruff tone of voice. He instantly felt bad for being so harsh; he had a bad habit of doing that. He felt like an even bigger ass after he saw she had been crying. Her eyes were red and glazed over, and her face was flushed.
"M'sorry." Beth said quietly. He is such a jackass sometimes. Beth thought to herself.
"Nah it was my fault c'mon." Daryl headed back into the bedroom. He didn't know what to do, if he should ask her if she was okay or not. He didn't know? So he did what he does best, he bailed.
They were back in the bedroom now; Daryl had managed to find some gauze to wrap her foot with. Daryl had to figure out what they were gonna do next. They couldn't stay here. He was gonna have to find a car so he could get Beth back to the cabin. This place wasn't safe, obviously. They would have to forget about finding the others, right now their safety mattered more. With Beth injured they couldn't run if they had too, the sooner they get back to the cabin the better. The cabin wasn't entirely secure by any means, but it was secluded, which was a hell of a lot more than this place.
Beth was sitting on the bed as Daryl crouched down in front of her and looked to her for permission. Beth nodded at him and allowed him to pull her pant leg up so he could wrap her foot. He was very gentle which was strange to Beth since he always seemed so rough but just like last night he had been gentle to her. Sometimes trying to figure out Daryl made Beth's head hurt. He was so confusing… There were times when he was caring and kind to her but then a second later he could be fuming and Beth had no idea why? In a way she liked that about him. He was complex. Daryl very cautiously wrapped her ankle. He didn't want to cause Beth any more discomfort than she already had felt. He felt bad that she had been crying, he thought she was okay but maybe not. He felt like he needed to ask her at least…ask her if she would be okay. She needed to know that at least someone cared right? And he did. Daryl did care.
"You doin okay?" Daryl asked warily, as he finished up her ankle.
Beth looked down at him for a moment then let out a small sigh.
"Mhm." It was barely audible, as she pursed her lips together.
It wasn't very convincing, and Beth knew it wasn't. Daryl stood up and sat down next to her on the bed. There was a moment of silence before Daryl spoke.
"What he did to you Beth wasn't okay…None of it was okay…" Daryl spoke strongly, the anger in his voice evident. Beth looked to him, but he kept his eyes to the ground.
"It's not gonna happen again though; I promise you Beth…I won't let it." Daryl finally looked up and met her eyes with his own. The look in his eye was serious. Beth believed him.
"I know." Beth gave him a small smile. She took the time to notice his black eye. His hair was always in his face, so it had made it less obvious.
"Are you okay…" Beth said as she went to move some of his hair out of the way trying to inspect his eye. He flinched, at her hand coming so close to him. It wasn't her fault, it was just instinct. She pulled her hand back quickly, afraid she had crossed the line.
"Sorry just- it's not you…" Daryl looked away ashamed. He felt like such a pussy, he flinched away from a girl.
"No, sorry I shouldn't have- I just… your eye." She gestured with a concerned facial expression and her voice with a tinge of sadness. It broke her heart that he flinched away. She wondered more about how Daryl grew up he had talked briefly about it but Beth knew that he didn't have an ideal childhood, was that why?
"It's nothin." Daryl shrugged.
"It doesn't hurt?"
"Nah." Daryl finished.
Somehow this had turned into about him. Beth had almost been raped and she was worried about his petty black eye. He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. The more he looked at her almost the angrier he got with himself. He was feeling things for Beth he hadn't ever felt. He couldn't place his finger on it. Is this what it's like to truly care for someone, to want them? In all of Daryl years he's never wanted anything. Daryl was a loner, and he had come to terms with it. He had never admired anyone the way he admired Beth. All of it was too confusing for him. He mentally kicked himself and stood up.
"Imma have to go find us a car…" Daryl sounded uncertain.
Beth knew why, he was going to have to leave her here alone.
"Okay…" Beth replied.
Daryl looked at her and was quiet for a moment, looking like he was contemplating his next sentence.
"Ya gotta stay here, but only for a short while, I'll be quick." Daryl hated the idea of leaving Beth alone here with her foot all messed up but if they ran into trouble out there it might be even worse.
"Alright, just be safe…" Beth said as collected as she could. She was scared to be there alone yes, especially because she couldn't run if she had too…but she was even more terrified of Daryl going out there by himself. There were so many things that could happen, and she wouldn't even be able to help him, to even know…
Daryl stood up and grabbed his bow, and gave Beth his knife. He could manage with his bow, he still had Beth's smaller knife too, but he wanted her to have his since it was larger, more lethal.
"You lock this door behind me, you hear?" Daryl said sternly.
Beth nodded. "Yes Daryl."
"I'll try to be back within an hour or two; you don't open this door until I get back. Understand?"
"Daryl okay…" Beth understood, he always did this. She knew it was just because he cared, but she wasn't stupid. She could survive…she thought. But Beth wasn't gonna let Daryl see her self-doubt. So she gave him her best reassuring look. He nodded and headed for the door.
"And Daryl, please be careful…"
"Always." He said then left.
Beth waited for Daryl, each minute seeming like an eternity. It did give her some time to think though, and write. She wrote about how Daryl had seemed different; more comfortable around her yet very nervous at the same time. Also about what had happened with those men. Daryl was still fearless all throughout it; he killed those men without hesitation. Beth had always felt that killing was wrong, but in this world you had no choice. Beth didn't feel any sorrow for those men; they had decided their own fate. Was that wrong of her to think, was it bad she didn't feel any remorse…She might have in her life before, but not now. She couldn't. One thing Beth had discovered is you didn't mess with Daryl Dixon or his family. Family? Was that the word she was looking for…? Beth knew she had stronger feelings towards Daryl. It definitely wasn't fatherly, or brotherly, she had thought about Daryl in ways you don't think about your Dad, or Brother. Not that it was always necessarily in a sexual way; Beth blushed even at the thought. She had thought about those parts of him, he was attractive she had to admit, but her feelings were deeper than that. That didn't mean they weren't already family, they had all survived together, and been through tremendous amount of loss, joy, and experience together. Daryl was her family, always would be, and Beth liked to think Daryl would think the same. They were in this together.
Finally Beth heard tapping on the door; she got up fairly quickly still minding her foot to open the door. She opened it to find a very annoyed Daryl.
"Ya didn't even ask ta see who it was?"
"Daryl I doubt if it was anybody else, they wouldn't have given me the curtesy of knocking politely on the door…" Beth rolled her eyes at him. She was returned with a grunt from Daryl.
"Let's get yer stuff, I got us a car." He said passing Beth and grabbing her stuff and putting it in her bag.
Beth noticed that her journal was still opened on the bed and Daryl was getting closer into reading distance. She panicked, his name was plastered everywhere on that page, there was no way he wouldn't see it.
"Wait!" Beth all practically dove towards the bed grabbing her journal and closing it tightly and grabbing her bag from Daryl and shoving it in.
"Damn girl, calm down." Daryl said gruffly. Beth glared back at him.
Daryl bit his cheek.
"Why didn't ya want me to see?" He asked. Daryl knew he was still being an ass about his whole journal situation, he knew why she didn't want him to see, but he wanted to see what she would say.
Beth froze caught off guard he was asking, she felt her cheeks burn. She knew she was doing more than a little blush; she had to be bright red.
"Be-Because it's personal…" Beth stuttered the words out and furrowed her brows at him.
Daryl gave her a smug smile, before continuing to gather up the rest of their stuff in the room.
What was that for? Beth asked herself. Why did he look at me like that? Oh my gosh, he saw. He totally saw… Beth internally palmed herself in the head repeatedly. Her cheeks were still hot; she had never felt more embarrassed. So what if he saw? There was no way he could make out all of the words; there was no way he knew what she had written. It's fine Beth…right? Yeah it's fine. Then Beth began to question herself, maybe it was good if he knew. If he knew the way she felt about him, that he made her feel butterflies. That the thought of losing him, made her chest tight, like her heart was going to stop. Maybe he should know. In a world where you could die at any minute, maybe knowing was a good thing. Daryl wasn't a guy you say 'I want to be your girlfriend' to… or anything along the lines of having a relationship, Beth knew that. She was getting ahead of herself anyway. Daryl would never want me anyway. Beth inhaled deeply, trying to collect her thoughts.
"Ya ready?" Daryl asked.
She nodded and headed for the door; Beth got to the top of the stairs and contemplated her next move. That's all she needed was to take a tumble down the stairs… Daryl came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Beth stilled at the contact, watching Daryl cautiously. She liked it when he touched her, and she'd never felt that way before. Sure she had had feelings like that sometimes, but never from a guy touching her. She use to make out with Jimmy, and Zach but that was all. Zach use to try and get a little handsy, but it never made her feel anything. When Daryl touched her it felt like small bolts of electricity. It made her nervous, but at the same time she liked it. More than she would probably ever admit.
"Come on I'll help ya." Daryl said as Beth agreed and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.
Daryl helped Beth get down the stairs, and to the door. He checked outside to make sure there weren't any walkers to close by and led her out to the road where a black Tahoe was parked. It was an older model, and looked like it had seen better days, but they couldn't complain, it was a running vehicle.
Beth and Daryl were on their way back to the cabin, they had to do a bit more navigating this time, since they had to take roads instead of just cutting straight through the forest but it wouldn't take as long either. Beth had no idea how to read a map, but Daryl had marked where the cabin was from where the town was at so, she did her best to figure it out, relaying directions to Daryl in the driver seat. They were on a straight stretch for a while, the car was quiet.
"I don't think they were ever there…" Beth said quietly.
"Hm?" Daryl questioned. He didn't know what she had meant.
"The others…they were never anywhere in that town." Beth said blandly. She couldn't help but feel discouraged.
"You don't know for sure we only checked one neighborhood."
How was Daryl the one giving hope to Beth now? Wasn't it the other way around, wasn't Beth supposed to be the one filled with hopeful commentary. She had been at least.
"They weren't there Daryl I know you wanted to find them too, but they weren't there…" Beth said sadly.
"It's fine, once your ankle gets better, we can go look again." Daryl assured her. Beth had helped him come back from edge back at the moonshine shack. Obviously what had happened last night, had messed her up a little. But how could it not? Daryl owed it to her, to try and help her get through it.
Beth didn't say anything in response.
"Ya don't know that. Ya can't give up…not yet. Aint that what you told me?" Daryl would use her own words against her if that's what he had to do; he wasn't going to let her bury herself into a hole because of a few scumbags.
Her eyes brightened a bit at what he had said, and he saw a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"Yeah I did." Beth said slightly more cheerful.
"Now quick slackin, and read me them directions." Daryl implied with a gruff tone, but gave her a crooked smile at the end. She smiled back and looked to the map.
"Yes Mr. Dixon." She replied.
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They had arrived back at the cabin, to find it untouched thankfully. Daryl had helped Beth get inside first then brought some of the stuff they'd managed to find back in town. He had set up Beth in the bed downstairs. She had fallen asleep after a few hours of being back; Daryl locked things up and used the opportunity to shower and get all the blood off of him. He didn't want those sick bastards blood on him anymore. Daryl had just stepped out of the shower and was wrapping a towel around his waist when he heard Beth let out loud scream. Damn it. He thought, she must be having another nightmare. He grabbed his pants and threw them on as well as a t-shirt; he was still soaking wet; the friction from his wet skin and the material of the jeans making him almost fall over trying to tug them on. He opened the door and swiftly made his way over to Beth crouching down next to the bed. He didn't want to completely invade her space, that may be what she needed right now was…some space. But he didn't want to just ignore her, if that's not what she needed.
"Hey…Beth m'right here." Daryl said as softly as he could. When he had learned how to speak softly to someone he didn't know. Most likely since the moonshine shack, Beth had opened something up in him…
Beth slowly looked up at him. The look in her eyes literally made his heart feel like it was breaking; just crumbling into a million pieces. She looked…so empty. Hopeless, and broken….
"How did this happen to us? Why us Daryl? I don't understand why terrible things keep happening? As if losing the prison and our family wasn't enough, there are still people like those men who want to hurt us. I'm trying…I am but- last night- he- every time I close my eyes… his hands…. It's all I can feel-see…" Beth sobbed out the words before putting her head back between her knees and continued to softly sob.
Daryl didn't really know what he could say… so he thought for a moment trying to think of something profound enough. He would rather take time to say something and mean it, rather than make us some quick bullshit to just make her feel better. It hurt him, to see her this way. To see that the hope that usually beamed from every pore of her body was missing. He wasn't going to let her self-destruct though; he would help her get that hope back, because she helped him. How she managed to help him was still unknown, how the hell she was brave enough to stand up him. How the hell she managed to get through his thick stubborn skull. She was just as stubborn though and filled with fire… that she proved. So he knew that she would be okay.
"Those men Beth… they were too far gone. This world ruined 'em. It ruined 'em, but that doesn't mean it has to ruin you too." Daryl spoke with confidence.
Beth looked at him, her knees still tucked tight to her chest. Her facial expression relaxed a bit at his words.
"What he was going to do to ya, what he did to ya… Was sick, and he got what he deserved. You lived though, you made it. Remember what ya said to me? Ya said ya made it, and look yer still here. Don't let them be the ones to break ya, not after everything. Yer tough, I've seen it."
Beth gave him a sad smile through the tears that continued to pour out of her eyes and down her face leaving her cheeks red, and tear stained. She wiped furiously at her eyes and face to try and rid the tears, and nodded.
"Thank you." She spoke quietly.
"Fer what, wasn't like nothing I said you didn't already know. You know yer tough Greene…"
She let out a small laugh while still wiping her face with her sleeves.
"Yeah but I needed that. Just need to remind me when my heads not right."
"Can't rely on anybody for anything though right?" Daryl quoted her from the moonshine trailer.
She looked up to him longingly.
"But we can."
"We can what?" Daryl asked confused.
"We can rely on each other…You can rely on me Daryl." Beth gave him a small smile.
Daryl just glanced at her and then to his fiddling hands.
"Daryl we might not find the others…and if that happens all we have is each other."
Daryl's eyes quickly snapped back up to hers at that. Beth grabbed his hand lacing her fingers within his.
"You can rely on me…for anything. I got your back." Beth gave him a genuine smile that made him feel lightheaded. Daryl just nodded awkwardly before shifting his gaze from her. He didn't know what to say to that, no one had ever said anything like that to him. No one had ever made an effort to make him feel like he wasn't alone.
He wasn't alone. Not anymore.