Reviews! Well, first a quick author's note, regarding reviews. If you have a request, or an idea, or a suggestion, by all means. . .say so! They help me, make me look at things differently. There's only one instance where I don't welcome a request, and I'll explain that later. For now, on with the reviews.
Diamond77: Thankee, me dear! By request, here is Natalya! I intended to bring her into the story a little later, but after you made your request, she told me what she wanted to do. She's my favorite Bond girl. . .though I also like Jinx and Wai Lin. Hold on, because the butt-kicking starts in the next chapter.
Iolana (chapter six): Yup, now you know about Cass and Bree. No, can't really blame James for not believing. Poor James. Poor Alec. I thought you might like the explanation for Alec wearing black. . .it seemed appropriate. And I agree. . .I thought Alec blaming MI6 was very human. Even though he knew it wasn't really their fault, he still blamed them. It's very fortunate that the Trevelyan home is so big. The place is getting real full. As for William and what Alec remembers. . .well, just wait and see. (I know, I'm evil) I'm actually working on that possibility, with regards to the memories that Janus could access memories that Alec couldn't. Make poor Alec even more of a prisoner in his own body than he already was. I'm not sure what I'll come up with, but I'm working on that. Heh. . .I'M looking forward to seeing where this is going!
Iolana (chapter five): (rueful laugh) If you can call that a romance! Those two have the most screwed-up courtship of anyone I've ever seen. Not even Luke and Juliet in my Dust fic, Calling the Wind, have such a weird courtship. And those two are anything but orthodox. Between those two couples, they make Ian and Jocelyn (National Treasure) look downright normal in comparison. Yeah, the family does get tossed from one crisis to another, but they've had a relatively peaceful life for the last nine years. . .Alec just figures everything is hitting at once. And M. . .M is writing herself!
Bea: Welcome! I'm so glad you're enjoying this! And I'm glad you liked the Phantom of the Opera reference. I'm a sucker for characters like Alec and Erik. Alec, Erik, Ian. . . Alec. . .Imhotep. . .Alec. Oh. Sorry. By the same token, I also love Boromir, Odysseus, and Ardeth Bey. But the POTO reference seemed perfect for Alec and Rowanne, especially with Alec's scars after Arkangelsk, and the way things started between him and Rowanne.
Caught in the Game Again
Chapter Six
Unpleasant Truths
The boy was sleeping. Well, he was entitled to it. Over the last few weeks, after Sebastian realized that Alec was. . .not himself, the young agent put in countless hours. William found as he grew older that he slept less and less. Wasn't that strange? Perhaps not so strange. He was seventy-two years old, and he wouldn't live forever. There was still too much he wanted to do before he joined his brother.
First and foremost. . .he wanted to see Alec again. He wanted to see the son that was denied to him. He wanted to beg his forgiveness for not protecting him better, for not telling him the truth, for. . . William sighed. While he now knew that Alec made his decision before Arkangelsk, if he would remain loyal to England, he still felt guilty about not telling the boy everything before he found that damn file.
And that file. . .William wanted to wrap his hands, aged as they were, around the scrawny neck of whoever sent that file to Alec. What did they gain from it, aside from breaking a young man's heart and tearing out his very soul? Did they gain some sort of sick pleasure? Whoever deposited that file inside Alec's door eighteen years earlier, did they watch and wait from across the street, taking pleasure in his grief and rage?
In a way, William hoped so. Then he would have even less compulsion about breaking that someone's neck. This person hurt someone William loved, and there would be no forgiveness for that. He would be sorely disappointed if this someone was dead. He was too old to take down Orlov or Custos (there was a connection there, William could feel it). But there were others who ill-treated his Alec.
William would have been lying if he said he wasn't angry on a professional level as well. He was. Someone at MI-6 betrayed them all. Someone went into Files and saw to it that Vesseney Denisov's only living child received that information. Someone in MI-6 cost the agency one of its finest. But the greatest portion of his anger was the anger of a father who was robbed of a son. A father who was unable to protect his child.
Vesseney Denisov. Alec's birth father. William realized that there was much about the man he didn't know. But, he couldn't help asking. . .why did he place a dead child over a living one? In those weeks before her death, did Anna Denisov realize that her husband's grip on his sanity was slowly slipping? When she carried the sleepy three-year-old Alec into his bedroom for his nap, did she realize she was saving his life?
Why did you do it, man? Would you have killed Alec as well? William knew that when Vesseney murdered his wife, then committed suicide, he gave William his son. Unfortunately, long years passed for Alec between the murder-suicide of his parents and the beginning of University. During the war, many children were sent to Ireland, to Scotland, to Cornwall, to protect them from the bombings in London.
The orphanage where Alec grew up was run by good people. But even in 1962, it was still recovering from the war years. They simply did not have enough people to love the children, as well as take care of their physical needs. Alec learned to hide his loneliness behind a protective mask, and a shield that surrounded his heart. But when he arrived at MI-6, and met James Bond. . .the first dents in the armor appeared.
William followed a few months later, and it seemed to the older agent while reflecting years later that Alec latched onto a father figure with a ferocity that bordered on desperation. Did he know in his heart that this man would care for him, far beyond what he needed to know as an agent to stay alive? It was anyone's guess what Alec knew. He was unpredictable, even before Orlov and Ourumov got their claws into him.
He was eager to please William, at the very least. He wanted to be good, he wanted to save the world, and he wanted to protect people. He absorbed every bit of information, every lesson, from William and from James Bond. And in spite of the need to remain objective, necessary because of their line of work, it took very little effort on Alec's part to make both William and James love him. As well as others. . .Kathryn, Emma Moneypenny's young niece, for instance.
As the years passed, Alec's vulnerability grew less obvious. It was necessary, if he wanted to protect others. He understood, as they all did, that they did the dirty work. They protected the general public not just from the monsters who sought to do them harm, but from knowledge of those monsters. There was an American television show that also aired in the UK in the 1990's. Babylon Five. William was fond of that show, because the Minbari reminded him somewhat of MI-6. 'We are the Grey. . .we stand between the candle and the darkness.' Or something like that. Besides, he always thought Marcus Cole would have made one helluva MI-6 agent!
Sebastian shifting and moaning a little brought William's attention back to the present. In another three hours, the plane would land in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Two hours after that, he and Sebastian would be at the Bramwell-Trevelyan compound, the new Janus headquarters. In five hours, he would be reunited with his former student. But for now. . .for now, he would look after Sebastian. The pretty young flight attendant whispered, "Can I help with anything, senor?"
"Everything is fine, my dear. . .the boy has been working nonstop on a project. Thank you for asking, though," William replied. She smiled and continued on her way. William drew the blanket up once more around Sebastian's shoulders, gently patting his forearm. He said softly, "Sleep well, my boy. Sleep enough for both of us." He wanted to believe that Alec would forgive him. Only time would tell. Only time would tell.
She wasn't in the habit of leaving her friends in the lurch. . .on the other hand, they weren't scheduled at MI-6 until the end of the week. It was Monday now, and that gave her plenty of time. She had to know for sure. After overhearing the conversation at the MI-6 headquarters in London only days earlier, she had to know for sure. Even now, nine years later, Janus still haunted her nightmares.
She had to know. Was he really alive? She shuddered. No. No, that fall must have killed him. No one could have survived that, not even Janus. But for the sakes of those who died at Severnaya, for the sakes of those who might have been killed if his plan worked, she had to know for sure. The young woman stared out the window, biting her lower lip. She was not the same person she was then. She changed. She knew that.
How could you live through something like that, and not change? She was twenty-five years old when Janus and Xenia Onatopp upended her world. She was proud of the work she did at Severnaya, but after Goldeneye, it wasn't enough any more. Not after the friends she lost, not after what she saw and experienced as a prisoner and as a pawn. It wasn't enough. She had to do something more. . .she had to make a difference in a more meaningful way. She was a damn good computer programmer, she knew that.
She outwitted Boris, didn't she? He thought she was so stupid, but she outwitted him. It was James who realized she wanted something more, and directed her to M. And for the last nine years, with her best friend, Tania Denver, she kept the MI-6 computers running properly with the programs they created, then set up. And with the specter of Goldeneye forever in her mind, she tried to find a way to counteract the electromagnetic pulse. Possible? Probably not, but she wanted to try.
James. It always came back to James. James, whom she loved and hated at the same time, and found absolutely nothing strange about it. Perhaps she should have expected it. No matter how much James cared for an individual woman, his true devotion was, and ever would be, to Queen and country. She knew that, and still it hurt. He cared for her. . .she knew that. But he could never be true to any one woman, because Britain was his mistress, his wife, and she was a jealous lover indeed.
And she could never think of James, not without thinking of Janus as well. Janus was not just a criminal syndicate, not just the leader of that syndicate, but it was Janus and James combined, because in some ways, they were two sides of the same coin. They were friends once, until Janus betrayed James. . .and James killed him for it. Not just for what he would have done to England, not just for what he did to Severnaya. But for James. Because of what that betrayal did to him.
It rattled her, years later, to think about the ramifications. A betrayal that wounded James so deeply. . . She went to Kathryn Moneypenny. . .Kit. . .her friendly rival for James Bond's affections, and the source of most of what she learned about MI-6 after making the deal with M. And Kit confirmed what she believed. They were very close, James and Janus. Like brothers. Perhaps even closer, because it wasn't often that brothers risked their lives for each other.
Brothers-in-arms, then, and that, in some ways, was far more potent than brothers by blood. James had loved Janus. . .or as he knew him then, Alec Trevelyan. . .as a brother, with the same ferocity that he loved his favorite mistress, his favorite lover, his favorite wife. And from such betrayed love came the most intense hatred. James could not forgive himself, not for seeing the truth sooner.
And now, she was hearing that Janus was alive. She couldn't begin to imagine how James felt. After all this time, she knew James well enough to realize that in his mind and in his heart, he hadn't killed Alec Trevelyan nine years earlier in Cuba. He killed Janus, someone quite different. It was anyone's guess if the Alec Trevelyan whom James knew even existed, but so far as James was concerned, Alec Trevelyan died eighteen years ago in Russia.
Which told her, in her heart of hearts, that there was still a part of James that mourned his little brother, who still loved Alec Trevelyan, the charming young MI-6 agent Kit spoke of. It was that part of James which she feared and loved most. She feared it, because James would be hurt once more, if the rumors were true and Janus was alive. How many times did that monster have to die, before he left James in peace?
At the same time, it was that part of James which reassured her. . .he could still love. And that was why she kept returning to him, even after he broke her heart countless times. He could love. . .she just didn't know if he was brave enough to do so. Men were such strange creatures. They could blow up things without a second thought, but when it came to the far more messy reality of love, they were like scared children.
Several seats behind her were two MI-6 agents. One, William Pryce-Meecham, was technically retired. He was one of the grand old gentlemen of the agency. . .one of the first agents given double-oh status. A handsome, stately old gentleman in his early seventies, he was forced to accept early retirement in the 1960's, following an injury and to make room for the younger agents coming in.
But he was still invaluable to MI6, as an instructor. It was he who trained both James and Janus when they were neophytes to the spy world. He, and the inventor Q. But she distrusted him, because he was the one spreading the lies that Janus wasn't truly responsible for what he did to her friends and co-workers. If he spouted some nonsense about Janus being misunderstood, she might forget his age and strike him.
His young companion, Sebastian Miller, was in far more danger. He was close to Natalya's age, and she had no need to worry about accidentally injuring him. He was the reason the older agent believed that it was right, to try to absolve Alec Trevelyan of his crimes. Try to clear his name. . .try to convince James that he was wrong? How could they do that? They weren't there at the time, they didn't see what she saw!
James would need help. And she was still angry with him. . .she couldn't begin to say how angry she was with him. But he would need help, because he would be ambushed. She told Tania to start without her, if it came to that, but she thought she would be back in plenty of time. There was something she needed to do. Since she covered for Tania's absences, her friend encouraged her to do what needed to be done.
And now, here they were. On a flight across the Atlantic Ocean, bound for Puerto Rico. She wasn't entirely sure what she would do, once they landed. While she was far more capable of taking care of herself than she was nine years earlier (and she certainly had her moments at that time), there was still a great deal she didn't know. For one, she wasn't sure how she would follow the two spies, without them realizing it.
She shifted her mind to that problem. Switch focus, to keep your focus. And the problem of following an experienced, albeit retired, spy without giving away her own position. . .oh, yes, that would be quite the challenge indeed. While James taught her a great deal about self-defense that she didn't know, she never learned the trick of stealth. She was a computer programmer, not a spy, but if she wanted to protect James from his own people, she would have to learn how to be a spy very quickly.
The worst part of her situation, too, was that in other conditions, she would have liked Sebastian Miller a great deal. But knowing what she did, and living through what she did. . .how could she forgive what he was trying to do? She was lucky to escape with her life. A little ingenuity and a lot of luck saved her life in Severnaya, when Xenia Onatopp came to investigate the noise.
"Hello, my dear. . .come to watch James' back?" a voice asked. She froze, then looked up to find William Pryce-Meecham standing in the center of the aisle. He smiled at her almost paternally, adding, "Don't be too harsh withyourself, child. I was a double-oh agent long before you were born. Since you wish to make sure we are not being led into a trap, would you like to accompany us to the Bramwell-Trevelyan compound?"
Natalya Fyodorovna Simonova looked up at the man with a sigh. Well, that would take care of one problem. She had no choice to trust him. . .just as she had no choice but to trust James all those years ago. She nodded slowly, and William sat down beside her, saying quietly, "That's an excellent choice, my dear. Here are the ground rules, for I think you need to understand a few important details. . ."
One thing he never lost, even away from MI-6 and his former profession, was his internal clock. Alec knew when it was time to get up. He had no need of an alarm clock. This was true for one other reason. . .unfailingly, when it was time to get up in the morning, his wife would wake him. This held true today as well. Alec finally drifted off to sleep around two am, after talking with Charles Robinson a little longer.
Charles warned him that James would not be easy to convince. He was telling Alec nothing that he didn't already know. Worse yet, Alec knew he couldn't blame James. . .if even a third of what his memories were true, regarding Goldeneye. Even though James kept escaping from the traps set for him, because Alec wanted him to escape, because Alec wanted him to stop Janus. . .it didn't matter. Even at the end of their conversation, Charles still couldn't understand why Alec couldn't accept that he was a victim as well. It just wasn't that easy.
His old friend maintained that Alec was a pawn, just like James. However, he didn't seem to understand that Alec's hands were blood-stained. How many people died because of him? He was no victim. Yes, his memories were scrambled, and yes, he wasn't totally in control of himself. But that was no excuse. Alec was still struggling with his rage when he went to Arkangelsk. He let Ourumov and his pet scientist do this to him. This happened because he let his control slip. Not again. Never again.
He wasn't a victim. He left himself open to manipulation. . .it was his own weakness that allowed this to happen. He wasn't a victim, he wouldn't let himself be a victim. He would take responsibility for his weakness, and he would make sure it never happened again. This meant he had to make sure Rowanne and the girls were protected, no matter what MI-6 wanted of him. Alec was in the spy business too long not to realize a few unpleasant truths.
First, as he told Charles, if MI-6 had found him, it was just a matter of time before those who created Janus did the same. When that happened, Ourumov's pet scientist might harm Rowanne and Alec's daughters. He could not permit that to happen. Rowanne was the one good thing that came out of his years as Janus. And odd as he thought it, he could sense the part of him that remained Janus didn't want anything to happen to Rowanne, either.
He fell asleep, still holding his wife. For the first time in three weeks, his dreams were not of fire and death and a seemingly-endless fall through the air. He dreamed, instead, of things that never happened, in a world that might have been. He dreamed of growing up with James Bond, as his real little brother. He dreamed of meeting Rowanne under better circumstances. He dreamed of holding Sassy moments after she was born. He dreamed, too, of Sabrina, the daughter he knew not well enough and too well indeed.
It wasn't the mid-morning sun that awoke him, but his wife's lips caressing his torso. There was almost a pattern to the way she operated when she woke him up. Her lips against his skin, breathing his name and 'wake up' as she moved down his body. He always had to mumble an 'I'm awake' after she passed his navel. The further she moved down, the more difficult it was for him to pretend he was asleep.
This morning was no different. Alec moaned, "I'm awake, Rowanne, I'm awake," as her mouth came dangerously close to his nether regions. He heard. . .felt. . .her laugh, and she made her way back up, lips brushing each rib, before she kissed the hollow of his throat. Now he did open his eyes, and found her smiling down at him. He reached up, caressing her face, and murmured, "Serves me right for marrying a woman thirteen years my junior."
"Hmm," was her only response as she leaned forward to kiss him. Her very cute bum was resting across his hips, and Alec knew his wife too well to think that was an accident. Sneaky child. He put his hands on her waist. As ever, her hands were strategically placed on either side of his head. Because of Alec's phobia regarding restraints, she never held his wrists while she drove him to ecstasy. He couldn't stand being pinned. Images would flash through him, memories buried too deeply for him to access them, perhaps.
All he knew was the wave of sheer, blind terror that would crash over him if his arms were restrained. He nearly hurt Rowanne once, when she tied his wrists to the bed posts with silk scarves, just as he did to her years earlier. She was being playful, and had no idea he was so terrified of being restrained. He didn't know either. Alec panicked, and when reason returned to him, his arms were free, and Rowanne was backed up against the wall, looking terrified out of her mind.
She whispered his name, and he mutely held out his hand. Rowanne bolted across the room, throwing her arms around him. He didn't know who was comforting whom, just that they wrapped themselves in each other and held on for dear life. His mind was drawn away from the past as Rowanne kissed him again, and deepened the kiss until they were breathless. She rocked back, her bum brushing a few key parts, and sent Alec's heart racing. Damn her. . .she could always get a rise out of him. In more ways than one.
"I hate it when you do that," he gasped. She just smiled, a feral little grin that did the most incredible things to his insides. Rowanne once told him that his smile should be registered as a lethal weapon. Perhaps he should tell her that her own smile was just as devastating to him? Or not. No sense in giving her more ammunition against him. He had to have some secrets of his own, and flinched. He had entirely too many secrets of his own. That was what almost got him killed. . .that, among other things.
Rowanne must have noticed, because she swooped in to claim another kiss. Alec surrendered willingly, until common sense reasserted itself, and he broke the kiss, gasping, "Rowanne! You haven't caught up on your sleep, and you fainted last night!" That was it. That was what was bothering him, even as his wife's kisses made him daft. He needed their doctor to take a look at Rowanne, and make sure she wasn't sick.
"I'm fine, you dolt! I slept another eight hours, which means," Rowanne answered, and paused to kiss the side of his neck. Alec closed his eyes, trying not to react to her proximity and the warmth of her body. Rowanne, however, was having none of that, and added as she switched sides, "which means, I am now up to seventeen hours of sleep. . .only seven hours remaining, and I can always catch a nap later."
Calling upon restraint he had thought lost, along with his edge, Alec caught her arms before she could kiss him again and said quietly, "I'm worried about you, Rowanne. I just want you to rest, and then see the doctor. I want to know, for sure, that you didn't get sick while you were taking care of Sassy." Her eyes softened and she gently freed herself to cup his face in her hands. Alec could easily deal with anger. . .but tenderness always shattered his defenses.
And her tenderness was always Rowanne's greatest weapon. All she ever asked of him, truly, was love. She didn't desire power. She just wanted to be with him. She was a complex woman. . .but she was also a very simple woman, with very simple needs. Rowanne needed to be loved, but she also needed to be needed. She spent the first twenty years of her life, feeling superfluous. That wasn't something he ever experienced. Never in his life did he feel superfluous.
'Superfluous' wasn't a word that he would have considered, in regards to his wife, but. . . Something Charles told him stuck in his mind. You say that you sought to destroy her innocence, and maybe that's true, his old friend said, but you know what I see when I look at her? I don't see a victim. I see a woman who has found her purpose in life, and that has completed her. Whatever you did to her, Alec, that's something that you did for her.
Rowanne said softly, "Alec, I promise you. . .I'm fine. I'm not sick. I was just exhausted, and worried. When the adrenaline high crashed, so did I." That was an explanation Alec could believe. But. . . Rowanne put her hand on his chest, forcing him to look at her. Really look at her. She said quietly, "Alec, this is me. Rowanne. I'm not the one who pretends to be fine. I don't do that. And sitting up with my sick daughter for three nights running does not qualify. I don't like being sick, you of all people should know that. And if I neglect my health, I will get sick."
Alec caressed her cheek, murmuring, "How many times did you take care of me, after I woke up? How many times did you protect me while I was comatose? Is it so hard to believe that I want to take care of you, Rowanne? You mean everything to me, and I've done a miserable job of protecting my family to date." She rolled her eyes again and swooped in for yet another kiss. . .but this time, she kissed his right temple.
Alec closed his eyes, and she kissed each eyelid, saying softly, "You need to stop worrying so much. We aren't invincible, I know." I am invincible! Why did those words sound so familiar to Alec? Dark laughter rang out mockingly in his memories, and Alec shuddered.Janus was driven away by another of Rowanne's kisses as she continued, "But you are not the only one protecting this family."
He opened his eyes to look at her. While she told him often that she loved him, Alec could never bring himself to say the words. He could answer in the affirmative when someone asked him if he loved Rowanne. . .such as M, the night before. But he couldn't tell her. Perhaps it was his past, when such words were so utterly meaningless. Instead, he told her, "I'd die for you. . .you know that, don't you? All three of you."
"I know. But it's just as important that you live for us, Alec. It's taken us this long to get this far. I don't want to lose you now," Rowanne replied. She squirmed, making herself more comfortable (and Alec more uncomfortable), then began stroking his collarbone lightly with her thumbs. She changed the subject, saying, "Xenia saved you, for reasons I think are obvious. But I still don't get why she saved me. She could left me there to die. That's what I would have expected, at least."
Yes, she could have. Alec spent most of that time unconscious, but Xenia's actions surprised him as well, when he heard Rowanne's story the night before. After his conversation with Charles and before he finally dropped off, he thought about what might have led Xenia to save them both. He thought he had an answer, but first, he had to keep himself focused. Hiswife had a tendency to play dirty when they were in bed. And her dirtiest tricks were the ones she learned from him.
"She was dying, I think, and didn't have the strength to bear me back up into the gunship. Xenia was a strong woman. But I think when she was caught in the parachute and pulled into the tree. . .don't look so surprised, Rowanne, I do read the reports. . .the impact broke several of her ribs," Alec replied once he could focus. In retaliation, his hands went to her waist, fingers lightly caressing her lower back.
Rowanne raised an eyebrow at this comment, and Alec had to laugh. It was, as Wade called it, her 'point being?' look. Alec explained, "The broken ribs alone wouldn't kill her. But splinters from those broken ribs would have punctured a lung. She didn't have the strength to get me to safety. . . but you did. Xenia was a little strange. . .pain and violence excited her, even when it was done to her. It was a sexual thrill to her. I. . .you know my memories from Goldeneye are faulty. But one thing I do remember clearly."
The brunette didn't speak and Alec continued, "Bond confiscated a tank to rescue Natalya Simonova while we were in St Petersburg, and we rammed him with the train. The impact knocked me unconscious briefly, and it stunned Xenia. . .she may have been unconscious as well, I'm really not sure. But I do remember seeing a glazed expression as she got up. Not unlike your expression when I. . ."
Alec's voice trailed off as Rowanne looked at him, and he felt his face grow warm. Mercifully, however, Rowanne didn't comment on it. Instead, she said, "So, you think it was practicality on her part." Alec thought about it, then nodded. He flinched only slightly as his head protested the movement. Rowanne added after a moment, "I suppose it doesn't make much difference. It just confused me. She always had so little use for me, but at the end, she sacrificed herself to save both of us."
"She was dying, Rowanne, and she knew it. And she never tried to get rid of you, because she never believed you were a threat to her, to me, or to Janus in general. She enjoyed killing, yes. But. . .she wasn't stupid. She knew she didn't have the strength to hold me all the way back up into the gunship. I imagine she barely had the strength to hold you on the way down, and you're considerably lighter than I am," Alec replied. Besides, Xenia knew what Janus refused to acknowledge. . .that Alec cared for Rowanne.
"Humf. Not any more, I'm not," Rowanne pouted. Now that was a lie. Alec's hands glidedover her curves. Yes, she put on weight, but she had one child, and hopefully, they would have more. She was still considerably lighter, and she would likely remain so. His hands rested on her midriff, and his wife asked, her expression growing serious, "You really want another child? You realize, of course, given the boys-to-girls ration in my family and the way things have been going so far, that we'd probably have another daughter?"
"I want another child," Alec confirmed, "I was a prisoner when Cassandra was carrying Sabrina, and I was comatose while you were pregnant with Sassy. I can't get those years back, Rowanne. I want to see you big with my child, I want to feel that child move under my hands. And I really don't give a damn about having a son to carry on the family name." He stopped and flushed. He might have lost his edge as a double-oh agent, but he still wasn't used to speaking so frankly from his heart.
"And are you ready for the unpleasantness that goes along with pregnancy and bringing up baby? Are you ready for mood swings, for strange cravings, and me to turn into a blithering idiot? Ask Dylan what I was like while I was pregnant with Sassy. He was here. I even got a few of the Janus operatives to change diapers and feed the baby," Rowanne informed him. Alec couldn't help laughing, laughter that turned to a groan as she shifted her weight yet again.
Still, he managed to say, "Big, bad Janus operatives. . .completely unmanned by a little baby, I would imagine?" Rowanne nodded with a huge grin. Yes, he should have realized that. Janus operatives were trained to handle nearly any situation involving guns or explosives. But a baby? He wished they had pictures. He would have enjoyed seeing that. Alec continued after a moment, "I'm ready for it all, Rowanne."
"Hmm. We'll see about that. Because I can promise you this, Alec Trevelyan. We have another child, and you will be there for the delivery. I am not going through that alone again," Rowanne stated. Alec's hands slid around to her waist and he gently shifted her backward until he could sit up. Once he was upright, his hands left her waist to cup her face in his hands. He stared steadily into her eyes, and once he was sure he had her full attention, he spoke.
"You will never go through that alone again. I promise you this, Rowanne Trevelyan. I will be there for the delivery, I will hold your hand, and I will let you scream at me to your heart's content, and never will I talk back. All right?" Alec asked. Rowanne stared at him for a long moment, then she nodded slowly. Alec sighed and allowed his head to rest against her shoulder for a moment. Her hand slipped around the back of his neck, gently rubbing her thumb against the top vertebrae there.
"All right. Alec, I really am fine. . .and right now, I want my husband. If you're still worried later, I'll see the doctor, but I want you to see her as well. Deal?" Rowanne asked softly. Alec's body was answering yes before his mind had a chance to catch up, but that was still enough to put the brakes on. She must have realized that while his flesh was willing, his spirit still needed some convincing.
Rowanne turned her head, ever so slowly, brushing her lips against his flesh and his hair. Alec trembled. Oh, he should have known she would do this to him! But even as his mind screamed at him to stop, his head was already turning to capture her lips. Her hands slid down his shoulders and arms to clutch at his hands, and she began pushing him down to the bed, fingers intertwining as they kissed. Somewhere in the back of Alec's mind, he knew that one day, it would be necessary to get over his terror of restraints.
But not today. No, today, Alec Trevelyan had other priorities in mind. Namely, taking care of his wife. Alec rolled over on top of her as he broke the kiss, and it drew a squeak from his wife. He loved it when she made that noise. It made her sound like a little girl. He loved most of the noises she made, however. Alec gazed down at her, whispering, "One other condition. You let me do the work. I'm in a mood to spoil you dreadfully, and I don't do it nearly enough. Do we have a deal?"
Alec turned the tables and nuzzled the side of her neck, the curve of her shoulder. That drew a breathy sigh, and Alec switched his attentions to the other side. This time, he added an incentive, stroking her thigh. Rowanne gasped, "I agree! I agree, I agree. . .oh." The sentence ended on a moan. Alec pulled back, quite pleased with himself. Her eyes were already glazed. They would be more so by the time he was finished with her.
"You. . .know. . .when you said. . .you wanted. . .to see me. . .big with your child?" she gasped as Alec began trailing kisses over her shoulders and collarbone. He made an assenting noise in his throat, and Rowanne continued, "That. . .oh. . .that has to be the sexiest. . .Alec." Just that. Just his name, gasped. Alec closed his eyes, adrenaline now pumping through his veins, making him dizzy and exhilarated at the same time.
He had to slow things down. Alec swore to take care of her, and right now, that meant ignoring his own needs. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, holding her tightly. Alec pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Her arms went around him in turn. Sometimes, when they made love, it was just like the first kiss. So intoxicating. . .first because of the power he derived from her innocence.
And now? The scales tipped while he was comatose and when he awakened, she was the one with the power. She could have told him what he did, and completely annihilated him. But she took care of him. In the beginning, she fed him herself. As he gained in strength, she steadied his hand. When he began walking again, he leaned on her. Now she intoxicated him because of her passion, her tenderness, her honesty.
Honesty. Alec spent the first thirty-six years of his life caught in one lie after another. The lies about his parents, the lies of his profession, then finally the lies of his imprisonment. In this woman, there were few deceptions. Only some secrets, and that he could live with. He had far too many secrets of his own, some of which he didn't even realize he knew. He would not begrudge her the secrets she carried.
"Ten dollars says she'll be asleep ten minutes after."
The speaker had his back to Matthew Tate, but that was no excuse. The ex-Marine told his young compatriot, "Don't tell me that you're betting on the bosses' sex life again." The two guilty parties swiveled around, both looking embarrassed. And rightfully so. Just because the boss had a camera installed in their bedroom didn't mean they had to watch him and the Lady Boss during their bedroom acrobatics.
Jack Wade, who was behind Matthew, added, "Yeah, you know you're not supposed to do that without me!" Matthew rolled his eyes and turned to glare at his immediate supervisor. Jack retorted, "What? Hey, it's not like watching porn! You can barely tell what they're doing! And Al did have us install that camera in their room!" Matthew rolled his eyes again and gestured to the pair to leave the security room, found in the basement of the manor.
"For security purposes only, Jack, not so we could watch him and Lady Boss do the horizontal mambo. The boss isn't Janus any more, in anything but name, but that doesn't mean he won't do some rather nasty things to you if he ever finds out. Hasn't he been violated enough?" Matthew demanded. Wade had the decency to look away.
They all saw the tapes that Robinson, the woman called 'M,' and Bond would be viewing today. They all knew what was done to Alec Trevelyan. They saw the footage, always when their boss was away. It was necessary, not to pity, but to understand the man for whom they worked. Matthew still had a hard time meeting Trevelyan's eyes. And because of that, he distanced himself from Lady Boss, as well.
That wasn't an option open to his immediate boss, and Matthew couldn't see how Jack could react this way. Wade muttered, "I still say Dozier's right, and she'll be asleep ten minutes after they finish. What the hell was she thinking last night? She should have stayed with Al, instead of trying to talk to Sabrina." Matthew didn't waste any more time. He just reached over and shut off the feed coming from the master bedroom.
"You're hopeless," Matthew muttered, watching the feed for the secret passage. He knew Lady Boss told their uninvited guests that she summoned help with the press of the button. The truth was, the door to the secret passage had a camera built in. . .with the same lever that opened the door. The lights and helicopter blades were simulated to scare the hell out of any intruder. Smoke and mirrors, baby. Smoke and mirrors.
Unfortunately, a newbie was on duty the night before and while he remembered to inform Wade about the intruders, he forgot to turn on the rest of the system. Which was why Matthew did it, before slipping out to join the rest of the Marines. There were times when having the barracks on the lowest level of the house came in handy. Not just when he was running late for security detail that day, either.
A motion out of the corner of his eye told him that Jack turned the feedback back on, and his boss said seriously, "I can't protect Al and Ro, if I don't know what's coming, Matt. You weren't here at the time, but I talked it over with both of them when the decision was made to put the camera in there. They don't like the idea of us watching. . .but Al likes the idea of being taken unaware even less."
Matthew couldn't argue with that point. They were silent for a long time. All three of their uninvited guests were up, and eating breakfast with their escorts, as well as Sabrina and Sassy. The woman was engaging the girls in conversation. . .well, she was engaging Sassy in conversation, while Sabrina seemed more focused on her food. But that was par for the course. The older Trevelyan daughter tended to be wary of strangers.
She was like that with everyone at first. Father, stepmother, sister, protectors, it didn't matter. Sabrina would have never asked the woman to look after her sleeping sister the night before. . .or rather, early this morning. . .if Matthew hadn't encouraged her. She didn't like the idea of asking a stranger to watch over her little sister, and especially not a stranger with someone as untrustworthy as she saw James Bond.
Matthew looked at the super spy with a thoughtful frown. Bond was in his late forties, perhaps early fifties, and he wore his age well. There were only hints of silver in his black hair, and he was just as quick on his feet as any young recruit. Right now, his eyes were narrowed as he in turn observed the Trevelyan girls. Almost as if he was expecting. . .what? For one of them to lunge across the table at them? With what? A pen?
Both girls were eating fruit. . .whole apples and whole bananas. There weren't any sharp objects within their reach, unless you wanted to count Sabrina's ever-present pen. Or maybe the man just wanted to know what sorts of girls these two were when they weren't worried about their parents. Sassy was happily chattering away with M, telling her all about her Aunt Corliss, who would be coming soon.
And without ever taking his eyes from Sabrina, Matthew noticed Bond's attention shift to the little girl as she told everyone at the table. Aunt Corliss was real pretty, though not as pretty as Mommy. Sabrina grinned when her little sister proudly announced to the table that no one was as pretty as Mommy. . .or as handsome as Daddy. Matthew almost laughed aloud as Bond almost choked on his beverage at that statement.
However, both M and Robinson's expressions showed only interest as Sassy explained that Aunt Corliss was in graduate school, though the eight year old stumbled over the word 'graduate.' She was studying geology, and she would predict earthquakes when she was finished with school. Sabrina said softly that Corliss had a Bachelor's Degree in geology, and she was studying seismology now. Only to have Sassy retort impatiently, that's what I just said!
Sabrina just rolled her eyes, and Matthew tried not to laugh. It was far too entertaining, watching Alec Trevelyan's two daughters. Especially when their parents weren't around. By now, their father would have collapsed into a heap, laughing hysterically. . .most likely at Bond's expression. What,did he think that they talked about the spy business during breakfast? Idiot! Matthew almost snorted in disgust.
Ever so often, Sabrina would throw in an observation or a clarification for her sister's chatter. M would nod to her briefly, then return her full attention to the little girl. Sassy was thoroughly enjoying all the attention. She was too sick to enjoy her mother's care during the last few days, and the weeks leading up to her illness were spent trying to get the house ready for the coming visit from Corliss.
That was actually rather funny to watch, as Lady Boss worked herself into an absolute state, trying to make sure the house was presentable. It was the first time a member of her family came for a visit since before Diana's death nearly three years earlier. Diana was the only member of the family who ever visited. Matthew only met her once, about three months after the boss regained consciousness.
And after Diana's death. . .well, Matthew discovered that he preferred not to think about the rest of the Bramwells. He could tolerate Lydia and Corliss, but he really hoped he never found himself in a dark alley with their mother. Never mind what Lady Boss said, he really had to go with M on this one. Matthew was taught to respect women. But after what Christine Bramwell did to her daughter, not just once but repeatedly over the years. . .he hated her with a passion. How any woman could say she loved her child, and yet work so hard to make sure she had no self-esteem. . .Matthew just couldn't comprehend that. And what kind of father would allow that to happen?
At least she still had them. . .especially Wade. Even if he did watch at inappropriate times. Though Matthew often gave his boss a hard time about it, he knew that Wade didn't focus on the couple, but around them. The windows, the doors. If Alec and Rowanne Trevelyan were in danger, they had to know. That was their job, that was their purpose. The Janus operatives did their jobs. . .the security detail did their own.
Wade muttered something under his breath and shook his head, saying much more clearly, "What did I tell you? She's out like a light. Probably the only reason Al agreed. . .he knew it would wear her out." In spite of himself, Matthew looked at the monitor in question. Wade was right. Rowanne Trevelyan was curled up securely in her husband's embrace, and from the looks of it, she was sound asleep.
He smiled at Wade, saying, "Fifty dollars says the boss lets her sleep until after noon." Wade looked at him suspiciously, then a broad grin spread over his face. The older man extended his hand to Matthew, taking the bet. They shook on it. Two things they knew. . .one, Alec Trevelyan would make sure his wife got the rest she needed. And two? About half an hour before she woke, their boss would ask them to get a meal ready for her. It was their job to take care of this family. . .and take care of them, they would.
If there was one word to describe James Bond's morning thus far, it was 'surreal.' First, he woke up, wondering why he believed M's assertions the night before. Alec Trevelyan couldn't be trusted. He fooled them all once. He would betray them again, but James wouldn't allow that to happen. He was a double-oh agent, and it was his calling to protect queen and country. Not his job, not just his career, but his calling.
He showered, and when he emerged from the bathroom adjoining his room, he found a change of clothes on his bed. Provided by Jack Wade, according to the note left with the clothes. James dressed, then joined M and Charles Robinson in the foyer. There were several awkward moments, as the Trevelyan sisters were also out of their room(?), but then the younger girl, Sassy, smiled brightly and skipped over to take M's hand.
"C'mon," the little girl said, "it's time for breakfast. But we gotta be real quiet. Mommy and Daddy are still asleep. Mommy was up for three days, taking care of me after I got sick, and Daddy's real worried about her." Rowanne Trevelyan was up for three days, taking care of her sick daughter? Where the hell was Alec? Sassy added after a moment, "Do I gotta call you 'M' when I talk to you? That's a silly name."
"No, my dear. Only my agents call me 'M.' Little girls, and not so little girls, need not do so," M replied, nodding regally to Sabrina Trevelyan as the five headed downstairs. M continued, "You can call me 'Miss Barbara,' if you like. Kit, my assistant, calls me 'LadyB' sometimes. And Sassy, why did your father not help take care of you while you were so sick?"
"Because he was helping me with a science project due after the break. We wanted to get as much of it done, so I could enjoy my vacation from school. Rowanne was supposed to help as well, but when Sassy got sick. . .well, she promised me that she would make it up to me later. Knowing Rowanne, that probably means something totally unexpected," Sabrina replied dryly, "one thing I know about my stepmother. . .she likes to think outside the box."
James grimaced. That was certainly one way of putting it! Charles said unexpectedly, "That is probably part of what drew your father to her. . .over and above her innocence, as he told us last night. Alec always liked to think outside the box. It drove M's predecessor utterly mad, but 002 always encouraged him."
Yes, there was no need to remind James of that! Sassy asked curiously, "What is double-oh two? Is that like calling Miss Barbara 'M,' or how Grandpa Jack sometimes calls Daddy 'Janus,' when he wants Daddy to listen to him?" They were almost to the kitchen now, and sleepy-looking operatives were coming out. There were smiles for the two young girls, and guarded nods for the three MI-6 representatives.
"Something like that, yes, dear. You see, in order to protect our agents, we refer to them as numbers. Your father's code name is 'Janus,' and your mother's is 'Juturna,' since she's his wife. When he worked for us, his number was double-oh six. Just like Commander Bond's number is double-oh seven," M explained. James frowned, not sure if he liked the idea of these girls knowing so much about MI6.
Especially when Sassy Trevelyan glared at him again, and said, "I don't like him. He hurt my Daddy." James rolled his eyes. Not only were there females indifferent to his charms, but they seemed to be over the age of sixty and under the age of eighteen. This was borne out a moment later, when Sabrina Trevelyan put her arm around her sister, smiling at him almost maliciously. Then again, perhaps it was just the Trevelyan girls.
Charles cleared his throat, answering, "Actually, Anastasia. . .I struck your father last night. I have since apologized to him." James stared at the other man with his best 'et tu?' look. Charles merely maintained eye contact with James for a long moment, then deliberately broke contact and looked at the two girls. He continued, "My name is Charles, and I used to work with your father. I hope we can be friends again." Sassy stopped and stared at him hard.
"You're sorry you hurt my daddy?" the little girl asked fiercely. M was looking at everyone and everything except Bond, but even so, the agent could see her smile. She was actually amused at this. Of course she was. . .at their first briefing, she called him a misogynist dinosaur. She would be thoroughly amused by the knowledge that there were some women whom he couldn't charm. . .even if they were young girls. Not that he was 'interested' in Sabrina Trevelyan. Good God, no! He had his standards, and seventeen year old girls were trouble, even when they weren't Alec Trevelyan's daughter!
"Very sorry. Especially since he was d. . .especially since he was protecting your mum when I hurt him," Charles replied. Protecting her mother. James thought of pressing the gun to Rowanne Trevelyan's temple, remembered Alec aiming a pistol at his own head. And for the first time, he wondered. . .why didn't he take the shot? Sometimes, it was necessary to wound the hostage, in order to save the hostage.
So why didn't Alec take the shot? Janus would have taken the shot. Alec would have taken the shot, back when I knew him best. Or, at least, when I thought I knew him best. Why not now? There was only one possibility that he could think of, and he wasn't willing to consider that. It simply wasn't possible. M said, distracting him as she helped Sassy into a chair, "Up you get. What do you girls usually have in the mornings?"
"Just some fruit on the weekends, if Dad and Rowanne aren't up yet. If they're up, Dad fixes breakfast. Especially if he's feeling especially mushy, and wants to take her breakfast in bed. But just fruit is fine. Oh, thanks, Kurt. Okay, Sass. . .let's go through the list we made. Grandpa Jack is picking Aunt Corliss up at the airport, check," Sabrina said, looking over a notebook that a young operative just handed to her.
"Do you do this often?" M inquired as she efficiently stripped the banana given to her by Sabrina Trevelyan before the notebook was handed to her. Sabrina looked up inquisitively, and M continued, "This is your spring break. I would have expected you to be doing something else." Bond tried to remember how old her children were now. . .they were teenagers when she first took over as M, nine years earlier.
"Rowanne takes care of everyone who lives here. . .Sassy and me, Dad, the Marines, the Janus team. I help her by keeping the lists. That keeps us all organized, and keeps things from getting too chaotic. Like now, since we have three. . .guests. . .we didn't anticipate having," Sabrina replied. There was a hard glint in Sabrina's blue-gray eyes as she stared at James. The agent tried to ignore her, however.
"Yes. . .of course. Is this the first time you've met Rowanne's sister Corliss? She spoke of her last night, after all," M asked. Sabrina made a notation as she bit into the pear she chose, then looked up with a frown. M continued, "What I mean is, I've heard your stepmother talk about her youngest sister, and you refer to her as 'Aunt Corliss,' but I would think that having guests here would be dangerous."
"Yeah. Aunt Diana was the only visitor we've had, and that was before I came. No, I know Aunt Corliss through phone calls and emails. Well, pictures too. Aunt Diana sent pictures of the family before she was killed, and Rowanne has them set up in her office. No, you saw the computer room, not Rowanne's office. The computer room is for her and Dad," Sabrina replied.
"Mommy has her own office, 'cause Daddy says she needs her own space. He told her that it was a special closet, then had it decorated and took her in there for her birthday," Sassy said with a proud grin. Sounded more like Alec's lies, though it was for his wife's birthday. Not the same thing as faking his own death, then being reborn as the leader of a crime syndicate.
"It was listed in the blueprints as a huge walk-in closet. My dad decided that it would work better as an office for Rowanne. And since Sassy and I already chose our bedrooms at that point, Dad knew the bedroom attached to the closet. . .intended bedroom, I mean. . .would be empty. So, he had it decorated it. . .the walk-in closet. . .with Rowanne's favorite pictures and office furniture, then turned that bedroom into a library instead," Sabrina observed.
She smiled, adding, "The office was for her birthday. . .her thirtieth, I think. . .the office and the library. There was room left for a few bookshelves in the library, so Dad had two curio cabinets made as anniversary gifts, then put Rowanne's dragon collection in one, and her dolphin collection in the other." The girl shook her head, laughing softly as she continued, "I don't think I've ever seen Rowanne smile like that, since then."
"Well, I'm sure that Rowanne will smile like that again, since her sister will be here. Tell us more about Corliss," M invited. Yes, please do, Bond thought sarcastically, I'm certain she's just like her sister. He bit back a surprised yelp at the sudden pain in his shin. . .especially after M gave him her best disappointed headmistress look. And unfortunately for him, she was quite good at those.
If he was psychic, there was no doubt that he would have heard her say, 'pay attention, 007. . .not to your own grudges, but to what these girls tell you. It may be important.' The worst part was, he knew she was right. But every time he looked at these girls, he saw their father. And as Sassy began telling about her Aunt Corliss, James realized with a sick feeling in his gut that he would have to talk to Alec. One on one.