Hi! I'm back! Told you it wouldn't be long 'til update!
So how's life treating everyone? Lol I suck at small talks. Anyways, I would like to say thanks to my beta 'LoveIsles' love ya! You rock!
Guest: haha you'll find the answers to your questions soon and no you didn't miss anything, well maybe a few clues here and there
Guest2: uhm.. it'll end happily yes. Maybe. I'm not sure. But I do hope you'll continue reading it :D
Xenagabbyrizzilsles: hi! Hi! Thank you!
Cjunited38: I'm glad you find it funny. Thanks!
Dr. Hir: Ian is Ian lol.. the confirmation of your question is somewhere there in the update :)
Cdownes: hi! Thanks! I'm glad to be back as well.
Magicfull: Yes! You fall for my surprise I'm glad!
Madbadger: *bows down* thank you!
IsaBabisa: well yeah.. at least she called her name right? Thank you!
Jkarr: yes and it was quite embarrassing eh?
So, disclaimer: R&I is not mine. Emma is not mine as well she's from Once Upon A Time. Danielle Clementine Isles however is a figment of my imagination.
This is a little angsty and I hope you'll enjoy it. I love you all! Have fun!
"Hey," Jane greeted upon seeing her newly awakened best friend.
"What's up?" Emma asked stifling a yawn.
Jane shrugged.
Emma knew about the disastrous dinner that she had at the Isles household a few nights ago. However, they weren't able to talk about it because of Emma's line of work.
"Tell me, are you still avoiding her?" Emma asked. Jane knew better that she shouldn't lie to her friend because of the skill she had in determining if someone was lying or not.
"What do you want me to do? Show my face after the stupid thing I pulled in her house? Em, if you only saw me. I was an ass!" She exclaimed.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Emma commented which earned her a pillow flying towards her face.
"So, you haven't talked to Ian then." Emma concluded.
"I was so embarrassed! That's at the top of the list of the most embarrassing moments that have happened to me Em! Jesus!"
"This is worse than I thought! You're already using the name of the Lord in vain! What would Mama Rizzoli say to you, Janie?!" Emma teased.
"Shut up!" she retorted lamely. Emma stared at her friend with pity. It had been days since she'd been trying to be a hermit in her own cave of an apartment. If she knew her friend that well, she would have known that Jane had been avoiding Maura like a plague.
Emma sighed.
"Tell me everything." She said.
"Gay?" Jane asked. Surprise and confusion marred her face at Maura's statement.
"That's what I said." Maura replied looking rather annoyed at the repetition.
"I… you…" Jane stuttered. She didn't know what to say. Her mind was swirling back to the moment that she heard Maura talk to Ian on the phone, to their interaction at BPD, and finally, how Ian put his arms around Maura.
She's a detective. All of the evidence points to the fact that Ian isn't gay but Maura said he is and she can't lie to save her life.
She didn't know what to believe anymore.
All she remembered doing was saying a hasty goodbye and thanking them for the meal before bolting outside. She wasn't expecting anyone to follow her, but her detective skills weren't working well for her..
Ian followed her.
"Jane, are you going to be alright?" Ian asked with a hint of guilt in his voice. Guilt for playing her, guilt for embarrassing her… she didn't know anymore.
Jane nodded.
"Call me." Ian said before giving her a piece of paper. "Take care."
"And you're still not calling him?" Emma asked.
"No. I can't call him."
"Why?!"
"Maybe I'm afraid of what he'll say." Jane replied solemnly.
"So tell me. She has a child?" Emma asked.
"Yes. Danielle Clementine! She's an angel Em." Jane said dreamily at her friend
"You fell for another Isles, I see." Emma teased after which she only received a nod from the detective. She then asked the question that had been bugging Jane all this time.
"Do you know the father is?" She asked.
Jane stared at Emma. She was at a loss . Her mind was whirling with all the possibilities. There's Ian, but they said Ian was gay. However, Jane was uncertain about whether Maura and he had had sex and it resulted Danielle.
Jane shuddered at the thought.
She shook her head.
"No I don't." She replied softly. "Maura's telling the kid how Prince J left Princess Mau."
"She's telling the kid your story?" Emma asked eyes bulging.
"I think she was more on telling how she got Dani than telling her our story. But she wasn't wrong. J did leave Mau." Jane said.
It was a rainy evening.
Jane could still vividly remember how she was walking towards Maura's house. And feeling so lost. The rain was pouring heavily, but she didn't mind it all. Her mind was swirling with the possibilities of what would happen after she'd executed her plan. She didn't mind the cold that seemed to envelope her thin body. All of her focus that night was the fact that she would break Maura's heart and she'd break her own in the process.
That night she discovered that those people were right who said 'love always ends with someone getting hurt.'
Jane could still see the little carvings on Maura's apartment door, hear the sound of her knock when she finally found the courage to do so, and feel her breath getting shallower with every second that passed that Maura hadn't answered the door.
And then, Maura did.
She remembered stopping to breathe again.
She remembered looking at Maura's warm hazel eyes and hearing her voice escape from her throat. All of a sudden she became hyperaware of what she was feeling.
Her hands were clammy.
She could feel the cold air entering her lungs.
And her heart was beating wildly.
Jane remembered closing her eyes at the sound of Maura's silky smooth voice. She remembered counting one to ten just to calm her nerves. She recalled voicing out the words that she never thought she'd say to her Maura.
She could still clearly remember the confused look on Maura's face, and how the rim of her eyes turned red as the realization hit her.
Jane could still perfectly hear Maura's voice asking her, demanding that she say something to her. Jane could still feel the weight of Maura's emotions as she stared at those sad hazel eyes that she swore never to hurt.
Maura didn't shove the door close and she pleaded for Jane's explanation. And seeing Maura's teary eyes made Jane's knees buckle.
She remembered saying sorry and turning her back from the woman she loved. She heard the faint call of her name, but it only fueled the heartache that she was feeling at that moment.
She knew she needed to go.
Jane remembered running in the rain, her footsteps echoing in the dark night as her heavy steps clashed with the dark pavement. Jane remembered letting her tears fall, letting them run down her face with the rain. She welcomed the cold air of the night because nothing could compare to the cold she was feeling inside.
That night, she had run away from the person she loved.
That same night, she felt her heart break in two.
"Hey! Where did you go?" Emma asked her green eyes looking at Jane with worry.
"Somewhere." Jane started licking her lips before looking away. "Somewhere horrible."
Jane and Emma didn't talk about that night. Emma knew perfectly well where her friend went and her heart ached remembering the pain in Jane's eyes. She knew it was her friend's fault. However, Emma was Jane's friend, and ally, and no matter what, she'd side with her.
She did however pester Jane into meeting with Ian. She knew Jane had many questions that needed to be answered. She wasn't surprised when after a week, she received a phone call from Jane saying that she'd be meeting with Ian Faulkner.
Jane entered the Dirty Robber and found a booth that was almost hidden from people's prying eyes. There she thought of what she would learn from this talk with Ian. She tried to think of all the possibilities, but she came up with nothing.
Her phone buzzed signaling that someone had texted her, and there was Ian's message, he was outside The Robber. She texted back that she was already inside just around the corner at the end of the bar.
"Thank you for coming" Jane said as soon as Ian reached the booth where she was settled.
"I have been waiting for your call." said Jane.
I think I'm surprised that you called me at all, Jane." Ian replied swiftly.
Jane called the waiter over and ordered a beer and Ian got a glass of wine.
Just as the waiter left, Jane changed her mind and asked for a glass of scotch.
Liquid courage.
She needed it.
"Did… d-did she know that you were meeting me?" Jane asked apprehensively.
"You make it sound like she's my keeper." Ian replied
"Sorry" she mumbled.
Ian chuckled. "It's okay."
Silence.
Jane didn't know how to start. She had so many questions and she couldn't formulate any of them.
She wanted to ask about Maura and Danielle. She wanted to ask how Maura was. She wanted to know everything.
"So, you're gay." Jane blurted dumbly.
Ian didn't answer, instead, he laughed. The hard headed and usually confident detective sunk into her chair at the embarrassment she was experiencing and Ian noticed immediately.
"Sorry. I'm really sorry." Ian said as he tried to calm himself.
"Yes. I am gay." He said a moment later looking directly into Jane's eyes. It was as if he was trying to make sure that what he was saying was true.
"So you and Maura." She hung.
"There's no me and Maura. She's been my best friend since college." Ian delivered easily as if knowing what was on Jane's mind.
Jane released a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was holding.
"So Dani isn't yours?" She asked. She really wanted to know who the father was despite having no idea what to do with that fact.
"God no!" Ian exclaimed, almost spitting the wine that he had sipped. It was almost comical, if only Jane wasn't a nervous wreck. "Maura is gorgeous but I never thought of doing that to her. I would gladly curl her hair, but have sex with her? No! I've been gay since middle school and I wouldn't change who I am just because I have a beautiful woman in front of me." He replied.
"So who is?" Jane asked.
That is when Ian's face changed.
"It's not my place to say. I know you have a lot of questions, but I can't say who he is." He said regretfully.
"Was Maura at least happy with him?"
"She was. Over the years that we've been friends, I have only seen her happy three times, like very happy." Ian started. "One of those times was when she was with you." He paused.
Jane felt her heart was slowly cracking at the revelation.
"The second time, when she was with him and the third was when Dani was born." He finished.
"If she was so happy with him then where is he now?" Jane asked. She couldn't comprehend why someone would leave Maura. Maura was so perfect in so many ways and leaving her was the move of an idiot.
'That's why you're and idiot, Idiot!' Her brain taunted.
"He was committed." Ian said.
"What?" Jane asked incredulously. "Why would Maura do that?" She asked.
Her beautiful and sweet Maura fell for a cheater. It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't left the woman and had protected her. Maura didn't deserve to be shoved to the sidelines.
'Isn't that what you did to her when you were together?' her brain asked once again. She was feeling nauseous at the thoughts that kept on entering her mind. Her brain travelled to the moment when she was with Maura and a litany of memories started to pour into her mind. She did shove Maura to the sidelines.
She was just like the cheating guy.
She and him treated Maura like a prized possession but never showed how much she loved her in front of people. She should've done that.
But she didn't.
"Why would Maura commit to someone who was already committed?" Jane asked Ian.
She was desperate for answers.
She wanted to know what triggered Maura to do it.
She wanted to go back to that rainy night and run, back to Maura's loving arms of Maura.
But it was too late.
She could never go back and she would never be able to protect Maura.
"She was a big girl. She felt loved. She was happy and she was savoring the moments while she could. The guy treated her well, she was a princess in his eyes. She knew it was only temporary and as much as she wanted to make it last, she knew it wouldn't. She just fell in love and she couldn't stop herself." Ian replied, looking at the windowsill.
"But why, why would she do that?"
"I don't know. But she always ends up with something that is forbidden. Don't you think?" Ian asked looking back at Jane. He was gauging her reaction and she was famous for not being able to control her facial expressions when it came to reactions. She knew her face gave it away.
Her face was showing regret.
"But why a cheater?!" Jane desperately asked. "She could have anyone she wants. Why fall for a cheater?"
"It's not like it's the first time she fell for a cheater." Ian shrugged as he looked directly at Jane.
Jane was confused. Why was Ian looking her like that?
"What?" Jane asked aggressively.
"She saw you Jane." He replied sternly.
"Saw me what?"
"You were kissing Casey three days after you broke up with her. That was also the day she told me she was leaving for Paris."
Jane's thought about the letter once again.
'But today, I resolve to stop bothering you. I have decided to let you be. And give you the space that you asked for.'
'I will do anything to win you back if life wants me to.'
Jane remembered not receiving any messages from Maura three days after the break up. It wasn't like she was expecting Maura to contact her. She was avoiding the blonde during that time after all she couldn't explain the words that she'd said to Maura. She never gave her an explanation.
But each day, during the span of three days, there were multiple missed calls and messages from the honey blonde.
Until the messages stopped.
And all that was left were memories and a newly discovered letter in an old chemistry book.
And it was like she was taken back fifteen years to a rainy day.
When hearts were shattered and tears fell as the rain poured from the sky.
It was a horrible day.
So, there. please review guys.. it'll be very nice to hear from you!
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