When Rose and Ringo awoke, they were both very disoriented. That may have been partially due to the fact that they were hanging upside down by their arms and legs from a spit.
Once Ringo's vision cleared up, he started to try to get a visual on something besides the sky and the large branch looming directly above him.
They seemed to be in a camp of some sort. There were huts made out of woven grass and reeds all around them, and they seemed to be positioned in the center of the little village. There were people milling about (most of them with a shockingly minimalist taste in clothing), their bodies covered with wild painted designs.
Just then, Ringo felt a tingle in his nose. And it kept tingling. It intensified to a nearly unbearable sensation. He tried to stop it. He had no finger to put under his nose, so he held his breath until he thought he might turn blue, but it didn't stop the tingling. Ringo felt his mouth start to open against his own will.
*A-CHOO!*
In an instant, every single painted face had their eyes set on Ringo.
Ringo was fairly grateful that his bandmates hadn't been there, otherwise they would have been cursing his 'trombone hooter' (though that didn't mean he wasn't mentally cursing himself at that moment).
The people started talking amongst themselves in a very strange language, and Ringo just stared, wide-eyed.
Rose was frozen. She thought about playing dead, but she didn't think that would do her much good. She just sat still.
Just then, a native started to reach out to Ringo's face. Ringo shrunk back, swinging on the spit. The same thing was happening to Rose.
At that moment, something sitting over near on of the huts caught Rose's eye.
Drums. They were more like bongos, really, but they were drums.
"Ringo,", she hissed.
This shocked the natives, but it caught his attention.
"Hmm?", he said, his mouth pressed shut as he was trying in vain to keep a child-native from inspecting his nose.
"Show them something on the drums!".
"Are you potty?", he shot back.
"Just do it!".
"Begging your pardon, but I'm tied upside down to a spit!".
"So am I! Now do something to get us free!".
"But I don't even have my sticks!".
"Do it!", Rose commanded, which gave the natives a start.
Ringo gulped as he looked back into the faces of the natives, their dark eyes still scanning him.
"Uh...", he started.
"Uh...", one native tried to copy him. Ringo tried to not let this alarm him.
"Do you chaps play the drums?".
They just looked at him.
"Drums?", he tried again, trying to motion 'drums' with his hands that were sticking up above his bound wrists.
This unfortunately only brought attention to his rings. The natives were immediately captivated by their sparkle (which they hadn't noticed before), and started to reach out to his hands all at once. Ringo involuntarily let out a whine of dismay (he quite liked his rings and fancied keeping them), and this made them back off a bit.
"Drums!", he said more firmly, and started nodding his head wildly in the direction of the bongos.
It took several seconds, but they finally understood. They started smiling in realization of what he meant, and a couple of them started carrying their primitive drum set over to where Ringo was hanging. Ringo prodded them to play, and after a minute or so of trying to get them to understand, one young man finally did. And boy did he.
Ringo started to seriously wonder why parents of his fans back in his own world thought the Beatles' music so 'wild'. The native's rhythms were very fast and complicated, and the people who were standing around started dancing and throwing themselves about in a very helter-skelter fashion.
Ringo wished he weren't hanging upside down so he could get a more practical view of the boy's technique. Ringo thought that the rhythm would go on forever before they finally stopped.
When they finished, they just stopped and stared once again at their guests.
"Now let us play for you,", said Rose.
They obviously did not understand.
"Uh...", Rose stammered, trying to find a way to explain.
"RINGO,", she spoke loudly and slowly, nodding her head towards her companion. "DRUMS,", she said, now nodding her head towards the drums on the ground. She repeated this gesture a few times before the natives finally made a move to cut Ringo's bonds.
"Good,", said Rose, smiling and nodding slowly.
Once Ringo was released, Rose expected them to free her next. But they didn't. They sat Ringo down next to the drums, and he started to look them over.
"Ringo!", said Rose, frowning, still upside down. "My arms are going numb!".
"Oh,", he said. "Free my friend?", he asked slowly, motioning to Rose.
The natives made 'Ah' sounds, and they understood. In a moment, Rose was once again seeing the world from the correct angle.
Rose plopped down beside Ringo in the red dirt.
"Okay,", said Rose, trying to keep smiling at the natives (who were staring at them expectantly). "What do we do?".
"I've got it sorted,", said Ringo. "I need sticks, though.".
"Can't you play without?".
"I could try, but I think they would be disappointed. And I don't know what that would be like,", said Ringo, still trying to keep up a sunny smile.
Rose spotted sticks lying on the ground in a stack nearby. She started to get up. All the natives just watched as she made her way over to the pile of twigs.
She picked out two sturdy ones of appropriate length. The natives then started towards her, one brandishing a spear made of sharpened wood. Rose dropped the sticks and raised her hands defensively. The natives stopped.
"Um, no, I'm not stealing...", she tried, but this did not seem to affect them. "Drums,", she said, picking the sticks back up, and motioning like she was playing the drums. This seemed to confuse them, so she slowly and carefully brought the sticks over to Ringo. He took them gently.
"What do we play?", he asked.
"You just do your thing,", said Rose, motioning him to carry on.
"They might want you to do something,", suggested Ringo.
"I can't drum.".
"Sing,", he said, still smiling at the natives, especially at the one with the spear.
"What do we sing?".
"Anything. Something from one of the LPs.".
"That's quite a wide field,", prodded Rose.
"Okay, um, do you know 'I Wanna Be Your Man'?".
"Of course, but it might sound a bit funny, me singing that,", Rose commented.
"They can't understand the lyrics, for Pete's sake.".
"Oh. Right.".
Ringo gave the sticks a little test on the primitive drum set, and it wasn't half a minute before he was pounding them like he had been practicing with them for years. Rose clapped to the beat and occasionally joined in singing.
"I wanna be your lover, baby, I wanna be your man. Love you like no other baby, like no other can, love you like no other, baby, I wanna be your man".
The song progressed, and the natives started dancing around a bit. One even started to bop his head (a feeling that he was obviously unfamiliar with, but took quite a liking to it).
Somewhere in the middle of the song, Rose attempted a John Lennon "Ow!", which at first astonished the natives, but they were soon joining in, and in a few more bars, the whole settlement was screaming like Lennon.
When the song was over, they all just stared at Rose and Ringo, and Ringo's stage-intuition saw in their eyes that they wanted more (a look that he saw after every song and every show).
"What now?", said Ringo.
"How about 'I Want To Hold Your Hand'?".
And the jam session continued for that much longer. Rose and Ringo were actually starting to enjoy themselves a little, and they were amused by the native's reaction to the songs (Ringo especially).
They played about five more songs, and it seemed to appease the natives, who quite liked the Fab Four sound, apparently.
They stopped after 'Roll Over Beethoven'. The natives did, too. The natives stared at them, and Rose and Ringo's smiles did not seem to sooth them any longer. One stepped up towards the pair. He pointed his spear at Ringo, and nodded towards the drums. Ringo turned a little pale, but immediately started back up with a fast, upbeat drumline with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.
"What are we doing?", asked Rose, not sure how to join in.
"She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!".
"Oh.". Rose tried to join in here and there.
"A-hey, hey Ro-o-ose, you don't suppo-o-ose, ",
Rose immediately noticed there was something wrong with these lyrics.
"That they'll be coming soon, I'm thinking they've forgotten us,", Ringo sang perfectly in tune with the song.
"She said she loves you! And you know that can't be bad,", he continued.
"I say they're coming, and then we will be glad! *OOOO*", replied Rose.
And together now, "She loves you, yeah yeah yeah! She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!".
Ringo hadn't even finished the song before Rose called in, "'I Saw Her Standing There'!".
Ringo immediately changed over to the next song with no pause in between.
They started the song with the real lyrics. Rose was starting to feel desperate for a rescue. They couldn't go on playing forever.
Just then, Rose's heart leaped.
She saw a tiny, gentle blue glow a few hundred feet away, just outside the settlement clearing in the jungle.
"... So how could I dance with another? *OOO* When I saw her standing there".
Rose cut in, "Well my heart went boom, when They crossed that room, and he shined a blue light!". Rose was now bopping her head repetitively in the direction that she had seen the screwdriver light.
"Well, I see the blue light, and I know it'll be all right, now what do you say, why don't we run?", Ringo responded.
"Well, if we run now, we'll be dead, and you know it! *OOO* Since I saw her standing there.".
Rose decided to give an especially loud "OW!", in hopes that they would be heard and rescued sooner rather than later.
The song was almost over, and Rose didn't wait for it to end before rather loudly starting up her next number; "WAIT! Oh, yes, wait a minute Mister Doctor! Way-yay-yay-yait Mister Doctor! Mister Doctor, wait and see, is there is there a rescue in the bag for me? We've been waiting a long long time, since we've heard from those friends of mine!".
Though the Beatles definitely wouldn't be asking for her help with lyrics any time soon, Rose was hoping that the sounds of "DOCTOR!", ringing through the forest would catch their attention.
Rose was closely eyeing the perimeter of the camp as she belted out yet another terribly mutilated verse of lyrics (with the word 'Doctor' grossly overused and shouted at every opportunity), and for a moment she thought she saw a white shirtsleeve peep from behind a tree.
Just behind a batch of bushes low to the ground there had just arrived three young men and a Time Lord. They were lying in the dirt, trying to peer through the branches at their estranged friends, still a few hundred feet away.
"What's the plan?", asked Paul, rather more anxious to make a hasty rescue than any of the rest (for the sake of impressing Rose, of course).
"I'm thinking,", said the Doctor, staring critically at a few leaves in front of his face.
"What are they doing, anyway?", asked George, trying to get a better look.
"Well, it didn't take Ringo long to find the drums, even all the way out here,", laughed John, who had the best view. "'E's using twigs as sticks,", said John, starting to laugh more and more. "... And those look like some kind of... bongos. And all the painted people are dancing.".
"Oh, please, MISTER DOCTOR OVER HERE!", came a distant singing voice that sounded a lot more like shouting (Rose's ridiculous appeals finally heard in the ears of those she was trying to reach).
"Is that Rose?", said Paul, an amused grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.
"Listen...", said the Doctor.
When they listened hard, they could hear Rose and Ringo ad-libbing ridiculous lyrics to the tune of 'Please Mister Postman'.
"Look this way please, and set us free! You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute, oh, Doctor! Wait a minute, wait a minute, OOW YEAH!", screamed Rose.
It took the hands of both George and Paul over John's mouth to keep him from howling with laughter.
Back from Ringo and Rose's point of view, Rose was quickly thinking of a song to go onto next without pausing. More than once she nearly decided on a song in her mind that hadn't been written yet from Ringo's point of view.
Before Ringo finished the first number, she started singing.
"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time, you ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time, well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine".
Ringo knew she was starting to run out of ideas. And though he had had experience with shows lasting many long, demanding hours in the dark, smoke-filled places that were the clubs of Hamburg, that was somehow different than playing everything top speed at spear-point in the middle of the rainforest. His mind was starting to go blank between songs.
This was possibly the most ridiculous thing that Rose had ever attempted. But she knew the minute they stopped the guy with the spear would threaten them again. Rose only hoped that they could hear her and she wasn't just singing awfully with made-up lyrics to the very people who would later turn her and Ringo into a kebab.
Ringo, on the other hand, had never drummed so long without even a two second pause. If he even made a move to let Rose sing and rest his aching arms, he saw the man with a spear give him a look. So Ringo just swallowed the pain and pounded on.
Just then, something unexpected happened. Another native walked into the little settlement. He was a big, tall man, and looked to be approaching old age. Rose and Ringo continued with their speed-round "concert", but all of the other natives stopped dancing immediately and faced the old man, kneeling to the ground immediately.
"The king, then?", Ringo whispered over to Rose.
"Looks like it,", agreed Rose.
Rose had stopped singing, but Ringo drummed on for fear of the guy with the spear. Ringo kept going, even after the entire camp had fallen silent. Rose had a feeling he should stop, but didn't say anything as she was also unsure. In a moment, she would get certainty.
The leader was looking over his subjects, and speaking to them rapidly in their language. No one made eye contact with him. He looked over at Ringo after a bit. He wasn't pleased. He frowned. Ringo stopped drumming.
"Tikangua-gua. Muntemankui,", he spoke to the young man with the spear, who was then on his knees.
The young man immediately flew to his feet and started to help the old man step up to the pair of strangers. The king looked them over critically; a young lady with rather mussed up blonde curls and a quite bedraggled-looking pink t-shirt with dirty jeans and tennis shoes, a young man with unkempt, damp, floppy brown hair, dressed in his white button-down shirt only buttoned in one place, black trousers, and his bare feet.
"Kientigui. Shiniynui,", said the old man.
The young man did not hesitate a second before grabbing Ringo's arm and dragging him to his feet, only to force him to kneel before the king.
Ringo started to open his mouth to say something, but the old man rared back and slapped him hard across the face.
Rose's eyes were immediately set alight with a flame of anger. She barely stayed seated. She ground her teeth until it hurt.
"Nikimanmat,", said the old man, waving his hand dismissively, starting to walk off. The young man immediately got a chokehold on Ringo. He took a small knife out of his belt, and held the blade to Ringo's throat, preparing to cut it wide open. Ringo was a pale shade of gray, and tried to struggle, but it was no use.
Rose kept her cool. She stood up rather suddenly, and tapped the young native casually on the shoulder. He looked over at her, a bit confused, but still quite angry looking. A lump developed in Rose's throat. She said nothing for about two seconds. Plan B.
"Woah, what's that?", she said, pointing the other way. The spear-guy immediately looked.
Rose then delivered a clean right-hook in the mouth that knocked the spear-guy completely off his feet, and his knife went flying through to air. She shocked herself, and was rather proud, but there wasn't time to bask in her victory.
"RUN!", Rose screamed, grabbing Ringo's hand and making a mad dash in the direction that they had seen the screwdriver light a few minutes earlier.
They ran right past the Doctor and the lads, who were just then charging into the camp in what would have been a do-or-die rescue effort. The others made a quick U-turn, and Rose grabbed the Doctor's hand as she flew by. Now they felt quite at home. Running for their lives.
In about 30 seconds or less, the entire settlement (minus the one that Rose had just taken a shot at; he was still spitting blood) was on their heels. Paul, George, and John were barely keeping up.
They were running wildly through the jungle, practically airborne as they leaped and jumped over vines that would hang them up.
Before Rose even realized it, they ran up on a huge ravine, a small river trickling in the bottom of it, and she felt her weight pushing her in as she came to a screeching halt. The Doctor held onto her as she teetered on the edge, trying to get her balance. But it wasn't of much use. John, George, and Paul were rather in a hurry, seeing as they had about two dozen angry natives with spears hooting and hollering on their tails, and didn't even notice the rest of their party at a dead stop ahead until it was too late. Paul ran smack into Rose, and this sent them both completely over the edge.
"ROSE!", called the Doctor, but it was too late.
Rose and Paul landed with a tremendous *splash* in the river. They went some distance underwater before they both finally surfaced.
"Are you all right?", Paul asked Rose, as he himself was busy choking up water.
"Yeah, how about you?", coughed Rose.
"Fine, I think.".
But before anything else could happen, their eyes were caught by the spectacle above them.
John, George, Ringo, and the Doctor could then be seen swinging across the ravine on vines hanging from the trees, the natives on their heels, stopping short at the edge of the river, shouting angrily in their language. John, as usual, was whooping like a giddy schoolboy.
Paul couldn't help but laugh, and Rose joined in. But as soon as she looked back to the other side of the river, she wasn't laughing anymore. There was a young brave aiming to throw a spear directly at her.
"Deep breath!", she shouted at Paul quickly.
They both gasped in, and joined hands so as to not lose eachother underwater, and submerged themselves, swimming down. The water was muddy, and even when she opened her eyes, Rose could barely see Paul. She tried not to exhale at all so she wouldn't create bubbles, but after about 45 seconds, she couldn't hold her breath any longer. She emptied her lungs and started back to the surface for air. Paul followed so he wouldn't lose her.
Rose gasped for air once above the surface, and Paul followed with only a second's delay. But it didn't take them long to see that the natives were still looming at the bank. The both gasped for another breath and went back under, this time swimming downstream far underwater.
Rose's arms and legs were aching terribly by the time that both their sets of lungs were in desperate need for oxygen (Rose's more than Paul the vocalist's). They both surfaced side by side, feeling like they could drink the air.
Rose looked around them, and there wasn't a sign of a single soul on the banks.
"We've lost them,", said Paul, still out of breath.
"And we've lost the boys and the Doctor, too,", said Rose, surveying the other side of the bank as well.
They just tread water for a moment, feeling a little exhausted.
"That was some punch, that. You'll have to teach me that sometime. Might come in handy in pubs or something,", teased Paul, giving her a little wink.
"It was nothing...", said Rose, rolling her eyes modestly, though obviously a bit proud. Then her expression changed to one of contempt (but she was smiling behind her eyes).
"And where the hell were you, then?", she said, giving him a light punch in the shoulder. "We were calling, well, erm, uh...", she stopped, embarrassed, hoping he hadn't heard her caterwauling.
"Yes. 'Oh, please, Mister Doctor'", he sang (in perfect tune as opposed to Rose's aimless screeching), smirking at her.
Rose gave a rather indignant smile. "If we stopped singing, the bloke threatened us with a spear, so we had to keep on.".
"That's what it was, then, was it? Mmm hmm,", said Paul, suppressing a smile.
"Anyway, fat lot of good you were doing, hiding in the bushes while Ringo and I were about to be murdered,", said Rose in mock-exasperation.
"Sorry, but as you were running out, didn't you notice us running in? No plan, no weapons, just a mind to save you two and what do we get?,", said Paul, pursing his lips, pretending to be angry.
"I could have used a bit of help.".
"I think you were fine. Brilliant, in fact.".
Rose smiled a little, but was not willing to give into flattery.
"Shut up,", she insisted.
"No,", he protested, unable to not smile.
They just looked at eachother for a moment. Paul's hair looked rather funny, disheveled and hanging just a little too long over his eyes since it was sopping wet. Rose didn't like to think about what she looked like, though she had ratted, stringy pieces of her blonde hair hanging in her face, that much she knew.
Rose finally coughed and looked away when the staring and silence felt like it was going on too long.
"Listen,", said Paul, clearing his throat. "I know this a bit of an odd time, but... I wonder, if you would, um, perhaps consider... maybe going out someplace when we get back to the real world? Maybe dinner, or dancing... Or something?".
Rose couldn't help but smile at him. Sopping wet, his shirt buttoned in the wrong holes (making for a lop-sided open collar), his hair sticking out a bit on the sides and clinging flat to his forehead, and somehow managing to blush whilst being almost entirely submerged in cold water.
Rose opened her mouth to answer, but then she saw movement in the corner of her eye. She looked round, and she knew at once that the moment was ruined. Out of the frying pan; into the fire.
It was a crocodile.
She looked back at Paul with a rather pale expression and wide, horrified eyes.
"...Or a film? Whatever you want,", said Paul, biting his lip.
Rose gulped.
"Um... Paul, I think we should, maybe, perhaps... Run.".
He furrowed his brow at her for a second, but then she started very slowly nodding her head towards the animal now only feet away. It was lying on a small sandbar under a rock overhang on the other side of the little river.
"Oh,", said Paul seeing. He then definitely stopped blushing. "All right then,", he gulped. "So, do we climb?", he said, motioning with this eyes to the rock side of the ravine that was nearest to them.
"I think we might,", said Rose. "We wouldn't stand a chance swimming.".
"Okay, exactly how are we going to do this?", he asked.
This sounded like a very proper drawing room conversation only because they did not want to alert the beast.
Rose looked up the side of the cliff.
"You first.".
It was a little more than vertical, angling in towards the top, but there were jagged pieces here and there sticking out.
"I think you should go first. You've gotten almost-murdered too many times today.".
"Now is no time to be a gentleman. Thank you, but no. So please, just climb,", said Rose, motioning with her hands towards the cliff.
He didn't answer, he just started over to the cliff and found a few indentations to put his hands in. He started to pull himself up, and it was no easy job. He was soaking wet, and his water-logged Cuban heels were definitely not helping matters. It was slow going, trying to find footholes and handholes all the way up. His feet were only about 4 feet above the water when Rose's head was turned back to the crocodile by the noises it was making. Growling, roaring. It started moving towards the water.
"Oh, my GOD. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,", said Rose, suppressing screaming and tapping the back of Paul's leg repetitively.
Paul tried to climb faster, but just then, he was starting to reach the inward angle of the cliff, and the climbing got harder.
The crocodile was still coming. Rose saw her entire life flash like a bolt of lightning before her eyes as it climbed smoothly down into the water like a submarine entering the harbor and preparing to dive.
Rose was trying very, very hard not to cry out as it headed right for her and got closer. And closer. And closer.
In a last attempt, she lept onto the side of the wall like a cat (nearly hitting her head on Paul's boot), and tried to climb quickly.
The crocodile increased it's speed across the water. Rose only had her left foot a few feet above water level before it was upon her. It extended it's absolutely massive snout up in the air towards her. It opened its mouth.
"GO!", Rose screamed. Paul was nearly to the top now.
It snapped.
Rose let a shreak escape her, and slammed her eyes shut. She didn't want to look down. But she thought that it might have completely taken off her foot.
She looked back slowly, and she was wrong. But what she saw wasn't that great either.
The beast had the end of her shoe in it's front teeth.
She started kicking and flinging her foot from side to side with all her might, but the beast held on firmly.
"PAUL!", she screeched.
"Hang on!", he shouted from above.
Rose continued to kick. The beast then started to pull downwards on her shoe. Rose started frantically pawing the rocks as they started to slip from her grip. The pulling continued, and Rose ground her teeth, trying in vain to pull against the strength of the crocodile. She was almost back down to water level before she had a desperate idea. It might kill her, and it might save her life.
She let go with her other foot, and started to use all her remaining strength to try and boot the crocodile in the nose, as one would a dog who wouldn't let loose of a bone. Suspended by her arms only, she repetitively came down hard on the beast's nose over and over again. It didn't seem to be affecting the crocodile, but Rose's arms were wearing out.
Paul was meanwhile trying to back back down the cliffside, and trying to reach Rose with his arm to give her a hand, but he couldn't quite reach.
Rose kept on kicking, and before she knew it, the beast had to release momentarily to reaffirm its grip; and when it did, all it got was a dirty white tennis shoe for all its efforts.
The release of pulling force almost shocked Rose and knocked her off balance, but she clung fast to the cliffside, and started to quickly scale the side with one bare foot. She finally got high enough to reach Paul's arm, and he pulled her all the way to the top.
They sat on the grass above for a moment, gasping for breath.
"Yes.".
"What?!", said Paul, totally thrown.
"Yes. I would love to go out.".
"Oh,", he said, realizing what she meant. "Sure thing, baby. You know Rose? You're not a half bad doll,", he said, starting to smile.
Their smiles turned into laughter after a few seconds, and they were lying in the grass, laughing almost uncontrollably for no apparent reason, as people tend to do when they evade danger miraculously.
All of a sudden, there was a bright flash of light.