Hi all. I'm finally back and posting the next chapter. As some of you might know, since my last chapter a lot of personal stuff has happened to me. I got fired from my job and it turned my life upside down. Thankfully, I've started to piece my life back together and I'm in a good place now. Anyhoo, the story is back on track. I made many re-writes on this chapter until I was finally satisfied. I want to post frequently now. Fingers crossed I can do that.

I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Everything changed on that day. Thinking of that horrid, selfish leech made my blood boil. How could I have been so stupid? I may have achieved a hollow victory against Jacob and Bella but it had cost me my self-respect. There was no way that was happening again. I had managed to successfully avoid the Cullen House of Horrors for a few weeks until mom forced me to pick Seth up when he went to play football.

Seth was talking with Edward in the garden before he spotted me. He beckoned me over and I had no choice but to go over to them. I really didn't want to intrude on the bromance and reluctantly made my way.

Even from a distance I could see Edward's expression changing. He was capable of being cold, I'd experienced that myself, but this was something else all together. There was a sub-zero temperature frostiness emanating from every inch of his body. The cold mask was fitting into place. How dare he act so angry? I was the one who had been treated like a piece of trash. I stormed over, fuming each step of the way.

Seth looked happy to see me until I got closer and he saw how mad I was. Then, he seemed to go several shades paler and gulped audibly.

"Hey Seth," I said, as calmly as I could manage.

"Hey, Leah," he said nervously, cogs whirring in his brain trying to decipher my furious look.

I turned to the leech. "Hello, Edward," You utter lowlife scumbag, I yelled in my head.

"Hello, Leah." He said in a velvet smooth voice that didn't disguise the coldness. "I hope you and your family are well?"

"Oh, they're doing just fine. We're all fine," I said, through gritted teeth. You smarmy bastard. Oh, and by the way did you know you're crap in bed?

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that," his lips were a thin red line and his jaw was firmly clenched. He was clearly incandescent with rage underneath that impenetrable mask. I cackled with glee inside my head. I couldn't stop myself from twisting the knife further in his gut.

"How's the family? I think I saw Bella coming out the cottage just now. Such a beautiful little home you've got there," I was admiring the décor while we were doing it. Bella probably does that too.

Edward bristled with anger. "Well, I can't take credit for that. The cottage was designed by Esme. She has the good taste that I unfortunately lack."

Huh? Was that a dig at me? I scowled at him just to be on the safe side before turning to Seth.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked him.

"Yup – oh, wait, there was that CD you were going to lend me?" he addressed Edward, pretending not to feel the awkward tension.

"Oh, of course. Um…it's inside my room on the middle shelf. Do you mind going to get it?" he asked.

"Sure, no problem," Seth half walked, half ran to the Cullen house, probably eager to escape the weird atmosphere my presence had brought. The kid wasn't dumb. Only when he was out of earshot did the conversation resume.

"You're going to take Seth and not come back here ever again," Edward hissed at me. "This is the last time I'm going to see you."

"Haven't you got the decency to apologise first? I thought you were a gentleman from another era. You treated me like shit. You threw my clothes at me," I hissed back indignantly, still bruised by the memory of it.

He flinched at my words. He didn't like being reminded of his less than chivalrous behaviour. "I'm sorry. I gave into temptation and that was a big mistake. It cannot and will not happen again."

"I'm not a mistake, you douchebag."

"You're not a mistake but it was a mistake," he clarified.

"I know, I was there." I muttered sarcastically. "And you don't have to tell me to go away. Do you think I would come crawling back to you? I have something called self-respect and I intend to use it. That means getting the hell away from you."

"Well, I'm not stopping you. Go on your way, Leah." he turned on his heel and headed towards the house.

All those weeks spent brooding over what had happened should have been enough to convince me that I had been nothing but a fool. But now I realised that I had been fooling myself all along. The anger and pain was from his brutal rejection but that didn't stop me from wanting him.

I took comfort from remembering the softness of his hair, the curve of his jaw, the taste of his lips… even when I hated him. You can't hate someone you don't care about. If this was all meaningless I wouldn't even bother but I did care. I cared an awful lot.

Edward turned around suddenly and looked at me in surprise. The realisation of my feelings was being heard. Oh shit.

"Do I have to wear a tinfoil hat around you? Cut it out." I grumbled, knowing my words had come too late.

"You…care about me?" he uttered the words with a sense of wonder. For a moment all his pretensions fell away and I saw that he wasn't angry or full of regret. He scratched the back of his head, an air of confusion and amazement colouring his features. He was almost smiling…

"I never said that," I snapped back. Hearing it from inside my head was humiliating enough. "And you said you never wanted to see me again, remember?"

"What I want and what I need seem to be two very different things." He seemed amused by his words but I didn't quite get the joke.

I looked at him quizzically. "What's that supposed to mean? You tell me you don't want to see me again…and yet you need to see me again? That doesn't sound too complimentary from where I'm standing."

"But it's the truth." He said, simply.

And then it dawned upon me. I needed Edward as much as he needed me. We sought comfort in each other. For all our healing wounds, our insecurities and fears, we had to be together. Nothing and no one else would do. My heart beat wildly at such a thought.

"So what do we do now?" I could see Seth approaching, tucking a CD into the back pocket of his jeans.

Edward gaze switched from Seth to me and the dreaded mask returned, his resolve changing before my very eyes. "Nothing. We can't do this."

"What?" I exclaimed incredulously. Damn it, Edward, stop losing your nerve every five seconds.

"This is a lot harder for me, Leah. Please appreciate that at least." He said flatly.

"Fine. We can't do this," I repeated, dully.

Seth joined my side as we both walked away. I walked at a brisk pace, desperate to get out of there and before Edward could hear the rest of my thoughts. It was really just one thought.

Disappointment.

***

The days and weeks had turned into a monotonous sludge of everyday living since Edward and I had last parted. For a while I turned into a moping sad sack that refused to get out of bed after long nights of staying in my wolf form but that didn't last long when mom noticed my behaviour.

She would pull the curtains open and hustle me out of bed. She had a cunning plan to involve me in every household chore and soon I was scrubbing dishes, doing the laundry, ironing clothes – I never touched Charlie's clothes though, just the thought of touching his underwear made me heave. I was slowly losing my mind and decided a long walk through some mountainous landscape would bring back some of my misplaced sanity.

My new 'need to be alone' place was the lake which lay at the foot of the mountains. There was an eerie calm to the lake, like it was hiding a dark secret underneath its murky waters. I threw a flat stone into the water which fell straight in with a large splash.

I wondered how deep the lake was. I wanted to dive down into the moss green waters and never re-emerge, just sink to the bottom like lead. My eyes glazed over at the thought as I imagined it. I felt like the last person on earth sitting here.

I rubbed my thumb over the pebble I held in my hand. It felt smooth and cold. An unfortunate reminder of someone I wanted to forget. I threw it at an angle and watched it dance gracefully over the surface, creating delicate ripples before finally dipping under the water.

The grace of its movement was another unpleasant reminder of a person I wanted to forget. The last conversation I'd had with him was still ringing in my ears. It seemed to get louder like an alarm bell the more I tried to ignore it.

I felt like I had been dumped and it hurt that he knew my real feelings before said dumping. It just wasn't fair. I didn't appreciate having my thoughts plucked out of my brain like that. It was an unfair advantage. I knew that he was wrestling with complicated emotions – I naively used to think bloodsuckers weren't capable of being so complex – but that slight wavering of his resolve had given me hope.

If he could just let himself go, I wasn't asking for a lifetime or even a year - which would surely be a meaningless amount of time to him – I just wanted him for as long as necessary. This wasn't a case of ownership, this was more like borrowing. I just wanted to borrow his time and company for a little while. How could I convince him to see things my way?

I could sit here moping for the rest of eternity skimming stones or I could get off my ass for one last conversation. I knew which option it had to be. I felt inside my pockets for my collection of pebbles. The stones clattered to the ground as they fell but I didn't notice. My attention was diverted by a flash of colour on the side of mountain.

My keen eyesight could differentiate the subtle hues against the wooden backdrop easily. It was a blur of copper that glinted briefly in the sunlight before vanishing into the trees. Could it be…? Nerves jangled in my stomach as I thought of him being near. He could only be here if he was hunting. I wanted to run to him but one thought stopped me in my tracks.

Bella.

But maybe…just maybe he was here alone. I'd seen in Jacob's thoughts a brief snatch of her hunting with the demon spawn and Jacob tagging along for the ride. I could follow his trail at least and then shoot off if I picked up Bella's scent. Yep, that sounded like a good plan.

***

A sweet scent hung in the wind which I managed to pick up pretty quick. I ran through the forest but it wasn't easy in my human form, I had to jog to a slower pace and take a break to catch my breath every now and then. I was in the thick of the forest, walking slowly as the midday sun filtered in between the canopy of leaves.

That's when it hit me.

I took another step but hovered as I was overcome by a heavy thick scent that penetrated the air. It unlocked my primitive senses, arousing the wolf in me. I was repulsed by my reaction; humans don't usually salivate when they smell a fresh animal carcass but I just couldn't help myself. I was as predictable as one of Pavlov's dogs.

The picture was already in my mind; the animal was a deer and it lay with its neck cut and exposed. Don't run for it, Leah, this isn't your dinner, I told myself angrily. I had spent too much of my spare time lingering as a wolf and my impulses had blurred between my two forms. That would teach me for trying to get away from being human.

The air became more saturated with the smell of the kill; faintly metallic and salty, I picked up the pace until I saw it. The dead deer lay there like an animal version of CSI: Forks and I wondered who had killed it.

The lesion on the neck was small and precise. A little congealed blood matted the fur around it but the corpse looked drained. A sweet smell accompanied it. I looked around for the person responsible when the leaves rustled and a gust of wind blew right past me. I blinked at the figure who had appeared in front of me.

He looked relieved to see me. "I saw you at the lake. I had to find you. Last time we spoke…" his forehead creased with anxiety. "I was a jerk –"

"Don't take all the blame, Edward. I was a jerk too. At least credit me with that." I grinned sheepishly at him.

He grinned back at me. "Maybe we can forgive and forget?"

I held out my hand to shake to his. "We'll call a truce. We're both jerks."

He considered my words before shaking my hand. "We should form a self-help group. To…you know, help with the whole not-being-a-jerk thing."

We were at arm's length from one another and our clasped hands hung in the space between us, both reluctant to let go. The coldness of his hand didn't bother me but I still shivered slightly at his touch.

"We are eventually going to have to let go, Leah." he said, jokingly.

"Not yet," I whispered, gripping my fingers tightly over his palm. This may be a joke to Edward but I seriously meant it.

He used his other hand to gently pry my fingers away. I didn't make any effort to resist. Evidently, I was battling a lost cause. "So this is it from now on? We exchange a few words and then carry on like nothing ever happened?" I sighed, expecting what his answer would be.

Edward edged closer to me and pulled me into a hug. I was not expecting this. I wrapped my arms around him while he rested his chin on the top of my head. "I don't want to hurt you, Leah…"

That sounded more like the answer I expected. I sighed again and held onto him, the last glimmer of hope slipping away from me. He didn't want me. Just like everyone else.

"…then don't let me go," I muttered uselessly into his shoulder. Tears sprung to my eyes and threatened to spill onto my cheek. I refused to blink, holding them in my eyes, blurring my vision until the forest looked like it had been submerged under water. The colour of moss green swam in front of me. So this is what it felt like to drown in the lake by the mountains. A fresh kind of pain seared my insides.

Edward pulled me away from him gently to look me in the eyes but I refused to meet his gaze. I didn't want him to see how much this was hurting me. The tears rolled down my cheeks with a single blink. He tenderly wiped them away and held my face in his hands forcing me to look directly into his honey coloured eyes.

"I need you, Leah. As much as I try to lie to myself and as much as I try to deny it, there's a part of me that wants it just as badly as you do. Are you happy to accept half of me? Half a person? Half a piece of happiness?"

I cleared my throat before speaking. I hated sounding like a cry-baby even though that's precisely what I was. "My hands are pretty empty when it comes to happiness, so I'll take anything I can get." I joked weakly. "This won't last forever, I know that and if either of us wants out we'll call it quits, but I want to be with you…please?"

He chuckled softly, "as if you needed to ask."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. The trail of tears had run down my mouth and I probably tasted like salt but he didn't seem to mind. His hands were as cold as the water in the lake but it didn't feel like I was drowning anymore. I was floating to the surface...

He had rescued me.

Well, Leah is getting her wish. How will the rocky relationship fare in next chapter? Stay tuned…

(I re-submitted this chapter to get rid of the glaringly hideous misspellings)