As I sat in my room, trying to concentrate on reading my novel, I couldn't help but think about Jasper's proposal. I wanted to go with him, I mean, I still do. I just — I just don't understand him, sometimes. His eyes — his stares — his bipolar tendencies. There is something off about him that I cannot put my finger on. My heart wants to go all the way with him, but my head is screaming "danger". How can you decide on anything when both halves of your mind are on different sides? I don't know.
I was not looking forward to Saturday, since Bella wants to go to La Push with her friends and Charlie wants me to accompany her. Well, I believe I know it will be cold, and being around the water will make it worse. I hate the cold, mostly because I get cold easily. It could be sixty degrees Fahrenheit, but it would feel like thirty degrees Fahrenheit. I am very contradicting since I love when it is raining or snowing, but I hate when it is cold.
Bella, on the other hand, had her own reasons for not wanting the weekend to come, which had nothing to do with the cold. Actually, she is happy that it is going to be hotter than normal, even if it's going to be sixty at the maximum. I don't know the exact reasons behind Bella's sadness, but I think it has something to do with Edward.
Friday came faster than usual, and Bella actually had a smile on her face since the sun was sort of out today. I am still shaking in my boots, even though it is sixty-five degrees outside then the usual thirty. I mean I like that it is less cold, but it is still cold.
When we walked into the cafeteria, I notice Bella looking over at the Cullen's table, and her face turned unhappy. The reason for this is pretty obvious, as I glanced over to the Cullen's table to see Rosalie, Alice, Jasper sat talking, heads close together. Edward is not at school today. No wonder she has been feeling down.
At our usual table, everyone was full of our plans for the next day. Mike was animated again, putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman, who promised sun tomorrow. I'd have to see it to believe it.
At one point during Lunch, I was left alone with Lauren, another friend of Jessica and Angela. I guess they assumed that I would not understand being deaf in all, because they were talking about me. Lauren said to Mike, "Look… dumb deaf girl over there. She… forced on us, and we… punished… you noticed… teachers speak… slower… special needs girl… dumb to understand anything." They probably don't realize that I can read lips. It's exhausting and difficult, but I can do it. Before Matt could answer back, I stood up to find where Bella was, so we could get to Biology. During these times, I remember why I hate hearing schools.
That night at dinner, dad seemed unusually enthusiastic about our trip to la push, tomorrow. Of course, he knew all the names of the kids going, and their parents, and their grand-parents. He seemed to approve. I wonder if he would approve of me going to the dance with Jasper Hale. Not that I was going to get the courage to tell him.
'Dad, do you know a place called Goat Rocks or something like that? I think it's south of Mount Rainier,' Bella said casually.
"Yeah — why?" Dad asked.
She shrugged. 'Some kids were talking about camping there.'
"It's not a very good place for camping." He looked surprised. "Too many bears. Most people go there during the hunting season."
'Oh,' Bella murmured. 'Maybe I got the name wrong.'
I meant to sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me. I opened my eyes to see a clear yellow light streaming through my window. I couldn't believe it. I hurried to the window to check, and sure enough, there was the sun. It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low, and it didn't seem to be as closes it should be, but it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon, but a large patch of blue was visible in the middle. I lingered by the window as long as I could before Bella pulled me away from the window to get dressed for the day in my usual grey cardigan, simple white dress that just passes my butt, black stockings, and brown combat boots.
When I finished getting dressed, Bella drove us to a building with a sign that read, The Newtons' Olympic Outfitters, just north of town. In the parking lot, I recognized Mike's suburban and Tyler's Sentra. As Bella parked in the parking lot, I could see the group standing in front of the suburban. Eric was there, along with two other boys I believe were named Ben and Conner. Jess was there, flanked by Angela, Lauren, and three other girls. One of the girls were giving Bella a dirty look as we got out of the truck and whispered something to Lauren. Lauren shook out her silky hair and eyed both of us scornfully.
At least Mike was happy to see us.
"You both came!" he said, delighted. "And I said it would be sunny today, didn't I? We are just waiting for lee and Samantha… unless you invited someone."
I shook my head, while Bella said, 'No.' Clearly, lying through her teeth, but no one else seemed to notice.
Before we left, two more girls showed up and every sit in the two vehicles were filled up to the brink of exploding. Unfortunately, I got stuck in the very back of the suburban lodged between two people. To make my position more comfortable, I made myself as small as possible by bringing my legs up against my chest and forming a human ball. Even though I am not claustrophobic, I feel like it with nine people stuffed in the suburban.
It was only fifteen miles to la push from Forks, with gorgeous, dense green forests edging the road most of the way and the wide Quillayute River snaking beneath it twice. It was breathtaking. The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white capped and heaving to the gray, rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, souring firs. The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grew into millions of large, smooth stones that looked uniformly gray from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be: terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blue gray, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves.
We picked out way down to the beach, mike leading the way to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like ours before. There was a fire circle already in place, filled with black ashes. Eric and the boy I thought was named Ben gathered broken branches of driftwood from the drier piles against the forest edge, and soon had a teepee-shaped construction built atop the old cinders.
As I sat on one of the bone-colored benches, Mike come up to Bella and I and asked, "Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" mike kneeled by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter and dropping it carefully against the teepee.
"You'll like this then — watch the colors." He lit another branch and laid it alongside the first. The flames started to lick quickly up the dry wood, and the fire was blue. Super cool.
"The salt does it. Pretty, isn't it?" He lit no more piece, placed it where the fire hadn't yet caught, and then came to sit next to Bella. However, Jess was on his other side and claimed his attention. I sat there watching the green and blue flames crackle toward the sky.
After a while of people chattering with their friends or watching the fire like I was, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools. I really wanted to go, but I knew that I would stick by Bella's decision. I was happy, when Bella started walking toward the pro-hiking group. Mike gave us a huge smile, but I could tell it was mostly directed toward Bella. He makes it so obvious of his attraction toward my sister. Does he not understand that my sister does not like him?
I stayed by Bella as we followed the group through the woods. As Bella tried to avoid falling down or having a clumsy moment, we soon started to fall behind. Though eventually, we broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was a low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained were teeming with life.
Unlike the others who were leaping over the rocks and perching precariously on the edges, Bella was very cautious around the pools. As I saw Bella sat on the edge of one of the largest pools, I became spellbound by the natural aquarium below me. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish struck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return.
Getting bored of the people, I leave Bella and wonder into the forest to investigate this mysterious greenery I have never encountered before. As I walked deeper into the woods, the glowing light of the sun disappeared behind the green leaved covered branches on top of the trees. For some time, I kept walking and enjoying the scenery around me, until I realized I have gotten lost.
I spun around in a circle trying to find the others, but I must have wondered too far. I started to freak out, but then I saw a black hair and copper-skinned boy around my age walk up to me with a confused face. I waved hi, then he started speaking, "What are you doing this deep in the woods?" I smiled, because I could understand his lips. I can lipread, but most people talk to fast to understand.
I pointed to myself and wrote the word lost in the air with my finger to tell him I am lost. He confirmed, "You're lost?" I nodded my head then he continued, "Well then, follow me. I will take you to the beach, where my friends are." I nodded my head again and followed him.
As we made are way back to the beach, the boy tied to make small talk with me, but it was mostly one sided. He started by saying, "My name is Seth. What's your name?" I spelled my name in the air like I did before, which he seemed to understand just fine. He spent a lot of the time talking about his life and La Push, not expecting much input from me which I liked.
We finally got to the beach and I could see Seth's friends and the people from school were eating food Mike and Tyler brought along on the trip. The group we'd left behind had multiplied.
Seth asked, "Why don't you speak?" I stopped and faced him, but before I could answer him, my sister came up to me with Jacob.
Bella asked, 'Where were you?'
I responded, 'I walked into the forest, and I got lost. But Seth found me and helped me get back.' Bella nodded.
She turned toward Jacob and asked, 'What did Sam mean before about when he said "the Cullens don't come here"?'
Jacob started biting his lip worriedly, but said, "I'm not supposed to say anything, but do you like scary stories."
'I love them.' Bella enthused, while trying to smolder him. Great job Bella, flirting to get information.
Jacob strolled to a nearby driftwood tree that had its roots sticking out like the attenuated legs of a huge, pale spider. He perched lightly on one of the twisted roots while Bella sat beneath him on the body of the tree. Seth and I stood in front of them, waiting for him to start this scary story. I could see he was trying to make this good by the smile hovering around the edge of his broad lips.
"Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the flood — supposedly, the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark. Another one claims that we descend from wolves, and the wolves are our brothers still, which is why it is against tribal law to kill them. Then there are the stories about the cold ones that are as old as the wolf legends, and some much more recent.
According to legend, my own great grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who created the treaty to keep them off our lands. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of wolf —well, the wolves that turned into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves. The cold ones are traditionally our enemies, but this pack that came to our territory were different. They did not hunt the way others of their kind did, so they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. The treaty said that if they would stay off our land, we would not expose them to the pale-faces."
Bella looked confused, so she asked, 'If they weren't dangerous, then why…?' I just know she believes these stories are true, but it wouldn't be a stretch to what I have witnesses from Jasper and Edward.
"There's always a risk for humans to be around the cold ones, even if they are civilized like this clan was. They claim they don't hunt humans. They supposedly were somehow able to prey on animals instead. You never know when they might get too hungry to resist."
'So, what does this have to do with the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your great-grandfather met?'
"No," he paused dramatically. "They are the same ones."
He must have thought the expression on my face was fear inspired by his story. He smiled, pleased, and continued.
"There are more of them now, a new female and a new male, but the rest are the same. In my great-grandfathers time, they already knew of the leader, Carlisle." He was fighting a smile.
'And what are they?' Bella finally asked. 'What are the cold ones?'
"Blood drinkers, but your people call them vampires." Right when he said that everything made sense about Jasper and his family. The eyes, the speed, the skin, the strength. Everything pointed toward Vampire. No wonder he acted different than the other hearing boys.
Before we went home, I sat on a falling tree truck and stared out into the blue ocean. I love watching the ocean, because it represents a serene but powerful thing that makes up most of the earth. The force a wave creates in the water as it pushes and pulls against the shore like a game of tug a war. How the powerful force of the water forms a soothing rhythm like a lullaby.
These are the times I enjoy being deaf. I know if I turn to look behind me, people are running around laughing and screaming. A hearing person would be annoyed or distracted by the loud noises, but I can enjoy the silence. No sound or distractions can interfere in me escaping this beautiful universe, that they would never notice or appreciate. If I could, I would stay here watching the ocean forever, but no one ever really gets what they want.
After a while of watching the waves charging onto the sand, Bella crouched in front of me and said, 'We're packing up — it looks like it's going to rain soon.'
'Okay' I jumped up. 'I'm coming.'
I followed the group of teenagers across the rocks toward the parking lot. A few drops were beginning to fall, making black spots on the stones where they landed. When we got to the Suburban the others were already loading everything back in. This time Bella sat next to me in the vehicle, so we talked on our way back to Forks.