Sirius Black's Journal
Day 27
I feel the need to clear up a small misconception at this point. I do NOT have to eat rats! In fact there is a wonderful buffet of things I could crunch on in here, worms, snakes, a variety of biting insects, and believe it or not, I could eat the foods they serve us here. Yes ladies and gentlemen to prove that the wizarding society is not barbaric, we will feed our prisoners well, we even have a fucking tea on Sundays (I think it's Sunday anyway) after all, sucking our souls out slowly for the rest of our lives is one thing, but to not have tea at least once a week, well that's just cruel and unusual. NO, I don't have to rip the heads off those scruffy little beasts and chew them toughly (24 times a bite) I choose to, I relish it, yep that's me Sirius Black, the heartless killer of rats.
Day 28
Man this sucks! Today I had a great thought, why don't they just let me out long enough to really kill Peter? While I would still disagree that it was truly a crime, I would at least have the satisfaction of knowing I really did do something. Plus then I wouldn't have to worry about Harry, I could go comfortably mad like all the other prisoners here. Did I mention this sucks?
Day 29
I FOUND HIM! That little rat, well actually he's more a big rat, but needless to say I found out where the shifty-eyed fiend is hiding. He's a pet! Hahahaha! A little boy's precious pet (I hope they didn't pay too much for him) I heard the minister ask Arthur Weasley (who won't look at me) how Percy liked his new rat. He said they got along quite well and you'd never know it was missing a toe. Now you ask how I can be sure it's Peter. Well go on ask me… fine be that way but I'm still going to tell you, so ha! It's his smell; anyone who had touched Peter in the last ten days would leave a smell pungent enough for me. I found Peter! I found Peter! Well, you could at least pretend to care. Fine, I'm going to talk to the other walls then.
Day 30
I have been contemplating various ways I could kill Peter. Not that this is anything new. I've been thinking about that since I showed up at Godric's Hollow, but now that I know where Peter is, I can pretend it's worthwhile. It has occurred to me that killing the little beast could be more difficult than I'd originally considered. I keep forgetting about the fact that they broke my wand. So, I'd have to kill like a muggle. Now how the hell do muggles kill? Man, I really regret having told my old Muggle Studies professor that I'd never be able to use anything she taught me in the real world. If I'd have paid attention to even one of those stupid muggle wars, I'd have an idea of what to do. All I can really remember is something about bows and arrows. But without magic, doesn't that mean I'd actually have to be able to aim it? Last time I played with one of those things, I almost shot Regulus. (I swear it was an accident! He voluntarily put that apple on his head and had me tie him to the tree!) Anyway… I'll have to work something out… Oh, yeah. And there's still that little problem that I'm stuck in here…
Day 31
Not much to say. Barty Jr. died. I watched the funeral from my window. I tried to feel sad, but I never liked the slimy git. Reminded me too much of Lucius with even less personality (sad to think that's possible). I heard him crying a couple of nights ago. Man, what a wimp. Sounded like a girl. Anyway, they buried him outside. I'm surprised they didn't just throw him into the water. Seems like people die daily here. This place must be one big cemetery. I wonder why I never see any ghosts.
Author's Note: Well, here you go. Another chapter. Why you bother reading this is beyond us, but since you seem to like torturing yourself with this fiction, we request that you at least drop us a review. It's hard work getting these trained cockroaches to sneak this journal out bit by bit, type it onto the computer and even occasionally edit it. (Although this chapter may be poorly edited... the only cockroach smart enough to spell died unexpectedly when the exterminators came through Azkaban last week.) Anyway, this hard work could, we hope, at least earn us a few reviews now and then. So thanks in advance.
The next chapter will come as soon as we train a new editor...
Until then!