Despite Everything
Rufus, adorned in a dark grey hooded coat, jeans and boots, stepped onto the threshold of Seventh Heaven. The black car that had dropped him off sped away into the distance. He gave a knock at the front door and Tifa came to greet him. It was weird seeing Rufus out of an expensive suit. He looked... ordinary.
They set off straight away. Rufus wasn't one to kill time. First, they walked down the street the bar was on. It was largely quiet although they could hear grinding, machine groaning and shouts characteristic of construction work in the distance.
A few doors down a young boy sat on the front step of his house hugging a chocobo stuffed toy. He was staring into the distance. When he spotted them walking past he smiled at Tifa; he recognised her as a neighbour. Yet when he noticed the hooded man walking next to her his smile faded and a worried look took over his face. After a few more moments of watching them he stood up headed inside.
By this point Rufus and Tifa hadn't exchanged many words. Tifa paused walking and Rufus followed suit.
"Do you need to wear your hood up, Rufus?" Tifa asked gently.
"Without this outfit I will be recognised. I still get a lot of harassment from resentful people." His tone was tart and it took Tifa off guard. The last time she had heard him talk like that to her was before Meteor when they were enemies.
"Okay, Rufus. If it makes you feel safe. But you won't make many friends with a hood up, you know. You'll just make people uneasy."
His blue eyes stood out underneath his hood, making her notice their colour fully for the first time. They didn't poses a mako-glimmer like Cloud's eyes, instead they were a sapphire blue. They were unwaveringly focused on her and she felt they possessed a steeliness.
"I'm not here to make friends" he said.
She wanted to ask why he had agreed for her to show him around then, but she kept the question to herself. She led him down an alley, heading eastwards.
Tifa halted them when they reached her first intended stop. She gestured at a medium-sized house, recently built, that had a large red cross painted above its front door. Outside were a couple of people sleeping, wrapped in drab blankets. One man had an eye bandage. It was dirty. Another was a woman and underneath her blanket they could see an arm sling was holding up her right arm. Tifa figured they must have run out of beds inside.
"A hospital," Rufus observed.
"A first aid hospital," she corrected. "It's run by volunteers. All first aiders."
Rufus's eyebrows raised. His face was obscured by the hood but not enough that she couldn't see his facial expressions. "There are already a couple of hospitals in the city and they're well-manned by doctors and other medical professionals. Why would people come here?" There was incredulousness in his voice.
"There are hospitals, but not everyone can afford treatment. Things are getting better for most people since Meteor, but a minority still don't have anything to offer in return for medical help. You can get treated here for free."
"First aiders know nothing compared to doctors. If you are sick you might as well stay at home."
Tifa didn't disagree. Rufus watched her and waited for a reply.
Eventually she said, "I suppose those who come here feel it's better than dying where their loved can see, or on the street, or just alone."
Rufus looked back towards the building. "Surely these people that are so poor can borrow money or find a way to earn some? There are always more jobs in construction and the WRO army will be clamouring for new recruits for some time. What's more, I see homeless people begging for money all the time; if people aren't saving their money for medical treatment and food and they need to it's their own fault."
Tifa sighed. "But not just anyone can take up such physically demanding jobs, Rufus. And what if you lack the skills to meet the minimum requirements? Or you're already sick? Or something awful has happened to you, like being robbed?"
Rufus positioned his right hand on his right hip and shifted his weight rightwards. "I'm all for ensuring the betterment of Edge, Tifa, but I don't believe we should expect the weakest to pull through. There are always weaklings that die off in a crisis. If you can't find strength like you have, I have and others have despite the circumstances perhaps you are just not meant to survive. It's naïve to hope everyone can survive, even if it is noble."
Tifa didn't say anything in reply. She gestured for him to continue following her and they began walking southwards.
Rufus sighed under his hood. He knew the point of this tour was for him to be enlightened in some way; there were things she wanted him to see and know. He supposed that her view was that everyone should be given hope. Perhaps that Shinra should support greater financial aid for the poorest and free healthcare for all. He scoffed at this in his mind. There was only so much Shinra could do. It was still a business and giving handouts to the very weak didn't appeal to him. He wanted to focus on strengthening society which meant cultivating those with the most potential and the strong. As far as he was concerned the weak needed to prove themselves if they did not want to be left behind.
Next they stopped by a school. Rufus figured she might show him dire conditions in a particular classroom or something along those lines. But she surprised him by saying, "the school system in Edge is really improving. I heard the other day that all children of six years-old or older are now in school, even orphans." She smiled a very genuine smile.
Shinra had awarded grants and provided man-power to build some of the newer schools. He felt good hearing that it had been working.
She led him round the back of the school. There they saw a makeshift playground. Children on recess were playing on a very large climbing frame that looked like it had been constructed by amateur hands. It was stable and secure looking though, and dozens children climbed over, under and through it with limitless energy.
Rufus wasn't a big fan of children yet he could appreciate that this scene probably brought joy to Tifa. He was astute enough to figure she might be thinking of Denzel and Marlene at that moment...
"Look beyond the playground."
Rufus looked. He saw baron ground. Lots of it. They were nearing the edge of the city and so there were fewer buildings and more expansive open spaces. "Lots of open space…"
"Excuse me."
Tifa and Rufus both jumped. They turned to see a middle-aged woman. She had called out to them from behind. She came closer. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm a parent of one of those rascals playing there. I was watching over him from the bench just behind us. You didn't notice me sitting there but I couldn't help overhearing you two."
Rufus placed a hand on his hood and pulled it firmly into place; his face was now fully obscured by shadow. The woman noticed him do this and it unsettled her.
"Don't mind him. He has some scarring he doesn't like people to see, that's all."
Rufus admired Tifa's quick thinking, producing a plausible white lie on her feet like that.
"Oh. Well, I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining me in petitioning for development of that there land you were just speaking of." The woman went on to explain that her son's father had been an avid baseball player and currently there were no proper places for people to play the sport, or any sport in general, really.
"Funny you should say. I've thought that before!" Tifa and the woman entered into an energetic discussion. Rufus was able to ascertain that Tifa had visited this site once before. She had been inspired to come have a look after listening to a programme on the radio as she had cleaned down the bar one day. It had talked about the need to get more people, both adults and children, taking up hobbies like sport in order to improve their physical and mental wellbeing. It argued that getting more people doing activities they enjoy was the next stage in strengthening the citizens of Edge and helping to improve the general feeling around the otherwise mostly drab city. This particular site had been mentioned as a potentially great place to develop some sports grounds. Tifa always having been a naturally gifted athlete had listened with keen interest.
Rufus waited patiently for the two women to stop chatting. When Tifa realised Rufus hadn't said anything in a long time she politely ended the conversation with the woman and excused herself and Rufus, saying that they needed to get somewhere else before sunset. Tifa and Rufus set off again.
"Last stop," Tifa said with a cheerful tone and smile.
They had walked to the far East-end of Edge and reached an open area. About them were tables and chairs. Several meters away was a bar and behind it a man with stand-uppish red hair and a goatee. He was the only person currently present. He was well built and Rufus suspected that at one time he had been in the military or an athlete of some kind.
Rufus looked quizzically at Tifa. "A bar? What are you hoping I will see here?"
No sooner had Rufus spoken the barman had looked up and spotted them. He called, "Hey, Tifa! Long-time no see, heh. Welcome! Come sit down I'll give you and your friend a drink on the house."
It was Johnny, an old friend of Tifa's from Midgar. When he had heard Tifa had built a new bar and called it Seventh Heaven, homage to a bar of the same name that he had used to hang out in and she worked in back in Midgar, he had decided to set up his own bar across town. He rarely saw Tifa and he was always ecstatic when he did.
"Yes, long time no see," she called back. Then she turned her head to Rufus and winked at him. "Can't the President of Shinra Company enjoy a drink once in a while?"
Rufus suspected there was more to this final stop than kicking back and having a drink. Nonetheless, he followed her as she approached Johnny and sat down on a stool adjacent to her at the bar. Rufus removed his hood.
Johnny took in his facial features: his blue eyes with their sharp look and his blond sweeping hair. Also his erect posture and air of wealth despite his current attire. "Wait. Aren't you...?"
"Rufus, Rufus Shinra." Rufus offered his right hand out to Johnny. His voice was ultra-smooth and he was in full charming persona mode. Tifa had watched Rufus snap into this 'charming people persona' and with fascination. She had not seen him do it on the spot before. She could not help but notice the stark contrast between his usual dry self, who she had been talking to up until that point, and this public-facing self, now in front of her. A far cry from his tart looks and tone so far that day, his body language was now open and welcoming, his eyes were soft and warm and his smile was wide across his face, like when they had talked at the ball.
Johnny instinctively erected his posture, took Rufus's hand and shook it. He looked a little beside himself and there was a few seconds silence as he gathered his thoughts. He began grabbing for glasses under his counter.
"So, uh, what are you and Tifa hanging out for?" Johnny's confusion as to why they were hanging out was evident in his frown. He glanced between Rufus and Tifa.
Rufus's warm and charming people's smile continued to radiate onto Johnny. He cast a glance at Tifa.
She took the cue and said, "I was just giving Rufus a brief tour of the city. He hasn't seen much of the less affluent parts of Edge and nobody is a better guide than me..." she joked.
"Uh huh." Johnny was polishing their glasses with a dishcloth although he was fully focused on Tifa's words and rubbing the glasses on auto-pilot. Her words had not really solved the odd picture in front of him. Hadn't the old Seventh Heaven been a base of AVALANCHE? At least that was what he had heard through drunken conversations. And hadn't Tifa been a member of this group, trying to tear down Shinra? He remembered concretely at the least that she had mentioned to him and other customers several times in the old Seventh Heaven that she hated the Shinra Company.
"Tifa picked your bar as the finale to my tour. I trust there is something special about it." Rufus said, bringing Johnny back into the present.
"Oh. I'm sure it's nothing like the kinds of places you usually drink at," he said embarrassed.
Rufus asked for a whiskey on the rocks. Tifa took a soda. Tifa and Johnny started catching up with one another. Rufus gathered that Johnny and his wife were now expecting a child. He also told Tifa how Denzel had come into the bar just the other week, asking Reeve of the WRO if he could sign up to be a soldier. Tifa looked taken back.
"He did? He never said anything to me about it..." Her eyes had grown wide.
"I tried to discourage him, Tifa. Honest! Reeve made the decision there and then to stop children joining."
"Good on Reeve. But..." The worry hadn't left her face. Rufus could tell she really cared about the boy.
Rufus spoke up. "Sounds like a typical boy. Wanting to be like his father figure." Then he murmured, "or better..." He paused, then said at normal volume: "if he were born when you and I were born I am sure he would have aspired to be in SOLDIER."
Rufus had intended to be reassuring but Tifa's eyes downcast. Just hearing 'SOLDIER' sparked off all sorts of memories: the sight of her father bled to death on the ground, the last glance she had had of Zack before he had died, Aerith's lifeless body, her helping Cloud piece his broken mind together in the Lifestream...
She felt a hand on her arm. It was Rufus. He began to apologise. "I didn't mean to... bring up a tender subject." The look in his eyes was genuinely compassionate.
Tifa sighed and shrugged off her the bad memories that had surfaced. "You know... I actually don't think I have it in me to hate Shinra anymore, despite everything. I've learnt that it's important to look ahead no matter what now. Memories are just memories. Sometimes all they do is hold us back. I'm glad you're moving forward too, Rufus." Johnny had begun rearranging glasses on the shelves underneath the bar top in order to look busy. As he overheard her say this he cocked an eyebrow.
Rufus angled himself more towards her. "We both have sins. I am sorry you got caught up in mine...and my company's."
Tifa picked up her glass of soda and rotated it in her hands so that the ice dizzied in circles. Then she chuckled. "Hey, remember that time you placed me and Barrett in a gas chamber." Her tone was light, her smile warm, although her eyes were entrenched with feeling, reaching back at memories stained with fear and a sense of helplessness.
Rufus chuckled too and straightened in his seat. "Not my most compassionate moment." His eyes were also deep now and reaching back at memories; memories he was now ashamed of. "And how about that time we fought in the HQ. That must of have been the first time we met, you, me, Cloud and the others in your group. You all gave me hell, from first meeting to the end. I still have the scars from that fight."
Rufus pointed to his belly button and drew a line in the air up and round to his lowest rib, indicating where he had a large scar.
Tifa laughed. "I'm not going to lie, it sure felt good taking my anger out on you with my bare fists." The satisfaction of seeing Rufus's father impaled with a sword also that day came to mind. But she didn't bring it up. She had never understood what kind of a relationship Rufus and his father had had and while she was suspicious it had not all been happy families, she didn't want to upset Rufus by revealing her acute hatred for his father.
Johnny interjected their conversation and addressed Rufus. "You know back in Midgar I once heard a rumour that you were a major contributor to AVALANCHE's funds? Is that true?"
Tifa was surprised at this speculation. Rufus support AVALANCE? She doubted that it could be true.
"Actually, yes." Rufus answered. Tifa couldn't believe it. She looked at him incredulously as he continued, "the original AVALANCHE, anyway."
"So... wait. You were always on our side?" Tifa asked flabbergasted.
Rufus looked above and beyond the cabinets that marked the perimeter of the bar and high into the sky. "No. I was doing it for selfish reasons. I wanted to overthrow my father. Funding a terrorist group who wanted to take him out and destroy the company seemed like the perfect way to cause him trouble."
"Oh." The shine that had been gathering on Tifa's perception of Rufus faltered. "So AVALANCHE were... pawns to you. A way for you to get at your father." Her tone was level but her words teased out her mouth one by one, her voice tensioned.
Rufus surmised her emotions. "Yes," he admitted. He turned his eyes towards her and watched keenly for a change in her facial expression. This is me, Tifa. Laid out on the floor for you to see. Will you take it or leave it? He knew he had been a nasty, incredibly selfish boy for most of his life and for the longest time he had not even considered the bad effects his privileged yet abusive and sheltered upbringing had had on his character.
When she replied she spoke slowly and deliberately. "And what about now, Rufus? Are we still your pawns?"
Rufus held her gaze. The entrenched emotions he thought he had seen dancing in the depths of her eyes only minutes before had disappeared. Rufus's initial desire was to laugh. What would his executives- no, his father think of him now, caring about the opinion of an old enemy, a village girl who had for most of her life had been a complete nobody. Yet his conscious mind stamped out those deprecating thoughts straight away. Tifa was a hell of a lot better person than he had ever been and he knew it. Never mind all the value placing on prestige and wealth bullshit that he had been fed as a kid.
"I know how to lie. I cannot pretend that is not true, but I can tell you honestly that I am not lying to you now. I do genuinely want to atone for my sins. It is what keeps me going every day. Selfishly, I want to rid myself of the guilt that I feel weighing heavily my shoulders every morning when I wake. I want to prove that I and my company can be different. I want to prove… that I am not a victim of the upbringing my father gave me. I am my own person and I have a choice to atone."
He realised had spoken so much about himself, and he felt like a fountain had burst forth his mouth. He pursed his lips tight. He felt exposed. No sooner had he felt this, he straightened his posture and remembered himself. It was fine. It was weird that he had opened himself up to her up so much but otherwise it was fine.
Tifa had listened attentively. Her guard was now lowered a little too. She suddenly said "I admire you, Rufus."
Rufus's eyes snapped wide. She admired him? "But how...? Why would you admire me?"
"You're trying your best. You're saddling not only your sins but those of Shinra. I can't imagine what that feels like."
Rufus was speechless. He wasn't sure he had ever been speechless before.
Tifa's words had flowed from her heart. She wasn't thinking about who she was saying them to or the background of it all. It was simply true, that's how she felt and what she saw now when she looked at Rufus.
Tifa's mobile phone rang, interrupting both their trains of thought. She flipped it open. It was Cloud saying that he was going to be early getting back and he would be early enough to swing by the school to pick up the kids. Tifa smiled. She could bet the children would be really excited to see Cloud at the gates and ride back with him on his bike.
After she hung up Rufus eyed her curiously. He was still taken back by her saying she admired him. Nonetheless he was able to absorb from eavesdropping that Cloud was evidently much more attentive to her and the kids now than when he and Cloud had last spoken, shortly before Sephiroth had re-appeared.
"Cloud's lucky to have you."
"Mmhmm. And I'm lucky to have him. Neither of us have anyone else."
"Forgive my curiosity but are you and Cloud legally the children's parents?"
Tifa blushed and spoke awkwardly. "No. See, I'm not sure if that would even be possible anyway with us not being married and all, and the government aren't keen on single people adopting."
"But you are together?"
Tifa's blush deepened. "No, no. We're friends. Really good friends." She sheepishly tidied a hair strand that had fallen into her face behind her left ear.
Huh, who would have thought it? And all this time I had assumed they were an item. All of a sudden he could not help seeing Tifa in a new light. But she was so pretty. Why hadn't Cloud made a move? He also could not help recalling an image of her in that stunning dress she had worn to his ball. At the bar he imagined that men climbed all over one another to flirt with her.
"Well, I better go. It's not that often we all get to spend time together as family."
And her eyes were so large and brown... and warm when they looked at him, despite everything.
"Sure. I'll walk back with you."
They thanked Johnny for the drinks and walked back to the bar together, exchanging small talk as they went. When they arrived at Seventh Heaven Tifa spotted that the door was slightly ajar; Cloud had already brought the children back.
"Well, this is me." Tifa smiled up at Rufus.
He reciprocated the smile. "I enjoyed today. Maybe we could talk again sometime. Although lighter topics next time, perhaps."
Tifa smiled again. "You know where I am Rufus if you ever want to talk."
She headed inside.
Rude and Reno emerged from behind a nearby street corner. Rufus hoped that they had kept out of earshot when he and Tifa had been talking at Johnny's bar. He had a connection with the Turks that was like family but they didn't share intimate thoughts and feelings with him or vice versa. Rufus and Reno escorted the president to a block over where a Shinra Company car was waiting for him. Reno jumped into the driver's seat, Rude took a seat by Rufus and they set course for Shinra's new HQ.
"Enjoy your little date, boss?" Reno said, waggling his eyebrows at him and smirking playfully.
"Actually, I did." Rufus replied in a matter of fact tone and straightened up his hair style in a mirror embedded in the side of the car.
Rude and Reno exchanged glances but didn't pursue it.