Kyle's POV

It's only a few days until the election for the school's new mascot. Posters now line the school's hallways, some supporting Giant Douche and others supporting turd sandwich. Cartman seems to be getting more and more help each day, but the only people working on the Giant Douche campaign are Wendy and me. I guess on the plus side, I've really enjoyed working with Wendy. She's really smart, and beautiful too. I think I like her, but she is Stan's ex, so I keep these feelings to myself.

I have confidence that Wendy and I can win this thing and defeat Cartman's turd sandwich. We are, after all, the two smartest kids in school.

As I'm thinking all of this over, Wendy comes running up to me and gives me a hug. We've become really close friends since we've been working together. When she gives me a hug, I can feel my heart race again.

"Hey Kyle," Wendy smiles intently at me, "The assembly is in two days, we have to prepare our presentation for Giant Douche."

"Well, Wendy, I was thinking we could have you give a speech, explaining why our mascot is better," I tell her, "You're the best in the school at giving speeches."

"What should the main point of my speech be then?"

"Well, since you're a feminist," I begin, "We could explain how Giant Douche will bring gender equality to our school since douches are feminine objects. And you know, we can use it against turd sandwich by saying that turd sandwich is just typical frat boy humor."

"You know, I've never thought of it that way before, but you're right, Kyle," Wendy responds, "How insightful!"

Over the next few days, Wendy and I work on the fine points of her speech. I just hope we can put together a better presentation than Cartman.

The assembly is held in the gym as usual. Our presentation is first. I give Wendy a hug for good luck and take my seat in the bleachers. I admire her ability to get up in front of the whole school and talk about our candidate. She shows such passion in her support for Giant Douche.

After Wendy is done giving her speech she comes to the bleachers and takes her seat next to me, seeming happy to do so. Now is the part where I get nervous as it's time for fatass to give his presentation. I hope it's not very good.

To my unpleasant surprise, it is. Cartman has loud music playing as he comes out with cheerleaders and a person dressed as a turd sandwich. Turd sandwich takes the microphone.

"We've got spirit, yes we do, we are sandwiches filled with poo!"

The cheerleaders surround Cartman and cheer for him.

"Eric Cartman, he's our man, came up with the turd sandwich plan."

When they're done cheering, Cartman grabs Bebe and the two of them start making out. Every girl in the school except Wendy is going crazy for Cartman and the whole auditorium is cheering for him. I never thought this was possible. How can all the cheerleaders be swooning for Cartman? How can the whole school be loving him? I feel a sick feeling in my stomach. I glance over at Wendy and it looks like she's feeling the same way. Cartman takes the microphone now.

"A vote for turd sandwich is a vote for the most epic skewl in the world," he says.

Cartman's presentation wraps up in under two minutes, but the whole school loves it. Wendy and I exchange worried glances as everyone around us cheers loudly for Cartman and turd sandwich. The election is tomorrow and things aren't looking good for Giant Douche.