"Oi! Uncle Genma!"

Neji paid no heed to the uncouth savage who had just slammed open the teahouse door regardless of the "Closed" sign. The restaurant was practically empty now that most of the customers had finished their meals and settled their tabs. Pleasantly warmed from his tea and soup, he was anticipating the main dish, with tantalizing hints of its delectable aroma floating from the kitchen.

"Don't 'uncle' me, fish sticks," Genma said, bringing out a tray with a meal fit for a dragon warrior, who apparently liked soba and possibly spring onions. He set the bowl down without fanfare and acknowledged Neji's nod of thanks before turning back to the kitchen.

"Mean uncle! That's not my name!" The savage was very quick on his feet, as he was at the counter in two seconds flat, yelling for attention. "C'mon, have a heart, I'm starving!"

The shop owner shouted something, and the hooligan hollered something back, but Neji took no notice. The Terror of the Five Lands had ingested a mouthful of sustenance and all other earthly things faded to nothingness as he savoured.

The noodles.

The broth.

The herring.

There were no words, and Neji was very good with words, to describe the experience. It was simply- perfection.

"Oi."

The shining moment of rapture shattered and Neji was brought back to reality by a whiskered face pushing itself close up to his own.

"Ey, mister, why are you wearing a hood while indoors?" the owner of the face, which annoyed Neji just to look at it, was sitting across him now, apparently having done with his shouting match with the shop owner. The pest attempted to peer into the shadowy depths of the cloak concealing Neji's face.

"Naruto!" the owner berated, hauling up the offender by the ear, "Don't bother the customer!"

"I thought he was eating ramen!" Naruto whined, struggling, "Why do I need to wait two days for your ramen, Uncle Genma? Ichiraku's always has something ready."

"Ichiraku's is a ramen shop. This is not. If you want ramen, although I can't imagine why, you'll get ramen done right. Come back in two days."

"I don't understand! Wait, you're throwing me out in the rain?" the boy had no volume control. "You know I'm going to be the Hokage right? I'll remember this!"

Neji scoffed.

Naruto wrenched, painfully, out of the shopkeeper's grasp, and was right back in Neji's face. "You got something to say, huh, strange guy?"

"The Hokage is a great kung fu master and respected leader with a prestigious lineage of talent and power," Neji said. "You, on the other hand, are nothing. I've never heard anyone with a name like Fish Sticks becoming Hokage."

"That's not my name, dattebayo!" Naruto bellowed, jabbing a finger which Neji did not allow to touch him .

"Fish Sticks Dattebayo. It fits." Neji nodded. "You must learn to accept that we each walk a path of destiny, Fish Sticks. There are, of course, those who would deny you or impede your course, but these people are to be crushed underfoot and you must seize your fate from the very hands of the gods to establish supremacy. It is obvious, though, that you do not walk such a path, for I see much insecurity and lack of proper upbringing in your stance and features. You must learn to distinguish the signs that you are unexceptional, and once you accept this you may live out your life of mediocrity in relative contentment."

Neji could be quite talkative when relaxed and somewhat nourished.

Naruto's bright blue eyes hardened and his voice, already loud, raised several decibels higher.

"You just completely contradicted yourself 'ttebayo! And the name is Naruto, remember it!" he was worked up in a right good rage now. "If I believed your crap I'd have to crush YOU underfoot for belittling my dreams. And don't think I won't!"

"You are welcome to try."

"Hey now," the shop keeper said. They both looked at him. He shook his head. "Take it outside, unless you promise to shoulder the cost of any repairs to the shop."

They took it outside.

Thunder rumbled overhead and storm clouds shrouded the sky as the Terror of the Five Lands and one nondescript loudmouth faced off outside a teashop.

Naruto yelled something about never giving up, with much pointing and fist-pumping. Neji sank into an easy stance, and waited.

He got an odd feeling about the boy standing before him, but paid it no heed. He assessed in an instant his opponent's fighting prowess. It was lacking.

With a war cry, Naruto threw himself at the unmoving hooded figure.

Genma was busy boarding up the windows. The wind was picking up and he didn't want debris flying in. Glass was expensive to come by. Based on the sounds he could hear coming from outside, Naruto had been flung down for the fifth time, each time hitting the ground harder and faster.

"Stay down."

Neji was getting hungry again. He'd only just begun to enjoy his soba, which rivalled the taste of ambrosia in his mind, and this nitwit had taken up more time than he'd expected. His soup was getting cold, for heaven's sake.

"Won't!" Naruto, to his dubious credit, was a consistent loudmouth. His noise level had not decreased, although broken up now by harsh gasps and "oofs!" and yelps of pain. Bruised and bloody, he scrabbled on the ground to push his body up from where it lay.

"Accept your fate. There are many far stronger than you. I am one of those. You will never be Hokage."

Naruto staggered upright. Neji raised his eyebrows, although Naruto could not possibly see this through the shadows under the hood.

"If Tenten can become the Dragon Warrior, then I definitely can become Hokage." Naruto grit out, baring his teeth in a smile that was both a grimace and a challenge.

There was a clatter from inside the teashop and some cursing from the shop owner but the winds had grown too strong for Neji to hear what was said. The storm finally hit, and a gust of air blew back the hood from Neji's head, whipping his hair away from his face.

"Tenten, is it? I will show this Tenten what a true Dragon Warrior is made of," Neji told the bleeding boy. "I am the one destined to become Dragon Warrior. Remember my name, Naruto, it is Neji Hyuuga. I am the last thing you will see and hear."

Lightning flashed and sheets of rain fell. Neji launched his final attack.

One moment he had the defiant, battered face of a blue-eyed boy in his sight as rain pelted down. The next, there was a "Poof!" and a momentary smoke burst that did not hinder the Byakugan in the slightest, but Neji was sharply checked just as he was about to deliver a killing blow by the appearance before him of a blue-eyed, naked girl.

Seconds passed. Neji had one hand right before the girl's chest, palm open, mouth agape. He gawped as rainwater plastered flaxen hair to a delicate face, drops oozing over curves and running down shapely, bare limbs. Plump, well-endowed flesh shuddered in the cold precipitation and became distinctly perk-

"Hey Neji-buddy. Eyes up here."

Neji was completely frozen. He could not take his eyes off the first sight of exposed female assets in three years. The girl huffed in offense, or amusement, it was hard to tell. Not like he was looking at her face.

It was a mistake. The movement brought her chest up smack into his open palm.

Blood gushed from Neji's nose in an arc as he careened backwards and fell senseless to the ground.

Tenten arrived to find what appeared to be a dead body in front of the tea shop and a very sexy, nude blonde girl rolling around in the mud trying to stop bellowing from laughter.

"T-Tenten, look, I beat THE Neji Hyuuga!" Naruto managed to gasp, before sinking down again in helpless mirth.