Author: fraidy bat
Rating: T
Pairings: Olivia/Viola, Viola/Duke, Sebastian/Yvonne implied
Summary: 98 percent of the time still leaves two percent in which anything can happen. A sequel to He's Not You. Viola POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from She's the Man. None of it belongs to me.
Notes: Let me just say that I am a jerk for letting this go for so long. A very big I'M SORRY to everyone who has been waiting for me to finish this. I promise I really didn't forget about it. In fact, I've been mulling over this fic constantly since my last update. I just ran into a writer's block of sorts and couldn't seem to write even though I knew what I wanted to say. Plus, the holiday season is always extra busy for me at work, and it didn't make things any easier. But I hate making excuses. Again, sorry for the very long wait. Thank you for your patience, and I hope this meets your expectations. :) Oh, by the way. Don't be alarmed when there are a couple small departures from Viola's first-person perspective in the last few chapters of this fic. It's all under control. There will be at least one more chapter after this. :D
Chapter 7
I must have sat on the floor for fifteen minutes at least. I might have been longer if my phone hadn't rung and startled me half to death. Swallowing down the anxiety at the sight of the caller ID, I answered the phone.
"Hey, baby. You ready to be dazzled tonight?"
"Hi, Duke," I said, desperately trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. "Can't wait."
"I'm coming by your room at six to pick you up, so be ready. And maybe wear that red dress I like so much."
His playful mood helped me calm down some, and I managed a laugh. "No promises, bud."
"It's cool. I love surprises. See you at six, Vi."
He hung up, and I wondered if he would be getting more than one surprise tonight. Shuddering, I picked myself up off the cold linoleum and tried to push all of it, all the crap, out of my mind, but it wasn't easy. Everything I tried to think about brought me right back to the blaringly loud truth that had invaded my mind and wouldn't leave: choose.
I decided to wear the red dress because it would make Duke happy.
Choose.
I would have to take a shower as soon as I got back to my room if I wanted to curl my hair. Also, there was that new lipstick I'd wanted to try.
Choose.
I shut myself in my room and took the dress out of the closet. It really was a hot dress. No wonder Duke went crazy for it. Despite myself, I absentmindedly mused that Olivia would probably go crazy for it, too.
CHOOSE.
By the time six o'clock came around, I was looking damn good in the red dress, my makeup was perfect, and my hair was nicely curled. And I felt like exploding. I almost didn't even trust myself to open my mouth at any point during the evening because of what might come out of it. I didn't know if the first thing I said to Duke when he came to pick me up was going to be "hi honey, Happy V-Day," or "sorry babe, we have to call it quits."
When Duke knocked on my door at 6:02 PM and I let him in, his mouth fell open as he checked me out in my dress and didn't at all try to hide how much he was staring. I couldn't help smiling at his very obvious appreciation of me in my red dress.
"Wow. I mean, d-damn," he stammered. "You look—amazing."
"Thanks, Duke. You don't look too bad either," I said, indicating his nice charcoal suit and blushing a little at all the flattery.
"Stop blushing. That's lame," he said, leaning toward me with a mischievous grin. I smacked him lightly on the chest and pulled him out of the room.
Here we go…
"Tell me again why we're going to see a sappy romantic movie?"
Kia snorted. "So we can remind ourselves how sad and alone we are. Duh."
"Ah, yes. How stupid of me to forget," sighed Paul, putting an arm around the blonde girl next to him in line for movie tickets. She was checking her watch again. Kia noticed her doing this and put a hand over the watch face.
"Stop torturing yourself," she said sympathetically. "Trying to guess what she's doing every five minutes is only gonna make it suck that much more."
Olivia's face fell, and she slumped against Paul, who squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
"I know, you're right," she said, trying to smile. "Plus, I promised myself I would try not to spend the rest of my life being sad about this."
"So of course, we take you to see a cheesy movie about love on Valentine's Day so you'll feel better!" Paul exclaimed with jovial sarcasm. Kia and Olivia laughed.
"No, this helps," Olivia said, smiling at Paul and Kia. "Believe me."
Yes, being with friends on Valentine's Day when the person you love is with someone else is a much better alternative to being alone. Olivia definitely knew this. She just wished she knew for sure if she'd ever be able to stop thinking about where Viola was right now, what she was doing, how she was feeling, what she was thinking…
Olivia checked her watch again, ignoring the sad look that came over Kia's face when she did it. It was 6:34 PM on Wednesday, February 14th. Valentine's Day.
And Viola Hastings, the person Olivia loved, was probably out to a nice dinner with her boyfriend, Duke Orsino. They might already be seated at their table. Viola might have already decided to stay with Duke, and Olivia might already be a fading memory.
Olivia closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The ticket line moved forward, and she tore her mind away from Viola just long enough to put one foot in front of the other. It was all she could do.
We'd been sitting down at our table for ten minutes, and I still could not get over how nice the restaurant was. It had some sophisticated French name, and the menus were covered with yet more sophisticated French. I was starting to regret taking only Spanish in high school.
"Um, what's this mean?" I said to Duke in a low voice, surreptitiously pointing to an item on my menu.
He frowned at it for a second. "I think that's chicken."
"Oh."
The silence hung in the air for a while longer as we tried to decipher our menus. I wondered if this was how Duke had pictured this night going. All I knew was that whether it was chicken or not, I wouldn't be eating it. My stomach was so knotted up that I didn't expect to ever eat again.
A snooty-looking waiter came over and took our order. At least he spoke perfect English. Duke pointed to the chicken thing and said we'd both have "that." I had to smile. It was a clever way to avoid pronouncing it wrong. The waiter glanced coldly at both of us before stiffly marching away. Duke sipped from his crystal water goblet and grinned at me.
"What do you think got up his butt?" he said quietly, laughing a little bit.
"He's just upset because he hasn't had a date in about ten years," I said, trying hard not to laugh too much. I felt weird about laughing out loud in this fancy French place full of people my parents would be friends with. In fact, there actually were a few Junior Leaguers in the restaurant that evening, but I didn't tell Duke that. He obviously wanted this to be an impressive, romantic evening, and I didn't want to ruin it for him.
Unless I opened my mouth and "we need to break up" came flying out. That would probably kill the mood pretty damn quick. All the humor went out of the situation, and I was again painfully aware of the knots in my stomach. I leaned my head against my hand and closed my eyes. I desperately wanted to know what Olivia was doing tonight and how she was feeling. She seemed okay when she left me stunned and paralyzed in that classroom earlier in the day, but appearances can be deceiving. I should know.
Was she alone? Was she sad? Was she already trying to forget about me? My mind raced with thoughts of her that I couldn't seem to slow down. I thought back to when I first met her. I was so freaked out about keeping my female-ness a secret and wired from tryouts and my bizarre meeting with Principal Gold that I barely registered how beautiful she was. It was later in the cafeteria when I learned that Duke had a major crush on Olivia that I really looked at her and saw why. And now that gorgeous face was all I could think about.
I was still thinking about her when I realized that Duke had been talking to me, and probably for quite a while. He was staring at me, waiting for me to answer him.
Did he ask me a question?
"I'm sorry, what?" I said apologetically, feeling awful. "What did you say?"
Duke's face fell, as his stare became one of disbelief. "You didn't hear anything I just said?"
I shook my head sadly. "I'm sorry, I was…thinking, and I guess I spaced out a little." I'm sure I must have looked as anguished as I felt because Duke did the only thing he could to try and stop the downward death spiral of this Valentine's Day evening.
"You know what, it's cool. I can say all that stuff I just said about us and how I feel about you and everything just as easily with this—" And he pulled out a small red velvet box with a red ribbon tied around it. "I don't have to say it out loud."
He handed the box to me across the table and smiled.
Oh god, just kill me now.
I took the box, feeling sick. His warm eyes were on me, watching me for my reaction to what was undoubtedly a very expensive and very heartfelt gift. I steadied my hand and carefully untied the ribbon. After a second of hesitation, I opened the lid. Inside the red box was a beautiful silver bracelet. I gaped at it like an idiot. I know Duke wanted me to look up at him, show him the happy reaction that would tell him I loved him too and this relationship was going to last, but I couldn't do it. Gazing at this wonderful gift that must have cost him a lot of money, that he clearly put all his feelings behind, I knew in a sudden unhappy moment that I didn't love him anymore, at least not in the way I used to. I would have to tell him that it was over after he had gone to all this trouble and gotten me this perfect bracelet.
I felt so overwhelmed with guilt at how bad this would make him feel and sadness that our relationship was really over that I started crying. Not bawling or anything, but there were definitely tears falling steadily from my eyes. I still couldn't make eye contact with Duke, and I fleetingly thought that he might assume I was crying happy tears.
He didn't. In fact, he seemed to know right away what was happening. I heard him let out a long sigh, and I finally found the balls to look at him. He shook his head sadly, and he suddenly seemed exhausted. He began gesturing, like he was trying to find the right way to say something difficult.
He sighed again. "Viola…"
I sniffled.
"You know, I really thought that if I just made Valentine's Day perfect, we could get back to where we used to be," he said in a low, calm voice. He smiled ruefully. "I've been watching you slip away from me for a long time, and I tried to hold on. But when we're together, you're just not with me. Maybe it was soccer ending or…I don't know. I just—I know I can't hold onto you anymore. I have to let go." He took a deep breath and looked down at the tablecloth. "It sucks to do this on Valentine's Day, but…I think we should break up."
I couldn't believe my ears. If it weren't such a gut-wrenching moment, I would have laughed at the irony. I fretted the whole night about breaking up with Duke, and it turned out he beat me to the punch.
He nervously cleared his throat. "And besides, I get the feeling that I'm—that I'm not—" He stopped and gave me an intense look that made my mouth go dry. He knows about me and Olivia flashed through my shell-shocked mind. He cleared his throat again, and his voice dropped so low I almost couldn't hear him. "You should be with someone you love, and I don't think that's me anymore."
More tears blurred my vision, and I couldn't see his face. It's just as well. It killed me to see him hurt. I might not be in love with him anymore, but I still loved him like the best friend he was. Fear grabbed hold of me and squeezed. Duke might not want to stay friends, and I didn't know if I could deal with that.
"Duke," I whispered, wiping at the tears so I could see his face again. "I'm so sorry."
He nodded and looked away so I wouldn't see the bitterness in his expression, but I saw it anyway.
"I know you're gonna ask me if we can still be friends," he said, a muscle twitching in his jaw. My heart skipped a beat. "And I don't want to lie to you, so all I can say is I don't know."
My heart was being strangled.
"Only time will tell, as they say," he said with a wry smile. Neither of us said anything for a little while, and eventually he reached across the table and took the little red box out of my hands. "You should go."
"Duke, I—"
"Viola, go. Go find—" He faltered and swallowed hard. "Go find her."
Despite the sadness of the whole thing, hearing those words from Duke lifted a weight that felt like two tons off my shoulders, and I suddenly felt so light that I could have floated up to the ceiling. I looked into his eyes and tried to tell him everything I couldn't say out loud. He blinked and nodded curtly.
"I'll see you around, Viola." He straightened up in his chair and squared his shoulders.
I tentatively reached across the table and put my hand on his for a couple seconds before pulling it back and slowly standing up. I wiped at my eyes again, but it didn't matter. Duke wasn't looking at me anyway. I stood there stupidly for a minute, not sure how to leave this. Finally, I settled for the most simple option.
"Bye, Duke," I said quietly, and then I turned and left.
Standing outside, I realized that I didn't have a car. I got out my phone and feverishly called for a cab. I wanted to get back to my room and process what had just happened. I had no idea where Olivia was right then, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to see her tonight anyway. It seemed a little insane to get out of one relationship and get into another all in the same evening.
The cab took forever, but it finally drove up to meet me. I tried not to picture Duke sitting alone in the fancy French restaurant as I got into the car and told the driver to take me to Illyria. Instead, I allowed myself to think about Olivia and how I felt about her, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel guilty about it. I felt like I could get out of the cab and fly home.
"I've never felt better about walking out of a movie," said Paul, pulling into Illyria's main driveway and heading for Olivia's dorm. The romantic comedy had proven to be a terrible movie in addition to being a depressing choice for three unhappily single people on Valentine's Day. They had sat through about half an hour before giving up and going home. Paul was dropping Olivia off first. Then he would drop Kia off and finally go home to wallow in a pint of Ben & Jerry's and maybe watch old episodes of "Remington Steele." Pierce Brosnan always seemed to cheer him up.
As he pulled up in front of Olivia's dorm, all three of them noticed who was waiting by the front door. She looked like she'd been crying, and her eye makeup was a little smudged, but she was wearing a killer red dress that took Olivia's breath away. Paul gave Olivia an encouraging nudge, but she was frozen. This could be the moment when everything ended for her and Viola.
It was a small, burning hope that helped Olivia get out of the car and walk toward Viola, a hope that maybe this wasn't the end. Maybe it was the beginning.
Just maybe.