-1Bart

"What did you call me over for Bart? You sick of jacking off and want some real sex again?" Jessica asks as he takes a place on my bed next to me.

"No, I just been thinking about what Alex said… what your dad said,"

"My dad is just becoming old, soon not even my mum would want his dried up balls,"

"But Jessica, what if hell is real, I know there is no proof and all logical disproves it but what if it is real,"

"Well then I can't wait to have sex with Hitler and Gandi,"

"you really think Gandi would be in hell Jessica?"

"yeah!"

"I mean the torture of a damned soul, we will be trapped in fire for all eternity, drowning in our own screams for escape,"

"Awh you just need a good fuck," she says as she gets on my knees and starts lifting her shirt.

"No stop Jessica, don't you see, we are going to go to hell!!! Please be at the reopening, please I love you as a friend and I don't want you go to hell,"

"The only reason you love me as a friend is cause I screw your tiny penis,"

"no, cause I have learnt that friendship isn't about sex or doing drugs together, it's about having fun and having people to rely on,"

"Sex and drugs are the most fun thing,"

"True Jess but when a friend tries help you… you have no choice but to say….?"

"I'll think about it, well see ya," Awh weak, that didn't go as planned. I walk into Lisa's room, maybe I should have knocked first, she is having sex with her friend Alison.

"awh sorry,"

"It's okay Bart, you can come in," Says Alison in a cute way. I can't believe she turned out to be a dyke, I mean Lisa was expected but Alison too?

"listen I been thinking, maybe we have gone to far, since the Burns era this town has fallen into to sin, for god's sake there are 8 yr olds dealing drugs and fucking their grandparents," They are only semi listening as they are having a fun root. Once they are done and redress then I have their full attention.

"But Bart, you know that God isn't real,"

"But what if it is Alison?"

"it isn't Bart, the universe was the result of the big bang not some guy that could bored and decided to make us,"

"Awh all I hear from you smart people is the big bang created Earth, I have to admit I never believed in it or God, how stupid is it to think the universe just exploded into existence and is expanding and one day will collapse on itself."

"Is it anymore stupid than God created Adam and Eve who bore children and then their children have incest sex to populate the world or budda sitting under a tree for 20 years. I think budda needed a girlfriend," I have to admit that incest is a sin and that's how the world was populated and budda really needed to get laid but now I'm starting to think that this world needs religion, even if it's fake.

"it's way more stupid than that,"

"Look religion is the cause of so much violence, look around the world, the history, War was caused by religion and later by money."

"But without religion we go to far, nothing is sacred and the moral levels of society start to decrease,"

"touché," Lisa and Alison say in unison.

"Come on guys, we got to get in touch with God, stop the world for sin. Murder is okay now, children having sex is legal, drugs are our global policy."

"Your right Bart, how did I get such a smart brother?"

"well in my youth I had a great teacher,"

"Thanks Bart," She said by hugging me, it was a little eerie that she had just been poking Alison and now she touched me but who really gives a fuck. She thought I was talking about her but I was really talking about T.V.

Reverend Lovejoy

"Okay Reverend, we got to have to talk a lot about hell, you know guilt trip everyone about their sins,"

"Well duh Alex,"

"well I mean… I was just reminding you,"

"Yeah thanks for that,"