For the first time in her entire life, Isabella felt completely, utterly fearless. She was untouchable; no one and nothing could hurt her. She was invincible, soaring over all the pain of the past. She was everything that anyone had ever told her she couldn't be.
At least, that's how she had felt when she was performing. The minute she ended the song, the realization that everyone in the entire bar was staring at her hit like a brick wall, and a cold wave of dread washed over her. There was a beat of silence that seemed to last for a lifetime, and then the crowd burst into cheers. Some even called for an encore. Most important of all, in the back of the room, there was Evie, beaming at her with pride.
The moments after that seemed like a blur, but she recalled being interrupted by Evie, Evie being interrupted by the bartender, and then going back to take her seat in the corner booth from before. Almost as soon as Evie sat down, she began to speak so quickly that Isabella could barely understand what she was saying.
"And that was incredible everyone loved you you got SO into it it was amazing how could you have ever been afraid to do what you just did wow-"
Isabella had never told Evie why exactly she was afraid to sing. She had never told her that ghosts from her old life lurked in the darkest corners of her mind, whispering discouraging words and insults, calling her a disgrace to her last name and telling her that to choose music over family was to choose loneliness and despair. She had kept from her best friend a piece of her history, a piece that she had never told anyone, because telling someone, anyone, would unravel the perfectly wrapped package that she had hidden herself in for years, and as she thought about it all, the adrenaline slowly faded away, leaving behind the same fear from before. All of a sudden, she felt trapped, as if she had chosen the wrong path, but it was too late to turn back now, it was just too late-
"I need a drink of water." she blurted out. Evie, who had been talking nonstop for the past five minutes, cut off the stream of words coming from her mouth abruptly.
"Isabella," she said, and the singer could feel her friend analyzing her expression, "What's wrong?"
"I just need a drink of water," she explained, turning her face away from Evie's, "and I ran out of water in my bottle. I'll be right back."
Before the brunette could protest, Isabella was up and gone, headed straight toward the smoothie bar.
————————
Evie had never considered herself a particularly analytical person, but she could read Isabella like a book.
She hated when her best friend got that way, hated it when it seemed like everything was fine and then, all of a sudden, it wasn't. Isabella would be in the middle of singing a song, or talking, or even laughing, and then she would freeze up. Her face would harden to stone and become devoid of expression, as if she had practiced it a million times. Her eyes were still revealing though, and what Evie saw scared her. She saw fear in those eyes, a sad fear, filled with remorse and regret and guilt. Of course, every single time this happened, Evie would reach out to her, and try to help, but Isabella would run before she could. Sometimes she would hide in the bathroom, sometimes she would just go home, but every time, she found a way to run and a place to hide.
Isabella was more than just a best friend to Evie; she was like a sister, a sibling that she could confide in and share experiences with. Someone to depend on through everything. But in those moments when she turned distant, it was like Evie was all alone again, and it frustrated her beyond belief. She would try to remind herself that she wasn't ever alone, not really, not even if Isabella was gone. But it was hard to pretend to have a family when the family she had felt so far away. Her mother was always at work, and it was hard to have the connection that she yearned to have with her younger brother. They loved her very much, and she loved them back, that was for sure; Evie knew that she would do anything for her family. But she also knew that her relationship with them would always be tarnished by the guilt she felt for wanting a more conventional family.
It was in times like this, when Isabella fled the scene, that Evie allowed herself to really think about those things. It was rare that she became lost in thought, because Evie wasn't a particularly thoughtful person, but when something that had happened bothered her, she dwelled on it until either she thought of a solution or the problem passed. This problem, however, was different, a challenge from within that she didn't know how to face. So, like all of the other times that the same thing happened, Evie pushed her thoughts aside and looked for a distraction. She had used to try and follow her best friend to wherever she had fled, but the fleeing seemed to become more constant with every step that Isabella made toward her dream of being a singer, to the point where Evie had decided that, when her friend turned numb, it was best to just leave her alone.
"Can something just happen?" she thought, pleading with some otherworldly force, "Can something fun or cool just happen right now to make this night better? Because I kinda feel like this night is about to totally suck and I just-"
As if by fate, a girl with long black hair walked by, tripped over absolutely nothing, and face planted right in front of her.
"I would like to clarify," Evie thought as she stood up to help the girl, "When I said cool and exciting, I didn't mean someone breaking their face in front of me."
She held out her hand to the girl, who was already beginning to sit up. She looked in a daze, but thankfully her facial features were still intact. When she noticed Evie's hand stretched out to her, she took it, and the other girl pulled her to her feet.
"Are you okay?" Evie asked, and the girl nodded.
"Yeah, I'm alright. A little embarrassed, but it's all good." the girl replied quietly, and her face was as red as a tomato.
"Don't worry, I'm sure that only the fifteen people at surrounding tables noticed what just happened," Evie joked, and the other girl laughed.
"I'm Cleo," the girl introduced herself with a smile. Cleo held out her hand for Evie to shake it.
"Are you holding that out because you plan on falling again and you want to make sure I help you out for the second time?"
Cleo laughed again, but then her eyes widened.
"Wait a minute," she said, "Aren't you the person who was just up at the mic with that girl? The one who sang?"
"Oh, Isabella?" Evie asked, and at the mention of her best friend, she found herself glancing over to the smoothie bar, where Isabella had taken a seat and was sipping on a foamy pink beverage, alone. Then, she snapped out of it and answered the question.
"Um yeah, that was me. What did you think of the show?"
The smile on Cleo's face seemed to grow even bigger with enthusiasm.
"It was awesome! Your friend is really talented. Me and all of my friends thought so,"
"Oh, where are you and your friends sitting?" Evie asked. If Isabella was going to ditch her, then there was no reason to not find someone to hang out with.
Cleo pointed to a booth about two tables away, where three other girls and one guy were sitting.
"Over there. You and Isabella should come sit with us, I'm sure all my friends would love to meet you guys!"
"Okay, just let me get Isabella and we'll be over there in a second!" Evie replied, and then she set off for the smoothie bar.
——————-
"Cleo, what are you doing?" Rikki asked, observing as her friend pulled two chairs from a nearby empty table over to theirs.
Before her friend could answer, two girls approached. One of them was the singer from earlier, her guitar in hand. The other was her brown haired friend, her "manager".
"Guys, I want you to meet Isabella and Evie," Cleo said, "Isabella is the singer from tonight, and her friend Evie just helped me after I tripped!"
"You say that as if we could forget!" Emma exclaimed, "You were incredible, Isabella!"
The tan girl blushed and then looked down at the ground, almost as if she was ashamed of herself in some way. Rikki decided to try and make her more comfortable.
"Yeah, thanks for blessing us with your voice, because up until that point my ears were still bleeding from Miriam screaming at a new waitress."
Everyone laughed, including the two newcomers. Cleo slid back into the booth beside Lewis and motioned towards the two empty chairs at the end of the table.
"You guys are welcome to sit, if you want," she invited , and both girls took a seat. Cleo looked pleased.
"Hey, you never introduced us!" Rikki exclaimed, "Isabella is going to be famous one day, and I want to be remembered as one of her first fans."
"Yeah, sorry, that spot has already been claimed by me," Evie retorted, "Although if you want, you could settle for, like, her second or third fan." For the first time, Isabella spoke up.
"Hey, she said 'fans', not fan. There's room for more," A smile lit up the singer's face.
"Thank you guys for all the support. This was my first time performing live, and I was really freaked out, so the compliments mean a lot, they really do."
"That was your FIRST TIME doing that?!?" Lewis inquired.
"Yeah, you're crazy good for someone who has never sung in front of people before!" Charlotte chimed in.
"Thanks so much!" Isabella replied, "And yeah, I've never really had the guts to do it. I would never have done it without Evie, honestly."
Evie smiled and threw an arm around Isabella's shoulder.
"I claim full credit for her success,"
Isabella rolled her eyes and said, "See, this is why I don't trust you completely as a manager,"
"She also doesn't trust me around speedboats,"
At this, everyone laughed once again, but Rikki caught Isabella giving Evie a warning glance.
"But enough about me," Isabella continued, "What about you guys?"
"Oh right, sorry!" Cleo apologized, "These are my friends Lewis, Charlotte, Rikki, and Emma!"
She gestured to each person as she said their name, and each person gave the two girls either a small smile or a wave.
"You guys seem a bit familiar." Emma remarked. "Do you go to Dolphin City High School?"
She was referring to the school that herself, Rikki, Cleo, and Lewis had been attending since last year. Surviving freshman year had been difficult, but it was made even more difficult by the fact that the school was huge and contained multitudes of students, not just from Dolphin City but from other small neighboring communities that lacked a decent public school of their own. Between the size of the building, the throngs of students, and the newly found secret that they were obligated to keep, freshman year had hit Rikki and her friends hard.
Rikki felt a twinge of sympathy for Charlotte, remembering that Lewis had told them about her old school. Charlotte was transferring from a small private school to a giant public school, a switch that was likely to cause her a great amount of stress.
"We do." Evie replied, answering for both herself and her friend. "I've lived in this town my whole life."
"I just moved to this city a couple years ago," Isabella added, "It took a while to adjust to everything, but it feels like home now. What about you all, have you guys always lived here?"
Everyone nodded yes except for Charlotte. "I'm here on a visit for the summer, but I'm going back home for a week or two before school starts." She then proceeded to explain her father's job offer, and how she was planning on returning home to say her goodbyes and then moving back into the city with her parents before sophomore year began.
"It might be intimidating at first, but you'll get used to this place pretty quickly, especially because you're already spending time here now." Isabella reassured her.
"Oh, she isn't really afraid to leave." Rikki jumped in, and Charlotte nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it honestly. It'll be a nice change."
"And even if you do get scared or nervous, you have us to look out for you, right guys?" Lewis asked, looking towards his three best friends. Rikki, Emma, and Cleo all agreed enthusiastically.
"You have us, too." Isabella stated. "We should all hang out more this summer!"
"Yeah, you guys are pretty cool!" Evie exclaimed, a smile spreading over her face.
"Oh my god," Rikki said, feigning shock. "The future pop star and her manager just called us cool. I might pass out."
"Rikki uses sarcasm a lot because she thinks it's funny," Emma explained, and, at the same exact time, Evie and Rikki both replied with an indignant, "It IS funny."
Everyone at the table laughed as the waitress came by to drop off the check. Isabella looked almost disappointed at the sight of it.
"Aw, you guys are leaving already?" she asked.
"Yeah, the night's just begun!" Evie exclaimed. Isabella nodded in excitement, and then she gasped, her eyes lighting up as she thought of something.
"Why don't you guys all sleep over at my house tonight?!?"
At the idea of an escape from facing Cathy (and her father), Rikki was filled with excitement.
"I'm down for sure!" she replied enthusiastically, "I'll just have to run home and grab my stuff."
"But wait, are you sure your parents would be ok with us staying over?" Emma inquired, acting as the voice of reason in the way that she always did. At her question, the smile on Isabella's face disappeared.
"Um, actually, I don't live with my parents." she answered, "I live with my aunt and my older sister."
There was a beat of awkward silence at the table, and Emma, clearly embarrassed for accidentally bringing up a subject that made their new friend uncomfortable, tried to fill it with another question.
"Well, would they be okay with us all coming to your house?" Isabella seemed to brighten up a bit.
"Yeah, definitely!" she replied, "My aunt loves company, and visitors give her an excuse to bake."
"I'm down for your aunt's cookies, so I'll be there for sure," Evie remarked.
"Let me just call my mom and ask if it's okay." Emma said, and then she left the table with her cellphone in hand.
"Lewis, would you be okay if I slept over tonight?" Charlotte asked hesitantly. "I know that I just got here and all, but…"
"Oh!" Isabella exclaimed, as if she had just remembered that Lewis was there. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to steal all your friends from you tonight!"
"Nah, it's fine," Lewis replied, waving his hand dismissively. Cleo put a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you sure?" the dark haired girl inquired, concern edging her voice. "I don't want you to feel too left out, it's the first night of vacation!"
"I promise it's ok," the scientist answered with a slightly unconvincing smile. "I have stuff to work on tonight anyway, and I wouldn't want to crash a girls' night."
Rikki couldn't hold back a smirk at the way that Lewis put his hand over Cleo's on his shoulder to reassure her.
"Well then, I'll be there!" Cleo exclaimed.
"So will I." Charlotte added, a bright smile plastered across her face.
"Count me in!" Emma said as she returned to the group of six girls and one boy. Then, as the waiter came to take the check, Isabella shared her address with her new friends, and the girls exchanged numbers. Both Evie and Isabella added Lewis to their phone, as well, though Rikki suspected that it was out of guilt for excluding him.
"My aunt would kill me if I tried to have a boy stay the night," she explained, while typing his number into her phone. Lewis smiled halfheartedly.
"It's okay, my mom would kill me if I even asked to stay the night at your house," he responded.
Before Rikki could even seize her chance, Emma muttered, just quietly enough that Rikki and Charlotte could hear, "That's because your mom would kill you for not loving Cleo as much as she does." The three girls burst into giggles, earning them confused looks from everyone else at the table.
When contacts had been exchanged, the group parted ways, and Rikki left the restaurant feeling full and happy. However, as she neared her house, she could feel her happiness slowly ebbing away. When she reached her front doorstep, she noticed that the porch light was on, a sure sign that Cathy and her father were home from the grocery store. She cursed under her breath; how was she supposed to sneak out now?
With a lurch of guilt, Rikki realized what she'd just thought. She wanted to sneak out of the house for the night and scare her father to death, and for what? To avoid a confrontation? No, she wasn't about to punish her father for Cathy's words.
"I'll just grab my stuff and tell him I'm sleeping over at Emma's," she thought. "He trusts Emma and Cleo, but he'll question Isabella. He doesn't know her."
Resolving to lie, Rikki took a deep breath and carefully unlocked her front door, her heart heavy. She still felt guilty for lying to her father, but at least it wasn't a complete lie; after all, she WAS going to a sleepover, and she WOULD be with Emma and Cleo.
Once she had gotten inside, Rikki closed the door quietly behind her, figuring that she could sneak upstairs and pack. If she was already prepared, maybe her father would be even more likely to let her go without trying to talk to her. She tiptoed past the bookshelf near the entryway, letting her eyes wander over the various books and collectibles. Her father had built the shelf and placed his wife's most important possessions there, as a way to honor her. As she reached the end of the shelf, where the stairs to the family's bedrooms began, Rikki realized that something was off about the bookshelf. Something wasn't there, but she just couldn't put her finger on what it was...
Suddenly, there was the sound of footsteps coming from the kitchen, and a murmur of voices. As the footsteps became louder, Rikki realized that they were headed straight towards the entryway. Cursing under her breath, she abandoned her thoughts of the missing bookshelf item and scrambled upstairs as quietly as she could. Once she reached the top, she tiptoed all the way to the end of the hallway, where her bedroom was. She reached her door, creaked it open and ducked inside, shutting the door behind her. With the extra protection of the door to mute any sounds she made, she began to dig through her messy room for what she needed.
Rikki had never been one to stay on top of her responsibilities, and this included cleaning her room. She had memories of her mother scolding her when she was a small child, trying to convince her to declutter her space.
"We don't have much room in this house as it is." she would mutter under her breath, and Rikki got the impression that her mother hadn't meant for her to hear that. Mrs. Chadwick had always dreamed of buying a bigger, nicer house, and she had even been saving up for it. She had found an old mason jar and painted the words "Dream Jar" on it with bright red paint (as per Rikki's suggestion, because red was her favorite color.) She called it that because the money she placed inside the jar represented the steps she was taking towards her dream, not only for herself, but for her family.
"She always wanted a better life for us." Rikki thought bitterly, tossing aside dirty clothes. "Now we have one, and she isn't here to see it." The first time Rikki had ever laid eyes on the new house, she knew that her mother would have loved it. Rikki loved the house too, but without her, sometimes it was just a reminder of what could have been.
With a shake of her head, Rikki pushed aside her dismal thoughts and continued to throw possessions into the duffel bag she used for sleepovers. Finally, she threw her wallet into the bag and zipped it up. Throwing the bag over her shoulder, she flicked off the light and exited her room.
As the red haired girl made her way downstairs, she heard two voices yelling. Her father and Cathy were having a fight. Rikki stopped on the stairs, frozen. She had never heard her father raise his voice towards his new girlfriend, and Cathy had never raised her voice towards him. What could they possibly be fighting about?
Moving with caution, Rikki proceeded down the stairs, trying, once again, not to make too much noise. She wanted to find out why her father was upset before she interrupted the fight. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she stepped into the entryway and flattened her back against the wall next to the bookcase. The shouting was coming from the living room. As she strained her ears to listen, Rikki's focus was suddenly ripped from the conflict in the next room. She realized what had seemed off about the bookcase.
The dream jar was gone.
All of a sudden, Rikki didn't care about the fighting, or the sleepover, or about anything except the missing memory. She began to search, pushing aside bags of sea glass and framed pictures, trying to see if the jar had been moved. When she determined that it was no longer on the shelf, she looked behind the shelf, trying to see if it had fallen off. Thankfully, there were no glass shards anywhere, so it seemed as if the jar, wherever it was, was still intact.
It was then that the voices in the living room grew silent, and all of a sudden footsteps were growing in volume, approaching the entryway. Before she could react, Cathy and her father had blasted onto the scene, and, in Cathy's small hand, she clenched the dream jar.
"This is absolutely ridiculous!" Cathy shouted, "Listen, I have been so good about what happened with her. I've been respectful, patient, kind- I've been trying to bond with that daughter of yours for weeks but she just doesn't want anything to do with me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around the two of you!".
Mr. Chadwick's eyes filled with tears, but he choked them back. Neither adult seemed to notice that Rikki was there.
"Have you ever lost the love of your life?!?" Mr. Chadwick shouted back, and Rikki felt a sharp pang of fear at the tone and volume of her father's voice, louder and angrier than she had ever heard it.
"Do you have any idea how hard it was to move on? To continue on with my job and my life as if it hadn't happened? To be strong for Rikki?"
Rikki had been contemplating bolting out the door and heading to Mako to spend the night; hearing her father sound so heartbroken made her own heart shatter. But the curious part of her wanted to know what they were fighting about, so she stayed put. Cathy's eyes welled up, and she took a step towards her husband.
"I know that you loved her," she said, her voice dropping to barely a whisper as she set her hand on his shoulder.
"But you and Rikki have me now. We love each other. You and Rikki love each other. I want nothing more than to be a part of your daughter's life,"
"And you expect to do that by selling that bookshelf and stuffing everything on it in a box?" Rikki's father answered. Rikki gasped, but still, neither adult noticed the teen girl, pressed up against the wall.
"I had no idea of the meaning behind it. To be fair, you never told me."
"I never told you for a reason, and the reason is that the shelf is personal to me and Rikki."
"I am your wife," Cathy stated, exasperated, "I'm your family now. We need to be able to talk to each other about these things. We need to be open and honest."
When Mr. Chadwick didn't say anything, the young woman let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm being insensitive."
There was a beat of silence, and then Rikki's father spoke.
"I think maybe we should take some time apart."
Cathy's eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed in anger.
"My whole life I haven't been good enough," she said quietly, "I'm always the last choice. But I finally won with you, and even when I win, I'm still second best to someone who's long gone."
Mr. Chadwick sighed. "You're not second best," he replied, "You're the only woman for me, but if you can't accept that my daughter and I need to honor her memory, then you shouldn't stay,"
Upon hearing her father say these words, Rikki gasped aloud. Both Cathy and her father turned towards the noise, and Cathy jumped. The glass jar slipped out of her grasp and shattered on the ground.
There was complete silence in the kitchen. Too shocked to speak, Rikki slid to the ground, staring at the glass shards scattered around her. Above her, Cathy stood, looking even more shocked.
"I-" she mumbled, "I am so sorry, Rikki. I am so, so, so sor-"
"You're ruining everything," Rikki interrupted, "You're ruining my family even more than it was already ruined, and I hate you,"
And without another word, the redhead stood, picked up her bag, and bolted to the door, pushing Cathy and her father out of the way. She heard her father call her name as she ran into the cool evening air, but she didn't care.