The Ten Things I Hate About Chloe Beale
Chapter Seven: Beca Mitchell - Never Been Missed
~Present~
Chloe was perched on the edge of Beca's desk while the DJ sat on her bed with her hands covering her face. Chloe's excitement at Beca quoting the line from the movie had been short-lived once she started to talk to the smaller girl and witnessed her shut down completely. She was terrified to tell Chloe exactly how she was feeling and the thought of losing her was driving her crazy. So crazy that she couldn't even talk to her best friend and instead chose to cover her face to avoid those eyes and that smile and her…everything.
Chloe was being so great though and didn't push Beca to talk or do anything that she didn't want to do. Instead she looked at Beca with concern written all over her face and rubbed her shoulder gently as she struggled to put together the right words. After five minutes of silence though, she couldn't take it any longer and whispered "Bec, talk to me. You haven't said anything since I came back in here and I want to talk to you. Don't shut down like this and push me away. I care enough about you that I didn't leave and I…why did you watch the movie? You hate them and there had to be a reason that you watched it and can quote it. Talk to me, please."
Beca ran a hand through her hair and made the mistake of looking up at Chloe. The ginger smiled at her calmly and it sent shock waves down Beca's spine. She couldn't hold back any longer and as Chloe nodded encouragingly, Beca managed a crooked smile and admitted "I guess…I watched it because it means something to you. You love it and if it means that much to you…then I want it to mean something to me too. You're my best friend and I want to love the same stuff that you do."
As Beca looked back up from her hands, her heart skipped a beat when she saw that Chloe's blue orbs were floating in pools of tears. Chloe worried her bottom lip between her teeth and sniffled as she said "No one has ever said anything that sweet to me before. I don't know what to say, Beca."
"Then why are you crying? Something like that shouldn't make you upset. I'm sorry."
Chloe stood from the desk and sunk onto the bed next to Beca, taking one of her shaky hands into her own and squeezing it tightly. Beca instantly felt warm from the contact and found herself scooting closer to Chloe so their arms were pressed together and their thighs were dangerously close to touching. Chloe ran her fingers over the back of Beca's hand and murmured "Why did you make the list, Beca? If I'm your best friend, why did you make a list like that?"
It was Beca's turn to become teary and she looked down at her feet as she nervously tapped them against the hardwood floors. It was all real now and she was on the edge of panicking and becoming overwhelmed. Chloe was holding her though and rubbing her hand so tenderly that Beca knew that she had nothing to lose. Even if Chloe didn't feel a thing for her, she wouldn't lose her and that made everything a little better.
"No one has ever cared about me the way that you do. No one has ever been this good of a friend to me and I…I didn't want to ruin it." Beca swallowed the excess saliva in her mouth, instantly nervous. "I thought the list would help, but obviously it hasn't and I'm sorry for hurting you."
Chloe didn't say a word and as Beca looked up at her face, she gasped when she saw tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away gently with the back of her free hand and then stroked Chloe's auburn waves with her shaking hand. Chloe relaxed as Beca's hand eventually settled on her back and gasped.
"I feel it too, Beca." She paused, letting the words settle in and squeezed Beca's hand a little tighter as she continued "Just say it and it'll be okay. It won't change anything, but I have to hear those words from your mouth. Please, say it."
The tears bubbled up and over the edge of Beca's eyes and as they started to slowly slide down her red cheeks, Beca looked up at Chloe for reassurance. One look into those blue eyes that were shining with love was all that she needed and as Beca swiped the tears off of her cheeks, she breathed heavily a few times to calm down and softly said "I like you, Chloe."
5. I hate that Chloe makes me care about this place. It was supposed to be two semesters here and then a paid trip to L.A. and to the rest of my life. No boring Duluth, no stupid dinners with Dad and the step monster, and no more a cappella. She ruined all of that and now…I don't want to leave. I thought that it was just because I missed her and didn't want to be away for winter break, but now I realize that it's something more and she's made me actually care about those girls and this school and freaking a cappella. I can't leave now and that's…it's terrifying to actually want to stay somewhere.
~December~
Beca was trying to catch some extra sleep after a long night of mixing and as she finally nodded off in the too-bright room, her phone started to ring. She groaned as she pulled her head off of the pillow and sighed when she saw Chloe's name on the screen of her phone. Of course it had to be her! The one person that she couldn't get upset with and actually liked being bothered by. As she answered the phone, she tried to say hello but nothing came out but a yawn and she grinned as she heard Chloe start to giggle.
"Were you sleeping?" Chloe asked once Beca finished yawning. "I thought that you were supposed to be in literature right now. You're so going to flunk this semester!"
Beca laughed and replied "Sleeping is better than Anna Karenina. If I was there and stuck listening to a stupid lecture on Russian romance, I'd be asleep on my desk. My bed is a lot more comfortable and far less embarrassing. So, what's up? I hope it's important because I'm exhausted and Kimmy finally left."
She could hear the smile playing on Chloe's lips as she offered "Well, I want to distract you. Come Christmas shopping with me! I've put it off long enough and since the Bellas' Christmas party is tonight, I need to go now. Please? It'll be fun...and I'll take you to Starbucks if you go..."
Chloe trailed off and Beca debated her choices for a moment. She could either: A. Stay in her bed and sleep all afternoon until Godzilla came back and bitched at her for being a spoiled and lazy white girl or B. Go out with Chloe, have a good time, and get a free caramel latte and maybe a cookie if she played her cards right. It wasn't too hard of a decision and she pulled herself up and started to tug her boots on before answering Chloe.
"Only for you, Beale. I'll be outside."
As they pulled into the crowded parking lot of the nearby Target, Beca groaned into her hands and gasped "Look at this place! I still don't understand why you've put off Christmas shopping for so long. This place is crazy and the lines are going to be long and I hate-"
"Will a coffee shut you up?" Chloe asked as she pulled into the parking lot of Starbucks. "I know that I'm a little late, but I've put a lot of thought into what I want to buy and it's not too bad. Now come on, turn that frown upside down! You know that we're going to have fun..."
Beca couldn't stop herself from smiling as Chloe trailed off and as she slipped her seat belt off and climbed out of the cab of the truck, she linked arms with Chloe and said "I guess it'll be a little fun. Now come on, you promised me a coffee and I've been dying for a latte."
Beca had never felt as inadequate as she did while she watched Chloe shop. The girl seemed to know the perfect gift for each of the fellow Bellas and Beca felt like an idiot as she thought about what she had bought them. At the time, iTunes gift cards seemed like a nice idea, but now she realized how impersonal her choice was and knew that she would look like a fool tonight.
They had been in the store for two hours and were almost done shopping for the other girls. Chloe had picked out a shirt with a fun print on the chest for Amy, matching scarves and gloves for Jessica and Ashley (who were practically joined at the hip), a messenger bag for Denise (since she had mentioned how much she loved Chloe's at their last practice), a nice sleeve for Lily's iPad, and cute aviator sunglasses for Cynthia Rose. Beca knew that each one of them would appreciate their gift and as they entered the Health and Beauty section of the store, Beca wanted to sink through the floor.
Chloe was looking for the right gift for Stacie and as they walked down an aisle, Beca thought of the perfect present. Maybe she wasn't terrible at this after all. As Chloe stood in front of a rack of lotion, Beca pointed at a nearby shelf and announced "You should just buy her condoms. At least you know that she'll use them."
Chloe tried not to laugh as she considered the gift for a moment. "I can't buy her condoms, Beca! I'm getting them thoughtful presents. What is thoughtful about condoms?"
"I don't know. It shows that you know what she likes…and tells her that you think about her having sex. On second thought, don't get her them. She might take it as a hint that you want her body and I'm pretty sure that it would ruin the party if she started to hump you in front of everyone."
"She's not a dog, Beca!" Chloe chuckled, shoving her playfully. "Anyway, she likes this lotion and I'll just get a bunch and make her a nice gift bag. Jeez Becs, you need to get your mind out of the gutter!"
As the girl kneeled down to pick out the perfect combination of lotions, Beca snuck a peak at her ample cleavage and murmured "Not a chance, Beale. Not a chance."
They had been standing in the card aisle for fifteen minutes and Beca was getting antsy as she watched Chloe flip back and forth between the different Christmas cards in the abundant racks. Apparently she needed to read each one to find the perfect sentiment and Beca was bored and miserable. Her boots were pinching her toes and her head was throbbing from the caffeine rush from her coffee and as much as she liked Chloe, she could be incredibly infuriating sometimes.
As Chloe picked up another card, Beca groaned and asked "Seriously, Chloe? It's not that difficult; just pick one and stick some cash in it and she'll love it. I still don't understand why you can't just buy her something. How can someone hate presents?"
"Bree does and I don't question it. She hates surprises and I'd rather her buy something that she wants than be stuck with something that I like." Chloe shrugged as she flung the card back onto the shelf and looked at another, reading over it and smiling brightly. "Ooh! Read this one!"
Beca flipped open the card and nearly gagged at the sentimental message printed on the inside, but knew that it was perfect for Chloe. As she closed it and tried not to laugh, she looked up and saw that Chloe was teary eyed and smiling. Beca raised an eyebrow at her as a laugh tumbled from her mouth and Chloe exclaimed "I just love Christmas so much! This is the best time of year and she's going to love it! Now come on, let's check out and grab some lunch somewhere. It'll be my treat since you put up with me all afternoon."
As Beca took a bite of her BLT, she caught Chloe's eye and teased "So, I didn't see anything for me in your cart. Did you forget about it or did you already buy me something? I kinda have big expectations for this present, especially after seeing what you bought the rest of the Bellas."
Chloe swallowed her mouthful of salad and smiled at the gall of Beca for asking that. She liked it when the girl loosened up and allowed herself to be playful. That was her favorite shade of Beca and as Beca raised an eyebrow at her and sipped her soda, Chloe smirked and asked "Well, you are kinda special and someone that is special deserves their own shopping trip. I've actually had your gift ready for a while now and I don't like to toot my own horn, but it's pretty amazing. It can't compare to a gift card though..."
The look on Chloe's face caused Beca's heart to pound heavily and her stomach to spaz out. She looked so beautiful and relaxed and happy and Beca wanted to sit there all day with her. She wanted so badly to touch her, but instead settled on swiping a crouton from the edge of her salad. As Chloe started to protest, she chomped on it and quipped "You'll just have to find out what I got you, Beale. I might just surprise you after all."
Beca sat by herself at the Christmas party and felt a little disappointed at how the night had gone so far. She had been there for an hour and wanted desperately to go back to her room and pack, but she couldn't bring herself to move. Chloe had gone on a booze run before she had arrived late to the party and she couldn't leave without giving the girl her present.
Besides her favorite person being absent, Beca was also a little disappointed at what the other girls had given her. While she appreciated receiving anything at all, it was no secret that she went through tons of flash drives with her music and each of the girls had bought her one. She knew that she hadn't opened up that much to the other girls and that they were probably at a loss for what to get her, but she had hoped for a little creativity or at least a nice surprise. As she looked down at her haul though, she couldn't blame them considering the lack of thought that had gone into her own gifts. This was karma and it wasn't like she didn't need them, so she shoved the feelings of disappointment to the back of her head and tried not to smile as Chloe finally walked into the auditorium.
She was carrying a large keg in her arms and as she placed it heavily on the floor with a loud clunk, she caught Beca's eye from across the room and made a bee-line towards her friend. On the way over though, she got sidetracked by Stacie and pulled the tall brunette in for a bear hug as she thanked Chloe over and over for the lotion and perfumes. Beca felt a little jealous as she watched Chloe touch the girl and realized then that Chloe was touchy with everyone. She had thought that those types of hugs were just reserved for her, but as Chloe melted into the girl's arms and chatted happily with her, Beca realized that there was nothing special in their shared touches. It was all one sided and her eyes became a little misty as Chloe pulled away from her and walked over to Beca.
Chloe knew instantly that something was up with Beca and snaked an arm around her waist as she slid onto the chair next to her. Beca was quiet and Chloe gave her a hug, trying to break the girl out of her sadness. Beca didn't say anything though and Chloe softly murmured "Let's get out of here. I want you to open my present and it's still kind of warm out, so let's go outside for a bit. Come on."
She extended a hand towards the DJ and pulled her off of her chair, leading her out the back exit of the building and sitting with her on the back steps. Beca hadn't said anything yet and as Chloe thrust a small wrapped package into her hands, she looked a little anxious and said "Are you okay? You look a little sad and I hope that I didn't do anything."
"No, you didn't do anything wrong." Beca ran her fingers over the nice wrapping paper, tracing the design and picking at the tape. "I'm just going to miss this place and you guys and I really don't want to go home."
Chloe smiled sadly at her and watched as Beca averted her eyes and tore the paper off of the package. Her mouth fell open when she saw the MP3 player beneath the paper and gasped "Chlo, you shouldn't have. This must have cost you a bunch of money and it's way too much. I can't accept this."
"It's not that big of a deal", Chloe replied while shaking her head. "I couldn't believe that someone that loves music as much as you does doesn't have a MP3 player and that had to be fixed. Besides, I want you to have something to listen to on the plane ride home tomorrow. I made you a playlist, but I don't want you to listen to it until you're in the air and on your way. Do you like it?"
"Yeah, I love it", Beca answered with teary eyes. "Here, mine isn't nearly as great as yours but at least it's not a gift card."
Chloe smiled and opened up her present, instantly enveloping Beca in a hug once she saw the contents. It was a simple picture frame, since Chloe loved taking photos and had tons stashed around her side of her dorm room, and a flash drive with a label on it that simply said Chloe. They were simple gifts, but it was the thought behind them that mattered and since Beca never volunteered her music for the other girls to listen to, it was kind of a big step for her.
"Thank you!" Chloe pulled away, grinning at Beca. "I've been waiting for you to make me a mix and I'm sure that it's amazing. Can I play it now? I have my laptop in my bag and we could listen to it together."
"No, I want you to listen to it later when you're alone. It's just...I hate to watch people when they listen to my stuff and I made this just for you and you're the only person I want to listen to it. I'm sorry if that's weird..." Beca trailed off, her face flushing with embarrassment.
"No, it's fine and I totally understand. It's getting a little cold out and we should probably head in. What time should I pick you up tomorrow morning?" Chloe asked while pulling herself to her feet with a groan.
As they stood up and Chloe wrapped an arm around her back, Beca allowed herself to relax and softly said "My flight leaves at eight so we should probably leave here at around five. If you'll bring the car, I'll bring the coffee!"
"Deal! Now, let's go inside and take a picture so I can have something nice to put in this frame."
It was super early and Beca was exhausted as she played with the edges of her jacket and tried to stay awake. She hated flying and combined with her exhaustion from getting back to her room late last night, she was miserable. Chloe was sipping coffee next to her as they waited for the plane to be ready to board and Beca wasn't all that surprised at how solemn Chloe was. She hadn't said much since she picked Beca up outside of her dorm and Beca didn't blame her. She didn't want to be alone for the holidays and all of her friends would be leaving in the coming days and it would suck. Beca desperately wished to be able to stay with her, but she had promised her mom that she would come home and she needed to have at least one of her parent's happy with her before her final grades came through.
As Beca started to doze off, Chloe squeezed her leg and said "I listened to your mix last night. It was really great, Bec. I like to listen to music whenever I fall asleep and it was perfect. Did you listen to my playlist yet?"
Beca shook her head as her hand gripped the MP3 player tucked safely in her pocket and softly replied "No, you told me to wait until I was on the plane. I'm glad you like it, Chlo. It means a lot to hear that from you."
"Well, I have good taste. Speaking of taste, who am I going to talk about music with for four weeks? Who am I going to complain about Aubrey with and waste time with on campus when we should be studying or rehearsing? I'm really going to miss you, Beca."
She pulled the girl in for a tight hug and Beca felt her eyes become teary at Chloe's words. No one had ever missed her before and the longing in her heart only grew as she realized that she wasn't alone. She would miss Chloe so much and it was nice to know that Chloe felt the same way.
As she pulled away as the announcement rung out for her flight to start boarding, she wrapped her jacket around herself a little tighter and responded "No one has ever really missed me before. I'm going to miss you too, but we can text and Skype and you have my number. Anytime you want to talk about anything, just call me up and you'll have my ear. I should probably get going. Thank you for driving me over."
Chloe nodded as she stood in front of the girl and buttoned up her jacket so she wouldn't be cold when she landed in Michigan. Once she was content with her job, she rubbed Beca's arms gently and whispered "Have a nice flight, Bec. I'll see you in a month."
Beca smiled sadly back at the girl and walked to her gate, fumbling with her hands and begging her feet to go forward and not stop and turn back around. She had to leave and as much as she wanted to stay, she knew that she couldn't.
As she neared the terminal, Chloe yelled out "Skype me as soon as you get home!"
Beca smiled back at the girl and nodded, before handing her ticket to the attendant and waving to her as she lingered at the entrance. Chloe waved back and Beca blinked back her tears as she walked down the tunnel and back to her old life.
Christmas was almost over when Beca arrived back on campus, but she didn't mind as she thrust a fifty into the cab driver's hand and ran across campus with her stuff. She didn't stop running until she reached Chloe's dorm and as she knocked on the door, she prayed that Chloe had kept her word and stayed on campus for the holidays.
After a few moments, Chloe opened the door and let her mouth fall open as she saw Beca standing there with her bags on the floor and her arms full of eggnog and sandwiches that she had picked up at the local mini-mart. Chloe stumbled with her words and once she calmed herself down a little, she smiled at Beca and her eyes twinkled with happiness.
"You're supposed to be in Michigan right now. What is Beca Mitchell doing outside my dorm room on Christmas night? You're supposed to be tucked in front of the fire, watching cheesy movies and spending time with your family."
"I got tired of my mom after about a week", Beca replied with a shrug. "My mom was okay with it and even paid for my ticket. I guess she just wanted to see me happy and I wasn't happy at home. I did the whole Christmas morning thing with her and had dinner with her and her new boyfriend and then I flew back here. I know it's late, but I didn't want you to be alone on Christmas."
"Beca...that's the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I can't believe you flew the whole way back here on Christmas." Chloe's eyes were teary and she swiped them with the back of her hand before continuing. "So, now that you're here, what do you want to do? We could watch Elf! It's on right now and you can sleepover! Let me help you with your stuff."
Chloe picked up Beca's luggage and as they walked into the room, Beca grinned when she heard her mix playing over the muted TV. She handed Chloe a sandwich and said "I didn't know if you ate or anything, so I got this at the gas station. It probably sucks, but at least it's something."
Chloe took the sandwich from her gratefully and as she sunk onto her bed and grinned up at Beca, Beca felt her heart melt and her head spin. She was so glad to be back in Georgia and she never thought that she would say that.
The girls ate and talked about their presents and watched Christmas movies all night long until they were too tired to stay up any longer. Beca asked Chloe to play the playlist that she had put on the MP3 player and as the mellow sounds of Snow Patrol filled the air, Beca leaned into Chloe and start to fall asleep.
As Chloe slipped away first, Beca couldn't help but smile as she thought about everything. She was in a dreary dorm room on the happiest day of the year, tucked in tightly under a heavy blanket and practically spooning her crush on the tiny bed as she slipped into her dreams. She was warm and comfortable and the thumping in her chest only reminded her of the reason that she had left Michigan. That girl snoring in her ear was everything to her and as she allowed herself to slip away, she never felt more at home.
A/N: So this took a little longer than planned, but it's super hard to go between this and Breathe Again because they're super different and it conflicts with my feels... Anyway, I wanted to respond to a review I got last chapter from a guest about thing number 6 revealing to Chloe that Beca really doesn't hate her. In my mind, and maybe I didn't convey it well in the first chapter, Chloe only had the journal for a moment and was pretty fixated on the title of the entry. She didn't have enough time to get a good look at what Beca actually wrote, but she kinda has an idea that Beca likes her. As you can tell from this chapter, Chloe likes her back and I think that shouldn't really be a surprise since the tension and flirting between the two of them has increased with each chapter.
Anyway, I hope to have this updated again by early next week at the latest and if you read Breathe Again that will be updated tomorrow. I have a couple other ideas in my head and I hope to publish them soon as well. One's about hockey (which I'll probably be the only person that likes it) and the other is a fluffy romance one-shot and maybe a smut... I don't know though, that kind of weirds me out to write. Plus, I came up with something last night and it's pretty dark, but I can't get it out of my head. So, I have a bunch of stuff planned but I definitely won't be neglecting this fic. Thanks for reading!