A/N: I initially planned to divide this into two chapters but decided against it because my workload just got heavier and it will take a longer time before I can update again :( I deeply thank those who reviewed and put me and this story in their favorites and alerts list. Really, it's an honor!

Special mention to these lovelies: Padfoot Starfyre, Minniemiss123 (i love you to bits huhu), ArrowBee, Takumisa17, Samara16

Just another note that this fanfic is loosely based on the manga.

Happy reading!

TADAIMA

只今

(I'm home)

Usui Takumi never intended for any of this to happen. He just wanted to see her so much...he longed for her presence; just having caught sight even just a bit of her, it would be more than enough for him.

He had set out to her house with the memory of her everyday schedule engraved in his mind from all those months of stalking her before they have come upon this. Before they officially dated, he already knew what days and time her shifts in Maid Latte were, what time she would usually come home after classes, what days she would usually spend the hours till late at night in school while doing her duties as president…he knew everything about her.

That's why he was sure she would long be inside her house by this time, so he had the confidence in him to come here without getting caught by any of the Ayuzawa's. He had longed so much to see her since this past month...ever since she bid him goodbye at his doorstep; hell, even just her shadow from the curtains of her room would be more than enough to satiate his desire for her presence.

But it came as a shock to him to find her outside, looking still as beautiful as ever in her Seika uniform. He stood at his spot, unmoving. He saw her clench her fists at her sides. Both of them had just been standing in front of each other, just a few meters in between them.

He looked at her with controlled intensity behind his emerald eyes.

"Why did you have to lie to me?" Her eyes welled up but she was clenching her jaw too much, just to stop her tears from falling. Takumi controlled himself from reaching for her and trapping her in his arms.

"You said you'd mistaken me for someone else. But you knew my name…" Misaki took a step closer to him. "You called me Misaki."

Her heart was about to burst out from her chest, she didn't think she could take its loud and fast beating anymore. Her mind only consisted of incoherent thoughts as of the moment, but she was sure only of one thing. This man had something to do with her; she was sure there was something missing and the gaps in her memory only served as affirmation of this inkling.

Takumi stood frozen at his spot, looking only at her. He only waited for her to come closer and she did. Misaki put up her arms and clenched his shirt in her fists. "Tell me the truth...please."

He couldn't say anything; he didn't know what to say. His state of mind grew blank, one of the rare times for him since all his life, it was always bombarded with thoughts, with observations, with doubts...with loneliness. Being with Misaki though, it was always like that for him - she cleared his mind of thoughts that would make him shut himself from the world; she would always do the most unexpected of things and it would just leave him speechless, completely defeated by this woman who stared at him right now with eyes full of mad desperation. Too much of his time spent with her had his mind been stripped hollow, his heart forced to surrender to this girl.

He felt her hands tremble, despite its tight grasp on the white jacket of his uniform. He waited in vain; it was always the calm before the storm. He looked down at the raven-haired, her head lowered as he was sure she was trying hard not to let him see her tears.

"I tried to deny it, that it's not that important. But I know- I know that I've forgotten an important part of my life! There's something missing and I've felt this absence so painfully even while doing the most mindless of tasks - eating ramen, pocky, jump ropes, empty tables, fireworks! I hate that everytime I ask, everyone would just dismiss it as if it was nothing but I know that it's NOT nothing! What I hate more is that I don't know what I don't know! I keep having these hallucinations and I hate it the most that I've forgotten about something that I know I can't live without. It's not the same! I lied to myself but it's really not the same as before!"

She started pounding her fists against his hard chest but Takumi wasn't even moved a bit from his spot. He clenched his jaw as he slipped into a state of numbness as the girl he loved continued her ministrations against him. He felt like dying because he cannot take this sight anymore.

"Fuck this."

He pulled her head back with much more force than he intended to, but the tremble of his fingers just made it impossible for him to control his actions any longer. He swooped down and crashed his lips against hers, having her taste that he had longed for so much for a long time. His hands have lowered themselves and settled on her waist, pulling her closely until they can both feel all the nooks and crannies of the surfaces of their bodies. It reminded him of those times when she was still his, those times they spent at his apartment just touching each other without boundaries, just reveling in the feeling of each other's warmth as they push themselves against each other, drowning in their love.

He felt her fingers entangle in his hair and it just hit home for him - when she's in his arms. Their lips never left each other as they both tangled continuously, seemingly never getting enough. He pulled them both towards her house, kicking the gates with his foot and ascending the steps to the door. He broke away in a mad rush, turning the doorknob as fast as possible before he pulled Misaki with him inside the dark area. Without flipping the lights on, he pushed her to the wall and buried his tongue into her wet cavern once again, the mere seconds of leaving it enough to drive him mad. He parted her legs with his knee as his hands moved to open her green jacket. He threw it to the side, leaving her lips for a moment to let her breathe. He cupped her cheek with his hand, finding her amber eyes using the fading light that entered the translucent glass windows on their door. His other hand started unbuttoning her white blouse, slowly as he took this moment to just revel in this sight of her all flushed and panting.

"Usui," she placed her hand on top of his hand that was unbuttoning her blouse, "tell me the truth, first."

It was enough to snap him back into reality. The reality wherein there was no longer him and her. The reality where they existed as separate beings.

"You want to know the truth?" the tone of his voice danced dangerously on a cliff's edge, "Yes, you've forgotten about me, Ayuzawa. I've caused you so much pain and it drove me insane to see you like that."

Misaki looked at him, feeling her tears falling from her eyes once again. She forgot about him. Why did she forget about him?

"I don't want to hurt you ever again. It's my fault this time but please…let's not see each other anymore."

Without any warning, he left her there in the dark. Misaki could only watch his retreating form before he closed the door behind him. The sight of him leaving her pained her; the mind-numbing pain once again threatened to crush her head. She slumped down on the ground, lying there and slightly thanking that her head was hurting more than her heart.

The white flashes began. His chest was bare. They were in a linen room.

"When I become a third year, I am transferring to Miyabigaoka."

This time his face was clear.

It was Usui Takumi.

The image was bright before her eyes. The hallucinations stopped. She found herself back in a reality wherein she was in a darkness where he had left her alone.

She pushed herself to move past the stairs and into her room, throwing her body onto her bed. She just wants to shut herself away from the world for now.

The feeling of having forgotten someone important left a gnawing feeling within her, a weird kind of hysteria that taunts her continuously.

What more doesn't she know?

Just how much memory of Usui Takumi had she lost?

She felt her dire need for him when their bodies touched, the mere feeling of his lips on hers enough to set a fire within that continuously burned with passion as she felt his hands on her body, lighting every nerve it touched on her skin. It was as if she has awoken from a sleep that has kept her lulled all this time. She wasn't able to control herself when that moment came; her mind just went blank and focused on his ministrations on her.

Truthfully, there was this unknown source of longing within her for him to have her (something she didn't quite understood), her need for him that has seemingly dulled became increasingly insatiate with his kisses. Her whole being screamed for it, but she knows, she needs to remember first. She needs to retrieve her memories of him.

Her hands automatically reached for the yellow post-it note she kept in her drawer, having returned it to its original place after the head-splitting pains toned down minimally to a degree. She looked at the words written on the paper.

These were basic and very much well-known facts to her. Why was there a need to do this to start with?

Her suspicions of everything around her started piling up again as she tried to remember the approximate date she found this paper on her bedside table.

She remembered it as that day when she woke up, feeling all tingly and half-dead. And then, Usui Takumi came knocking at their door - around that time was when the headaches started. He confirmed the absence that she has knowingly felt to the fact that she has forgotten him. But how was she able to?

Maybe it could have the answer as to how she can be able to retrieve her lost memories of him.

Her storm of thoughts came to a halt as something clicked in her mind.

January 4

Still, no one was in the house now; but the remnants of their heated moment of passion a few hours ago still hung in the gloomy atmosphere of their house. In the darkness, she pushed her way to Suzuna's room and retrieved the envelope from her closet.

There it was. The date was stamped at the upper corner of the envelope together with it.

Hajime Clinic

Tokyo, Japan

January 4

The image of his retreating back once again flashed in her mind. And right then, she knew she wouldn't want to feel that kind of pain again; it was too much for her to bear.

She's not going to let it happen again.

"He held my hand throughout the whole game because it was required, you see. And when it ended and he s-separated his hand from mine...i-it was the first time that I was genuinely scared to get separated from him and I...I just wanted to hold his hand again immediately after that."

Takumi inhaled deeply, taking in her scent from his muffler. He stayed still, lying on his couch in the darkness of his apartment, his only source of light from the city lights outside which shone so bright - a stark contrast to his world...it was a cruel reminder for him.

Misaki's voice played in the background. He had bought a cassette player the other week just to be able to play out the tape of her session; just to be able to remind himself of what he had done to her that year when he disappeared from her life. He was clutching both the camera and necklace in one hand. He needed to remind himself that things were not the same as he had left them a year ago. He needed to push away the thoughts of getting Ayuzawa Misaki back and living out his selfish life again.

Why did he have to live this life?

Why can't he just have the girl he loved and not think about the consequences it awaits?

Why did his family have to reappear in his life and destroy all the chances of him finding his own happiness?

His apartment, quite similar to his life right now, was a mess. He had Misaki's pictures (the ones he had printed out from the camera) laid out all over his coffee table. The box, which formerly contained the objects Misaki brought for the procedure, was thrown somewhere in a corner, in his sudden fit of rage and frustration when he had come back from her house earlier. The newly-bought cassette player sat awkwardly on his kitchen countertop, its obvious demise in its position evident from the mindless actions he did a while ago in mad desperation in looking for something to quiet his fury.

"I l-loved him and I told him that night… how I felt. I really thought we could stay together through what was happening that time…"

He had calmed down when he was able to hear her voice, despite the reality of her words in the sound recording. He never understood how his body and mind functioned around her. When she smiles, his heart unconsciously flutters; when she got mad at him, he feels the rush of adrenaline within him; when she got tired, he just wanted to pull her to his arms and take care of her.

She was saying all the time that she was always beaten by him, that he was easily better than her. She was wrong though... it was him who had lost. It was him who had completely surrendered to her. It was not just her fierce beauty, nor the fire that lighted within her, nor her beautiful soul...it was all of her being. He had completely surrendered himself defenseless; she had crushed down the walls he built around himself from the world without her even knowing it.

He was engulfed in the silence of his agony for a few moments before a loud series of knocks echoed through the darkness of his apartment. He initially ignored it but the persistence of the sound soon irritated him that he got up and stomped his way to the door.

He pulled open the door as harshly as he could and it was then that he had stopped breathing. His heart drummed loudly against his chest.

"I thought I said we shouldn't see each other anymore?" The coldness in his voice cut through the tense air between them. It came as a surprise to him even, he wanted to bite his tongue back the moment it dawned on him. But he berated himself that if this was the only way to effectively cut ties with her to prevent further damage, he would force himself through it.

It hurt him when pain momentarily flashed across Misaki's eyes but she groaned and her amber eyes seemed to light up in fire as she clenched her fists at her side.

She hated that he was the one making decisions for the both of them. Was he also like that before? It drove her mad...furious that he was going on like that.

"I don't need your fucking sincerity nor your sympathy! Make me remember you again! For all I care! I'll decide for myself if I'll forget about you then and I'll be the one to decide whether I should see you again or not!"

Takumi ran his hand through his hair in frustration; she was being stubborn again.

"Leave."

It was there again. Misaki could see it in his eyes; he was always like that when they were together. His jaw was clenched tightly, emerald eyes deep set into an expression of controlled intensity. He was suppressing himself again.

She took a step towards him, grabbing his shirt with a tight grasp and pulled him closer to her. She looked up at him, golden eyes boring a hole into his soul.

"You don't need to suppress yourself anymore."

In a short moment of shock, the world seemed to go into reverse...everything seemed to turn the other way around. He put his arms around her and engulfed her petite body to his, clutching to her as if she's his lifeline. She had taken in a sharp gasp. He pulled back and planted a kiss on her forehead, he just wants her and nothing more. She's the only one he needs in order to live in this world.

"I'm sorry, Misaki." He repeated it so many times, the words he uttered out just never seemed enough to make up for the pain that he had caused her. "I'm sorry for leaving you."

He buried his face into her hair, engulfing her scent that he kept on searching for during those nights when he was alone, when he increasingly felt the pain of her absence in his life each night he fell asleep alone and would wake up the next day still the same. He has successfully kept it all in until now. He gave out to the urge of his feelings, sobbing with his face hidden from her, until now he refused to let her see his agony because he didn't deserve it.

Misaki pulled out from his arms first and lead them both into the darkness of his apartment, moving towards the couch in his living room. She sat them both down; she was the one with the lost memories, but he was the one who seemed so lost right now. She reached up for his face and run her thumb across his cheek, the trace of his tears still evident.

"Let's fix this." They both needed some healing, she can see it in their current position. He seemed so broken in front of her and it caused a tightening in her chest to see him like this. "God, I must have loved you so much to feel like this."

She watched him make out a small grin in the dark.

"I don't think I'd take it if I lose you again."Takumi looked at her ever so tenderly, fondly remembering how times like these used to be, not much different than what's happening right now. She was still the one who mediated their confrontations as it has always been; with his introverted nature, he has the tendency to shut his feelings inside and she would just unknowingly bring them out.

"Tell me everything," she told him, coming to lean on his shoulder as she craved to lessen the distance between them. Not knowing where this boldness is coming from, she just went with the flow and intertwined her fingers with his, sighing out in content at the warmth his hand gave her.

Takumi brought up their entwined fingers to his lips and planted a kiss on the smooth skin of her hand. "Well…I don't know if you remember it all yet, but we started out when I caught you in your part time job, wearing that cute little maid outfit of yours." He chuckled as he remembered the horror that crossed her face that day. "I was always interested in you even before that, just your image as the Demon President of Seika High turned me on; I always wondered how wild you would be in bed."

He laughed out loud as he felt a strong hit to his arm and found Misaki fuming mad, face red and fists clenching, "You perverted alien!"

He pulled her head back to his shoulder again and continued, "No, I was really interested in you. But I didn't have the nerve to pursue you then. It was only after I caught you in Maid Latte that I became determined to do it. You were so dense, though Misa-chan...you kept on denying your feelings for me for a long time."

"You finally confessed your undying love to me that Christmas night and then we dated." He run his fingers through her silky raven hair, just reveling in the feeling of deep contentment to have her back in his arms again. He planted a kiss on her head and breathed out deeply. This was more than enough.

"And then...?" Misaki looked up at him and waited for more. Takumi took a moment of silence before continuing, preparing himself to relive the memories of which broke them apart.

"My family wasn't in approval of our relationship. My brother threatened me with your life if I didn't stay away from you."

Misaki tried in vain to keep up with his story but failed. "But why? You introduced me to them and they didn't like me?" She waited for his response but received nothing but silence as he looked into space, deep in his thoughts. She felt this was a barely touched territory for the both of them before, and resigned to pushing her questions to silence. "I guess I should wait for that part of my memory to come back first. You don't need to tell me… I'm sure you already did before."

"No, it's not that. It's something I haven't told you yet. And it was the cause of my leaving you," he told her, not removing his gaze on the floor. He moved so that they now faced each other and he cupped her face with his hands as he planted a chaste kiss on her lips. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Misaki. Seeing you in pain was something I cannot bear looking at, same as the vision of you not being by my side anymore. But I've come to know that losing you is something I can't afford to happen again and I would do everything just to keep you by my side."

She placed her hands over his on her face, grasping and bringing them down. She brought up a hand and ran her fingers through his smooth blonde hair. "It's over now. Just don't leave me again, okay?"

He nodded and kissed her sweetly.

"I just love you so much," he whispered against her lips before deepening their kiss as he slipped his tongue into her wet cavern, sighing in relief from having her sweet taste. He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him until she rested on his lap, straddling him. She encircled her arms around his neck, burying her fingers into his hair as he trailed light kisses down her jaw. He nibbled on every surface of her skin his lips encountered, planting light kisses from time to time; he went down her neck planting small love bites along his way and groaning out as he heard her soft whimpers from his ministrations. His hands slightly moved up, just above the small of her back as he pushed her chest to him and planted small butterfly kisses on her collar bones. He moved to her shoulder and bit her gently, feeling her arching her back and pushing her chest closer to him.

He pulled back a little and started unbuttoning her white blouse, locking his eyes with hers all the while, seemingly asking for permission to continue. She responded in a way she expressed her longing desire for him and planted a chaste yet passionate kiss on his lips. It wasn't long that she pulled away before he reached out for her lips again with his own. He reached behind her inside her blouse and unclasped her bra when he had unbuttoned her blouse down to her stomach. He worked down slowly from her lips, to her neck and to her chest before he buried his face into her soft and supple skin. He started his ministrations on them giving heated licks and soft bites to each as she pushed herself more to his body while digging her fingers into his hair.

"Takumi…" she moaned out. He pulled back a bit to take a look at her flushed face; he found her heaving deep and uneven breaths with her head slightly lowered down. She took this brief moment to unbutton his black blouse and throw it to an unknown corner of his apartment in the dark. She ran her hands down the defined planes of his chest until they rested on his torso, dangerously close to the button of his white pants.

They looked at each other, half-naked and panting in the heat caused by the other. He kissed her once again and knew that she wanted it too, by the way she responded. He reached for the foil package from the drawer beside his couch.

They pushed into each other, with no boundaries between them. She clawed his back and it was the pain from this that Takumi realized that he finally had her back. He was home again.

He gripped her thighs as they looked into each other's eyes.

"I've missed you so." He kissed her sweetly as they both gave in to the longing passion that controlled their whole being.

She lied on top of him, her head directly above his chest with the beating of his heart lulling her to sleep.

"That wasn't our first time, right?" she muttered out, tracing lazy circles on his skin.

"Oh, I assure you we took care of that long ago. No surface in this apartment stayed untouched when we were doing it." he chuckled as he felt her bury her face deeper into his chest in what he was sure was because of embarrassment. He place his hand on the back of her head and smoothed down her disheveled hair. His other arm, which initially rested at the back of his head moved to graze the skin of her lower back, running it up and down along the curve.

They laid there on the couch just burying themselves in each other's warmth. There were still unanswered questions, but right now, they just basked in the feeling of contentment for being able to find their way to each other again.

"Tadaima, Takumi," she whispered, a gentle smile drawn on her face as she looked back up towards his face and ran her thumb across his cheek.

"Welcome back."

This is probably my favorite chapter up to date. How was it? :) Please do leave a review reader-san! The 50th review mark is near hohoho