"Malfoy Manor," the Witch said softly to herself. "Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
She wasn't sure what to call herself, but there she was, dressed in black dragon leather that was so tight it was form fitting and had to be charmed for comfort and support because anything under it would be seen. It had expansion charms that couldn't be seen by viewers, but she was quite aware of. This was the sixth house she'd hit and it was starting to get addicting. There was something about taking from these people who hurt her so much that made everything...so right!
She realized that she was probably going to be sacked from the owl-room, but at this point she didn't care. She could sleep during the day and ignore everything until nightfall. There was a whole other magical world to explore and for the first time, she wasn't afraid to try.
She knew this one would be more difficult than the Parkinson house, but she wanted the challenge. She just saw it like finals at the end of the year. She'd been studying all week, completed the practice exams, and now it was time for the final. She couldn't wait to hear about Draco Malfoy, when he realized his father's precious possessions were gone.
She'd taken a chance going in through the roof, but something she'd realized in the Wizarding world is that for all its obsession with brooms and flight, they rarely looked up if it wasn't a game. Using a leaping charm she'd found in one of her many books, the catsuited witch leapt with supreme grace from the ground up to the fourth floor, landing with barely a sound. There were four dormers on each side as it was identical from each angle, so it was only logical to use a simple sticking charm to let her climb around and then the claws on her fingers sprung out and carefully picked away at the ancient sealant on the windows, letting one tiny pane fall out. She deftly caught it before it could fall. Then it was simplicity itself to unlock the window and lower herself inside.
The attic was unused and blatantly so. Beds for servants lined each wall, bunked two high. The brightest witch of her age suddenly realized that this was originally a muggle house.
{ Perhaps the Malfoys aren't as pureblooded as they wanted everyone to believe, } she reflected to herself before deciding to continue on with her self-assigned tasks.
There were always two sets of stairs for places like this: the primary entrance and the servant's entrance. Nobles and the rich never wanted to see those who washed their clothes or prepared their food, so those people always had their own routes through a house like this. Spotting an ancient trap door, the metal rusted with age, the witch hit it with a grease charm and a silence charm. The door slid open with ease and she slipped down, finding herself in an unfamiliar room.
The primary color was black. Black drapes, black silk bed sheets and a black cloak hanging from the door. Even the wood on the bed and the dresser was black enamel or ebony. The witch thought it was odd that such a magic superiority focused family would have an unenchanted mirror, but a quick glance through the bureau and the vanity revealed little of worth aside from a few rings and a large gaudy locket. The room was clean, but otherwise unlived in. No matter. It was time to explore.
The door was locked from the outside, but a first level "Alohamora" turned the lock's chamber and it clicked open. With a twist of the knob, it swung free, revealing doors upon doors on either side of the hallway which curved around the house. Guest quarters, the witch guessed as she slipped out, closing the door behind her.
She should have been more careful and checked the door.
The hallway turned into stairs headed down and continued on the same floor off to one side. On a whim, she slid down the railing and landed on the second floor. This was clearly more lived in. Tapestries clung to the walls. Candelabras hung from the ceiling. Candle sticks made of gold lit the way. It was tempting to simply strip the room clean, but she didn't have room for everything. The candlesticks she tucked into the expanded pocket in her cleavage, leaving no impression that she carried anything that they couldn't already see. Wasn't magic wonderful?
The house was deserted, so the Witch took what she wished: a painting there, a statue here. There were hollow spaces on the walls where possessions once were. Anyone walking through would know they'd been robbed. It was time to find the Malfoy Vault and then maybe the library. You never knew what kind of magic these people were keeping for themselves.
Lucius Malfoy was pleased with himself. He didn't care about the deaths, at all. He'd blame them on the Batman after the fact. That bounty would get him what he wanted, now that he finally had that Bones woman under his thumb. She'd been a problem since the time she graduated from the academy, and when she'd attained her current post mere days before Fudge was confirmed as Minister, it had entrenched her fully. His pawn in the Minister's seat would have lost face if he'd replaced such a successful and respected person so soon after he took office. It would have made him look weak and stupid, so Malfoy had let her continue on in her position. But he needed that bounty to continue. The more people who died, the worse the Batman looked.
And the Batman was dangerously popular with people who weren't his people.
That wasn't something Lucius Malfoy could let stand. He was waiting to hear if Bones was going to be stupid when a green face appeared in the fireplace.
"Malfoy! Where's my son?" Nott Sr. bellowed into the flames.
"Nott, he's at Hogwarts, where else?" Malfoy argued.
"He was supposed to contact me, but Umbridge won't answer the floo," Nott countered. "You've got some scheme going, and if you've got my son caught up in it..."
He let the threat hang.
"Fine," snarled Malfoy, flicking his wand to lower the wards on the fireplace. "Enter."
Tall, thin, elderly, Nott strode through the flames and into the Malfoy Manor. "What are you up to?"
"Rather blunt tonight, aren't we?"
"Do not toy with me, you upstart," Nott snarled back, mere inches from the blond wizard's face. "I was playing this game before you were even born. I know a desperate man when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now."
"Bones needed to learn her place," snarled Malfoy, throwing himself back into his chair.
"Is this about that Batman freak again?"
Malfoy's head whipped up in something nearing shock, but he was certainly surprised. Nott waved his hand.
"Do you think you're the only one who's concerned? And besides, you're always talking about it," Nott derided.
"Bones had gotten Fudge to remove the bounty because a few people died," Malfoy scoffed.
"Over a hundred," Nott said, tapping his cane impatiently on the floor. "Those are numbers people are starting to notice, Malfoy!" he sneered at the younger man. "You're losing control and we can all see it. The sharks are circling, but you're the one who's swimming, Malfoy. Parkinson's already broken off his engagement of his daughter to your son. They're already cutting you loose. If you fail at this..."
He trailed off and delighted in the furious look on his companion's face. But instead of responding, Malfoy held up a hand. "Someone just came through the wards."
"They're here for the Bones girl," Nott said.
"How did you know?" Malfoy asked, surprised.
"Please, there's nothing else you could threaten Bones with," Nott derided. "You aren't nearly as clever as you think you are, Malfoy."
"It's unwise to insult a man in his own home, but I've unexpected guests, so this shall have to wait," Malfoy growled. "She's in the dungeon. The other entrance is through here."
"Lead the way," Nott growled. "We both know what it is."
The Witch listened closely as her final lockbreaking spell let the last bolt free and the heavy vault door swung open towards her. Unfortunately, it wasn't a vault, but a long hallway, shrouded in darkness. With a slight growl of frustration, she started off into the darkness. Luckily for her, she'd enchanted her goggles for nightvision and soon the ambient light lit up the area. The hall sloped down and turned before a large vault, door not unlike those at Gringott's, which covered another area.
The Witch did her practice of unlocking each bolt individually to minimize sound and what not and before long, she turned the massive wheel and the door pushed inward.
She wasn't in a vault.
Instead, it was a room with a redhead tied to a chair. She could see the girl wasn't wearing anything and her sobs shook her rather impressive cleavage.
"Ha! I wondered if you'd be this stupid," snarled the all too familiar voice of Lucius Malfoy. "You know, Batman, I didn't think you'd be-" he cut himself off as he realized the black clad figure was decidedly NOT the Batman. "Who are you? Where's the Batman?"
"Right here," growled a voice right being Malfoy's left ear. Spinning around he realized Nott was nowhere to be seen, having been replaced by the black cowled vigilante. Like all the others, he went for his wand and found himself in a personal meeting with the Batman's fist. "Where's Susan Bones, Malfoy?"
"Right there," Malfoy cackled, pointing over his shoulder at the girl in the chair.
"Please, that's your house elf with a glamour," the Batman growled. Lucius grinned.
"Did you really think I'd lay a trap and not have it set?" Lucius asked as black clad wizards in white skull masks filled in from adjoining rooms. "I have the girl, what have you got?"
Gauntlets grasped robes as Malfoy was picked up off the ground.
"You," replied the Batman.
"This sounds like a private discussion," the witch in the catsuit said, "I'll be leaving."
She started to move away until five wands focused on her. She held up her hands. "Or here, here is fine."
The Batman gave his hostage a shake before he turned to the newer arrivals. "Do you think you're getting paid for this?"
"This isn't about money, you imbecile," Malfoy taunted as he spat blood in his attacker's face. "This is about power, and those who should rightfully have it!"
"Tell me, Malfoy," the Batman said conversationally as if he wasn't still hefting the dark wizard by his robes. "It's three AM, do you know where your son is?"
"What?"
"It's a simple question," the Batman replied. "Where's little Draco?"
"He's at Hogwarts...isn't he?" Malfoy asked, suddenly uncertain.
"Is he?" asked the Batman with a slight smirk.
"You're bluffing."
"Am I?"
"You-" Malfoy cut himself off, growing more unsure of his position.
"How'd you like to lose you little boy, Lucius?" The Batman continued to hold him up as if the Batman wasn't expending any real effort. "He's your pet project, the extension of your will and influence, your sequel, your masterpiece. And yet you send him every year to a place that you have no immediate control over. So do you know? Do you really know where he is?"
Malfoy growled, throwing his head back to glare at the assembled Death Eaters. "Just kill them already!"
And then the Death Eaters fell unconscious. The woman in the catsuit had wisely cast a bubble-head charm, something the others didn't think to do.
"What? How?" Malfoy asked, confused.
"If I was going to lay a trap, did you really think I wouldn't have it set?" the Batman asked, throwing the dark wizard's previous words right back at him. "WHERE IS THE GIRL?"
"You'll never find her," Malfoy smirked, thinking himself safe. "I've been tortured by a master. You might be the Batman, but you've nothing on the Dark Lord."
"The easy way, then," Batman said before glaring into Malfoy's eyes for a long silent moment. "So, she's in your other dungeon on the other side of the mansion."
"How?"
"I told your friend Walden," the Batman said. "I'm not your enemy. I'm your nightmare."
Malfoy went for his wand, but caught a fist to the face instead. As Malfoy slumped to the ground, unconscious, the Batman turned to glare at the bashful witch in the catsuit.
"Sorry for interrupting your party-" and suddenly he was there.
He grabbed her by the shoulders, making her squirm at the sudden physical contact. He leaned in and Hermione could see the white eyes of the cowl seem to glow. "Look, Miss Kitty, Henrietta Pussycat or whatever you call yourself, if you think this is a game, then you need to go back to the Neighborhood of Make Believe before you get someone killed."
"I screwed up," she said. "I know." Then she smirked. "And I'm thinking of going as Catwoman."
She trailed a finger over his armored chest. "It's been nice, you saving me, and all, but I've gotta go, places to go, people to see, their things to steal."
She moved in to kiss him and her lips touched his, but he never moved except to catch her hand.
"And don't touch the utility belt. It's a little dangerous," he whispered, pulling her fingers away from the pouch with the Fiendfyre napalm grenades. She winked, wiggled her fingers goodbye, and slipped into the shadows.
Batman didn't wait. He charged across the inner courtyard, down the entrance to the former kitchens from before it was a magical mansion. Another robed Death Eater stood over Susan Bones with a look of satisfaction. Batman didn't even bother to say anything and simply decked him across the face, then stunned him three times with a silent wand. Then a medical stripping spell took his clothes off and put them on Susan. The action seemed to waken the girl and she rocked backwards with a jolt at the sudden presence.
"Susan Bones?" the Batman asked. The girl leaned back suspiciously.
"Yeah?"
"It's time to leave," he growled as he picked her up, wrapped her in his cloak and they started for the door. Two identical men in domino masks met them at the front door.
"We got the Munchers, but Malfoy got away," they admitted in unison.
"Anyone else in the mansion?"
The twin on the right opened a piece of parchment and shook their heads. "No, no dots other than the four of us."
"Put me down," Susan ordered. "I can handle myself. Who are you two anyway?"
"I'll carry you," said one.
"No, I will, you couldn't handle a curvy redhead in your arms."
"I've had more experience with this kind of things."
"Little sis doesn't count."
"Oi! Low blow!"
The Batman ignored the two fools, reached into his utility belt and tossed one of the dark metal balls behind him. The playful banter ceased immediately.
"Was that...?" Twin one asked, a wide-eyed look of shock on his face. Batman just looked at them.
"You mean you just...?" asked the second.
"Yes," Batman replied. "Move."
Susan didn't think the Twins apparated, but they were gone an instant later.
From her vantage point in a nearby tree, Catwoman, Hermione Granger watched as the Manor went up in flames. Checking her cleavage, she was happy she'd remembered to grab the library before it burned. She'd have to spend a few days organizing her new pretties. Maybe there's something in there to help her on her way.
Narcissa Malfoy was concerned that her floo address no longer connected. Needless to say, she went to the next closest friendly house and apparated home. In hindsight, she shouldn't have apparated into the house. A maelstrom of fire, smoke and napalm, Malfoy Manor was completely ablaze. With a scream of pain and horror, she apparated back out, but not all of her made it. Her left side of her face was scarred by the flames while her left leg was missing entirely, the Fiendfyre consuming all in its path.
She was found, later, by muggles and rushed to the hospital. It was only her good fortune that the muggle repelling wards fell as the house was consumed. Otherwise, she would have bled out there. The irony that muggles had saved a Malfoy's wife was not lost on the Wizarding world.
Surgery was quick and the process more painless than she expected. Cuts, tweaks, patches and grafts, and she was still alive and recovering quickly, all things considered.
Later, as she sat in the hospital bed, listening to the beeps, the machines that go Ping! and so on, she realized that it was all because of her poor decisions. She had made the decisions. Perhaps next time she'd give Fate a chance.
Omake Ten: Lucy and Traps
"Did you really think I'd lay a trap and not set it?" Lucius Malfoy cackled.
Catwoman looked at the giant piece of cheese placed on a giant mouse trap. Then she turned back to the madman.
"You're an idiot."
Omake Three: Hermione and the Bat
"What do you think of my new flat, Crookshanks?" Hermione asked as she showed the half-Kneasle her new digs. Crookshanks purred approvingly. Everything was top notch and very expensive. Her parents thought she was still going to Hogwarts and getting her NEWTs. When Hermione finally let them visit, she'd simply tell them she got a promotion and that gold is gold when in the muggle world. She picked the cat up and raised him above her head, spinning around as she danced with glee among the shelves of her "liberated" library. She pulled her familiar into her arms and pounced on her bed, only to jump back up in pain.
Flipping off the covers, she found a black Egyptian cat idol and a book. Crookshanks jumped out of her arms and sniffed the cat while Hermione grabbed the book.
"Ward Detecting and Breaking for Dummies by Bill Weasley," she read aloud. She flipped through until the tome opened to a book mark.
So you don't nearly get me killed next time.
-Batman
"Ooo!" Hermione growled as she crumpled the note in her fist.
Crookshanks rubbed up against the black cat and purred.
Omake Thirteen: The Boys Wonder
"I'm Robin-"
"I thought I was Robin?"
"No, you're Nightwing."
"But we're both wearing the same costume!"
"I'll be Rob-Wing and you can be Night-Bin."
"Wait, what were our names again?"
"Okay, I'll be Tim, and you can be Dick."
"I'm a Dick?"
"Yup."
Ron looked left and right as he ate another sandwich. "What about me?"
The Twins share a look as they pondered the possibilities.
"Jason."
"Definitely a Jason."
"Why?" Ron asked around another mouthful of sandwich.
"Well, Ronniekins-"
"-You're the kind of character-"
"-Preteen kids will pay- "
"-To have die."
Ron seemed to ponder that and then nodded.
"Yup," he said. The twins looked on in surprise as they expected him to protest heavily.
"Really?"
"Definitely gonna have another sandwich."