"Nothing too strenuous, just breaking into a government facility" Sherlock said nonchalantly, as if talking about going shopping (though of course he never did that, far too many idiots crowded in one place).
"What?" John spluttered. That almost made Sherlock want to laugh, after all he had done, John was worried about getting arrested for breaking into a little office.
"Relax, John. It's not like we haven't done it before"
"And it ended so well that time. They'd see us straight away. "
Ah, Sherlock thought to himself, he isn't worried about prison at all. He's worried that someone who worked for Moriaty would see him.r
"They won't. We won't be there for long enough"
"And how do you plan on getting in? What is it anyway?"
"They leave a window open at the back, the receptionist is very trusting."
"Fine. But you didn't answer the other question"
"Just the Office of European Exchanges."
"The what?"
"They hold all the records for those who have travelled to the rest of Europe"
"Why do we need those?"
"I need to confirm that Moriarty has definitely left the country"
"Wouldn't he have used a pseudonym?"
"Definitly. But I know all of those too, however I expect that he's travelling under the name of Richard Brookes"
"I swear if I ever get hold of him…"
"I'm never letting that man anywhere near you"
John was still in Sherlock's arms, but he pulled against these restraints so that he could look Sherlock in the eye. "Sherlock. I can protect myself"
Sherlock knew that, John was totally capable of looking after himself. He was a lot more capable of this perhaps, than a lot of other people Sherlock knew.
"I know"
"Then why..?"
"Because I love you"
At those words, John melted into Sherlock, knocking them both over.
"John!" Sherlock exclaimed, laughing.
"Oops. Sorry"
He was now laid with his head on Sherlock's chest. Sherlock found that this was extremely comfortable and he shifted so that he would still be able to keep his arms locked around John. He decided that this was his new favourite position.
They stayed like that for a while, completely silent. John had moved his head, so that his right ear could be placed directly over Sherlock's heart. Sherlock decided that John was doing this as an extra confirmation that he was really here. That he was really alive.
"John?"
"Yes?" he replied, not moving his head.
"Why was it today?"
John looked confused, then his eyes widened in understanding "I told you it took me a long time to come to terms with this, to actually understand how I felt. Then to be okay with it."
"Yes. But why today? You had done that at least 2 weeks ago" Sherlock hadn't know this at the sight of John two weeks ago, but he knew it from looking at John now.
"How do you know tha-. Never mind." He amended sensing that Sherlock was about to go into one of his long deductions. "I guess it was something Mrs Hudson said"
"What?"
"She told me that I need to get over you. She was rather harsher than usual, I suspect that's because I haven't been out of the house in weeks, I took compassionate leave, but that still barely covers the rent"
"But why did that make you-" Sherlock interrupted.
"I was about to explain that" John said a little irritated, then he softened his voice "And I realised that I would never be able to do that"
"What were you planning to do next then, if I hadn't turned up?"
"Nothing."
"Really?"
John was obviously hiding something.
"I wasn't planning on doing anything"
"It was something bad, something very dark, something that you want to conceal so badly that you've changed your body language so that I wouldn't be able to detect it. John, I think we need to make a promise to tell each other everything"
John moved from Sherlock's chest and turned so that he was facing him, propping his head up on his elbow.
"Well, that would work out well…I guess. I do need you to start telling me all of you plans, everything that you intend to do. Also everything you know-well that of relevance- as soon as you know it."
"Of course. Unless it would be better for you not to know those things" John was about to protest, but realised that Sherlock would never be able fully agree to this. He had now realised that Sherlock would do anything to protect him, no matter the cost. "But that includes everything from our pasts too, I have no problem with that…but it might be slightly more difficult for you"
"Yes. But there are many things I want to know about you, and this seems a fair deal. Though you have to understand…If there is something I don't want to talk about, I will come back to it. It's just I might need to prepare myself a little"
"So you're not going to tell me what you were planning to do?"
"Not yet"
"Hmph" Sherlock grumbled, he couldn't stand not knowing something. "Jooooooohnn" he protested.
"I can't"
Sherlock pouted.
"Don't look at me like that…"
"John, if you don't tell me I'll cry.." He said, his eyes already filling with tears. It came very easy too, he could probably have been a good actor if he didn't find that profession extremely tedious.
"Jeez Sherlock. Don't do that"
" Please?" Sherlock said, letting the tears roll down his face.
"Okay. I will if you stop it"
Sherlock immediately stopped crying and wiped his eyes, sitting up straight and pulling John with him.
"I know you're acting…but please don't do that again?"
He was stalling. "Fine" But he didn't go on.
"Yes John…" Sherlock prompted.
John's face was suddenly so full of grief that Sherlock pulled him back for a hug.
"John, John. What is it? Tell me. I can't bear seeing you like this, knowing it's all my fault." His voice was urgent. He felt that is he spoke fast enough, John would be feel better sooner.
"I was planning to join you" John whispered, his face was pressed into Sherlock's neck, his voice almost inaudible.
"I don't understand-you thought I was dead-how could you ever join me-. Oh. " This time, the tears that filled his eyes were real. This surprised him, he never cried for real, it was always an act to get what he wanted. Why was he reacting in this way? Yes, a normal person would feel like this, but not him. Not Sherlock Holmes. He didn't respond to anything, his emotions were impenetrable, if even existent. This was the same thing from before, John was affecting him in a way that no one else could.
His John, wanting to die just because he'd left him.
"John" He was crying properly now, not caring about how strange this reaction was to him. He hugged closer, then bent so he could bury his face in John's shoulder.
He had sensed that this time Sherlock's tears were real, but he hid his surprise at the face "Sherlock, it's okay. I don't think I would have even gone through with it. I don't think. I'm not that brave."
"But you thought of it. You were going to die, just because I wasn't there anymore"
"Well, yes. I couldn't bear it. I-I need you"
Sherlock raised his head so that his forehead was resting against John's.
"I'll never leave you again."
"Do you promise?" John said, now very close to tears himself.
"I promise, if the situation ever does arise again, I will find another way around it"
"Thank you" He reached over and wiped Sherlock's tears away with his thumb.
"Oh, John. I wish I hadn't done it now, that I had known, how you felt. That I hadn't made you go through all of that"
"Me too. But I'm almost glad, in a way. I would have never realised how I felt if you hadn't. I would have supressed it, maybe forever"
"I think I may have come to the conclusion about the way you felt, then evidently my own feelings, in time. It would have taken me a lot longer though, years probably"
"I'm sure you would have figured out before that" John smiled weakly, he always had such faith in Sherlock. Even when nobody else did.
"Not likely. I know my own mind. I've never said this before but thank you John"
"What for?" John looked profoundly confused.
"For all your comments, others always hide them, they say that my ability is weird. But not you, John. You're always complimentary, and I think that the encouragement even helps me to improve"
John blushed. "Well, maybe they should say nicer things about you."
Sherlock kissed him again. This time, the kiss was very soft, but still passionate. John's hands tangled in his hair, in an attempt to pull them closer together.