Author's Note: So far we've only had one reference correctly identified...but then again, we've had only one guess. Don't be shy! If you recognize something, send us a note! Again, five correct identifications will earn you a preview of our next musical in the works.

1.6 Alice and Jasper

The lights come on onstage, revealing a cozy living room scene, complete with couch, armchair and a towering bookcase. The Cullens, including the newest member, are lounging around the stage. Carlisle and Esme are both sitting on the couch. Carlisle has a newspaper open on his lap, and Esme is perusing a magazine. Carlisle's arm is draped across Esme's shoulders. Emmett is the only one standing, boxing gloves on his hands as he punches at absolutely nothing, grunting in exertion. Rosalie is sitting in an armchair, a brush and hair gel in her hands. Edward is sitting at her feet, eyes closed as she brushes and styles his hair.

Suddenly, two people enter from stage right. One is a short, pixieish girl with cropped black hair wearing a sundress—Alice. The other—Jasper—is a rather tall man dressed in jeans and a hoodie, with a Confederate sackcoat over the outfit. Jasper is holding two satchels of luggage, one in each hand. Alice is holding a bag of Funyuns. She picks out a chip, chews it, then makes a face.

"Hey guys, I think these are stale." She announces out of the blue to the room at large. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Edward look up in surprise at her voice, gasping when they see two complete strangers in their room.

Without looking up, Rosalie says, "It's not that big a deal. Just throw them out."

Carlisle rises from his seat. "Who are you and what are you doing in our house?"

Jasper sets the suitcases down and nods his head politely. "How y'all doing? I apologize for our intrusion." he says, a hint of Southern accent evident in his voice.

Alice cocks her head, an impish smile on her face. "You should really move your extra key. Under the doormat is so last year." She eats another Funyun, grimacing again. "We're like you. You know, fangs and all that jazz. And we're here to stay, of course."

The other Cullens stand up and begin singing in unison.

"Sudden Appearance"

To the tune of "867-5309 (Jenny)" by Tommy Tutone

Sung by Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale and Jasper Hale

Two new vampires; where did they come from?

We've never met them, why are they here now?

How'd you find us in the middle of nowhere?

We never thought that we'd be found at all

We are completely freaked out

Someone please explain, quick!

Why they are standing here

Carlisle: Oh my word, they just appeared

Esme & Rosalie: Oh my Lord, they just appeared

Carlisle: Oh my word, they just appeared

Edward & Emmett: Holy crap they just appeared...

Carlisle: Oh my word, they just appeared

Esme & Rosalie: Oh my Lord, they just appeared

Carlisle: Oh my word, they just appeared

Edward & Emmett: Holy crap they just appeared...

*Frantic, chaotic, overlapping*

Carlisle: Oh my word, they just appeared!

Esme & Rosalie: Oh my Lord, they just appeared!

Carlisle: Oh my word, they just appeared!

Edward & Emmett: Holy crap they just -

Jasper raises his hand and says "Peace."

He lowers his arms and as he does so, everyone else on the stage visibly relaxes, slumping and getting goofy, happy expressions on their faces. Emmett and Edward lean so that they are supporting each other, shoulder against shoulder and faces scrunched close together. They smile giddily at each other.

"I love you Eddie."

"I love you, too, Emmie."

Jasper pulls the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and waves his hand over the rooms, muttering, "At ease." Everyone straightens once again. As they are coming to, he mumbles under his breath, as if for his own personal enjoyment, "These are not the droids you are looking for."

Carlisle crosses his arms and addresses the two newcomers. "Explain. Please."

Alice places her hands on her hips. "To make a long story short, I'm Alice, and this is Jasper. We're both vampires and we've come to join you. Don't worry, we've already moved all our stuff into our rooms and everything."

"But, how—," Esme starts.

"Oh I'm psychic and he's an empath." She pauses, then sighs. "You really want to hear the whole story, don't you?"

They all nod. Jasper and Alice start to sing, making grand gestures with their arms like Las Vegas showgirls and dancing a two-step while getting into the music.

"We Are Here"

To the tune of "Be Our Guest" by Disney

Sung by the The Cullens

We are here

We are here and we ask you not to fear

Though we know it may seem frightening

And just a tad bit queer

Vampires,

That we are

Yet with you it's not bizarre

You're a family, that we can see

Though we find it hard to believe

How you live

How you eat

After all, it's quite a feat

And a future here with you we would revere!

You're the closest coven that there's ever been

That's why we're here, why we're here,

We are here

Jasper: Where's our room?

Show the way

For we know you'll let us stay

Alice here will persevere

Until we fin'lly have our way

You're surprised

We're prepared

To just show how much we've cared

No more wandering or moving

Our sincerity we're proving

We're on the up

This I swear

With you our histories we'll share

And the truth behind the tale will be revealed!

In this I will not lie

For I will tell you why

We both are here

Alice: I see all

And this part I do recall

Both: We are here

We are here

We are here!

As the music slows, Alice and Jasper slow their dancing as well, simply swaying. Edward, Rosalie and Esme take out lighters and click them on, raising them above their heads.

Alice: He was in the Army

And was walking when he did see

Three young women strolling long before the dawn

Oh, he didn't recognize the danger

'Til after his humanity was gone

Though he became a Cold One

His special skill was begun

Of empathy, of feelings he controls

He feels the pain of every prey he chases

Yet finally I found him

Now his life is not quite so grim

Jasper: There she was

There she was

And her presence made me pause

She'd been waiting, ne'er abating

In intensity or cause

Up she walked

Looked at me

With a smile chock full of glee

In the middle of the diner

Said how sure she was I'd find her

I was late

So she said

Through the future, though, she read

That we'd meet and fall in love despite our flaws

Her past's a mystery

But with our history

Here we are!

Alice: Here we are!

Jasper: Here we are!

Alice: Here we are!

Both: Here we are, here we are

For this life we've traveled far

Alice: I have seen you in my visions and can tell

We're up to par

We'll fit well

With great ease

For we only aim to please

All together we're a family

The Cullens: And we'll finally be complete

For at last

We all come

All of us to become one

The family of the Cullens now we are

We all vow together

That this life we'll weather

As we are!

Here we are!

Here we are!

Yes, here we are!

During this last verse, the Cullen family, now complete, has lined up next to each other, arms over each others' shoulders as they dance the can-can. The Cullen family arrange themselves into the shape of a 'C', sliding onto their knees with their arms outstretched. They all harmonize the last note, faces turning red and then purplish as they hold it out for an impossibly long time. When the note is finally cut off, all the members of the Cullen family collapse onto their stomachs or backs, gasping for air as the lights dim and the curtains close.

End Act 1.