Notes: I don't know when Jonathan's mother died, so I'm making up my own date. In this story, she dies around 1987. I'm also taking a little poetic licence with the line from Season Three: Exile. I just felt there was more to what they were going through at that point in their lives.
Devastating Diagnosis
1986
Jonathan couldn't believe he and Martha had just celebrated four years of marriage. It seemed as if time had passed so quickly, yet their marriage was as strong as ever. Sure, they'd had a few bumps along the way, but they had eventually learned how to get over those little hurdles and make it a true partnership.
One of the things he'd had to learn was to let Martha find her own rhythm in the farm work, rather than do things his way. His mother had once told him that just because he'd done something his way his entire life, it didn't mean someone else's way was not as good. He had learned a tough lesson that first year when Martha had tried to help out on the farm, only for him to yell at her when he felt she was doing it wrong.
He whistled as he walked across the fields, watching her as she drove the tractor, her red hair gleaming in the summer sun. She seemed so much at peace when she was out in the field.
She spotted him watching her and drove toward him. He grinned and waved, waiting at the gate as she approached.
"Hi," she said, jumping off the tractor and running to him.
Her red hair flew in the breeze. She was wearing a short-sleeved white top that seemed to give her skin a glow. God, how did he get so lucky? he thought.
"Hi sweetheart," he said, reaching for her to kiss her. "What are you doing?"
"Oh nothing much. You're all sweaty," she said, running her hand across his chest.
"It's hot."
"Mm, I think we could both do with some nice cold lemonade, don't you?"
He bent and kissed her again. "You read my mind, sweetheart."
Together, they walked across the drive toward the house. Just as they sat down on the porch with some lemonade, his mother's car pulled up. Jonathan frowned as she got out, her gait slow. She had gone for her usual check up a few days earlier and the doctor's office had called, asking her to come in.
"Mom?" he said, going toward her. "What's wrong?"
His mother looked up. She seemed shaken, her face pale.
"Oh, hi, sweetie," she said, trying to sound bright.
"Mom?" Martha called, moving to stand beside him.
"Is that lemonade?" Jessica said faintly.
"I'll get you a glass," Martha replied, taking her hand and leading her to the porch.
The two women sat down on the porch swing.
Jonathan looked at his mother worriedly.
"Mom? What did the doctor say?"
She bit her lip, then sighed. "It's cancer. I have breast cancer."
"Oh, Mom, no," Martha said, sounding upset.
"There must be something they can do," Jonathan said hesitantly.
His mother shook her head. "All they can do is operate," she said.
He didn't voice what they were all thinking. They couldn't really afford the huge medical bills that were bound to crop up. Even to remove her breast was an expensive surgery. But she was his mother and if it could save her life, he would do anything.
"We'll work it out," he told Martha in bed that night.
Martha held him comfortingly. "Of course we will," she said. He heard the worry in her tone, knowing she was thinking of their finances. The farm had never really been profitable, but they could scrape by.
***
Martha didn't want to say anything to her husband, but she had considered going out and trying to get another job. She had quit the internship with the judge after the night of the flood, and while she was happy on the farm, she wondered if there was something else she could do to help with the family finances.
Still, she knew from experience that Jonathan would stubbornly refuse to let her get a job, even if it was for an office in town. He didn't like other people knowing their business, and if she did get a job in town then people would know they were struggling financially.
She watched him over the next few days as he drove his mother back and forth to the hospital. She was booked for surgery in a week. While he tried to put a brave face on it, she could tell he was devastated by the diagnosis. He'd already lost his father, now he was afraid of losing his mother too.
It was all right for her, Martha thought. She still had both her parents living, even if her father refused to talk to her. Her mother at least called a couple times a month, but she had always been close to her father as a little girl and she sometimes resented the fact they were no longer close.
Despite the surgery, Jessica seemed to get paler and thinner as time wore on. Jonathan continued on as if it wasn't happening, but Martha knew it was just his way of coping with it.
She wished she could get pregnant so they could at least have something good to look forward to. Their neighbours, the Langs, announced that Laura was pregnant and around November of that year, Laura gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Martha did her duty of cooing over the infant, but still felt the pangs of envy. She and Jonathan had been married over four years and they still had no child.
Deciding she needed to do something about it, Martha made an appointment with her gynaecologist.
Jonathan frowned at her when she told him what the appointment was for.
"Sweetheart, we don't need to …"
"I need to," she told him. "For my own peace of mind."
"Then I'll go with you," he said.
True to his word, he went with her to the appointment. The doctor listened to her concerns, then booked her for some tests. Jonathan went with her to those as well, holding her hand as the doctor performed an internal exam.
A few days later, he called her back.
"It's not good news, I'm afraid," he said. "Martha, have you heard of endometriosis?"
She glanced at Jonathan, who looked just as puzzled as she was.
The doctor showed them a picture.
"This is a normal woman's uterus, and this is yours. Endometriosis is, put simply, tissue growth outside of your uterus. Unfortunately, in the majority of cases, it causes infertility. I could go into a long-winded explanation, but I don't think you really need to hear that. I'm sorry, Martha, Jonathan, but it's unlikely you will ever be able to have children."
As upset as Martha was at the diagnosis, she had little time to think about that, as Jessica took a turn for the worse. It was clear to both her and Jonathan that she wouldn't make it to next summer.
Two days after her final visit to the doctor and the devastating results of her tests, Martha had to go to the barn for something and saw Jonathan crying. The sound tore at her heart, but she decided then and there that she wasn't going to let this beat them.
He turned his head and saw her watching him.
"It isn't fair," he said. "Why us?"
Martha took his hand and held it.
"Jonathan, as clichéd as it sounds, my grandmother used to say that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade."
He sniffled. "You're right. That does sound clichéd."
"Honey, this is not the end of the world," she said, with more faith than she really felt. As much as she wanted to cry about the unfairness of it all, that wasn't what he needed right now. "Maybe we can't have a child of our own, but I know somehow that we will find a way. We will have happy days again, you'll see."
He tried for a wan smile and she kissed him softly. No matter what life threw at them, as long as they were together, that was all that mattered.
They stood there, holding each other, determined that this, like everything else they'd faced, would not change how they felt about each other.