"Ugh. I'll be right back, babe." she called me babe. I thought I was going to die right there, it felt like my heart got too big for my chest. She crawled out of bed, rolling out on the floor like kids do in cheesy movies. I listened to her pad through the house, open the door, and greet Alice.
"Hey, Shane. Uh-oh, who is it this time?" This time? I thought Shane said she'd changed. I heard a few muffled consternations, then: "Haha! Just kidding. Ha!" I could totally tell the false tone, on account of Alice being 10 times louder. I also knew she was projecting her voice towards me, leaning in towards the door as she said it.
I got up and followed Shane's trail to the kitchen. Shane was slumped over the table, obviously exhausted. I grinned, not afraid to show how pleased I was that I was the cause of her sleepiness.
"The Christian Girl?" Alice squealed, and I raised my eyebrows. She'd given me a name? "Wow. Uh, Shane, what can I say, you're really good."
"Oh, don't give her all the credit. I've been a lesbian for a long, long time." I drew out the word long, both times. I walked over to the table and slid gracefully into a chair. Ruffled Shane's messy spikes.
"Hi, Christian Girl." Alice gave a little wave.
"It's Lucy, Al." Shane raised her head slightly, as if it was a great burden, and turned to face me. "You're Lucy."
"You got that right." I smiled, content, and pecked her on the cheek. "But, I got to go. I'll see you later, Shane." I half-raised out of my chair.
"Don't go," Alice said, her smile lapsing into a frown in two seconds. I sat back down.
"So, Al, what's the problem?"
"Um, nothing, just that Tina and Bette are having their little Poker Night tonight, and I thought maybe you should know a few . . . hours . . . in advance. Just so you, you know, know."
"And she calls you Yoda?" I giggled shamelessly.
"Everyone's going to be there," Alice continued on, "Helena, Kit - "
"No, Al, not everyone." Shane's voice was muffled, since she'd slumped back down onto the table, cradling her head in her arms. Her tone was that of a severely depressed and wronged person, one who's pretty much given up on "everyone's getting together".
"I'm sorry." Alice closed her eyes for a moment, breathed in deeply, exhaled, then headed towards the door. "Well, just wanted you to know, Shane."
"You don't have to go - " Shane started, but Alice waved it off.
"No, no, I can see you're busy." And with that, she was gone. I waved forlornly at the door, thinking somehow she could see it. I really liked Alice. She was quirky.
"Shane, I really should get going. I have to go home. I promised my father, and he's just. He shouldn't be alone too long."
Shane nodded, stood up, gave me a kiss, which almost led us right back to the bedroom.
"So," Shane whispered, running her hand down my arms, which in turn caused goosebumps. "Do you want to go to Poker Night with me?"
I don't think Shane ever asked anyone besides Carmen to play Poker with her friends. Lucy, you have to accept!
Totally forgetting that I had no idea how to play Poker, I said:
"I'd love to."
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Shane drove me back to the place we'd met two nights before, only it didn't seem that long.
"So, you don't have your own car?" she asked, trying not to sound too suspicious.
"No. My dad won't let me, um, have one. He's afraid of . . . I don't know what. He's just a paranoid man."
"Why do you still live with your dad?"
I looked at my lap and murmured, "Maybe that's a topic for another day."
"Sure, sure. Anything you want."
"Anything?" I nudged her. "How about a pony?"
"Hmm, not sure I can do that."
"Then how about a goodbye kiss?"
"Now that I can do."
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I slipped into the house and called out, "Daddy? I'm home," then proceeded to go into the kitchen and fix a pot of coffee. I wandered around the house looking for my father, then came upon him in the living room, sitting in his chair, sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to disturb him, so I went back to the kitchen and made some eggs and sausage for his breakfast.
He woke up eventually, and wobbled into the kitchen in his "I'm-an-old-man-pity-me" way.
"Hey, daddy? I just came back for a little bit, I'm going back out with Mandy tonight for Bible Study."
"What time you leavin'?" he huffed, as I laid out a big plate of eggs sunny-side up, sausage patties, and buttered toast.
"I think around eight." Thinking about it, I worried that maybe that wouldn't be enough time to see Shane. "Or maybe seven. We'll just have to see."
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I went back to our favorite meeting place at seven-thirty.
I slipped into the car as if it was exactly what I told my father I would do.
When we got to Shane's, Alice was there waiting for us on the front porch.
We went inside to wile away the half hour before the Poker game. While Shane was off changing her clothes, I smiled at Alice.
"So, I'm the Christian Girl?"
"Yeah, um, when Shane didn't know your name, she called you The Girl At The Holy Church Of God, but that took way to long to say, so I just started calling you The Christian Girl."
"Cool." I shuffled my feet.
"Shane really likes you, you know? It took her forever to get over Jenny. It's been a year and she hasn't slept with anyone since. But then you came along." I blushed. I didn't know what to say, of course I was happy [I was ecstatic] but what can you say to that?
"Cool."
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As the three of us entered Tina's house I called out, "Heeey, lick her in the front, poke her in the rear!"
"What is with you, Shane, and Papi always saying that?" Alice said in her cute little-girl voice.
"It's the only thing I learned when Shane was trying to teach me to play Poker."
"I know where that went - she said the line and you two ended up fucking."
"Shut up, Alice." I blushed and buried my head in Shane's shoulder. I could feel her winking at Alice while simultaneously patting my back affectionately.
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Halfway through the game, Angelica stumbled through the hall, into the living room, rubbing her eyes, calling out, "Mama. Mommy!"
"What's wrong, baby?" Bette asked, standing up and walking over to Angelica.
"I don't feel well. My tummy hurts."
"Okay, here, I'll give you some medicine, okay?" Bette led Angelica into the kitchen, and gave Tina a look that said, I think it's time to wrap it up.
"How's little Max?" the raven-haired girl asked when Bette came back downstairs. We were hurriedly finishing the game, and everyone looked up when the girl said that.
"Regina's fine, thank you for asking, Kimmy." Bette smiled a sharp little smile.
"They look just alike." Kimmy noted, and Max nudged her a little, his mouth set in a grim line.
"Max . . . has a baby?" I asked, eyebrow wrinkled in confusion.
"Yes, he had one before the surgery." Helena answered.
"Huh?" I turned my head to the side, totally lost.
"Max is a Transgender. He was female, but made the transition to male." Shane whispered in my ear. And even though I was surprised [I mean, Max just looked like a guy, not someone who had really had boobs and stuff before] it made me a little hot that Shane was whispering to me. I nodded, smiled at Max, then placed my hand in Shane's lap, inching closer up as the seconds ticked away. Finally, finally, the game was over, and everyone pulled out blankets in a group effort to get everyone a place to sleep.
Tina and Bette went up to their room, Kit and Helena slept on opposite ends of the couch, and Max/Kimmy and Tasha/Alice kept us company on the floor.
It had to have been midnight when she woke me up. The baby was crying somewhere in the distance, and the light was on at the end of the hallway. Everything else in the house was completely silent. Not even a mouse to scuttle across the floor squeaking. Just . . . sleep.
Shane led me to the bathroom and we carefully locked it. Or at least I thought we did. Hands grabbing at each other, whispered moans washing into our ears, Shane holding me up against the wall, my legs around her hips. The two of us moving in synchronicity, my hands pulling at fistfuls of her hair. Almost, almost. "Sha -"
The door swung open. If I hadn't have been caught so off-guard, I'd have slipped off of Shane and dashed out of the room in embarrassment. Instead we stayed poised there, Shane's hand down my pajama bottoms and my mouth frozen in between the a and the n of her name, our heads, tilted against each other, swiveled to the unlocked door.
Cough. A weak little Alice stood there, her eyes as wide as half-dollar coins, hands still on the doorknob.
"Oops."
I have no clue what Max will name his baby, but I thought Regina was kinda cute, so I used it. Feel free to replace it with whatever Max really names the baby. Oh, and, Max has shaved off all that stupid werewolf - I mean facial hair - and only has a teeny lil patch of hair like he did in the beginning of Season 5. Yahooey.