Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Pansy smirked at the man sitting opposite of her. He was clearly uncomfortable and she was loving every minute of it. She had been surprised when she had opened the door to the auror, they tended to avoid her unless it was important. All part of her rehabilitation, as they called it. She called it suffering. They were making her pay for her crimes.
She hadn't officially taken a side or been an actual death eater so they couldn't charge her with much. But they had charged her anyways. A couple of years living in the muggle world for offering to give Potter up to save some lives. Alright so it was mostly to save herself. But damn it she just hadn't wanted to die.
She understood though, that what she had done was wrong and since she had been a known supporter of Voldemort's views, she had been punished. Minor time served, they told her. You won't even go to Azkaban. As if they wouldn't have chucked her in there if they could have. Too many bad guys and not enough cells so the lighter charges got creative punishments. She believed those to be worse than Azkaban.
The young auror cleared his throat. Ronald Weasley was trying very hard to stick to his training and be unbiased towards her, but he hadn't quite succeeded. His ears were trademark Weasley red and his jaw was clenched ever so slightly. "I am here to offer you a new deal." She raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" "You may go back to Hogwarts and redo your seventh year next year. If you do than you will only have to stay in the muggle world until September and after the school year, you will be free."
"A tempting offer. I'd like to decline." He let an annoyed puff of air out through his teeth. "This is a good deal Parkinson. You could go home." She regarded him coldly. "I don't have a home anymore." "You could make a new one." "Weasley I swear if you tell me start over or to be a new me I will punch you, rules be damned." His mouth twitched. "You could." Was all he replied. She said nothing, just stared at him, pleased as he tried not to squirm.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Take the week to think about it. I'll be back next Sunday and you can give me your answer then." She nodded. He left her alone in her flat. The offer of being free, of having a wand, was tempting. But there was no way she could go back to that place. What the Carrows had done in her first seventh year had been unthinkable. The things that she had done just as horrifying as anything they had.
She had nothing to go back to. Her mind strayed to a pair of brown eyes but she pushed the thought away. He definitely didn't want to see her. She barely slept that night, tortured by the choice Weasley had presented her with. The next morning she got up got ready and went to work. She was a cashier at some grocery store far away from wizarding civilization. Every day she woke up, put on the garish uniform and helped hundreds of people buy their groceries. She dreaded every day she was scheduled to come in.
She had scoffed when they had told her it would be a difficult job. She should have listened to them. Her whole days filled with rude, angry, ungrateful, spiteful customers who thought the world revolved around them. Her favourite was when they threatened to stop buying food there. Perfect, you won't dent our profits and I won't have to deal with you anymore.
Men leered at her and she felt her hand go for her wand to hex them. She didn't understand. She was wearing the ugliest shirt imaginable and there was absolutely nothing exposed or hinted at by the seams. They made comments too. She always felt disturbed and repulsed when they did. They were creepy and she hated the way they looked at her.
She hated everything about this job, if she was honest. The terrifyingly long hours with very little days off, the customers, the job itself, some coworkers that she didn't care for. Okay all of her coworkers. She was sick of doing that job. She felt that the money (which she got to convert to galleons and keep) wasn't even worth it. And her feet hurt so bad she couldn't stand a couple of hours after she had had them up at home. They didn't have enough days of rest in between shifts to even stop hurting. They had called her in on a day off and as per the terms of the ministry, she was not allowed to refuse. She had cried real tears as she had answered that of course she would come in. She would rather live on the streets than work at this job any longer than she had to. That was how much she hated her job. It just plain sucked.
It was so horrible that she was leaning towards going back to Hogwarts. She was tough, work calling her in aside, and she would never have to be a cashier again. She could complete her education, get her wand back, get a real job, her own place.
It would be hard though. Extremely hard. She would have to walk through the halls, remember the blood she saw spill into them. The blood she had caused. It was do as you were told or get slaughtered yourself. She had just been trying to survive. The eyes of first years haunted her dreams. She barely slept. Their screams stayed too. The echoed in her mind, a constant reminder. And this was away from the school.
How could she bear to see that place again? To see the places she herself had been tortured? Where she had been forced into sexual acts so she would live? Where they had made her have sex with the one man she had dreamed of having sex with. They had forced him too. That part upset her for multiple reasons. He would be offered the same. Minor crime, minor time. Could she handle seeing him? Would she ever be able to look into the brown eyes of Theodore Nott again?
She had secretly loved him and they had forced her to rape and be raped by him. Would she shudder every time he touched her? Or would she want him? She didn't know which was worse.
It was a difficult decision. But when Weasley walked unannounced into her flat Sunday morning she knew exactly what she was going to say. He sat down. "Well?" "Yes. I'll go back." If he was surprised he didn't show it. "Excellent. Your sentence ends August 31. I'll see you then." "Goodbye." She responded.
She couldn't be stuck as a cashier any longer. It was time to make her life better. Weasley had been right. She could make a new home. And so she smiled for the first time since she started her job in the muggle world. It was going to be incredibly difficult, but she was going to get the life she wanted. She was going to get the life she deserved.