Act Two, Part Two
Col Richmond walked into the hospital and went straight to the reception desk. "Is Mr Gordon in a room now, Nurse?" he asked.
She checked her records. "Yes sir. Room Twelve."
"Ah, good. And is there any word on his condition?" he added.
"No sir, not yet."
His lips set into a thin line. "May I see him?"
The nurse hesitated, but she had been given orders to permit this man to visit that patient. "Yes sir," she said and called for a nurse to accompany the colonel.
They arrived to find an armed guard on duty at the door. The guard snapped to attention. "Good day, Col Richmond, sir!" he said loudly.
"Good day, Sergeant. Is there any word on Mr Gordon's condition?"
"Sir, I have not been told."
"I see. Well, we'd like to see him."
The guard got the door for him and Richmond entered, followed by the nurse. It was a semi-private room, with the curtains surrounding one bed drawn completely. And there on the other bed in plain sight, clad in pajamas, his eyes closed, his hair tousled, and his face pale, lay Artemus Gordon.
Richmond crossed the room to stand by the patient's side. The nurse, meanwhile, bustled about checking the patient's pulse and other vital signs, all of which she noted down on the chart hanging from the end of the bed.
"Well," said the woman at length, "his heartbeat and breathing are strong, and those are good signs. The doctor will be by shortly to speak with you, Colonel."
"Thank you, ma'am," he said cordially. He smiled and nodded to her as she left the room, closing the door behind her. Then he pulled a chair over to the bedside and sat down with a loud sigh. "Well, Artemus…" he said.
One of the patient's eyes, the one furthest from the door, popped open and looked up at him. "Yes, Colonel?"
Richmond smiled. "She's gone."
"Good," said Artie. "Permission to recover, sir?"
Richmond's smile stretched into a grin. "Permission granted."
"Great!" Artie threw back the covers and bounded from the bed. "All right, Professor!" he called.
The screen surrounding the other bed flew open and out came Prof Montague. "Good day, Colonel," he said.
"Good day, Professor. How goes it?"
"Oh, it's going very well, very well indeed. Mind you, our agents who had the opportunity to view the Phoenix in the museums of Europe and Asia sent us very detailed reports."
"Yes," said Artie. "Because of those reports, we were able to assemble a great deal of the materials we would need already. It shouldn't take us more than, oh… how long would you estimate, Professor?"
Montague put out his lower lip and shrugged. "Two days. Perhaps three."
"And then we'll have a working replica of the Phoenix?" said Richmond. He came over and looked at the various tools and gleaming parts spread out all over the screened bed.
"A perfect decoy, yes sir," said Montague.
"So perfect we'll have to be careful not to get them mixed up," Artie added with a twinkle in his eye.
Richmond shot him a look. "That's not funny," he said. "Not funny a bit."
"Well, no sir, I know…"
"The whole idea is to leave the replica here in San Francisco while you recover from your supposed injuries and Jim investigates the purported theft."
"Yes sir, I…"
"And while we keep the attention of the potential thieves focused on the missing bird here, that will give Prof Montague the opportunity to head east with the real item."
"Yes sir. And…"
"So I really do not want hear about any possibility that the authentic Phoenix will be remaining here as a continuing target of the thieves while the Professor delivers the phony to the Smithsonian!"
"No sir. No, there's no chance of that happening," said Artie. He shot a look toward Montague that plainly stated Artie wished he had kept his mouth shut.
"Good!" snapped the colonel, sounding very much like his former days of command during the late War. "Now, we'll be keeping that guard on the door to make sure no one, not even the doctor, can walk in on the two of you without some warning and…"
A knock came at the door just then. As the professor disappeared into the screened area and pulled the curtains behind him, Artie dove for his bed and went back into his death-warmed-over act. Richmond waited a few seconds, then answered the door. "Yes, Sergeant?"
"Sir, a message was just delivered for you."
"Oh?" Richmond took the note and closed the door again. As he opened and perused the single sheet of paper, both Gordon and Montague emerged, curiosity marking their faces.
Richmond read the note, then crumpled it in his fist. His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his other hand.
"What's wrong, Colonel?" asked Artie.
Richmond held the wrinkled paper out to him. "It's from Jim. Apparently our favorite candidate for thief of the year just had a heart attack while Jim was interviewing him!"
"Kutman?" Gordon looked over the note. "They've brought him here, I see. Hmm…"
"What do you mean by 'Hmm'? Kutman was the strongest prospect we've identified for possibly going after the Phoenix. With him out of the game…"
"But he doesn't have to be out of the game, Colonel," said Artie.
"What do you mean, he doesn't… Wait a minute. I've seen that Mona Lisa smile on your face before, Artemus! What do you have in mind?"
"Well, sir. No one expects Artemus Gordon to be leaving this hospital room for several days to come, right? So if in addition to this pale makeup on my face I don a fat suit…"
"You're proposing you take Kutman's place?"
"Yes sir. That way we can find out who Kutman's contacts are when they come to see me instead of him and we'll be able to learn their plans."
Richmond shook his head. "That could be very dangerous, Artemus."
Artie shrugged. "No more dangerous than usual, sir. The main contact I'll need to fool is Merle Koch. I can pretend that my illness has left me too weak to speak much, and perhaps my silence will loosen his tongue, you see."
"Hmm. All right then. We'll need to let Jim know and…" Richmond paused and frowned. "You have a fat suit?"
"Ah, Colonel, you would never believe all the disguise components I have on the Wanderer! I'll just need to sneak out of here and go get them."
"Oh no. I'm already going to have to substitute you for Kutman. The more times you go in and out of this hospital in disguise, the more likely it is that someone will catch on. I'll go to the Wanderer personally and fetch your things for you. Just, uh, just make me a list of what you'll need."
"Yes sir. And I'll include on the list the directions for disabling the booby traps that protect my things."
"Thank you very much, Artemus. I… Booby traps!"
"Well, of course, sir! You don't want to wind up sharing this hospital room with me while you nurse a broken leg or a knock-out gas headache!" Artie smiled winsomely.
"Especially as the other bed is already taken," Montague added with a twinkle in his eye.
Richmond started to reply, took a closer look at the pair of scientists, then shook his head and waited for the list without another word.