"Did I see you kissing Rafael?!" Marlene demanded before we even got out of the Great Hall.
"Marlene, I can't hear, let's get outside first," Alice asked sweetly. Marlene rolled her eyes and stormed out, letting all of us jog to keep up.
We sat down, and Marlene arched an eyebrow. "Yes, Marlene, I did kiss Rafael. That's typically what one does with one's boyfriend."
"What?!" Lily exclaimed, eyes going wide.
"One often kisses the person they date. It's part of the relationship process," I said slowly, "I know you haven't gone out with anyone, but I thought you understood the theory, Lily."
"You're dating him?" Mary practically yelled, making a few first year jump.
"I think I've said that twice now."
"Oh my gosh, you two are gonna be so cute together!" Alice said, grinning, "Congrats, Ally."
"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Lily demanded.
"James was an idiot, remember? And then I fell asleep over there. And then I had to practice because Marcus and Dimitri are trying out for my position. And then I had lunch with my boyfriend."
"Tell us how it happened!" Mary insisted.
I told them what I told the guys the night before with a few extra embellishments. They reacted almost like the boys.
"Oh, he kissed you first?" Lily said, obviously shocked.
"Yeah, for like, half a second before he pulled away and started apologizing."
"Aw that's so cute," Alice said, leaning on her elbows.
"But it's gonna be lame if he's always too nervous to do anything," Marlene pointed out, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem. This morning he kissed me in front of the guys and when they teased him he said that if he wouldn't kiss me in front of them then he wouldn't get to kiss me as often as he wanted," after a chorus of 'aww' I added, "I'm pretty sure he just apologized because I hadn't asked him out yet."
Mary wrinkled her nose, "You asked him out?"
I rolled my eyes, "Mary, in case you haven't noticed in the past four years, I've never been quite good at waiting for people to give me what I want. If I want it I go for it."
"Well, I can understand that, but, when it comes to dating, I let the guy ask me," Marlene said.
"What else do you that you go for other than dating?" Alice asked, innocent eyes wide.
We blinked at her for a moment before I simply said, "Sex."
"Oh," she said going red.
"It's not always sex," Marlene protested.
"Speaking of," I said, turning to her, "someone wants to show you how much he's improved since the last time you dated."
"Oh? Who?"
"Someone with good hair and a huge ego."
"That's like, half the guys I dated."
"Ok, someone who's on a quidditch team. Someone who likes to start rude rhymes up about the opposite teams."
She thought for a moment before she snapped her head at me, "Black?"
I nodded. She made a face.
"I just thought I'd warn you. Now let me see your schedules." We piled our bright papers in the middle of our circle.
"You're taking Arithmancy?"
"Yeah, I like it. Look, Lily is too."
"Well, Lily's a bit of a nerd."
"Hey! Just you wait until you need some help on your Ancient Runes homework."
"Oh, hey, Peter's taking Runes I think. I wonder if you'll have it together."
"Please, Merlin, no."
"Ew, we have History of Magic first thing Monday mornings."
"And potions first thing Tuesday and Thursday."
We chatted about our schedules and what we'd heard about various classes until dinner.
I slid into my customary seat in between James and Sirius.
Someone walked by and called, "Wow, I never thought James and Sirius would let a bird come between them."
"Wow, never heard that one before," I said, rolling my eyes and buttering a roll.
"They're lucky you're eating. You normally go of when other people call you bird, Bird," Sirius commented.
"She goes off on us plenty too, Sirius," Remus reminded him, passing Peter the potatoes.
"Can I see your schedules?" I asked through a mouth of chicken.
"Here's mine, I charmed the others onto mine in different colors. Go ahead and add yours."
I took it and tapped it, adding blue words to it. "As usual, we have everything together except for our second elective. Remus, we do have Arithmancy together. Sirius and James are taking muggle studies?"
"Well, no member of the Black family has ever taken it," Sirius explained.
"And I have to be there to help him cause trouble," James added.
"Oh, poor Raf…"
We went over our after dinner plan.
"What if he doesn't go to the library?" Peter asked.
"Pete, look over my shoulder. You should be able to see Snivillus."
"Ok, I see him," Peter said, confused.
"Now who else is talking to him?"
"Let's see, Mulciber and Avery are on either side of him, but he's not looking at them…oh! Lily's over there!"
"Exactly. I'll bet you three sugar quills she told him to meet her after her rounds."
"Alright, I'll get the cloak after dinner and meet you in the hall," James told me.
"And Remus will come in after we see James move to the side of the door cause that'll be the signal that he's done."
"So, James, grab the map when you grab the cloak."
"Gotcha."
"And the spell is?"
He rolled his eyes, "Call dolor Severus, call dolor Sev. You made me repeat it enough, Remus."
"Well, call dulcis Severus/Sev would make anyone who called him by his name think he's really sweet. The more they call him, the more potential they have to fall in love with him. You want that to happen?"
James's stricken face was answer enough.
After dinner, and after James grabbed the cloak and gave the map to Sirius, we walked to the library together. I opened the door, pushing is just a little too hard so it stayed open long enough for James to squeeze in close behind me.
I immediately led him past Madame Pince to the Dark arts research books (no actual spells, just what spells did and who identified them or some counter curses). Snape tended to spend his time in that section or the potions section.
As I expected, Snape was at a table full of large dusty books. Not wanting to be obvious, I started scanning shelves. Pretending to look for a book, I meandered closer to our target until I was almost behind him, and his chair was in the way of me continuing.
"Excuse me," I said, as he still hadn't noticed me, pretending I was engrossed in the shelves. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stiffen.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Marauder's bitch," he sneered.
I glared at him, "I don't belong to them. I'm the Marauder Bitch if anything."
"Well at least we can agree that you're a bitch, Sabine."
I turned fully towards him, crossing my arms, "My name's Avon, you prat."
"You were born into the pureblood Sabine family. You might be a blood traitor and go by your filthy muggle mother's name, but that won't make it yours."
I almost forgot that we were in the middle of a prank. He knew how to get under my skin. "At least my mother isn't as filthy as your disgusting, greasy hair," I said flipping the end of his hair into his sallow face before he could move away from me. I made a show of wiping off my fingers on my robes.
Rather than fumble for a comeback, Snape stood and whipped out his wand and I followed suite. He cast the first hex, and I was careful to cast the counter curse rather than dodge and risk harming the books. We cast jinxes and hexes back and forth, he got a horn growing hex past me, but I got him with a bat bogey hex when he laughed with glee.
I had just cast a jelly leg jinx when I heard "Protego!" from behind me as a barrier came between us, deflecting my jinx and making me counter it before it hit me or the books. I turned to see Remus stalking towards us. I had honestly forgotten he was supposed to come get me.
"Alchemy, Snape, I know you hate each other, but I thought you two each had respect for the books!" he chastised. He grabbed my arm and jerked me away, leaning to the side so my antlers wouldn't hit him.
As I was dragged away, Snape called, "Not going to take points from your mates, Lupin?"
Remus stopped. "Five points from Gryffindor," he said calmly, and I stared at him, that wasn't part of the plan. Snape smirked until Remus added, "And five from Slytherin."
"What?!"
"You were part of that duel as much as she was."
"She started it!"
"I did not! You taunted me and you cast the first jinx!"
"I did no—."
"I don't care who started it. I can't prove who started it and I can't believe either of you," he glanced at me, "At least, not without being accused of favouritism."
Without waiting for either of us to say anything, Remus released the shield and dragged me out of the library.
We didn't stop until we made it to the common room, though Remus did let go of my arm.
I pranced into the common room and Sirius barked a laugh when he saw the antlers that were well worth the small headache I was getting.
"Hey! I'm the one who has the antlers!" James declared with a laugh.
I grinned, "Come on, Prongs, grab your camera and let's take a picture together!"
After a mini photo shoot, Remus tapped my head and the antlers fell off.
"We have got to mount these and hang them on your dorm wall," I said with a laugh.
"So how'd it go? You get him with anything?" Sirius asked as I settled next to him on a couch, throwing my legs on his lap.
"Got him with a good bat bogey and almost got him with a jelly legs, but Remus came in and cast a shield. By the way, you didn't have to take points away, Moony."
"You took points?" James complained.
"I did have to, actually. But really, it was almost worth it for Snape's face when I took points from Slytherin too."
I laughed, "Yeah it was pretty nice."
I ran up to my room and got a bag of muggle craft supplies, and settled back into my place with my legs propped on Sirius's. Remus had fetched a book and had curled up impossibly small in an armchair, Sirius was reading a quidditch magazine, and Peter and James were arguing about something or another.
"What're you making, Al?" Sirius asked, looking up from an article on the Chudley Cannon's losing streak.
I held up a mass of silver wire that looked kind of like a stick figure deer. "This one is gonna be stag. I'm also going to make a dog, a rat, a bat, and a wolf."
He grinned, "Make the stag look stupid."
"No, make the dog look ugly," James said, breaking off from his argument.
"How can the dog be ugly? He's got to have really nice hair."
I rolled my eyes and wrapped wire around to give the stag more shape, grinning in spite of the stupid argument they were having.
"Oh, Al, that's starting to look so pretty," Lily's voice came to me, leaning over my shoulder.
James looked at her, his cheeks a little pink at Lily's accidental complement.
"Can you make me something?"
"Sure, pick an animal."
"How about a doe?" James interrupted.
Lily frowned at James suggestion; she said, "I think I'd like a kitten."
"But, Lily, you're so much like a doe!"
"Not as much as you're like an arrogant toe rag, Potter."
"Yes, but toe rags aren't animals," Remus mused without looking up.
"Remus! Why doncha tell her I'm not a toe rag?"
"Because all the other words I can think of are much worse and it'd be a bad example for a prefect to use them."
"We all know you've got a filthy mouth," Sirius said suggestively.
"Oh, come off it, there's no way Remus curses. At least not often," Lily said with her brow furrowed.
"You should hear him when Sirius takes his chocolate," Peter squeaked.
"Or when James spells his books to stay shut unless he guesses the password."
"Or when he stubs his toe on Peter's trunk 'cause it always sticks out at a weird angle."
"Or when Al and Sirius get into pun wars."
"Or when Sirius charms his books to fly around the castle."
"Or when James keeps talking about Lily past midnight when Remus wants to sleep."
"Or when Al and Sirius stay up late and wake him up."
"Or when he's really hungry."
"Or when we get caught in the rain."
"Or when Al gets crumbs on his bed."
"Or when Peter throws his dirty clothes across the dorm."
"Or—"
"Ok, ok, I get it!" Lily finally interrupted, "I still have a hard time believing it though."
"Lily, you know how annoyed you get by them if you spend ten minutes with them. I spend the majority of my time with them," Remus said drily.
"Good point," Lily said over our chorus of, "Hey!"
She laughed, and, for his sake, I'm glad Lily didn't notice James staring at her longingly.
"Well, I'd best be off, I told Sev I'd meet him after my rounds."
James made a face, while the rest of us tried not to laugh.
"Tell him thanks for the antlers. They were a great laugh."
"What?" she asked me, clearly confused.
"Don't worry about it. He'll understand," I said with a mischievous grin. If Lily got what had happened out of him—which she normally could—she'd fuss at him. She'd fuss at me too, but I don't have a huge crush on her, so it typically doesn't bother me like it does James or Snape.
The rest of the night passed in peace—or at least what passes as peace around us. I abandoned the stag for the moment and made Lily's kitten before Sirius, bored of his magazine, charmed my coloured wires to wiggle, snake-like through the air. Laughing, I snatched up my wand and leaped from couch to chair to table around the room, spelling my wire into neat coils that obediently wrapped around my wrist, to everyone's amusement.
One wiggled itself into Marlene's hair and she shrieked and wiggled around. I winked at Sirius and leapt past her to stand in the middle of a chess board to get one above the mantle. Sirius grinned and ran his fingers through her hair, coaxing my wire out, still wiggling. Marlene glared at him, though she blushed in spite of herself. After all, even most guys admitted that Sirius was attractive. I think he turned a sixth year gay by skinny dipping with James in the lake after our year end tests. I plucked my wire away from him, and left him to try and flirt.
Peter was consulting Sirius's magazine, and I dropped the still squirming wire down the back of his shirt. He squealed and squirmed on the floor as everyone turned, laughing. James even scooped up his camera and snapped a picture. The wires on my wrist wiggled free and I looked up to see Remus slipping his wand back into his sleeve. Soon, all the wire was tickling Pete, causing the rest of us to laugh as much as he was.
James set all the books in the room to flutter like birds around the common room, including the one Remus held, much to his dismay. In retaliation, half of my wire wiggled out of Peter's shirt and knotted themselves in James's hair.
Lily returned, looking ready to chastise someone (probably me), only to be greeted by Peter's shrill giggles, James's curses as he tried to detangle his hair, Sirius and Marlene leaning conspiratorially close, Remus and me standing on tables catching flying books, and the majority of the tower dying of laughter. Remus was the first to notice Lily, and he nudged me, pointing. Lily was standing, hands fisted by her sides, glowering at the scene before her.
"Whoever spelled those books up there had best get them down before I take points away before classes have even started," she said, clear voice silencing all but Peter.
James sheepishly raised his wand and the books settled on the table by my feet, and Remus pulled me down before Lily could yell at us for standing on the table. Sirius ran his hand through his hair, frowning at Lily over his shoulder.
"Come on, Evans, we're only playing around. The books aren't any worse off, and everyone had a laugh."
"Black, unless you want me to personally follow you and interrupt every interaction you attempt to have, shut it."
Sirius would have said more, but Marlene gave him a look that shut him up. Presumably because she didn't want Lily interrupting his interactions for her own personal reasons.
Remus silently called my wire out of Peter's shirt and it coiled itself neatly in its container, and I went to help James get the wire out without yanking his hair out. By the time Lily finished lecturing us (us being the Marauders), I was on the last piece of wire. I pulled it loose with a triumphant grin, only to look up into Lily's disapproving face.
"Ally, you lot are looked up to by so many of the younger kids; can't you be a better influence?"
I rolled my eyes, "A, we wouldn't be nearly as popular if we were a good influence. B, we are a great influence; we remind kids not to get too stressed out and take time to laugh. C, you know that this isn't nearly as bad as we can be."
"As a prefect, I'm trying to keep you lot in control from the start. If you can't goof off now, you won't late—"
She was interrupted by Sirius's barking laugh, though it was quickly followed by Peter's high pitched giggles, James's smothered laugh, Remus's low chuckle, and my squeaks in between silent giggles. She frowned, and I tried to apologize, but I couldn't get the words out.
"Ah, Lily, nothing can stop the Marauders. Sirius would sooner make amends with his family," James said with a grin.
"And James would sooner quit chasing you," Sirius added, stretching lazily next to me, kicking James who was leaning against my legs.
"And the both of them would rather beg Sni—Snape for a blow job," I said, catching myself in time to avoid a lecture on inappropriate or degrading nicknames.
"Ally! Oh and speaking of Sev, I got out of him what you meant about the antlers."
"Oh?" I said, feigning innocence far too dramatically.
"Yes. I can't believe you started a row with him. And calling his mum a slag? That's hardly better than joking that you'd be interested in him then turning your nose up. It's almost no wonder he hexed you after all that! I really thought better of you, Alchemy."
"Hold up now! I did not say any of that shite—"
"Ally, language!"
Ignoring her, I went on, "I was scanning books and when I said 'excuse me' he called me 'The Marauder's Bitch' and 'Sabine' and called Mum a 'filthy muggle'. I said 'at least she's not as filthy as your greasy hair' and he sent a jinx my way. I didn't start anything. I was just planning on ending it if Remus hadn't interrupted."
"That bastard," Remus muttered, surprising everyone. When he noticed everyone staring at him he explained, "Donnie is one of the sweetest women I know. No one should ever be rude to her. Even after all she's probably heard about Snape, I bet she'd still give him a smile and offer him a biscuit."
I laughed and nodded, "Yeah it takes a lot to make Mum mad." I didn't realizing I was touching the shoulder Carter bruised until Sirius's hand covered mine.
Lily looked shocked, "No, he wouldn't do anything like that…"
I looked her in the eye, "Wow, did you even think to say that to Snivillus when he accused me of being a bitch pretending to try and shag him?"
She winced and looked away, "Ally…"
I knew she hadn't meant anything, but my quick temper didn't care. I stood up and breezed by her as she tried to backtrack. I got one of the books Sirius got me and sat next to him, swinging my legs up onto his lap and ignoring Lily who was still standing there looking apologetic. Eventually, she whispered an apology and walked away.
"You know that wasn't fair, Al," James said quietly.
"You know I already hate myself for doing that to her."
"Why don't you not get mad then?" Peter asked naively.
I raised an eyebrow at him, "Alright, and while I'm at it, how about me and Moony each quit having out times of the month?"
He blushed slightly at the mention of my period, "But you can't stop those things."
"Yup."
"Give her a break, guys," Sirius said in my defense, "She's been getting better at controlling it, and you know it. A year ago she and Lily would've gotten into a fight so loud the Slytherins would be able to hear it in the dungeons. Plus, she purposefully got a book so she could calm down."
He was right, I got the book so I could distract myself from the anger. Lily was used to being loud and angry and get into arguments, but I was too good at getting under other people's skin. Besides, I though guiltily, I knew that asking the question then ignoring her would hurt her more because she couldn't get angry or argue.
Sighing, I dropped the book on my face and let my arm flop by James. I felt a lick on my arm, but I ignored it. Then the lick became a bite and I yelped and sat up, glaring at James.
"Being sad doesn't suit you, Bird. Evans won't hold it against you."
"Doesn't change it the fact that I tend to act like a manipulative bitch when my temper gets the best of me."
"You aren't a bitch. If you want to know what a bitch looks like, look at my cousin Bella. Or my Mum," Sirius said, taking my book and flipping through it.
"Just apologize, Bird," Peter said, "She'll always forgive you."
Normally, I wouldn't take advice from a guy whose version of asking a girl out is pranking her then offering her sweets, but in this case he had a point. I found Lily reading next to Alice at a small table. She didn't look at me, so I set the little wire kitten on the table and tapped it with my wand. She stretched and batted the wire ball of yarn she was posed with over onto Lily's book and pounced on it. After playing for a bit, she yawned and curled back up around the yarn.
Lily looked up at me and I smiled apologetically, and she smiled back. I sat down and asked her about her book. We would've kept talking late into the night, but she insisted that we go to bed early because of class tomorrow. I tried to excuse myself by saying that I had to talk to the boys, but Lily dragged me upstairs before I could.
I waited until I was sure they were asleep, then stole out of room in my giant nightshirt and shorts, my calloused feet moving silently over the worn boards.