Author's Note: Sorry that it's taken me so long to get a new chapter to you. I had to change my plans for this story. So now I have a little more direction. I do not abandon my fics. So here is an update, so Merry Christmas to all.
The new year dawned with a wind that whipped around the houses and buildings, sending all to seek solace inside and away from its icy blasts. But inside the Peachtree Street mansion, the iciness had permeated into the house as well. It was an emotional coldness, as impersonal as perfect strangers, but more biting. And within days of the new year dawning, Rhett slipped away in the night leaving Scarlett and children once again, leaving no forwarding address or a promise of when he would return.
Mid month, though the ground was slushy from the combination of melting snow and drizzle, Scarlett ventured out to the mill to see Ashley. The mills were still and the yard empty when she arrived. That fact in and of itself was unsurprising on such an inhospitable day such as it was. But when Scarlett walked into the office she found Ashley with his head bent, and his hands clasped behind his neck looking very concerned and time-weary.
He looked up as she shut the door. "Hello, Scarlett. What brings you out here in such inhospitable weather?"
"I couldn't stand sitting in that house any longer. It was near to driving me crazy. I had to get out of there, and where else was I supposed to go? My only other option was to go down to the store and harrass the clerks, as Rhett liked to put it."
At this Ashley chuckled weakly. "You do put the fear of God in those men. I think that there are men that would rather face Sherman again than deal with your wrath."
She smiled at him, thankful to see even a ghost of a smile on his face. "You looked upset when I walked in... is there anything I can help you with?" She asked.
"I don't think anyone can help me. You are a much better business person than I am. I'm running these mills into the ground." He confessed.
"Surely it can't be that bad.... why Ashley, you are much smarter than I. I can help you." She offered generously.
"No, by God, you can't help me. Don't you understand? If you help me then I have to admit again that I can't live in the real world. I can't survive in this post apocalyptic land. I would have been better off dead, better of dead at Gettysburg or Rock Island or the night that Frank died. At least then Melanie would still be here. She's who Beau and even you really need. I can't rely on a woman to save me every time I falter. Don't you see? I can't allow you to save me nor can I save myself. I am doomed." There was a lack of expression on her face that frightened her. It was the same look that she had seen on soldiers faces during the war. It was the look that they wore in those last hours of life when all hope for survival was gone.
"Ashley, it isn't that bad. It can't be that bad. It isn't like it was after the war. It can't be as bad as when I came to Atlanta to get the tax money." She pleading with him, fighting him to make him fight for himself. "Ashley."
At this he looked up at her. "I'll be fine Scarlett. I'll be just fine." He lied. Don't worry about me."
Scarlett sensed that everything wasn't quite right with him, but nor could she do anything else to help him. And so with an even more down trodden heart she did him farewell as she braved the treacherous conditions outside of the door. "Take care of yourself, Ashley. You know Melanie would want you to take care."
Ashley nodded with an even more strained expression, at the invocation of Melanie's name. "I'll be fine." He repeated with even less conviction in his voice than his prior utterance of the reassuring words. "I'll be just fine."
Scarlett drove the carriage from the mills, occasionally looking over her shoulder to see him still silhouetted in the doorway of the office. A feeling of dread settling in her stomach, as if she knew that this would be the last time that she would see him.
Wade and Ella were restless in the dismal weather that clocks Atlanta in its depressing shroud. They were active children who needed space to stretch their legs and spend their energy. Finally Scarlett came up with a solution that seemed to satisfy their needs without destroying the entire house. She opened the third floor ballroom and allowed them run freely. Beau was even more stifled in the tiny squat house behind Aunt Pittypat's, and so he too ventured up the third floor to release his pent up energy in endless races and games of tag that left all three children panting from the exertion.
Scarlett occasionally ventured up the stairs to watch them play, but she attempted to limit these times because ever since Rhett left, Ella had become an exceptionally clinging child. Gone was the silliness that had annoyed Scarlett at one time. In it's place Ella clung furiously to her mother whenever she was within sight. And when Scarlett left the room there was now always a tantrum resulting in a complete and utter meltdown that left the new mammy at a loss for what to do.
Exasperated by the tears and screeches emanating from Ella's mouth, Scarlett drug her down the stairs to her room in an attempt to calm the storm in her less than ideal way. "What on earth is your problem, Ella? You are driving us all crazy. No one likes little girls who are so hard to deal with."
Ella's lower lip quivered as she responded, "I don't want you to go."
"It's not as if I'm going any where. I do have things that must be done without you."
"But what if you leave. What if you go away like everyone else?" Her eyes were tear-filled, and for the first time Scarlett saw the fear hidden in the hazel depths.
"It's not as if I'm really even going far. All I have to do is go to the other room, and you begin screaming as if someone were beating you." Scarlett chastised.
"Everyone else left me." She cried plaintively.
"I haven't left you. Now stop acting as if every time I leave that you are never going to see me again." She said her temper growing short.
Despite her mother's anger, Ella seemed mollified by her mother's words. For despite her mother's sometimes offhandedness in her raising, Scarlett had never been one to lie. And that more than anything eased Ella's mind. She stared at her mother for a moment, an odd quiet moment shared between the two. It really wouldn't change the situation. It would only calm the storm for the moment, but it at least was enough for the moment. Ella might always be a clinging child desperate for the attention that she had not been lavished with in the span of her life. But it was enough for the moment.
And it had to be enough for that was all Scarlett had to give. She was so caught up trying to keep things from crumbling in combination with the fact that she never had been a very nurturing person. And so dealing with such a needy, clingy child only made her work harder and focus more on the things that she was capable of dealing with.
But life continued on in the Peachtree Street mansion, without a break in the monotony that had become their lives. And so a cold, biting January passed into a chilly and bleak February.