I flipped through the various pages of mothering tips, my anger pulsing through me. Ashley had refused to join me at the clinic today, which filled me with fear at her words. Mom argued with her for a while, but Ash won her over with the "I have a huge project due tomorrow". Such a stupid excuse, but mom was too tired to care after an hour of arguments.

Crap.

Looking around at my surroundings, the room was fairly empty, with a few mothers and their children sitting around. Looking at how they stared at me, I knew I didn't belong. Frankly, I shouldn't have even been here—but there was no point in pretending I wasn't pregnant. It showed, a lot. No matter how many layers of clothes or black shades I wore, I would be fat. Fat with a child. I raised the magazine a little higher, hoping to cover my face. Okay, so i was a little worried—I didn't like the attention.

Glancing to the side, I saw a woman staring at me. She was holding onto a baby, not much older than three months. She simply smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Oh, you're quite beautiful you know that."

I felt a blush colour my face, "Th—thank you."

"I bet any boy would be lucky to have you." I didn't reply, instead I could feel a hand wrap around my shoulder, and I could smell the cologne.

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely lucky to have her." Shit.

"Oh my, you two make a lovely couple. I remember when me and my husband were around your age...my, it brings back memories. After having three kids of my own, I can hardly remember what I used to look like. You know, I'm not as thin as I was before."

"Why, ma'am, I think you look absolutely stunning as you are now. I can only imagine how amazing you were when you were younger."

"Th-thank you young man." Repeating my action a few minutes ago, a blush seemed to spread across her face. He was really good at charming people. It pissed me off.

Before the conversation continued, she was called into the room. As she got up from her seat she smiled brightly at our way, "Ignore the old folks here. They aren't used to the times these days. Good luck on parenting you two." And she quickly rushed off. As she disappeared I quickly brushed his hand off my shoulder and continued to read the magazine. Only, I spent 5 minutes reading over the same sentence.

"Now, honey, don't be cold to me..." He whispered it in my ear, placing his hand on my thigh, attracting a lot of disapproving glances.

"Don't you dare call me that!" I shifted my leg, making his hand fall off.

"So, hormonal..."

"You try having a baby. Oh, wait I forgot, the only thing you like about babies is making them."

"Hey! I'm here to help you Amy, I actually care."

"Excuse me," the receptionist eyed us angrily, "could you please quiet down or take your lover's fight outside in the hallway? You are disturbing the other patients."

I muttered under my breath and continued ignoring him. "Why are you here anyway?"

" 'Cause you gave me the address."

I continued reading, pissed off that my plan hadn't worked.

"You intentionally wrote it messily hoping to make sure I didn't show up, right? Amy, I would have thought you'd know by now that your best friends are really big blabber mouths. It was easy figuring out where this place was."

I didn't respond, instead I angrily flipped the page, accidentally tearing the corner. "Why aren't you hanging with Adrian? You two were definitely cozy yesterday."

"Are you jealous?!" He laughed a little, brushing his hand through his hair. "I said I'd be here, so I'm here."

"I. Am. Not. Jealous." I clenched my teeth, "Forgive me that I just can't believe you. I just thought you wouldn't take this seriously and you'd chicken out."

"Now see that's where you're wrong. I don't chicken out. Unlike you. See, if you got rid of the baby a while ago, I wouldn't be here—and you wouldn't be mad."

"Ricky, how 'bout you try understanding how it is to sit in a chair and feel guilty, knowing you're letting someone kill a beating heart."

"Excuse me!" the receptionist looked at us again, angrier. "If I have to repeat myself to you two one more time, I will have to ask you to leave."

"Whatever..." Ricky muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets, as he slouched into his seat. "For your information, I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. She said she was sorry and all for slapping me. She asked me to come over last night. I didn't. She's pretty pissed at me so we're not talking. So don't judge me okay."

I didn't answer, rather I just looked at him from the corner of my eye, studying his expression. Maybe I was wrong, I had to admit it. But a part of me was glad I was. Maybe...he did change? But I wasn't willing to get my hopes up. Ricky was good at lying, and I was good at doubting him.

"Sorry..." I didn't expect for it to come out, but it did. Upon regretting the decision, I lifted the magazine closer to my face, hoping to block his view of me.

"Nah, don't be...it's my fault...well sorta..."

"Yeah, yeah...let's not get sappy now." I laughed a little. After a few more minutes of random conversation on many subjects, my name was called, and I shakily got up from my chair. Walking two steps, I looked behind to find Ricky still planted in his seat. "Are you coming, or what?"

He looked shock for a moment, as if he was processing everything around him. Finally, he stood up and followed me.

--

The appointment didn't take that long—a few questions, a bit of a check up, then an ultrasound. I had taken a picture before, but I still felt the excitement rushing through me. Feeling the cool gel on my stomach was fairly relaxing, and seeing the image up on the screen made everything seem much more real. The doctor printed me a picture, and I offered it to Ricky, but with a shaky hand he refused it—a wary smile placed on his lips.

Soon the smell of gloves and baby diapers and powder disappeared as I stepped out into the fresh air. I took a few long strides then headed for the way home, when I felt someone reach for my hand. "You want to hang out?"

His words surprised me, and I stammered my response, "I-I-I s-said I'd let you help, not hang out."

"Hey, it's the least I could do to take you out for food. You have to be hungry, and it's getting kinda late."

I sighed. "I don't know..."

"Amy, I know you have Ben. I swear I won't try anything."

I hesitated for a long time, not knowing what to do. Finally I looked into his eyes and saw sincerity, or at least something close to it. "...fine."

He smiled, and lead me towards his car. Opening the door a wave of pine freshness rushed into my nose. It smelled good. As I sat on the chair, I could feel the uncertainty in the air—something I sensed too often, lately. "So...what are you craving?" I stared at him. The question came out unexpectedly, but then again a ton of things these days were.

"Fries." I responded, already smelling the aroma of the potato filling the air.

"The mall it is then."

The twenty minute drive to the closest mall felt like forever. The silence seemed to consume the entire ride, with the occasional moments when he would turn on the radio, change the station, then shut it off again. It was awkward. It was awkward having Ricky being nice, awkward having him offer me food, awkward having him not care about Adrian. It was awkward having Ricky...not be Ricky. Was that even possible?

I kept pondering the question as Ricky stood in line, ordering my fries. I suddenly felt horrible. I covered my eyes with my hands, wishing that this really was a dream. But, no, I could smell the fries—and my mouth watered. Moving my hands from where they were I found three orders of fries standing before me. "You really didn't have to buy me this much...really."

He shrugged, "You're pregnant, I dunno how much pregnant women eat, so I kinda just got a lot...instead of having to wait in line again."

"Oh. Well, thanks. Again." I took a fry from the plate, and took a small bite. It was hot, but it tasted so good.

He took a fry and took a bite as well, "It's funny, you know..."

I looked at him quizzically, "What is?"

"Hearing you say thanks. I never thought you'd ever say that to me." He laughed a little, shoving another fry in his mouth.

"Yeah, well...this time you deserve some thanks."

"So, I don't regularly deserve a thanks?" Once again he took a fry.

"Nope."

"Why not?" he stopped eating.

I swirled my fry in the small pile of ketchup I had squeezed out of the packet, "Because usually you're an inconsiderate jerk who doesn't care about anyone. You prefer sex over anything else, and you really don't care who you hurt. You're stubborn, conceited, cocky, immature..."

"Ow, Jeurgens, that hurt." He jokingly placed hand over his heart.

"The truth always does."

"Well, since you're into analyzing me, let me tell you what you are."

"I'm pregnant, what else is there?"

"Well...you're immature, stubborn, overly emotional, and you pretend to be strong—but I can see through you. You're easily scared, you're gullible, and you really don't trust anyone. And, you're a liar." He stared straight at me.

"Oh look who's talking! I am not a liar."

"Yes you are Amy, you wouldn't be human if you weren't. Look, you say you hate me, but we're having an okay conversation, and you let me take you out and buy you fries. You didn't want me in your life, but here I am. You don't want to be pregnant, but you couldn't get rid of the baby. I saw the way you lit up when you saw the ultrasound—you hate how you're fifteen and pregnant, but secretly you kinda love it."

He had done it. Ricky had seen through me, even before I could. He had seen something that I was deeply searching for within myself for the past few months; and he had done it in five minutes. It bothered me.

"And you don't want this baby...do you Ricky?"

He didn't answer for a while—instead he shoved a few more fries in his mouth, and looked around the food court. He seemed to stare at a specific spot, and following the direction of his gaze, it was easy to figure out. There near the electronics store, stood a little boy and his dad. The kid seemed to be entranced by the show playing on the TV screen and was happily bouncing up and down, grabbing onto his father's sleeve. His dad wasn't annoyed, instead he smiled, scooped up his son, and carried him off to the next store—their laughter echoing throughout the food court.

"Ricky..."

"No. I don't want it. But, I don't have a choice do I? A while ago I was perfectly fine, being with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted. Life was pretty carefree, I didn't give a shit about anything. I'll be honest with you Amy...I didn't care about you. You were just another face—a one-time thing, but funny how things work out."

Ouch. Hearing him say that hurt a little. There I go again, getting my hopes up.

"But, that doesn't mean I don't care now." He reached for my hand, and as he held it in his own, I felt a shiver run through my body. Memories of that moment at the park a while ago went through my mind—but instead of pulling my hand back like I should have, I let him hold onto it. "Amy, I'm not the best guy for this job, but I'll try to be there. I know Ben's doing a good job, but...give me a shot."

I didn't respond, and he let go of my hand.

"Hold on one second." He got up from his seat and walked away towards the entrance. I let out a long breath. What was wrong with me? Was I really going to fall for that bullshit...or was it really bullshit? Was Ricky really...changing? Or was I? I was so confused. My head started aching once more, and I was fighting to hold the tears back.

"Here." His voice suddenly awoke me from my thoughts. Looking at what he was holding before me I realized it was one of those toy rings you got from a vending machine. It wasn't anything special—definitely nothing compared to the ring Ben attempted to give to me numerous times—but something about its simplicity seemed genuine and extraordinary.

"You don't have to wear it. Just thought you needed something to cheer you up. Or at least something to make you believe I'm telling you the truth. But seriously, don't think too much about it."

I smiled, taking the gift he was giving me, "I wouldn't have it any other way." As I stared at the ring, I was enchanted by the deep purple colour on the "gem". I smiled up at him. "Hey Ricky, can you take me home now? I'm kinda tired..."

He scratched the back of his head, then looked out at the darkness that was blanketing the sky. "Yeah...I should probably be going too..."

"Yeah." I gathered up my purse, and walked out the door, with Ricky leading the way.

The drive home, felt a little more comforting, but still remained silent with the occasional 'so' thrown into the conversation. It was dark when he stopped his car in front of my house.

"See you tomorrow, Ames."

"We'll see." I joked, making him smirk.

"By the way, I forgot to say-you're pretty too, when you're not pissed at me or being stubborn."

I gave him a gentle smile, not knowing what to say. Pushing the door open, I quickly got out, gave him a wave. He started the engine up again and disappeared down the street. When all signs of him were gone, I started towards the front door; only to find my dad standing there looking shocked. Mom must have kicked him out again, but that wasn't what was concerning him.

He look pissed.

"Amy, I thought I told you not to talk to that boy?!"

I just looked at him, then turned away.

At this point I didn't care if he disapproved of whom I was spending time with. He could hate Ricky all he wanted—he could yell at me all he wanted, but dad had a broken family and a life to fix up. Like I was doing with mine.

I was tired of the different stares people gave me, I was fed up with the disappointment, shame, and hatred. I was tired of lying. So once again I did what I had to—I walked past him and his anger, and entered the house.

Shutting the door behind me.