Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

I would like to apologize for how shitty the last chapter turned out, personally I thought it was one of my worst so I gathered my thoughts and decided that it was worth picking up my slack the same night...

Also, if you feel that this chapter feels a bit disconnected, no worries I feel that too, somewhat a little expected. Wanted to wrap up the loose ends on the background chapters with one last bow on the top before jumping into the action.

Oh and I also started naming my chapters

Chapter 6

Seeing Behind the Curve

-The future is much like the present, only longer.

Dan Quisenberry

- Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Buddha

Josh opened his eyes and looked across the room. The dream like haze left his eyes slightly and the outlines of two more bodies came into the view. The apartment that the Alliance provided was hardly that, it was more of a mini-barrack if anything. Two levels, two washrooms, two shower sets, one kitchen, two shared rooms. While it did keep a similar military environment, not allowing anyone to lose their edge, it also could be very disadvantageous. Like the nights Amari Kamara chose to snore.

On some nights Josh welcomed the loud, coarse sounds that came from Amari's throat. They tore him away from the nightmares that haunted most of his dreams. Sometimes he forgot that some of the people in his dreams were dead, mostly because he saw them before him more than many people that are still alive. On other nights, like this one happened to be, he dreamed of Tanya or his sister and her little daughter, his parents, and on these nights only common sense stopped Josh from suffocating the talkative private with a pillow.

His gaze travelled to Arthur, he was turning in his bed as well. There was no indication whether he was asleep, but Josh decided that silence was the best thing. Quietly, he slipped out of his bed and left the room.

Once in the kitchen he filled a glass full of water and looked around. His eyes a little more used to the darkness now to see the definite shapes of the table and five chairs. Part of his head wanted to go back to bed, but Kamara's snore, still slightly audible through the door put an end to that. Slowly, but a little less quietly Josh made his way to the balcony.

The door slid open, and the fresh air hit his face. His nostrils flared as the air entered his lungs, leaving Josh still for a few moments.

"Can't sleep either Corporal," Kamilah said, startling Josh just a bit.

She was sitting in one of the chairs, a glass of water in her hand, enjoying a quick smoke. She was wearing a shirt a size to big for her and a pair of tight, short shorts that barely got below her buttocks, the shirt went further down though. She wasn't wearing any make up, but Josh thought it didn't help in making her look gorgeous. There was no doubt she was attractive, but in the past two weeks he has built a strictly professional relationship with his squad. Ruining that would definitely play on Sheppard's nerves, especially since she was very particular about him and Tanya, letting a few things slide that perhaps she should not have.

"Pull up a chair," Kamilah smiled, patting the seat beside her, Josh obliged.

"I think one of these days I will beat Amari stupid with his own pillow," he said, reaching out for a pack of cigarettes at Kamilah's side.

"You smoke?"

"Haven't for about three years," he said, pulling one out and lighting it, "but seems as good an occasion as any."

The smoke entered his lungs, filling them full and then Josh released. A mixed feeling of ecstasy and guilt washed over him at the same time. It didn't feel proper to smoke, and he did promise his mom he would quit on her deathbed. Josh tried to justify this little misstep as not his fault, even trying to blame Amari's loud snores.

"I guess we can agree that this is between us the," Kamilah smiled.

"We can agree," Josh laughed, "so why are you here at this hour?"

"Well, Ami does not snore if that is what you're wondering," Alee laughed, "but I just can't sleep sometimes, so I come here."

"And smoke?"

"Yeah," she made a gesture towards Josh's own hand, "while you're holding one of the death sticks you formally resign the right to chastise me."

"I would never try Alee."

"You can actually call me Kamilah, Corporal," she said, "I mean we do all live together."

"Only if you call me Josh," he said, taking another puff, "Corporal makes me sound about five years older, and slightly more accomplished."

"What," she laughed, "with your record of bar fights worthy of a promotion? You undersell yourself."

"So you wanted patrol duty for tomorrow did you?"

They both laughed and silence came over them for a while. Josh looked at the sky, something about it was very serene, very calming. A small star flickered in the distance. What always amazed Josh is how different the sky looked on different planets, surely it was something to be expected, but having spent most of his childhood nights staring at the sky with Sarah he still couldn't force himself to get over it.

"How long you figure we will be stuck here," Kamilah paused, taking another puff, "Josh?"

"Not too long I hope, this is a bullshit assignment anyways."

"Off the record?"

"Like I would really care," Josh said, "everyone knows it. Look, we are Alliance soldiers, only those useless or new enough get stationed on colonies. Many have their own security organizations established, much like C-Sec, so military presence is for the most part arbitrary. System Alliance often makes an exception though," he paused, gazing at a flying star, "trying to prove to everyone that we have the power. This will end soon though, most of us will get re-assigned based on Sheppard's recommendations, and input from her trusted 'fire-team' leaders."

"You sound fairly confident," a tone of sadness was in Kamilah's voice, "I wish I was so sure."

"Trust me," Josh smiled, as reassuringly as he could without being creepy, his hand almost involuntarily went to her shoulder, "they won't keep us here for long. And off the record, you guys are a good squad, everyone more qualified to be a Corporal as much as me. All of us will soon be assigned to different ships."

Kamilah glanced into the distance and then brought her eyes around to meet his. Josh almost lost himself in that hazel gaze, it was so magnetic. She smiled and brought the cigarette to her strawberry lips, tugging in the smoke mixed with the toxins. Josh's eyes went down, he felt a little intimidated, insecure, and guilty all at the same time. Even though him and Tanya weren't officially 'dating,' at least that's what he told Sheppard, he still felt strongly about her. And she was as gorgeous as Kamilah in his eyes. A more conventional and 'old-fashioned' type of beauty.

"I just can't wait to get out there," Kamilah said, reclining again, "into the space."

"You sound like you have a chip on your soldier."

"Not in those words," she sighed, "but something along those lines for sure."

"Sharing is caring," he slipped in an old line his sister used to tell him when she wanted him to give something to her, or to share one of his secrets.

Kamilah laughed, throwing out the wasted cigarette and taking a sip of her own water, "I guess there is very little harm in that. I've always felt like I had something to prove. My mom was a Lieutenant for the Alliance, served under Admiral Jon Grissom. Always had high expectations of me, always pushed me."

"I guess it could be hard on you when your parents go for you, but to her very big disappointment I was also, as she said, 'cursed with looks to drive any man crazy."

"I'd think that would be more of a blessing," Josh tried a joke of simple reassurance, but never noticed whether or not it helped.

"I guess," Kamilah went on, "but not when every other recruit is trying to tap you on the ass for a 'job well done.' I got my dedication from my mother, but at times it was almost..." she paused to help gather herself, "degrading. I always had to deal with 'those' looks, everyone thinking that my grades were because male teachers had lingering eyes."

"I guess that's why I can't wait to get away, I want to prove that I can be something beyond of what the world paints me to be," she sighed, lighting another cigarette as Josh put out his own, "prove something. Sort of like Sheppard is doing. She is no less beautiful than me, but they treat her as a person of authority not just breasts with legs."

Josh squeezed out a chuckle, mainly because in his mind's eye he painted a quick picture of the female chest complemented only with a pair of slender legs. It looked more like an alien with very sexy eyes than what he actually meant to imagine.

Kamilah smiled and reclined, staring into the distance again. Josh sat there for a second not knowing what to say. She was a smart woman, and he suspected very professional, and he wanted to reassure her in any way possible, the only problem was that with her history she could misread forms of reassurance as something else, something he had reserved for only person. After all, he had to draw a limit at the number of people he was going to break the Alliance protocol with.

"You will," Josh patted Kamilah on the soldier, "you will Kamilah. It will phase out gradually. You're smart and you're good at what you do. Eventually the rest will see that, as they grow out of their childish stupors."

"Thank you," she smiled, turning around and pushing her lips onto his.

That was something unexpected. For someone who wanted to be treated professionally, she sure gave in really quickly, not that Josh was happy with the situation all together. The taste of her mouth got mixed with the smoke that was in it when she kissed him. For a second he even found himself enjoying the mixture, but then he gently pushed her away by the shoulders.

Kamilah's eyes shot down to the ground almost immediately. "I'm so sorry Josh... I mean Corporal... I mean..."

"Don't worry about it," he said, still slightly flabbergasted, "it happens, its late."

"It's just that no one ever complemented me on anything beyond my looks," she tried to smile, "please don't let this get beyond our friendship, or at least our work relationship."

"Not everybody is as farsighted as me," Josh smiled, trying to warm Kamilah up, "and don't worry about it, we're still cool. I want to go to sleep though now, hopefully Amari had the decency to shut the fuck up."

"Even in his sleep, huh?" Kamilah laughed.

"Even in his sleep," Josh smiled and headed back towards his room.

His brain was scrambling to connect all of the dots from tonight's encounter. He couldn't exactly say what happened out there, but tried to phase it out. Kamilah was attractive, beyond doubt, but that's not what he wanted. Why pursuing a relationship with a unit medic was already pretty bad, although beneficial if he happened to get shot, something within the squad, of which he was supposed to be the leader had a different suite to it all together.

Thankfully, Amari has stopped his snoring and Josh found himself drifting off to sleep, back to his dreams.

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"It's okay," his father whispered, Josh nothing more than a boy, "we all fail sometimes, we all fall."

"Even you?"

"Even me, son," he brushed the top of Josh's head and smiled.

"But how do you correct what happened? How do you make things right?"

"You don't," his father smiled, "you just live. There is no point of dwelling on the past or thinking of the future, stay in the 'now', there is a reason it is called the present."

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His sister's face was full of tears, she was crying all night again Josh knew. He walked up to her and wrapped his hands gently around Sarah's shoulders. Her sobbing slowed down a bit, but her body still pulsated under his touch. Her hair leaned into his chair and the floodgates opened again, there was nothing he could do but hold her.

"What will we do Josh," she sobbed, "what will I do? You're gone now, you're far away. All I have is Jessie and you now, and you're gone. She needs me to stay strong, and I need you."

"Sarah," Josh did his best not to cry, not now, not like this, "you know I wish I could stay, but I have to see something through to the end. For dad."

"But he didn't want you to leave in the first place," the sobs almost suffocated the words that left Sarah's mouth.

"That makes it even more important," he said softly, "I have to prove to hi... No, I have to prove to me that I can finish something. That I can just live like he did."

She looked at him for a long while, only like she could, only like an older sister could look at a brother. Tears still glimmered in her eyes, but Josh knew that she understood, she knew now, she had to let him go, and she would support him.

Sarah kissed him on the check and got up to walk away, but not before her hand brushing the top of his head, making both of them smile. He watched her walk away, and waited for the door to close behind her. Then he cried.

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Aleena walked towards him with her sure walk. Zeke's body was still twitching behind her, his mouth moving but nothing coming out of it. Josh tried to scramble back, tried to find his weapon. Nothing was there but dirt, she was on him in a moment.

Her blue hand closed around his throat, but all he could fell was her eyes, her blue eyes. For the first time in a million dreams did he recognize that there was no anger, no fury, no satisfaction in those eyes. He felt the sorrow and pain that were staring at him, he felt the necessity of what to come, he felt the soundless plea for forgiveness.

"I am sorry," she said as she forced himself on his mind.

It was said that there needed to be a mutual agreement for such a joining, but perhaps, just once in a few years this could be done. Aleena forced herself into her mind, she forced herself into his thoughts and held herself there, perverting them. He saw glimpses of happiness beyond layers of despair, horror, and pain. He knew it wasn't real it, but it hurt all the same. He needed to break off, he was the last one standing, he couldn't let her leave, not yet.

Josh screamed and Aleena let him go, staggering backwards. She looked at him confused for a second before hearing a rumbling of a not too distant shuttle, reinforcements. She scowled and the headed for her own shuttle, but not before stopping in front of some device and keying in a few things on her omni-tool followed by a beep.

As she departed, Josh looked at his own thigh. It was a bloody mess with his Alliance issue knife sticking out of it. The blood was mixed with the rain that suddenly started to come down. The maroon-brownish mud was what he focused his attention on for a bit, before the pain forced him into a haze.

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Zeke's father's face was almost as serene as the sky. He stared through the rain as the casket got lowered into the ground. For the sake of Zeke's little sister it was a closed casket ceremony. The pouring rain softened up the dirt and Josh's feet sank into the ground almost until the ankles. The row of tombstones lined in the line, a few familiar names. Mark, Lawrence, and now Ezekiel.

There was no priest, no ceremony; nothing like it was for the other two. Zeke's father requested for that, he just wanted his son to go in peace. His little sister didn't cry, nor did she show any emotion. Josh doubted she understood what happened to her brother, or perhaps she knew he was somewhere better now, somewhere where he could be at peace.

Zeke's father made his way towards Josh and shook his hand, his eyes were tearing, although it could have been the rain, "Thank you," he said, "thank you for showing up, for seeing my son to his peace."

"You're welcome," Josh said, "I wish there were more people here," he said, simultaneously pointing to the row of other graves, "although I guess they were here in spirit. Look, I know this is probably not my place or anything, but if you need some help, I have a sister back on Earth, it could be very hard, especially now."

"Let the past be past," the elderly man said, "we cannot change what has happened and none of it will change that my son is dead. We can only control the present, and hope it affects the future. If something is to come, it will, and we are powerless to stop it, we can only react to it."

Josh haven't said a word. Zeke's father always spoke in such riddles, Zeke always said that they were full of wisdom and the guys used to joke that he just got them of the fortunate cookies. Josh shook the man's hand and watched it walk away, but not before receiving Zeke's dog tag. He stayed just for a second, looking at the three graves, in perfect line. He wished Lucky Jack was beside him, but understandably, Jack asked Benezia to help him forget the Academy, all of it. He couldn't blame him.

"I'm coming boys," Josh whispered into the rain, "maybe sooner than I think, but with the future, no one can ever know. Wait for me..."

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He knew it was a dream but it felt just like it did last night, so real. It almost made the previous line up worth it. Like a line up of warm ups, leading up to an amazing show. Tanya was resting on his chest, her breasts pressed against his abdominal. She was smiling, yet a shadow of a tear formed in her eyes.

"What's wrong," Josh said, reaching slightly down to kiss her on the forehead.

"Nothing," Tanya tried to smile, coming off a little weak, "it's just, my sister is always right. I always try to be so strong, but I always end up making the same mistakes, expecting different results, I keep moving too fast."

"What are you talking about?"

"This," she said, still trying to smile, "all of this. It's only been two weeks, and look at us. I feel like you're about to get up and leave."

"Then you're crazy."

"You won't leave me?" Tanya sounded almost hopeful, "at least for now? You promise you will hold on? No matter what?"

I can't promise you that, he thought to himself, we can only control the present, and hope it affects the future. If something is to come, it will, and we are powerless to stop it, we can only react to it.

"I promise," he whispered to her instead, "I promise. I won't leave. I'll hold on. No matter what."

She smiled and wiped her tears on her chest, tickling him with her nose. When Tanya's face came up she was no longer pouting, but smiling. Quickly she crawled up his chest to his face and planted her lips onto hers. It felt so sweet, it felt so right, and most of all, she felt so safe in his arms.

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Thadan stood on the bridge of his ship, staring at the space map in front of him. He looked almost satisfied, both sets of eyes focused on his destination. It took a couple of years to do this, but this was finally achieved. As one who never questioned Chadar's leadership, Thadan got the pass to be at the forefront of this attack, at the forefront of this triumph, at the forefront of Batarian fury.

Thadan was a pirate for quite some time, but when he came to Chadar's side he was almost helpless, too small to be of importance. He was brought up fast because of his knack to pick the right operations and keep his crew both happy and faithful, although he believed both came hand in hand as they were.

For many years have Batarian's dominate the verge, until this vermin called 'humans' showed up, expanded their reach beyond what was reasonably theirs, took Batarian lands, took their profits, aimed to destroy their nations. Once in the verge, they never stopped either. The pirate suppression campaign by the Alliance affected everyone around them as well. They chased pirates out and killed those who would fight back.

On one of his raids Thadan had the misfortune to be attacked by a few ships. With severe losses he happened to get away, still terribly injured he found refuge where he could, until Chadar took him in, raised him up, and provided him with the means to fight this 'righteous fight' against the humans. He gave him ships and men, and let him loose on the Verge.

Thadan was highly successful in those raids, some even started to call him the Wrath of Camala. Yet there was never satisfaction, no matter how many humans died, they kept coming back for more, kept fighting back, and Batarian's scattered, no one but Chadar and Thadan recognized it.

A few years ago, they tried to fight the fight on their own. Chadar had acquired a nuclear device by ambushing an Alliance vessel. Thadan gave part of his crew to the cause and an Asari mercenary was paid heavily to join the cause, although she was never too loyal. The plan was spotless, detonating a device on Elysium, next to an Alliance chemical research lab, a warning shot. Something went wrong however, the nuke never detonated and the Asari mercenary was never seen again.

From that moment on Chadar made other moves. He bribed some warlords, reasoned with some pirates, or simply applied force by using Thadan's multiple crews. It took a few years, but the fleet was built. It was not as well organized as the Alliance, and Thadan suspected that many would flee if things went not according to plan, the more reason to keep everything in order. Besides, the sheer amount of force was enough to overwhelm Elysium. This time there would be no mistakes, this time the humans would get the message.

"We on approach to the relay, sir" a younger member of his crew spoke, still not to confident.

"Very well," Thadan folded his arms behind his back, "relay this message through the fleet, we are heading through the relay and for Elysium. Also," he licked the sides of his mouth, "mention that I will personally hunt down anyone who dares turn back. For the cause."

"For the cause," the young Batarian scrambled away.

Thadan looked as he left and lowered his head. The kid said the words, but he didn't understand what was behind them. Soon he would though, he would see what they meant, he would see the righteousness of the cause. This was the only to protect Batarian's from extinction, the only way to get everyone to see, because Batarians leaving the Citadel wasn't enough, now the council would see. The only way, Chadar's way.

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Josh was sitting across from Sheppard as she read his reports. Her eyes moved slowly and her lips seemed to mirror what she was looking at. Josh often found himself wondering whether it was just him or if Stephanie Sheppard was really one of the most dedicated individuals he ever met. She set down the reports and leaned forward towards him.

"Is this all?" She asked, almost disappointed.

"Well," Josh smiled, "I didn't see the sky come crashing down or face any Batarian raiders. When we do I'll let you know. Actually, if you want you'll be the first person I go to."

"Yeah," Stephanie tried to laugh, "very funny."

"Common, Second Lieutenant Sheppard," Josh nudged slightly on the shoulder, "lighten up. We're on Elysium, might as well relax while we can. In a few month we'll be rocketing through space while new dumbass graduates will take our place," he stopped when he noticed Sheppard giving him an accusing look. "That is not to imply that we are similar to those dumbass graduates."

"How do you do this Dri," she asked, almost musingly.

"Well, it's quite easy, you just let the edges of those lips rise fully up, like this," he pointed to a full blown grin on his face.

"I mean," she started cautiously, "I've seen your profile, Elysium, your friends, one of them blew his mind away right in front of you, how do you get over it?"

Josh leaned back and stared at Sheppard for a second, truly lost for words. He didn't expect her to be so frank, but he also thought she could see through him better than that. He was not beyond it, he was never beyond it, but it didn't do anyone any good to pout about it.

"I don't mean to bring back bad memories," Stephanie seemed to switch to damage control, "but I was brought up on Shanxi, my parents were killed, I had no choice but to join the Alliance," she was staring out the window now, holding her face stern. In a way Josh thought Stephanie Sheppard was not so different from Kamilah, a woman with a purpose, a woman on a mission.

"That day haunts me until this day," she said, "I feel like I should have die with them, instead of hiding, instead of running."

"A wise man once told me something very smart," Josh leaned forward, "we cannot change what has happened. We can only control the present, and hope it affects the future. If something is to come, it will, and we are powerless to stop it, we can only react to it."

"Look," he took her hand, as softly as he could, "as cruel as it may sound now, you cannot change that your parents are dead, but you can change what you do now, what you do about it. Don't let them leave you, but think about now, think about now for them. Make the name Sheppard mean something, don't let it die on Shanxi."

"Thank you," Sheppard turned, her face still a little moist from the few tears that rolled down them just a second ago.

The door slid open quickly and Josh barely cleared his hand from Stephanie's. A female soldier stood in the doorway, bent over, gasping for any air that was willing to enter her lungs. "Commander," she spoke, fighting back the fatigue, "I think you should see the radar."

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All right, so the main chunks of the background are safely wrapped up and I feel like it's time to get into the main course, so get ready. Some action coming up. Time to go re-read the codex.